How much do you use PS as your therapy/support group?

[TravelingGal]

I see a lot of this (which is not bad, by the way) and wonder how each of you use PS in this regard?

I would have not survived without the preggo/mommy threads...it''s all so daunting and it was/is great to have ladies there for questions, venting and support.

Other than that I pretty much read for fun and use it as my water cooler. I don''t use it to vent about my husband (with the exception of TGuy dufus stories on the preggo/mommy thread. I don''t usually start threads about him, unless it''s to talk about hideous wedding guestbooks). I also usually keep any big life changes/job moves/family illnesses/ to myself. I personally feel kind of bad starting a thread about something sad, so I don''t. I also don''t tend to read any of the obviously sad threads (hopefully that doesn''t make me mean. It''s actually because I''m pretty soft about death/illnesses and cry easily when I read that stuff...so I prefer to focus on the PS happy).

What about you?

 

[MonkeyPie]

So far, I haven''t really vented - I did that in the past on the "other site" and had a lot of people basically use my unhappiness as a chance to hurt my feelings later on. So I don''t do that anymore. Plus I don''t use my real name as my login anymore, either.

 

[merrijoy]

Date: 7/7/2008 4:23:22 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So far, I haven''t really vented - I did that in the past on the ''other site'' and had a lot of people basically use my unhappiness as a chance to hurt my feelings later on. So I don''t do that anymore. Plus I don''t use my real name as my login anymore, either.

Don''t know what other site you mean, but I have read some pretty mean things written about/to other people on some other boards. Why do they do that (remembering what other people write only to use it against them)? That "mean girl" mentality is not seen on this board.

 

[Lynn B]

Nah, me either. I''m pretty much just here for the BLING! (Oh, that and the cat threads!)

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 7/7/2008 4:20:02 PM
Author:TravelingGal
I also don''t tend to read any of the obviously sad threads (hopefully that doesn''t make me mean.

GULP. Raising hand. "Meees too!"

A gal''s gotta focus on her strengths. Comforting someone ain''t my best bag, baby. THANK GOODNESS there are many, many lovely ladies on here who SPECIALIZE in sweetness & light & knowing the perfect thing to say or write or share. Also have a low, low, low tolerance for animal stories that don''t involve frolicking. Can''t watch Animal Trauma tv shows or anything like that either. Too squeamish. I was involved in a very sad animal story a few weeks ago but did not start a thread about it for the same reasons you stated: too sad. Felt I should just suck it up & move on. But, who knows, maybe there will come a time that I am SO IN NEED of help & support beyond my normal circle that I''ll feel compelled to spill it sadness-spreading be darned. Let''s hope not!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/7/2008 4:46:55 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 7/7/2008 4:20:02 PM
Author:TravelingGal
I also don''t tend to read any of the obviously sad threads (hopefully that doesn''t make me mean.

GULP. Raising hand. ''Meees too!''

A gal''s gotta focus on her strengths. Comforting someone ain''t my best bag, baby. THANK GOODNESS there are many, many lovely ladies on here who SPECIALIZE in sweetness & light & knowing the perfect thing to say or write or share. Also have a low, low, low tolerance for animal stories that don''t involve frolicking. Can''t watch Animal Trauma tv shows or anything like that either. Too squeamish. I was involved in a very sad animal story a few weeks ago but did not start a thread about it for the same reasons you stated: too sad. Felt I should just suck it up & move on. But, who knows, maybe there will come a time that I am SO IN NEED of help & support beyond my normal circle that I''ll feel compelled to spill it sadness-spreading be darned. Let''s hope not!

I say an amen to that!!! I guess snark and sympathy don''t really mix well in me.

 

[iluvcarats]

Hi Tgal,
I find myself on PS when there are dishes in the sink, laundry to be done, ect, or when I feel like your avitar. For me it is the great escape. I found it via my love of jewelry and stayed for the knowledge and conversation. I used to listen to CNN constantly until one day my 5 year old asked "Mommy, what''s a polygamist?" Now I''m on PS instead.

I don''t post too much personal information about myself, but I like to give someone advice if I think I have something constructive to say.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/7/2008 4:54:27 PM
Author: iluvcarats
Hi Tgal,
I find myself on PS when there are dishes in the sink, laundry to be done, ect, or when I feel like your avitar. For me it is the great escape. I found it via my love of jewelry and stayed for the knowledge and conversation. I used to listen to CNN constantly until one day my 5 year old asked ''Mommy, what''s a polygamist?'' Now I''m on PS instead.

I don''t post too much personal information about myself, but I like to give someone advice if I think I have something constructive to say.

*snort*

OK, that''s really funny.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/7/2008 4:29:15 PM
Author: merrijoy

Date: 7/7/2008 4:23:22 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So far, I haven''t really vented - I did that in the past on the ''other site'' and had a lot of people basically use my unhappiness as a chance to hurt my feelings later on. So I don''t do that anymore. Plus I don''t use my real name as my login anymore, either.

Don''t know what other site you mean, but I have read some pretty mean things written about/to other people on some other boards. Why do they do that (remembering what other people write only to use it against them)? That ''mean girl'' mentality is not seen on this board.

That''s my favorite thing about this board No one is mean for the sake of being mean, nor do they go to a lot of effort to dredge up past posts to try and make people feel stupid/sad. I''d much rather look at sparklies

 

[princesss]

While I don''t use it as a support group, I do use it as a way to socialize. For some reason no matter how much I put myself out there, I''m having a lot of trouble meeting people in my new city. So on days when I''m home by myself and starting to get depressed, I come on here and at least feel like I''m part of something.

I don''t really come on here to vent about relationship stuff, just because I worry how BF would feel if he stumbled on it. But I''m sure there will be days when I come on here frustrated, and it''s nice to know I could get more objective opinions.

 

[diamondfan]

I use PS in various ways depending on my mood.

I love to share, be it ideas or things, so I come here to pick brains and to share my thoughts and stuff. Hope it helps people, as I almost always get help somehow. Parenting, pregnancy, what neighborhoods are nice, make up, great movies, etc, I post on them all. I like the social aspects even though I have only met a few lovely PS'ers in life, there are so many folks I think I would love to know in real life too. There are things I keep private, but not for any compelling reason.

I have posted about mother in law issues, as I know this is a common thread topic and life issue, and since my MIL is pretty vile and I have survived nearly 20 years with her I figure I can be of some assistance. I love the broad cross sections of experiences and opinions from so many people, people I would likely not get to encounter in life due to geographical distances etc.

I love learning about new things here, and I like thinking that my comments or ideas have been helpful to anyone in any way, and that is a nice feeling to have. I truly enjoy being part of this community. I also do defend myself and others when I feel it is warranted, just as I would do in real life. For the most part, I find the people here to be kind and helpful, and I do not even mind a bit of snark, as I have to been known to be a tad snarky on occasion...(who, me?!)

 

[Independent Gal]

I sometimes treat PS as my Sane Collective Aunty. It''s a great place to get solid advice and feedback, and because there''s such a range of experience on here, usually there''s at least SOMEONE who knows how to help, and often many people. Case in point: the sad thread I posted today about the kid from work who committed suicide. I had no idea what to put in a note to his parents. I don''t know anyone who would have experience or knowledge along those lines either. But I got wonderful advice and suggestions from the ladies on here and was able to write what I hope was an appropriate and thoughtful note. By sheer force of numbers, there''s usually someone who ''knows'' what wise aunty advice to give.

I can''t tell you how helpful and wonderful having that kind of resource is.

But I think for me it''s less therapy / support group and more Collective Aunty. If you know what I mean. Barring the occasional vent of course.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I think in the previous iteration of my name (when I first joined and was part of the LIW forum being formed) I used it much more as an outlet for my non-proposing BF frustrations. I left for a while after the wedding, and didn''t post as much, but came back a while later and really felt like a whole different person.

Venting or not, I love this place for the amazing patience and understanding of its members.

 

[iheartscience]

I don''t think I use it much for therapy or support, really. More for procrastination and to stave off boredom! If I felt I needed some advice or support from my PS peeps I might post, though.

I do enjoy reading all the threads, whether they''re fun, silly, or high drama. I also tend to avoid the sad ones, especially about animals, because that depresses me too much! I can''t really handle the sick/dead pet threads, but I will post condolences occasionally anyways.

I have had a venty thread here and there I think, but I complain plenty to my friends and family in real life so I don''t really need to do it too often here!

 

[jewelerman]

It keeps my mind off un-employment.Ive enjoyed getting to know everyone through a common interest!

 

[Miranda]

PS is for my ''chill'' time. I feel so mellow and relaxed after a bit of it. I don''t really watch much tv so this is my zone time. I find all of the different view points interesting and thought provoking. But mostly, to me, PS is for BLING! Like you TGal, I usually avoid the really sad threads. Or work up to reading them. Especially the threads that involve animals. I''ve only started a few personal threads when looking for advice on minor issues because, let''s face it, PS folks know a lot about everything.

 

[gailrmv]

I used to post about more personal stuff than now. I always wonder who else is reading (not the regular posters, I feel like I "know" you guys) but I have to remind myself that it is a public website so I am trying to be more careful about what I say.

At the moment my work is pretty solitary and unstructured, so I enjoy popping in for a quick PS break every now and then, watercooler style like TGal said. When I post, that's not during my work time. I've learned a ton from other people's experiences. It's also great to research gems and such because most of my friends are not interested in jewelry!

 

[miraclesrule]

I use it for all of the above: support, advice, social interaction, excuse from having to do boring housework, networking, community.

I love PS, and that is because of the wonderful people here.

 

[anchor31]

I like the "Collective Aunty" term IndyGal used. When I was a LIW I didn''t know any other girls in my situation, nor do I know any BIWs now (except my brother''s FI, but we''re not really close) so it''s great to be able to come for advice on wedding planning. I''ve used it as a LIW and BIW to let off some steam so I don''t blow up in anyone''s face, so I guess it''s a bit like therapy. I also use it for other kinds of advice when I want second opinions or I don''t know anyone knowledgeable is these areas.

 

[gwendolyn]

I originally signed up because I had so many questions about diamonds, but have stayed because there always seems to be someone around who can help out with something. Having other people who have not only lived through long-distance relationships but international relationships as well has been an invaluable resource, since no one I know in real life has had to deal with the things J and I have to deal with in terms of immigration. The thesis support thread has also really helped to keep me motivated through my master''s dissertation! I think it was harder to slack off too much if I made myself post about what I had or had not done in a given day. I''m so glad Delster started it!

 

[KimberlyH]

My rule of thumb is that I don't say anything on PS that I wouldn't mind a stranger knowing if he/she overheard a conversation I was having with my husband, a family member, or a friend.

I use the WWT threads as a means of support for staying healthy and motivated to exercise and I do share information about my life with the people there, but I still follow the above mentioned.

 

[Skippy123]

I guess it is easier to talk about things here instead of in person. Lots of people give great advice here, plus certain questions my friends would not know the answers to. I try to to post things I would feel embarrassed about talking to friends and family about, I guess that is what I do for myself in case someone I knew was reading this. I will post in the sad threads as I am like to try and be supportive in any way I can.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 7/7/2008 7:32:02 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I sometimes treat PS as my Sane Collective Aunty.

Oh Indie Gal. You make me feel so OLD!

Can''t we all be cousins or something!