How do you handle joint accounts?

[fieryred33143]

We decided to join our accounts because paying bills was just a lot easier that way. Both of our paychecks go into this one account and anything left over we stick into our joint savings. We have a separate savings account but those accounts don’t have much money in them (we pretty much just stayed with whatever we saved while separate and started fresh with our new account).

I’m wondering how to handle gifts. If I buy him a gift for let’s say Christmas out of our account, then I’ll feel like he paid for half of it

.

We typically buy gifts for the holidays from the both of us to our family but how do we handle gifts to each other? Should we just take money out of our checks and put it into a separate account?

 

[vslover]

We just pay for gifts for each other with CCs and then pay them off when the bill comes. We both know it''s not ok to look at CC statements, etc around holiday/bday times and it works for us.

 

[purrfectpear]

I always believed in the His, Mine, and Household accounts. Like you, it felt stupid to buy him a gift out of joint money. Plus, and this was important to me, I think it''s healthy to have some money that is strictly "yours" to spend, save, or whatever without having to discuss or ask for permission.

 

[vslover]

IT''s funny...online I see lots of people who claim to have some separate accounts, but IRL I don''t know any married couple who operates that way.

 

[neatfreak]

I would do a search on it...there have been a few really long threads on this topic in the past few months. I''ll see if I can find them for you!

 

[LuckyTexan]

What we ended up doing, because I am HORRIBLE with snooping to guess a gift... around the gift time, I give DH a wad of cash, and let him loose.

He never looks at our account online, as I am the one who pays all the bills, so he can''t see me shop for him.

All we have is OUR money... there is no longer a his and hers here... I think that''s something that takes time though!

 

[LuckyTexan]

Date: 8/27/2008 11:40:38 AM
Author: vslover
IT''s funny...online I see lots of people who claim to have some separate accounts, but IRL I don''t know any married couple who operates that way.

Same here... I''ve honestly never known a couple who doesn''t operate as a single united front with their money. My original answer should indicate my mind frame... My thought process went toward keeping the gifts secret... not keeping the money separate haha! Am I old? haha!

 

[krispi]

What you can do is set a spending limit that you both agree on for gifts. When it comes time to make the purchase, withdraw the cash from the bank and use it for the gift. That way the other won''t be able to look at the account and tell what they''re getting. True, the money is coming from the joint account, but the other person is taking the time and effort to pick out something special. To me, that''s more important than which account the money comes from. And since you''ll have already budgeted for it, the amount spent won''t be a surprise to either of you.

 

[BriBee]

I'm not married yet, just engaged, but ever since we've lived together we've had two joint accounts (one for savings and one for bills) and we've each maintained our own checking accounts. I've considered combining everything, but I'm not sure yet. I like the idea that we each have our own checking accounts which is money we can spend however we want without the other person having a say. But, it always seems like we're constantly transferring money back and forth between different accounts to cover "joint" expenses that one of us might have paid out of "separate" money. I'm thinking in the end it will just be easier to join everything. And as far as the gift giving thing...I feel like what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine etc.... It's the thought that goes into picking a gift, researching, going out to buy it, making it a surprise etc that makes the gift special, and I try not to dwell on the joint money meaning that a person paid for half of his/her gift.

ETA: Sometimes we will sit down and think of something we both really want like a new TV for the house or a vacation or something like that. In that case, we won't buy eachother gifts for Christmas, birthdays, anniversary or whatever because we've decided ahead of time that we want to go out and make a big purchase we both agreed upon and that takes the place of gifts to eachother.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 8/27/2008 12:39:24 PM
Author: krispi
What you can do is set a spending limit that you both agree on for gifts. When it comes time to make the purchase, withdraw the cash from the bank and use it for the gift. That way the other won''t be able to look at the account and tell what they''re getting. True, the money is coming from the joint account, but the other person is taking the time and effort to pick out something special. To me, that''s more important than which account the money comes from. And since you''ll have already budgeted for it, the amount spent won''t be a surprise to either of you.

Kind of puts a damper on the concept of a fabulous surprise. What if you decide the spending limit is $1K.

But in the back of his mind, hubby wants to buy you a Rolex, or Tiffany studs or something?

Where is he supposed to come up with $6K?

I''m not going to put any roadblocks in the way of outrageous gifting

 

[swingirl]

We have one account. A gift is not just who paid for it. It's the planning, shopping, researching, wrapping, time, etc. The cost of it is pretty insignificant.

I personally have never understood the whole separate accounts idea. Like one person makes more money so they get to keep more of their income for personal use whereas the other has to live on a budget? And what is the money in separate accounts used for? But that's just me.

I also "hear" about people doing this but I don't know anyone personally.

 

[musey]

I don't know if we'll always do it this way, but we have separate AND joint accounts.

I have my own which my money goes into, and he has his which his money goes into. We then deposit equal amounts into our joint account as needed.

It's arguable that this doesn't make sense if one partner makes significantly more than the other, but I like to keep my money separate so I never feel guilty over spending "our" money on something *I* want (like a new bag or shoes or something), which I have a tendency to do.


If you have fully joined accounts, it makes sense to purchase the gifts using a credit card (do you at least have separate CC's? If not just hope the other person doesn't check the activity online!!) then pay off with the joint account.

 

[vslover]

Date: 8/27/2008 12:47:13 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 8/27/2008 12:39:24 PM

Author: krispi

What you can do is set a spending limit that you both agree on for gifts. When it comes time to make the purchase, withdraw the cash from the bank and use it for the gift. That way the other won''t be able to look at the account and tell what they''re getting. True, the money is coming from the joint account, but the other person is taking the time and effort to pick out something special. To me, that''s more important than which account the money comes from. And since you''ll have already budgeted for it, the amount spent won''t be a surprise to either of you.

Kind of puts a damper on the concept of a fabulous surprise. What if you decide the spending limit is $1K.


But in the back of his mind, hubby wants to buy you a Rolex, or Tiffany studs or something?


Where is he supposed to come up with $6K?


I''m not going to put any roadblocks in the way of outrageous gifting

That''s why we use a CC for purchases and then just pay it back when the statement comes.

 

[fieryred33143]

Lots of options/things to think about.

We don''t normally go crazy with gifts. Throughout the year he will get me some flowers or I''ll pick up a magazine for him. No biggie. But for Christmas and birthdays we tend to go a little crazy with the gifts (another habit we have to put an end to). Anyway, this year won''t be a big deal as we have those separate accounts but we aren''t adding to it so I would imagine that at some point the money will be gone. Maybe we''ll talk about possibly just using our joint for the bills but that''ll be a hassle to. I like that our money goes into one account, I pay all the bills and then done. We''ll see.

 

[Dancing Fire]

wife and i always had separate accounts. she don''t touch mine and i don''t touch her''s. that way we don''t fight over money.

 

[vslover]

Date: 8/27/2008 1:11:11 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
wife and i always had separate accounts. she don't touch mine and i don't touch her's. that way we don't fight over money.

DH and I don't fight about money either...and we've never had a separate account.

 

[somethingshiny]

We''ve always had joint accounts and for us it''s the right choice. We always set a budget at holidays anyway so it''s no surprise when $100 is out of the account. We label it as "tba" and leave it at that until it''s time to reconcile our statements. I agree with whoever said about "keeping gifts secret" not the money.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 8/27/2008 1:17:37 PM
Author: vslover

Date: 8/27/2008 1:11:11 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
wife and i always had separate accounts. she don't touch mine and i don't touch her's. that way we don't fight over money.

DH and I don't fight about money either...and we've never had a separate account.

cuz you probably don't have any bad spending habits.

wife always been the saver and i'm always been the spender.

i can imagine if we had an join account

 

[Irishgrrrl]

DH and I have only two bank accounts: joint checking and joint savings. Also, all of our credit cards are jointly held. We really have completely combined all of our money, and it works great for us!

Both of our paychecks go into the joint checking account every week, and I pay whatever bills need paid that week and put a little into the joint savings account. Then, whatever is left over gets pulled out in cash and divided 50/50 between the two of us and that''s our spending money for the week.

As far as gifts are concerned: We usually have a say in our own gifts, because we both usually want very specific items that the other one knows next to nothing about. (He''s into fishing for example, and I have NO idea how to pick out good fishing stuff! LOL!) If we do want to surprise each other with gifts, we usually have ideas in the back of our mind as to what we want to get each other and approximately what the cost will be. So, we negotiate a spending limit based on that, take the money out in cash, and go shopping!

 

[jcarlylew]

the one of the few times i listened to my mom was on joint accounts. she said, no matter the reason why, always keep a seperate account.
we have it set up where right now, all the common bills go into one account, and then that account pays all the bills. then we have our own seperate accounts that take the rest of the money of our paychecks.

Now, when more of my bills (and his) are paid down, i am sure we will combine our incomes more, but for right now, this works. The only thing else we would change is going through the same bank.

As for you, i would suggest buying things at a store where you can get cashback. that way it would show up as the store that you got the cash back from, not the ATM or actual store of said present.


ETA - i don't think its a matter of "keeping secret money" or "having a say" in what the other spends money on. For us its becuase we have a decent amount of seperate bills that neither of us would want the other to pay (CC bils from college, car loans, insurance) becuase we both are not listed on those bills. Since we are both trying to build our credit, it helps by keeping thing seperate.

 

[appletini]

For the most part we keep our finances seperate and it works really for us, but then we also are very Type A personality so its better this way. His income is also quite a bit more than mine is, and if we had a joint account I would think wow I just got a huge raise and get carried away on shopping sprees.

my checking--I pay smaller bills like electricity, cable/phone/internet, my cell phone, water, and this is also free for me do with as i please shopping, manicures, dinner with friends, personal trainer, etc
my savings--this is a fixed amount each month via direct deposit, and I like to go on trips my girlfriends, etc so this is for my personal enjoyment or if i want to buy something awesome for him as a gift
household--I put a fixed amount into this account each month, and our wine club memberships and any expenses related to the house come out of this account...its primarily a joint savings money market account
his checking--his income, my portion of the mortage (which is proprotional to my income and direct deposit), insurance for car/house/jewelry, gasoline, groceries, going out to dinner together, dry cleaning
his savings--whatever he has left over

I do have a credit card that is billed to him b/c I usually do the grocery shopping and I have a debit card for his checking acct b/c occasionally he needs me to get $ for the housekeeper and he travels internationally so I am listed on his accounts just in case there is ever an emergency.

 

[Tuckins1]

Just put everything in the same account and pay for gifts out of it. It''s all the same in the end anyways... It''s the thought that counts in the gift giving, not who''s account paid for what.

 

[ladypirate]

Right now we have one joint checking account with an attached savings, but the eventual plan is to each have a personal checking account linked to the joint one. Everything we earn will go into the joint savings account and then we''ll each get sort of an "allowance" every month for personal spending, gifts, etc.

 

[Allison D.]

We each have joint checking and savings accounts, and we have a joint checking too. We both happened to use the same bank pre-relationship, so all we had to do was link them all together.

We each transfer $$ into the joint checking to cover household stuff, utilities, mortgage, etc.

Having each been quite independent prior to marrying, we each feel more comfortable indulging our little luxuries from our separate checking accounts. In reality, when it all comes down it to it, it''s all "our" money, and we both agree on this. That said, though, I feel better buying my umpteenth piece of jewelry from "my" money, and he feels better buying his umpteenth ''man-toys'' from his.

We have a joint savings that we use to fund specific projects; beyond that, we''re both serious savers, and we consider the sum of our savings accounts ''ours''.

The separation is a mind-clean thing, I guess....but it ain''t broke, so we aren''t fixing it.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 8/27/2008 8:22:35 PM
Author: Allison D.
We each have joint checking and savings accounts, and we have a joint checking too. We both happened to use the same bank pre-relationship, so all we had to do was link them all together.

We each transfer $$ into the joint checking to cover household stuff, utilities, mortgage, etc.

Having each been quite independent prior to marrying, we each feel more comfortable indulging our little luxuries from our separate checking accounts. In reality, when it all comes down it to it, it''s all ''our'' money, and we both agree on this. That said, though, I feel better buying my umpteenth piece of jewelry from ''my'' money, and he feels better buying his umpteenth ''man-toys'' from his.

We have a joint savings that we use to fund specific projects; beyond that, we''re both serious savers, and we consider the sum of our savings accounts ''ours''.

The separation is a mind-clean thing, I guess....but it ain''t broke, so we aren''t fixing it.

Our system works exactly like Allison''s. We contribute equally to joint accounts and have individual savings (plus a joint savings). We actually tried a few different ways of merging money and this is what worked best for us. My parents only have one account and it works for them, whereas D and I have promised each other that we will always have private personal accounts and it works for us.

To each his own! Er, her own?