I don''t know if this post belongs in this section of the site, but I recognize quite a few of you from my earlier days as a LIW, some of you are now married and some are still single and I know that a few of you have been through similar train wreck relationships like I have.
I finally broke up with my ex at the end of January, as in, moved out, split up our crap, started dating other people. I had threatened him several times before, and our final descent really began last Spring, so by January I wasn''t even really upset about it. Terrified of the future, yes, scared of dying alone, yes, but missing him, or wanting to work things out? Absolutely not.
I think that he has ruined me for all other men. I feel like I am damaged goods. I don''t know how I can ever trust anyone again. I remember the way that I used to be, I was open and happy and honest, and I''m just not that way anymore. I''ve been dating this guy for like three months. I think that I like him a lot, and I think about him quite a bit, but we have absolutely nothing in common, he is getting divorced, basically I am just getting myself into a situation with someone who there is little chance of getting any kind of commitment from. I''m keeping everything inside, all of my feelings are so bottled up. It''s like I don''t want to act like I like him because I don''t want him to get, I don''t know, I guess the satisfaction out of hurting me if things end. Why would I even have that thought process???
We had a discussion about a month ago, but honestly we were both hamboned and I can hardly recall what was said. It was opening day and we were in a suite for his work, and I''m not one to turn down free booze. I said something about how I liked him (how scandalous!), he told me that he liked me a lot too, and brought up that he had introduced me to his daughter and he wouldn''t do that if he didn''t like me. I asked him if he was sleeping with anyone else and he got a bit offended and said that he wasn''t, and he said that my asking him that made him wonder if I was. I think that we came to some kind of agreement about not seeing other people, but I don''t remember, and don''t know if conversations about monogamy that are made while naked and hammered are legally binding. Plus, I''m not one to trust anything any guy says these days.
I don''t even know why I like him so much, maybe it''s just the distraction factor. We''re kind of like Harry and Charlotte, he does not have the look that I typically go for. I''ve always like tall jock types, while he is shorter, really skinny and balding. Most of my friends have been kind of shocked and told me that I can do much better, but he gets more attractive to me every time I see him, and the sex is amazing. With both of our schedules, we only see each other once or twice a week,but I feel like I am always the one initiating the plans. Well, he was drunk on Friday night and kept trying to get me to come over but I was out with friends so I didn''t. We''ve been dating for three months, shouldn''t one of us have pulled the trigger and been like "let''s be together" by now?
I know that I should just let things develop at their own pace, which is going pretty slow, and which is probably best for both of us now. I''m just used to (in my previous life as a single person) meeting someone, really hitting it off and being together immediately without any confusion as to each other''s feelings. I moved in with my ex within six months (but that obviously didn''t work out for me). This week I''m not going to suggest that we hang out at all, make plans with my friends and see if he ever asks me to do anything. I guess I''ll have my answer if he doesn''t.
God, I''m just torturing myself and making myself crazy. He told me he likes me, he holds my hand in public, kisses my forehaed, introduces me to his friends and I still can''t believe that he really likes me?? Thanks a lot, evil ex for ripping my heart out Indiana Jones style and making me into this psycho Bridget Jones woman!!
I finally broke up with my ex at the end of January, as in, moved out, split up our crap, started dating other people. I had threatened him several times before, and our final descent really began last Spring, so by January I wasn''t even really upset about it. Terrified of the future, yes, scared of dying alone, yes, but missing him, or wanting to work things out? Absolutely not.
I think that he has ruined me for all other men. I feel like I am damaged goods. I don''t know how I can ever trust anyone again. I remember the way that I used to be, I was open and happy and honest, and I''m just not that way anymore. I''ve been dating this guy for like three months. I think that I like him a lot, and I think about him quite a bit, but we have absolutely nothing in common, he is getting divorced, basically I am just getting myself into a situation with someone who there is little chance of getting any kind of commitment from. I''m keeping everything inside, all of my feelings are so bottled up. It''s like I don''t want to act like I like him because I don''t want him to get, I don''t know, I guess the satisfaction out of hurting me if things end. Why would I even have that thought process???
We had a discussion about a month ago, but honestly we were both hamboned and I can hardly recall what was said. It was opening day and we were in a suite for his work, and I''m not one to turn down free booze. I said something about how I liked him (how scandalous!), he told me that he liked me a lot too, and brought up that he had introduced me to his daughter and he wouldn''t do that if he didn''t like me. I asked him if he was sleeping with anyone else and he got a bit offended and said that he wasn''t, and he said that my asking him that made him wonder if I was. I think that we came to some kind of agreement about not seeing other people, but I don''t remember, and don''t know if conversations about monogamy that are made while naked and hammered are legally binding. Plus, I''m not one to trust anything any guy says these days.
I don''t even know why I like him so much, maybe it''s just the distraction factor. We''re kind of like Harry and Charlotte, he does not have the look that I typically go for. I''ve always like tall jock types, while he is shorter, really skinny and balding. Most of my friends have been kind of shocked and told me that I can do much better, but he gets more attractive to me every time I see him, and the sex is amazing. With both of our schedules, we only see each other once or twice a week,but I feel like I am always the one initiating the plans. Well, he was drunk on Friday night and kept trying to get me to come over but I was out with friends so I didn''t. We''ve been dating for three months, shouldn''t one of us have pulled the trigger and been like "let''s be together" by now?
I know that I should just let things develop at their own pace, which is going pretty slow, and which is probably best for both of us now. I''m just used to (in my previous life as a single person) meeting someone, really hitting it off and being together immediately without any confusion as to each other''s feelings. I moved in with my ex within six months (but that obviously didn''t work out for me). This week I''m not going to suggest that we hang out at all, make plans with my friends and see if he ever asks me to do anything. I guess I''ll have my answer if he doesn''t.
God, I''m just torturing myself and making myself crazy. He told me he likes me, he holds my hand in public, kisses my forehaed, introduces me to his friends and I still can''t believe that he really likes me?? Thanks a lot, evil ex for ripping my heart out Indiana Jones style and making me into this psycho Bridget Jones woman!!
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