How to deal with a B&M

[Tacori E-ring]

I am very conflicted. Since I have already lost a melee once in my e-ring setting the idea of getting my e-band from a local B&M (probably the same where we bought my Tacori) is very attractive. I am even willing to pay a little more to have that peace of mind. Here''s my problem. While I like the salesman we deal with at the B&M he talks down to me and doesn''t always answer my questions. I am not saying I am a diamond expert but obviously I know the basics and maybe beyond (thanks to PS!). My FMIL was shocked that even after I used tech. terms he STILL acted like I was clueless. He got quotes for me on both our bands and while I think they are priced correctly he won''t tell me what quality of diamonds they will be using!?! Granted I didn''t press him since we were on the phone and rather investigate more in person. All he said is these will be the best diamonds I would ever have seen from him which basically means nothing. He also said melees are so cheap it is only a matter of $100 to upgrade the quality (is that true?). I just want to know what I am getting. So I guess I need advice to how to deal with him. I know he is not trying to cheat me. They are a smaller B&M and so far I have been very happy with their service. But as my FMIL pointed out, we are talking about thousands of dollars. I think knowing the details is the LEAST we should expect.

 

[firebirdgold]

Ooh, that''s so annoying when they talk down to you!

Well, it''s annoying if you''re actually trying to buy something, when you''re not it''s kinda entertaining.. but I''m warped from actually being a salesperson in a previous life.
Is he the only salesman available? I know that they can get a bit possesive of ''their'' customers and not want to share with the other salespeople, but that''s not your problem. If he''s not treating you with the respect you deserve, then you deserve a better salesperson. If you''re not up to switching, try being a little snippy the next time he pulls the car salesman act. You know what I mean, the little woman routine where you ask about the engine and they point out the vanity mirror. (ok, a little extreme).

I swear, I don''t know what''s with these salespeople.

Whatever happened to the customer is always right?? Or to actually listening to customers?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Wren, thank you for replying. I see what you are saying. We thought it was so funny because this was the second time FMIL came with me to the B&M and BOTH times he used the same joke where he called her my "sister". Now I am not saying she doesn''t look great for her age but we don''t even LOOK alike and we weren''t fooled, either time. Too much smooze if you ask me. He needs to get some new lines.

On a different note he never pressures us and was even cool that we didn''t buy our center stone through them. I don''t know. I think you are right though. I need to be firmer.

 

[widget]

Grrrrrrr....I hate salespeople like that!

I need to be firmer.

Yes, indeed! One way might be to ask specific questions, letting him know you need specific answers.

For instance regarding the melee: Tell him you NEED TO KNOW if the melee are ideal cut and what the color/clarity range is in standard mountings. Then say that you NEED TO KNOW how much it would cost to upgrade the quality of the melee stones if you decide you want to.

Most likely he''d have to get back to you with the answers. Sometimes I suspect salespeople act like this not from arrogance but from machismo (not liking to admit they don''t know something) or even worse...laziness.

This is a big purchase. You deserve to have ALL your questions answered to your satisfaction.

widget

 

[youjane1]

oh man a used car salesman actually pulled that "sister" line on my mom years ago when we were shopping for my first car. We both just looked at him like "did you seriously just say that?" Needless to say we didn''t stay long and wound up buying elsewhere. Personally I think lines like that are sleazy and unprofessional, which doesn''t necessarily mean you will get a bad product or service from this guy, but I would definitely try to deal with someone else if I were you.

 

[Kaleigh]

That would drive me insano. Perhaps you can work with the manager??

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Widget- I did ask specifically but I will stand my ground next time we go in. I think you are right. He doesn''t KNOW the answer so he just skates around it. It is just frusterating because I FINALLY decided what I liked and now this. Arg...also FI liked two different rings. One has a baguette kind of channeled set (really cool) and the other has a PR diamond and two sapphires set into the band. This salesguy was trying to talk me completely out of the sapphire band which I thought was unprofessional. Just because HE doesn''t like it doesn''t mean my FI doesn''t.

youjane1-it is a HORRIBLE line.

It didn''t make her feel good either time. Just kind of annoyed her. The funny thing is this is an upscale B&M so you think they would be a little more mature. Overall though he really is a nice guy so I would feel uncomfortable working with someone else.

Kaleigh-it is annoying. JUST TELL ME THE QUALITY! I think I am going to take Widget''s advice and just keep being direct. If he says the best color, I am going to keep asking "what color is that?" ex....maybe his idea of best cut/color/clarity is not mine....

 

[Kaleigh]

I'd be like look pal, I know a thing or two about diamonds, so answer my questions or I walk. Seriously no need to put up with that BS.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

If the salesperson won''t give you a straight answer, ask to speak to the manager or the gemologist (if there is one onsite). If you still can''t get the information you need, the best thing you can do is go to a store that will tell you everything you want to know. There are too many good stores around - you don''t have to tolerate any nonsense from some small-time place.

 

[Rod]

My jeweler appreciates the fact that I''ve become better educated and we''ve even discussed the mess GIA is creating with their new cut grading system. Since this guy obviously doesn''t appreciate your knowledge, I can understand your frustration.

I think you should shoot this guy down a few pegs. Not answering your questions is likely an indication he can''t answer your questions, but that''s no excuse.

Here''s what I would say..........."I believe I asked you XXX and you have not provided an answer. Having become much more knowledgeable about diamond quality, I need to know the answer to my questions before we spend this money. If you don''t believe you are qualified to answer my questions, then please let me know who from XXX (name of store) will be addressing these important concerns?"

Don''t let this guy get away with not answering you. Period.

 

[firebirdgold]

I sometimes think that we are so conditioned to be polite, to not make people feel bad, and to not cause a scene, that we are uncomfortable with asserting ourselves in these situations. We also want people to like us and if we verbally reprimand them or choose someone else they may not like us anymore. This sort of social conditioning is useful in getting along in a crowded society, but can really hurt us when shopping.

It is his job to help you get the exact ring you want. It is also his job to make sure you feel good about the purchase. It is not his job to tell you what you want, and it is not his job to decide what information you need to know. He is not doing his job. If you want to stay with that store, ask for the manager the next time he treats you like this. I''m sure the manager would love to know that his salesman is alienating the customers.

I know it''s hard and uncomfortable to do this, but in the end you are doing neither yourself nor him any favors by avoiding it.

 

[princessv]

Tacori: I actually know about the B&M you''re referring to because of your past posts. I never actually named them out of courtesy but I think I know the salesperson you''re referring to..it was actually the store that my mother wanted my fiance to use when we were going to use my grandmother''s stone and make it into a three stone ring. The salesguy could only come up with two EGL side stones even though we specifically said GIA. Anyway, my guy decided that he would spend an extra $200 to send the sidestones off to GIA (the color of the two sides didn''t match the center) and the salesguy said it would take 4-6 weeks. My guy then paid for the setting, sidestones and the setting fee. The whole time, the salesguy talked down about the fact that GIA wasn''t that great and etc.

Anyway, long story short 2 months after the original 6 weeks past and many unreturned phonecalls (my guy was in LA not NC so it was long distance) we finally said enough was enough. When we finally got the salesguy on the phone, he talked down to me about the fact that it was really difficult to find matching sidestones

apparently, the sidestones came back from the GIA as several color grades off and a clarity grade off as well. We weren''t told this until we hounded the salesguy by talking to the manager first. These were just supposed to be regular round brillant, non-ideal sidestones too.

My overall review of the B&M isn''t bad though...because as soon as my guy got the actual store owner involved, they refunded the money immediately with many apologies. I really think its just the salesguy that is just bad. (Plus he''s older right as in 60s-ish?)

So now, my grandmother''s diamond sits unmounted in a safe as it has for the past year and the half after the B&M unmounted it. After all the mess, my guy decided to start completely from scratch and my mom has no idea what to do with it.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Thank you all so much! I get so uncomfortable in these kind of situations. Luckily it will be at least three weeks before I can get FI to go look at these rings with me (due to his work) so I have some time figure out how to handle this situation. It''s so strange. He really is a low pressure kind of guy but he made a comment that he can''t keep the rings out of the showcase for long so if he sells them, they will have nothing to work from (they are remaking the rings for us since mine is so specific and his way over-prices designer ring). I told him there was nothing I could do with that I was not going to make a decision without him and then he got cool again so maybe firm is good with him. Should I expect a wax since these are semi-custom rings?

Princess V-There are two salesmen by that discription. When my FI brought my EC in to be set in my setting the other older gentleman really talked down my stone (we did not buy it through them) and said how they could have done better, cheaper, blah blah. He made FI feel horrible. Our salesman was actually cool with it and said it was a nice stone and not to worry (how scary there is a worse one?!?

) So I wonder who you worked with. We chose them initially because they were one out of two stores (Reeds at the mall) that carries Tacori here. So, we really didn''t have much choice. Where in NC do you live?

For future jewelry like studs or a diamond pendant I fully intend to buy from a PS vender. I guess I am just gun shy since I have lost a melee and it makes me feel better to drop off my ring for a few days vs. sending it out of state.

 

[princessv]

Tacori: Scary indeed

The salesguy we worked with was named Bill. I can''t remember the owner''s name now...but I know we dealt with his son who is also part owner (and he was younger) the one that gave us a refund. It was still such a nightmare at the time. My family is from SC really just over the border in Rock Hill I''ll be back this summer it looks like so we''ll have to plan a Charlotte get together

(that way I can drool all over your ring too!)

I forgot to say last night...it''s really important to know and to check out the quality of the melee. Even though everyone gives such rave reviews about Quest, when Pete gave me my ring, I immediately asked for a loupe and louped every single melee. I say this because he used F-G color SI stones and I know from visiting the mall, that some melee had black spots definitely visible from the length of my hand.

Also, Quest promised me ''premium'' cut melee and I was a little uneasy about their premium cut (since they weren''t supposed to be H&A) until I saw lmurden''s and kaleigh''s rings in person. So when I got my ring, of course I took the H&A viewer and looked at every single melee. Surprise, surprise, all the stones had perfect little arrows! Yeah, I''m sure Pete thought I was nutzo, in fact he laughed at me! But, it''s really important to know what kind of melee you''re getting.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Bill was the one who offended my FI. We are working with someone else but clearly they might not have the best people skills there! I will ask about their melee. Good call!

A Charlotte get-together would be great. I know Diamond4me is also close to Charlotte. Who else can we get?

 

[princessv]

Hey Tacori, aren''t there a bunch of people in NC but not in Charlotte? I thought I saw that on the thread "where do you live" oh well I can post a get together in Hangout..I won''t be able to get together until later in May (stuck in VA till then hehe).

I dunno, but they really rubbed us the wrong way but I guess it''s all good because now instead of a regular 3 RBs in a regular setting, I have my Jub hehe

it seems like maybe the older salesguys are probably afraid of the educated consumer because things are changing so much.

It''s really weird though, we dealt with a B&M in VA, that the developer of the Jubilee picked and he was great (early 70s but super knowledgeable about H&A) so when we met him we knew all salespeople aren''t like the guy we dealt with

Any news on asking them about the melee?

 

[FireGoddess]

If you want to play his game about the melee and give him a taste of his own medicine, tell him that if the melee are "the best quality diamonds you''ve ever seen," then "I''m assuming they''ll be D, FL, ideal cut melee. Otherwise, I want to know more about them."

I mean c''mon, that line might work on a normal person, but a PSer? Don''t think so.