heartsonfire
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2005
- Messages
- 245
I didn''t forget you all. I was still lurking and checking on all of you. I''ve read wonderful and moving stories. Congratulations to all newly engaged couples. I enjoyed all the lovely proposal stories and of course the gorgeous E-rings. Congrats to you GingerBCookie coz I''ve been following your story and you Houmedgal. I''m so happy for you all. Croy, I was thinking of you on your wedding day. Big hugs and all the best. To Dr. Ally, way to go I knew you can do it. Forgive me I have not posted for a long period of time. A lot of things happened since I got here. I just kept myself busy. I was suppose to come back end of June (shortly after my birthday June 21) or beginning of July. Now I guess I might stay longer. When I got here I joined a pageant, became one of the 15 finalists and won Miss Congeniality (honestly I didn''t want to win coz of my age I''m turning 27 and the cut off was 23, I just did it for fun and exposure and also because my mom''s friend was part of the production and they needed girls to join, didn''t think I would get in, was fun though). I also decided to get back into commercial and ramp modelling. Sometimes I assist for entertainment and events production. And I was offered a tv show to host which is still tentative. Cross your fingers. Everyday I have a schedule. As I said I keep myself busy. But here is the reason why I keep myself busy. OK, here it comes 1 1/2 months ago I broke up with my bf. Things just didn''t work out right. He didn''t seem to care if I am far away and I needed to know if I''m still important to him. I just became ''Out of mind out of sight'' to him. So many times I questioned him. I dont''t expect him to report his every move. All I needed was just to show me that he still cares coz I dearly missed him. And I still do. But still no changes. I undertand that he wants to be successful with his business but I''m not asking for all of his time. I only need a piece of it. If he couldn''t chat or talk to me at least he coud have emailed me a short message or text me on my cell. He had never called my cell or my landline and he has those numbers. I''m sure that is not too much to ask. Well in one of our chat conversations he mentioned to me that he is not ready for this - to get married and this is all what I want and it''s all about me. Well that was too much for me. I had enough. I''ve given him all considerations, I''ve given up my work for him just to spend half year with him so we could see if we could live together. I guess I''ve wasted my time. Yes, I am heartbroken and that is the reason why I wasn''t able to post anything. I thought I could handle it on my own. My family are devasted. We don''t talk about it. Well who wouldn''t be sad. I was suppose to get engaged next month around birthday. And the wedding should have been end of this year or sometime next year. I know he was coming hom to see me and to ask my parents for my hand. That''s what he said to my mother, when he spoke to her on the phone assuring her that he will take care of me and telling her that he loves me. Two days before I flew back home he took me to the jewelry store to finallize the E-ring. He made me choose between a Tacori and Endless Love setting and two amazing diamonds. I saw it but left the decision up to him. Well I guess that is all cancelled now. And I know that he never made any arrangements to travel over here to come see me. After the break up he didn''t even try to contact me and try to patch things up. I was the one who was trying to reach him. When I got tired and stopped checking my emails. I received emails from him wondering what happened to me and if I don''t want to talk to him anymore. That was not the point. Now that I am back checking my emails and sending him short messages he doesn''t want to talk to me. I lost lots of weight and I have a new haircut (new image for my carreer). And I know that he hasn''t mention to his family that it''s over. For him this is not over I guess that''s why he is not taking it seriously. I have not posted and kept quiet coz I was hoping things might change for the better. But I know one day I will find the right guy for me. Thank you for listening. Big hugs to you all. Missing you all. Rfath thank you for posting a WANTED post for me. Hugs to all the Boston, MA ladies. I will definitely have to come home soon. I still have to pick up all my belongings at my ex''s apartment. By the way did I mention that he gave me a pre-e gift 2 days before I flew. It is a diamond pendant past present & future. It''s lovely but I stopped wearing it since we broke up. He called it his promise gift to me.