Trekkie
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2010
- Messages
- 1,331
...if you found out your husband was using prostitutes?
A friend's wife recently discovered that he was using working girls while away on business trips. My friend (for the hell of it, let's call him John seeing as, well... I think that's pretty self explanatory) doesn't view this as cheating. John says he could have had an affair but he didn't - he just wanted his sexual needs met without emotional entanglements. His wife (let's call her Jane) is livid.
Background: Jane is in her forties, John is nearly ten years younger than she is. They've both gained a bit of weight since getting married but he carries his weight well - very active, very sporty and still very attractive. Jane has kind of let herself go - she doesn't dress up anymore, doesn't wear makeup, just doesn't care about her appearance. They work for the same company and have similar jobs but he works longer hours. They don't have children. They have had sex three times this year.
John's argument is that he wasn't being emotionally unfaithful - it was just sex. He feels that if he was getting it at home he wouldn't need to look elsewhere. Other than the lack of intimacy, he feels they have a very good marriage and still finds Jane very attractive.
Jane feels that he was being unfaithful. She has moved into the spare room. She says she doesn't want a divorce. She refuses to go for counselling.
Do you think what he did was cheating? How would you react if you were in this situation? How would you feel if you discovered your husband was using prostitutes? Would you feel differently if he'd had an affair?
Importantly, do you think this is Jane's fault because she has consistently refused intimacy?
A friend's wife recently discovered that he was using working girls while away on business trips. My friend (for the hell of it, let's call him John seeing as, well... I think that's pretty self explanatory) doesn't view this as cheating. John says he could have had an affair but he didn't - he just wanted his sexual needs met without emotional entanglements. His wife (let's call her Jane) is livid.
Background: Jane is in her forties, John is nearly ten years younger than she is. They've both gained a bit of weight since getting married but he carries his weight well - very active, very sporty and still very attractive. Jane has kind of let herself go - she doesn't dress up anymore, doesn't wear makeup, just doesn't care about her appearance. They work for the same company and have similar jobs but he works longer hours. They don't have children. They have had sex three times this year.
John's argument is that he wasn't being emotionally unfaithful - it was just sex. He feels that if he was getting it at home he wouldn't need to look elsewhere. Other than the lack of intimacy, he feels they have a very good marriage and still finds Jane very attractive.
Jane feels that he was being unfaithful. She has moved into the spare room. She says she doesn't want a divorce. She refuses to go for counselling.
Do you think what he did was cheating? How would you react if you were in this situation? How would you feel if you discovered your husband was using prostitutes? Would you feel differently if he'd had an affair?
Importantly, do you think this is Jane's fault because she has consistently refused intimacy?