How long were you married before you had kids?

[Laurenj915]

Vizsla,
What 1/2 did you do? Will you pick one that is close to you to do in October? Everyone does Chicago in October but that is already sold out. I''d love to fly up there and run it someday. I live in South Florida so I can only really train for a marathon in the winter when it is under 90 so all of my marathons have been in January and Febuary.

I like this marathon guide. If you click on the marathon name people have written if it is well organized, what the course is like, and everything else you''d want to consider.

http://www.marathonguide.com/races/races.cfm?Sort=RaceDate&Place=USA&StartDate=9%2F25%2F08

 

[MMMD]

I''m a little late on this thread but I can so relate to the fears before you start a family. I was married at 21 but didn''t have my first baby until I was 33 because I was so scared of motherhood (had 2nd DD at 36.) I was afraid of losing my identity, worried about $$, and thinking that I could never leave the house again. Also, I was a working girl, never ever was I going to be a SAHM.

Finally DH and I went for it because we were getting older and felt that we would be sorry if we didn''t ever have kids. I was pregnant a few weeks later but I barely acknowledged it to myself until the baby came since I was in shock and denial. Well, to wrap this up, most of my fears were unfounded. We were blessed to have an easy baby that traveled anywhere with us, I never felt that I was missing out on anything. When my baby was 9 months old I quit my job to stay home, further shocking everyone who ever knew me. I loved being a sahm and I made friends with other women in my neighborhood and enjoyed my life. There are some friends who I was very close to before I had kids that I''m not as close to now because we have different lives, so that was one fear that did come true. But now my daughters are 9 and 6 and both in school. I have started my own business and am back working, feeling like myself before I had kids.

In my case, children enhanced my life and taught me so much. Good luck to anyone still trying to make the decision whether or not to have kids, it''s not an easy one.

 

[geckodani]

Wow - great posts everyone. It''s been nice to read about everyone''s decisions/joys/struggles etc.

I will have been married for 2 years in a few weeks (Aug 17th). DH is in law school, and we both work full time. So.... having a baby right now would be insane, LOL.

The current plan is to wait until he has at least taken the bar before TTC. BUT - I have PCOS, which could make things interesting,

I worry about waiting, because I have a feeling that it''s going to take many tries and a LOT of assistance before we conceive. And then there''s the fact that my mom had 6 miscarriages, and I fear the same will happen to me.

But, if we start trying and conceive on the first try - I can''t imaging having a baby with DH still in law school and both of us working. I know others have done it, I''m just not sure I''d want or be able to. Oh - I''m 25 and DH is 27.

 

[neatfreak]

We waited 6 months. And our twins will be born in late December/January (hopefully that late!). First month trying.

So for all you ladies worried about it taking a long time, it often DOESN'T! Just look at Indy and I! (and remember the "anecdotal" stories about being more likely to conceive twins right after coming off the pill...)

We only waited a short time because quite frankly we both want to be young parents and in academia women say "have them early or have them late". So we went with early.

 

[ahappygirl]

Neatfreak - stories like yours just warm my heart. Very happy for you!!

Got married at 29, started trying about 6 mos or so later, got preg on first attempt, but had m/c at 9 weeks. Second try a couple of months later I got preg right away again, but had a ruptured ecoptic 9 weeks later and also lost a fallopian tube as well as the baby. Almost six years into marriage and on preg #4 (my 3rd IVF attempt by this time) gave birth to our son. He''s 4 1/2 yrs now and the joy of our lives. LOVE being his mom. I saw him when he was 8 cells old under the microscope just before they transferred him to wear he belonged! I also have his 8 cell photo in his baby book. 14 days later heard the heartbeat (he was 17 days old down to the minute).

 

[Haven]

Thanks for sharing all of your stories, ladies.

Hubby and I were talking about this recently and we decided we''ll begin TTC one year from now, so if all goes well we''d have the baby in the spring of 2010. I know that not everything goes according to plan, but if this does we''ll have been married for two years (together for six), I''ll be 29, and DH will be 40 when we have the baby. Sounds good to me! Oh, and I''ll have tenure at work by then, too.