How do you show yourself self-love and self-care?

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Curious how you show yourself self-love and self-care? I'm particularly interested in the emotional, mental, and physical aspects vs. with jewelry and beauty services!

 

[dk168]

Food, and it can be as cheap as a KFC or a very expensive gourmet meal, any food would do.

DK

 

[lala646]

A long walk. That's my version of meditation. DH, bless him, is the sort that wants to spend every minute together when we're not working. As an introvert, I need time to myself to decompress. This is especially true if I'm spending time in the office/around people, but frankly even includes time spent with just him. Pre pandemic, my special treat to myself would be walking home after work from midtown Manhattan to Brooklyn. 7+ miles to clear my head. Now, I go to our local park and walk the long loop which is 6 miles RT. Not feeling safe to do the long walks during the pandemic was awful, and I really felt trapped in our apartment. I'm thankful to be out there enjoying the fresh* air again.

*NYC air is not always exactly "fresh"

 

[kenny]

Curious how you show yourself self-love and self-care?

Do your 'work' on yourself ... IOW as many years as needed of good psychotherapy or psychoanalysis.
I see it as the greatest gift I ever gave myself.

Can't afford it, you say?
... Priorities!
Do you really need that Lexus, that expensive house, and all those diamonds?

 

[Elizabeth35]

Regular exercise to take care of my body and my mind---and to make sure I sleep well. I drink lots of water and eat healthy foods.
I take time to do what I like without guilt.
I don't spend time with people I don't enjoy and I no longer go to social events out of obligation (i.e.. bridal showers).

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Sometimes I go find my ear buds and just listen to music and let the household churn around me. 90’s alternative and grunge is my latest station. I love taking a nap, or going out and get in the hammock in the yard and watch the birds.

I love to be out in nature, out in a state park exploring the trails, the excitement of exploring a place you haven’t been to before is very satisfying.

 

[tyty333]

I'm with @Elizabeth35 ...I exercise every day. I know my mind/body needs it to burn off any extra adrenaline or cortisol.
I also take it pretty easy on myself. I try not to let that little voice inside criticize me or judge me. We're usually our own
worse enemy...don't be. Be a cheerleader for yourself like you would be for others.

 

[vintageinjune]

Drink plenty of water, move my body, ideally yoga , walk outside, or eliptical , but sometimes it is just stretching. Eat whole foods, go to bed on time, and get up when my body tells me to. I'm a morning person by nature, and I've found forcing myself to stay in bed for hours after I've woken puts me in a terrible disposition for the rest of the day. I'm working on significantly reducing my sugar intake , it is not as bad as some but the more I learn about the negative affects on our bodies the more I'm inclined to avoid it. That said, if I want a piece of chocolate or a fruit tart pastry, I refuse to feel guilty about it.
I really resonate with @Elizabeth35 - do not waste time with people who don't help fill up your cup, and no longer agree to participate in events that I dread going to.
Give yourself permission to cut ties with people who only ever contact you when they want something - this one was hard for me, but ultimately resulted in the greatest increase of inner peace.

 

[xsouzie]

I have a prayer/meditation room where I go and light incense every morning. I use non-toxic Japanese incense...comes in a variety of scents and they all smell so heavenly!

 

[westofhere]

Weekly massage! . I’m not into clothes/purses/shoes, or gadgets—bling and art are my indulgences—but I’d reduce the bling budget before I’d give up massages.

And walks.

And I only eat dessert once a week so I make it something really lovely.

 

[Matata]

Self love: the Rabbit

Self care: living life on my terms

 

[GoldenTouch]

Quality time with my child (apart from the daily grind of feeding, homework etc!!)

An occasional sleep in.

Pilates or a good walk.

A nice wine (or rum)

A Netflix binge (if there is something to watch!)

A good night playing cards with friends & laughing until my ribs hurt - usually come with lots of food & drinks…

Botox (& I don’t feel guilty at all…. No one has noticed & I happen to love the outcome!)

 

[missy]

I work out for my health daily. That time is sacred. I spend an hour every other day doing weights and pilates and floor exercises. I do the treadmill every day for about 90 minutes. I also try meditating (informally) and allow myself to take the time I need to feel good emotionally and physically. I do this for me and while I don't always look forward to it (the workouts can be intense) I am always happy when I accomplish my workout goals for the day. I feel better about myself and it energizes me and allows me to face the day in a good mood. Generally.

I eat healthfully and buy organic when I can and never skimp on spending for good food.
I make sure I get good nutrition and enjoy eating well. I fuel my body with good food and also enjoy eating delicious food that is good for me.

I eat ice cream almost daily. I never feel guilty about that. Ever.

I enjoy time with my DH doing things we love doing. Cycling, hiking, just walking.

I do not spend time with people who don't bring me joy. I no longer feel obligated to do so.

Like @tyty333 I treat myself kindly and with respect just as I would treat a friend. It is important not to be too critical of oneself. Do the best you can and be kind to yourself.

My DH and I also spend lots of time each day talking with each other/communicating and being heard.
That goes a long way to feeling loved. Not just saying I love you but showing it too in a million different ways. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[icy_jade]

Stay away from toxic people, including/especially close relatives that are extremely damaging

 

[Austina]

I removed people who were sucking the life out of me.

I get my hair cut and coloured every 5 weeks, and have a weekly blow dry and occasionally get my nails done.

Vain as it sounds, I wear make up every day because it makes me feel ‘put together’.

 

[123ducklings]

Big picture I agree with @kenny — do the work/get support to grow toward greater self understanding and greater self acceptance. (Not to imply you don’t understand or accept yourself already!)

In terms of daily life — figure out how I “recharge” and prioritize time for that. My children are young, so especially during the pandemic I am “on” 24/7/365 without much of a break. I take 45 mins to an hour each night after they go to sleep to either go for a walk, read, pursue something creative, phone a friend, etc. No obligations or chores, just my time to decompress and recharge.

 

[bling_dream19]

I'm working on this and thank you for starting this thread. I used to take such excellent care of myself and knew what I needed to do to be me. Somewhere I lost that in my 20s and I'm finding it again now. It's new but I'm getting there. For me, it's time to daydream, piddle around the house, massages, walks, enjoying the ocean, conversation with friends and family, skin care masks, reading, and living life at a slower pace. Simplifying my life is helping too. Oh and jewelry helps too!

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have 15-20 minutes of quiet time (drink my coffee, read my bible, pray) first thing every morning before I fire up my laptop for work. I exercise (just walk the dog, light weights, abs) daily, and walk/hike with friends 2-3X a week. At exactly 5pm, we open a bottle of red wine and dh and I finish a bottle a day

 

[nala]

Is it wrong that I am always my priority? I guess it’s easy to say that now that my only child is an adult (and has been for quite some time).
When it comes to work—I teach at 100 percent but do not take on extra activities if doing so will affect my quality of life. I am an expert at protecting the balance between work and freedom.
When it comes to family obligations such as my elderly parent, I am fortunate that I have 6 siblings and I have fought tooth and nail for a shared load! It took some time for it to sink in to them, but we now share the responsibilities and yes, I had to lead that charge.
I genuinely enjoy my hubby’s company so when it comes to marriage, there is no need to differentiate between self and couple-love and care.
So my best advice—plan for a quality of life that you want and protect it.

 

[Calliecake]

So my best advice—plan for a quality of life that you want and protect it.

Wise words Nala!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I had the joy of getting together with another PS’er today for coffee and jewelry show and tell. My younger son didn’t want me to leave this morning, but I told him that I would be back and that I need to do things I find fun sometimes.

Another example of taking care of yourself, self-love…whatever you want to call it.

 

[MoxiRoxi]

For me it’s what I jokingly refer to as secret Saturdays . My husband works every Saturday and every Friday night, he asks me what I am doing the next day…. I always say, “it’s a secret“.

My reasoning is, I don’t owe anyone anything on Saturday’s. I may nap, watch TV shows my hubby doesn’t like, clean, mow the lawn, hike with my pup, arrange a puppy play date with her BFF etc.. I don’t cook, unless I feel like it, Im on no ones time but my own.

This is huge for me as the rest of my week I am on tight deadlines, in meetings, where most of my hours are owned by someone else.

it works for me….

 

[missy]

I removed people who were sucking the life out of me.

This too. Almost forgot because it's been a while, thankfully.
This is probably the best thing any of us can do for ourselves.
Remove the negative energy people.
The people who drain us with lies and gossip and talk behind our back and who talk negatively about others. Toxic "friends" who were never really friends at all.

So my best advice—plan for a quality of life that you want and protect it.

Amen.