How to handle boss while pregnant?

[Peepa]

Anyone else feel or felt like your boss just won''t let up on workload?
Seems like she is even more demanding now that I''m pregnant and going on leave?
How to deal?
How''d you deal?

 

[gailrmv]

Frustrating. How far along are you?

I felt my boss was very fair while I was preggo. He expected the same of me as before. I don''t think it''s fair to expect your boss to go easier on you (although it would be nice if they could), but I don''t think they should treat you worse than before! That''s just not fair - unless it is happening to everyone on your team, due to the economy. Still, that really stinks.

On my last day of work before maternity leave, one of my coworkers told me (straight face) to enjoy my vacation. Some people really do not get it!

 

[D&T]

my employers for both pregnancies have been the opposite (course they were male - which I don''t know if that has to do with it

or not). Wonder why she''s being that way with you? I don''t know what to say, other than hang in there, its almost over. Also is there a possibility that maybe you could get a medical note or something about the extra work load or "less stress" dunno just a thought so your boss knows not to overwork you or something? especially when you communicate to your dr this maybe?.

 

[Peepa]

I don''t deserve special treatment, but I feel I have more work on my plate then before I was pregnant.
I''m at 23 wks.
Is it a good idea to tell boss not to give me anything new after a certain date so I can make sure all my loose end are tied before I leave?
How much before my leave should that date be?

 

[fieryred33143]

I didn''t expect any special treatment. If the load increased (which it did), I just did it.

 

[Peepa]

Date: 9/11/2009 3:57:03 PM
Author: fiery
I didn''t expect any special treatment. If the load increased (which it did), I just did it.

Fiery, you''re tough!

 

[D&T]

I'm not saying you deserve special treatment, hopefully its not affecting your health if you were more stressed out or whatever. I started transitioning or "training" another gal about 4-6 weeks before I left on maternity leave just in case I delivered early, or had other complications. My second DD, i worked from home a week after my delivery until I came back in the office full time (well 3-4 days in the office)

 

[lyra]

Maybe you can speak with her? Does she have kids? I ended up having to go on leave a month earlier than I planned because my health went downhill simply from lack of sleep and early mornings. YMMV of course. Try to find a balance, but your health comes first obviously. It''s not so much that you''re not tough enough, but I sure remember what it was like to be dragging through every day just from being tired, let alone the rest of it. Good luck!

 

[Mara]

My work environ was already quite demanding and it hasn't changed... there is no special treatment nor do I feel like anyone is working me less hard. In fact sometimes it DOES seem like I'm working harder than before but I also know my boss is doing way more so there's a trickle down effect. It can be seem more stressful when you don't feel totally up to par as well. I am quite tired at nights and go to bed very early now, like 9 or 9:30 esp if the day was very grueling. One of my other coworkers said the same thing when she was preggo, she'd come home, sleep and then eat dinner and sleep again.

You could talk with your boss about your workload in general, possibly not tying it back to your upcoming leave necessarily, but just about how you feel you have enough on your plate right now and ask what does she see coming in the future so you can both plan things out better.

On another note have you two discussed your leave and what will happen? For me, we already have a plan in place, we discussed it when I told my boss I was pregnant. If not, maybe you can also work this out so you both feel more comfortable.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I''m 34 weeks and working harder than before and indeed harder than many of my colleagues. I have to teach three totally different preps -- one of them is a new to me AP (college-level) class; one is a journalism class where I have to prepare two different lessons for the new and returning students and maintain two different gradebooks; and one is another year of English entirely. The good news is that I gave up running a very work-intensive honor society for which I got paid zilch, nada, zero. The activities director tried to give me a hard time about that, but I didn''t have to volunteer to run it in the first place, and when something''s gotta give, I think the thing that pays zero dollars should be it! But with the new classes and the intensive grading that comes from having 80 AP students on top of my two and a half other preps, I''m not sure I''m really ahead in this equation.

 

[swimmer]

Phoenix, I too am an AP teacher, or well I was. I switched classes with my best bud the day before school started, two days after I found out I was pregnant, so that I wouldn''t be leaving the class right before the test (and wouldn''t have the stress of AP). My question is, what is your school going to do when you are gone? I couldn''t think of any real solution so went ahead and traded- the principal raised his eyebrows, but we are both ap certified so it wasn''t a big deal. We don''t hire real teachers to sub, (who would work for $80 a day?) so classes with maternity leaves or even extended sick leaves turn into study halls really. I am very curious about what other districts do, it is going to be a real issue in my school shortly with other subjects and such as several teachers are TTC. I would really appreciate hearing what your school is doing. TIA!

 

[taovandel]

My boss has been awesome. In fact, he''s already switched my schedule from 10-9 p.m. to 9-5 so that I can get out early. He''s also had me start my training of two different staff members for my position while I''m gone. I started training them about 3 months ago (I''m due in November). And just yesterday he told me that I am no longer allowed to do anything for them while the two girls are here training. I am to just sit back and watch everything they do and to approve things prior to turning them in. I feel like a complete waste of space on some days...because it is stuff they have been doing for 3 months now--so some of it doesn''t require me telling them anything about it anymore. But he said "too bad".

He also said he would work out the schedule for my husband (we work together) so that we wouldn''t have to worry about daycare problems as much.

This might have something to do with my boss and his wife being pregnant also---

It''s nice to have a boss who understands what is going on with a situation like this.

 

[Mara]

tao it's funny you mention your boss's attitude being more empathetic because of his wife, and greg tells me the same thing. he has 2 employees at work who are preggo and he says he really can relate so much more to what they are going through now than he would have been able to before. making more sensitive corporate men, awesome!

 

[D&T]

Date: 9/12/2009 5:25:59 PM
Author: Mara
tao it's funny you mention your boss's attitude being more empathetic because of his wife, and greg tells me the same thing. he has 2 employees at work who are preggo and he says he really can relate so much more to what they are going through now than he would have been able to before. making more sensitive corporate men, awesome!

you know its interesting, becuase both my male bosses (for different pregnancies) were the same way, they were quite empathetic and less demanding actually because they too have kids not too long before I was due.

 

[taovandel]

My boss even brought me hand sanitizer to make sure that I wouldn''t get sick and hurt the baby! I guess they see that when we complain about some kind of ache or pain due to being pregnant, they know we aren''t just making it up to get attention or lessen our work load--they know it''s true because their partner is going through it also.

I find it funny that the OP has a female boss that is acting like that----I wonder if we are missing parts of what is happening. Were their layoffs so the work has to be dumped on you? Did she depend on you before a lot--maybe she is thinking ahead and making you do all the work because you are the only one she trusts to get it done and she knows you will be taking some time off in the near future?

 

[sunkist]

I think sometimes men are just more sympathetic to women or pregnant women because they are MEN and it''s their social role to take care of women. Not to mention what you ladies have also said, they see their wives go through the same thing and know the pains and tiredness are really real. They want us to be comfortable and safe.

Where women can sometimes look at another woman and say ''suck it up'', ya know? Maybe she''s never had kids, or maybe has has had kids and felt like she was worked hard while pregnant/raising children and wasn''t given any breaks so why shouldn''t you be worked hard as well?

I just always remember my sister saying that when she had her first child, she was in her last year at Berkeley. She wanted to bring her sleeping infant into lectures with her (it''s sleeping and wouldn''t bother anyone) and the male professors would have no problem with it. It was the women professors that had a problem with it or gave her the eye or weird looks about it. Maybe it''s also cause these women are stuck on Women''s Lib and find anything that has to do with raising a family oppressive!

Anyway, hope things get better for you Peepa!

 

[Peepa]

Boss doesn''t have any children. I think it''s hard to truly understand pregnancy unless one is either going thru it or has been thru it before.

 

[D&T]

Date: 9/14/2009 2:34:24 PM
Author: Peepa
Boss doesn''t have any children. I think it''s hard to truly understand pregnancy unless one is either going thru it or has been thru it before.

uggg- sucks, bummer! she has no idea then what you are going through and has no empathy

. Are you the only one that she can rely on to do the work that she is loading on you? like Tao asked, is she just having Trust issues with other? maybe start to ask her when you think you can start transitioning/or training your temporary help?