how soon...

[kas baby]

...did you start planning? we are 1year 7months-ish away from the wedding day. We''ve been engaged since July 4th, 2008- long engagement, I know.

In that time we''ve tossed around a few ideas, cut pictures out of magazines and searched the web for inspiration, I went looking at dresses once, picked out some colors we like- but nothing too serious. Mainly because I''ve been taking full course loads, all heavy in the sciences, all critical to grad school app, so I really haven''t done too much- too much at once for me!

two weeks ago I decided, you know what, I just do not have the energy to do the main bulk of the planning, I''m on the opposite side of the state from where we''d like the wedding to be, so FI, guess what? You''re going to be the main person in charge. awesome. everything''s great. he''s happy, I''m happy.

It''s been two weeks and he''s already called caterer''s, looked up rental businesses in our area(for outside wedding), e-mailed officiants (since we''re writing our own ceremony), has a guest list very close to completed- both his and my family, pretty much picked out his suit (which is handsome, very nice), looked at sound systems and iPods (since we don''t want to pay for a DJ, rather buy stuff we can use again), has asked me about favors and what kind of cake I''d like, is comparing silks vs real flowers, asked me about centerpieces, ordered samples of invites, has talked to my mom about helping her with her yard (since she offered and we''re 99% sure we''d like to have it there)... he was visiting me this past weekend, and while I was studying he was reading through one of those bridal magazines and going through the "bride''s checklist"

what a guy. I feel like I was so incredibly lazy- and I''m now convinced that if he had let me have the reigns (since I''m kind of a control freak/perfectionist) that we wouldn''t even have a wedding because I would have had nothing done (do it perfect or not at all). two stinkin'' weeks! I''m so glad I asked him to take over... but how soon is too soon? is there even such a thing? I know I would''ve been too late, so I''m thinking his approach is better, lol, but I just wanted to read what you guys had to say.

wow, that was long- sorry!

 

[noelwr]

as someone who plans her vacations (in detail) a year before taking them, I never think anything is too soon.

we were engaged for 18 months, and I already had the dress by month 2.

you are very lucky to find such an efficient and organized husband-to-be! he is a definite keeper.

 

[princessplease]

FI and I got engaged 8 months ago

in March, and are getting married in July. Most of the big stuff (photog, venue, dress) were done way before we were a year out. I just booked the florist 2 weeks ago, thinking I was behind seeing as how we''re 9 months out, but he told me I was ahead of time, with most people booking him 6 months out.

I am a very details oriented person, and I didn''t want to have to worry about major wedding planning during school semesters, so I got everything done early. I got bizarre looks from vendors when I''d go in May, and tell them my wedding was July ''10, but I am SO glad I did it that way so I don''t have to worry about things now.

 

[laughwithme]

I think its awesome your FI can be so involved. Out of the things you listed, I don''t think anything is *too soon* (there''s no such thing, really) although the favors/cake could wait quite a while.

We got engaged 14 months from the wedding. That weekend, I bought my first wedding magazine. The next week, I began making appts with the church and reception venues. We booked both about two weeks later. You''d be surprised - some weekends for my reception venue were already booked, even 14 months out. Another venue which takes reservations 2 years in advance was completely booked for the next two years!!! So for big reservations, its never too early.

My main caution about doing the small stuff early - you and FI will be surprised how often your tastes will change. You like a favor one month, hate it the next. You like a color combo this week, and want to switch your secondary color next week. I''ve pushed back a lot of small details (favors/cake/chair covers) to 6 months out, because I don''t want to put down a deposit and be committed to something until I know my mind won''t change. Being almost 2 years away from your wedding, you and FI will still grow as people and your opinions/preferences will, as well.

Happy planning!

 

[vc10um]

Date: 10/28/2009 8:14:49 AM
Author: laughwithme
I think its awesome your FI can be so involved. Out of the things you listed, I don''t think anything is *too soon* (there''s no such thing, really) although the favors/cake could wait quite a while.


We got engaged 14 months from the wedding. That weekend, I bought my first wedding magazine. The next week, I began making appts with the church and reception venues. We booked both about two weeks later. You''d be surprised - some weekends for my reception venue were already booked, even 14 months out. Another venue which takes reservations 2 years in advance was completely booked for the next two years!!! So for big reservations, its never too early.


My main caution about doing the small stuff early - you and FI will be surprised how often your tastes will change. You like a favor one month, hate it the next. You like a color combo this week, and want to switch your secondary color next week. I''ve pushed back a lot of small details (favors/cake/chair covers) to 6 months out, because I don''t want to put down a deposit and be committed to something until I know my mind won''t change. Being almost 2 years away from your wedding, you and FI will still grow as people and your opinions/preferences will, as well.


Happy planning!

Ditto to everything!!! Your FI sounds like an amazing guy, taking care of all that!!!

But I definitely agree on all that "small stuff". Even if you book the florist, you won''t settle on designs to closer to the wedding...generally the same with cakes, etc.

Have fun with the planning!!!

 

[Laila619]

We started visiting venues the same weekend we got engaged, so right away! Good for your fiance, to be so helpful.

 

[Erinleigh]

Well, we got engaged in the end of September, and have already booked a photographer and a venue... for September 2011! So I''m definitely in the early planning boat That being said, we''re not planning on doing much more for the next year or so.

 

[meresal]

We got engaged a year before the actual wedding date, and started planning at about 11 months.

Here''s the thing. Many places will raise their rates once a year. Whether it be at the end of the year or in the spring you won''t know, but if you are ready to start looking then I would jump on it.
My venue raises their pp rates about $5-$10 each year January/February, and so we got the better deal for scheduling them in the very beginning.

 

[Lilac]

We started looking at venues before we got engaged and booked one the day after we got engaged (purely by coincidence - we were planning on sending in the deposit that day anyway and I didn''t realize he was proposing then!) Other than the venue, we waited around a month to start planning everything else, and our whole engagement was 10 months. So other than the venue, we planned everything else in around 8-9 months.

 

[cleokizzy]

first of all - your FI is amazing!

when i read he started looking into silk vs real flowers - i was like, wow. he''s really INTO it and even to that detail! congratulations! you''re so lucky.

i have to agree with laughwithme & vc10um, 2 years is a long way to go and you''d be surprised how your tastes change from now until your wedding. leave the details up to at least a year before you take the plunge rather than set it now. i also agree with meresal about venues and vendors rates being raised every year or so so you might want to book something that you definitely will have for your wedding (like the tent rental for your mother''s yard).

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 10/28/2009 9:13:23 AM
Author: Laila619
We started visiting venues the same weekend we got engaged, so right away! Good for your fiance, to be so helpful.

I would always prefer to be ahead of schedule than behind. We''re 11 months out and we haven''t booked anything yet since we''re long distance. He''ll be here next month and that''s when we''ll start putting down the deposits since our wedding will be in Florida and not Seattle where he''s at. I''ve done a ton of research though and had the dress within a month of our engagement. We got engaged in May and our wedding is in Sept 2010. So kudos for being ahead of the game! And your FI sounds awesome to be stepping in and up to the challenge of wedding planning!

 

[kas baby]

thank you everyone for your replies!

as for, FI, I really think he''s something special and I''m glad he thinks the same of me

the suggestions about leaving the details for later will work out fantastically. By time I graduate, we''ll be 5-6months away from wedding day and I''ll have more time to help with little details, and being a very detailed oriented person, that''s great. Hopefully we''ll already know what''s going on for grad school, which would be great, but we''ll see...


thanks again!