HELP with proposal

[brian.hauth]

Sorry if I''m posting this to the wrong forum. I thought I''d post it to this one just to get more exposure because I''m really in need of some help!

I am planning to propose to my fiance either this Friday or Saturday. The situation: I just graduated college in December, moved 110 miles away from her for a job while we do the long distance thing for a year because she graduates college next December. I have to work until at least 3:30 or 4 pm on Friday. She is getting her hair highlighted on Friday at 1:30 pm. It is a 2 hour drive from my work to her apartment. We plan to celebrate Valentine''s day on Friday night. What can I do to surprise her? I want this to be a private, romantic proposal. I want to maybe make her supper with candles and champagne (she loves champagne) and music from a cd that I made for her on Valentine''s day 3 years ago when we first started dating. I''d like to surprise her somehow but have a hard time thinking it will work because she will be home by the time I get there and I don''t know how I''d get her to leave the apartment without her thinking something suspicious. I just need any ideas. What can I do during dinner or just after dinner to surprise her with the ring?? Please anybody have any ideas????? I''m really getting nervous and can''t think of any sure-fire plans to make it special for her. I just want it to be something we can remember for the rest of our lives and want it to be something she can tell her friends without being embarassed about my proposal to her!
Thanks for any and all help!!!

 

[anywho]

Wow, that''s a tough question, mainly because that''s something very personal between the 2 of you. I''ve done my share of researching for a stone on this forum, and I don''t have much experience with that, but I''ve thought long and hard about how to propose to my woman.

Whatever you do, my only suggestion is to make it personal. Don''t go with generic or contrived ideas about what a proper proposal should be like. In effect, I think you''re asking an impossible question. It completely depends on you, and her...but at the same time, I think a little bit of planning goes a long way. I wish you good luck, but honestly I think this is something you need to figure out for yourself.

 

[nclrgirl]

Hi! I don''t think you need to do anything huge and exciting. I know that most of my girlfriends are totally happy with the down on one knee proposal.

When my fiance proposed, it was very awkward, because I didn''t know what he was doing!! We were getting ready to go on a bike ride and he just did it. But I wouldn''t have it any other way, because it was sincere!

I''m not sure how much this helps, but my 2 cents...

 

[brian.hauth]

nclrgirl,

You''re right. I mean I want it to be romantic, and I think it will, just because it will be just the two of us and it will involve things or memories that are important to us. I''m still not exactly sure how I''m going to do it, but I''ll figure it out, and it will come from the bottom of my heart. It might not be this huge thought out plan where if one little thing goes wrong, it ruins the whole thing, but I''ll make it special.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I don''t really recommend this, but the mention of champagne reminded me that when my brother-in-law proposed to my SIL, it was on a New Years Eve. They were at a nice restaurant and she went to the restroom and he put the ring in her champagne!

I''m so glad she didn''t swallow it!

But I think a nice meal out or at home, some beautiful roses and nice music is a lovely setting to propose! Good Luck and come back and tell us about it!!!

 

[shimmer]

Date: 2/13/2008 11:35:15 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I don't really recommend this, but the mention of champagne reminded me that when my brother-in-law proposed to my SIL, it was on a New Years Eve. They were at a nice restaurant and she went to the restroom and he put the ring in her champagne!

I'm so glad she didn't swallow it!


But I think a nice meal out or at home, some beautiful roses and nice music is a lovely setting to propose! Good Luck and come back and tell us about it!!!

I agree, your 'plan' already sounds perfect! I think that is all you need to do! The music makes it personal, and make sure to have some candles. Just tell her you have a Valentines dinner planned and she needs to show up at her place at a certain time. I don't think she will be suspicious b/c you are already celebrating V-day, she'll just think its for that (I would at least).

It sounds soooooo sweet, I would love a proposal like the one you have planned. No reason to be nervous, it will be perfect just the way it is. All the best and congrats!

ETA: just saw you mentioned candles, so you are all set!

 

[brian.hauth]

Now the only thing is I don''t know how to get her to leave so I can set things up? Or should I just go about it normally and just let her be there while I get things ready? Then she won''t suspect that anything out of the ordinary is going on. Maybe I''ll just have her stay in her room for awhile? Haha who knows. I wish I had a longer return period for the ring... would have maybe allowed me a tiny bit longer for planning but that''s ok. I wanted to do it this weekend anyway and next weekend won''t work at all. Thanks for all the help!

How should I go about presenting the ring? Tie it to the champagne glass stem so she sees it after I pour her some champagne and present it to her then get down on one knee? Or pretend I dropped something and then get down on one knee?

 

[shimmer]

Date: 2/14/2008 12:03:36 AM
Author: brian.hauth


How should I go about presenting the ring? Tie it to the champagne glass stem so she sees it after I pour her some champagne and present it to her then get down on one knee? Or pretend I dropped something and then get down on one knee?

Just go with whatever feels the most natural and you are at ease doing. It wouldn''t matter to me, just as long as you get ''will you marry me'' (or some variation) in there

Seriously, some guys forget that part. Not pointing any fingers

I think presenting the ring in a nice box is kinda fun, you only get that chance once, even though its pretty traditional. Then she has something special to keep it in forever!

 

[JulieN]

Date: 2/14/2008 12:03:36 AM
Author: brian.hauth
Or pretend I dropped something and then get down on one knee?

I see getting down on one knee as a humble gesture of offering oneself. Pretending to drop something is cheesy. I think one should be comfortable doing such a gesture, and do it with grace and dignity, or not do it at all.

 

[door knob solitaire]

First of all she is not going to be embarrassed by anything you do from your heart. Sincerity she will recognize.

Having a man cook for you...is incredible all by itself... probably after it is all said and done that is what she will also tell you. All the stressing you are doing in coming up with an idea...may not be necessary.

You could send her out for some ingredient you forgot for the dinner and set up before she returns...but to me, you would have to propose right then...I like the idea of the suspense building through the evening ...while others will tell you it is best to get your proposal done so you can enjoy the evening and relax.

I played this scenario in my minds eye...

In normal non set up room...set the table of course with candle light...you can do that in front of her. Anyway you cook, you eat, ...after you have her come to you in the center of the room and you slow dance or embrace...and you say wait...wait a minute...grab her a chair and have her sit down ask her to put this blindfold on, turn on the music and have her remember the date...while you are describing some details...you take a handful of hidden rose petals and surround her with them, light some candles...all this time you are again reminiscing about the date and the music...once you have done the details you want...ask her to remove the blindfold...allow her to see the petals...while you explain what the colors represent ( explanation )....then you do as Julie suggested...with your whole heart ...you get down on knee while she watching center stage squared up to you...and propose.

Sorry that is all my minds eye is showing tonight...there may be another feature tomorrow. Will let you know!!

 

[3shebabes]

I really like door knob solitaire's advice that you can do much of it in front of her. Sending her out for anything may cause suspicion or awkwardness. Just start making dinner, set out candles & light them, pour her some champagne, all the while having nice light chatter (including complimenting her on her new highlights!) -- if she says things like, "What IS this?" ...just calmly say "This is our Valentine's Day..I'm just setting the mood..." -- then have a nice dinner.

At some point, start your romantic cd you made her years ago -- and once dinner is done, (or even in the middle of dinner if the mood hits and the "perfect" song comes on), pull her out of her seat for a slow dance (meanwhile, have the ring ready and maybe just in your pocket) - really enjoy that slow dance and as the song comes to a close, step back, slowly drop to your knee and offer her the ring with a simple "I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?"

Something like that, maybe? I think I'd love a proposal like that. Classic, sincere, simple, heartfelt and only minimally "staged".

Whatever you do, have fun, take it all in (so you'll always remember the details of how it felt) and best of luck!

 

[fingerscrossed]

I think 3shebabes has nailed it. It sounds like a lovely, sincere and romantic proposal. And you will always have the song you were dancing to to remind you of the moment.

 

[MissErin]

Date: 2/14/2008 12:03:36 AM
Author: brian.hauth
Now the only thing is I don''t know how to get her to leave so I can set things up? Or should I just go about it normally and just let her be there while I get things ready? Then she won''t suspect that anything out of the ordinary is going on. Maybe I''ll just have her stay in her room for awhile? Haha who knows. I wish I had a longer return period for the ring... would have maybe allowed me a tiny bit longer for planning but that''s ok. I wanted to do it this weekend anyway and next weekend won''t work at all. Thanks for all the help!

How should I go about presenting the ring? Tie it to the champagne glass stem so she sees it after I pour her some champagne and present it to her then get down on one knee? Or pretend I dropped something and then get down on one knee?

What about making an appointment for her to get a mani/pedi. That way she will be out of the house and you can just say your sending her for some pampering for V-Day.

 

[Raspberry]

This might be too late, but here''s a random idea that popped into my mind - it might work if you decide to go with simple. Would you want to burn a new copy of the Valentine CD, but add one more song to it? Lyrics that have something to do with spending the rest of your life with her. Surely she would notice the "new" song, and you could propose then?

 

[krispi]

Date: 2/14/2008 3:24:27 AM
Author: door knob solitaire

First of all she is not going to be embarrassed by anything you do from your heart. Sincerity she will recognize.

Having a man cook for you...is incredible all by itself... probably after it is all said and done that is what she will also tell you. All the stressing you are doing in coming up with an idea...may not be necessary.

You could send her out for some ingredient you forgot for the dinner and set up before she returns...but to me, you would have to propose right then...I like the idea of the suspense building through the evening ...while others will tell you it is best to get your proposal done so you can enjoy the evening and relax.

I played this scenario in my minds eye...

In normal non set up room...set the table of course with candle light...you can do that in front of her. Anyway you cook, you eat, ...after you have her come to you in the center of the room and you slow dance or embrace...and you say wait...wait a minute...grab her a chair and have her sit down ask her to put this blindfold on, turn on the music and have her remember the date...while you are describing some details...you take a handful of hidden rose petals and surround her with them, light some candles...all this time you are again reminiscing about the date and the music...once you have done the details you want...ask her to remove the blindfold...allow her to see the petals...while you explain what the colors represent ( explanation )....then you do as Julie suggested...with your whole heart ...you get down on knee while she watching center stage squared up to you...and propose.

Sorry that is all my minds eye is showing tonight...there may be another feature tomorrow. Will let you know!!

Wow, DKS! You are good! Do I need to give you my BF''s email address?...

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/14/2008 8:15:41 AM
Author: 3shebabes
I really like door knob solitaire''s advice that you can do much of it in front of her. Sending her out for anything may cause suspicion or awkwardness. Just start making dinner, set out candles & light them, pour her some champagne, all the while having nice light chatter (including complimenting her on her new highlights!) -- if she says things like, ''What IS this?'' ...just calmly say ''This is our Valentine''s Day..I''m just setting the mood...'' -- then have a nice dinner.

At some point, start your romantic cd you made her years ago -- and once dinner is done, (or even in the middle of dinner if the mood hits and the ''perfect'' song comes on), pull her out of her seat for a slow dance (meanwhile, have the ring ready and maybe just in your pocket) - really enjoy that slow dance and as the song comes to a close, step back, slowly drop to your knee and offer her the ring with a simple ''I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?''

Something like that, maybe? I think I''d love a proposal like that. Classic, sincere, simple, heartfelt and only minimally ''staged''.

Whatever you do, have fun, take it all in (so you''ll always remember the details of how it felt) and best of luck!

Oh I love this idea

 

[nclrgirl]

I love the dancing idea too! Or if you''re too nervous, you could put the ring in the box on a dessert plate and bring it out from the kitchen and get down on one knee.

 

[onvacation]

DKS, with all the proposal help you''ve giving these days, you should start a service or write a book! Something like "Dear Door Knobby", maybe...?

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/15/2008 3:19:59 PM
Author: onvacation
DKS, with all the proposal help you''ve giving these days, you should start a service or write a book! Something like ''Dear Door Knobby'', maybe...?

Hehe "Dear Knobby"

 

[door knob solitaire]

Oh good grief! That is funny.

It is more like dear NO KNOBBY...

Thanks your too....pretty good! I will check my calendar and see when I can fit it in.

 

[LegacyGirl]

You need to you can sure give "Dear Abby" a run for her money

 

[onvacation]

Yeah, and we can all be sure it won''t be mean advice, like Abby sometimes gives!

btw, I love your Who''s DKS thread - Keep it coming, we

to hear you "talk"!

(sorry for the thread jack, Brian! How''d it go? Did you propose???

)

 

[brian.hauth]

Hey everyone!

Just to let you all know I did it! I proposed on Friday night and it went very well! The ring looks so gorgeous on her. It looks huge on her finger. Bigger than I thought it''d look. I did the whole thing with candles, music, champagne, rose petals, etc. and it went good!! I''m so happy and I can''t wait to show you all pictures of the ring on her finger!!

 

[nclrgirl]

Congratulations!!!!

 

[door knob solitaire]

Yippee!

Great going!

We kept the thread alive hopeful of your return! Can''t wait for photos! So hows it feel from a mans perspective to be engaged...I mean from the engagee''s prospective...or were you the engageor? Well anxious for photos just the same!!

WOO HOO!