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- Aug 14, 2009
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Re: How Many Months of Salary Did You (or He) Spend on an E-
I reckon you should have a chat with her and bring this up, I think most women would much rather this and a plain band (or maybe one with a little sparkle ) than a big honking rock!
boredstiff said:Haven said:As for your situation, it sounds like you don't see the value in buying an engagement ring, so this really is a conversation that I think you should be having with your SO rather than us. I think it really doesn't matter what any of us did, or why we made our decision. What matters is that the two of you do whatever suits both of your comforts, desires, value systems, and beliefs.
That's a very good point you make, Haven. By the way, I think well-cut diamonds are absolutely beautiful -- I only wish they didn't cost so much That actually sums up the internal struggle I'm having...To give more context, I (intentionally) live a very frugal lifestyle in an (unfortunately) expensive part of the country. Being frugal is not just about being cheap -- it's about focusing resources on the most important (often non-material) things and realizing that possessing things doesn't necessarily make one happier, unless needed for survival. The question I'm asking myself is how an engagement ring fits into our beliefs, as you said.
As a guy, I feel like society (or more precisely deBeers) has created an expectation that a diamond is the best way to show love. But really, most girls seemed to be concerned what their friends and family might think. From a minimalist standpoint, that isn't a good reason to spend so much money. Isn't it more loving to pay off the student loans of your betrothed?
I guess if I were a girl, I'd want a nice ring as a symbol of my husband's love for me. (I've purchased diamond jewelry for her before (she didn't ask for it) and she loves it, but I don't know how important a ring is to her...) Sorry for the stream of consciousness here...but I guess I should figure out what she wants...lol! back to what you (and others) said!
I reckon you should have a chat with her and bring this up, I think most women would much rather this and a plain band (or maybe one with a little sparkle ) than a big honking rock!