Haven
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2007
- Messages
- 13,166
Hi, Ladies,
I''m not a very active poster here, but I do lurk around a lot, and everyone has such great advice, so thank you!
Here''s my dilemma:
How long is too long to wait for BF to propose? How do you know the difference between a man who is just taking his sweet time (boy time, I think we call it!) and a man who just doesn''t want to be married, yet he doesn''t want to lose you, either? I love my man so much, I cannot imagine being without him, BUT I don''t want to bully him into marrying me, and I definitely don''t want to spend years in a relationship with a man who is ultimately going in a different direction.
Here''s our story:
BF and I have been together for three years, we do not live together, and we have discussed marriage and how important it is for both of us. Around the time we had been dating for two years, I told him that I was ready to move along, and we had one of those "are we both on the same page?" discussions. We discussed that we both wanted to be together, to get married, have kids, yadda yadda yadda. It seemed like we both wanted the same things.
Fast forward one year--we are STILL just dating, things are pretty much exactly the same as they were one year ago. While he is not averse to discussing our future, he generally responds with things like "of COURSE I want to be with you" and "of course we''re going to get married, honey, I love you" YET he is reluctant to discuss details such as when it is going to happen.
I''m pretty sure he has not done any ring shopping, so it seems that he has not made any concrete plans to propose any time soon. He knows exactly what kind of ring I want, as we''ve discussed this, and he also knows that it will take some time to have the ring made.
Here''s some other useful info:
- I''m 26, he''s 37 (never married, no kids)
- We are both financially stable, no money issues here at all.
- Our friends are all either married, newlyweds, or planning their weddings, so it isn''t like he''s surrounded by a bunch of bachelors anymore.
- I''m a teacher, so I have a very rigid schedule. He knows that if he does not propose this summer, we''ll likely have to wait for the summer of 2009 to get married so we can have at least a year-long engagement (in order to allow time for proper planning.)
- I love this man. I do not want to leave him, but I do not want to get "stuck" in a relationship that doesn''t work for me.
So, ladies, what do you think? How long is too long to spend in a relationship without getting a serious commitment? Is he just being a silly man, taking his sweet time? I know many of you have been with your men longer than me, so please--share some wisdom!
Thank you!
Haven
I''m not a very active poster here, but I do lurk around a lot, and everyone has such great advice, so thank you!
Here''s my dilemma:
How long is too long to wait for BF to propose? How do you know the difference between a man who is just taking his sweet time (boy time, I think we call it!) and a man who just doesn''t want to be married, yet he doesn''t want to lose you, either? I love my man so much, I cannot imagine being without him, BUT I don''t want to bully him into marrying me, and I definitely don''t want to spend years in a relationship with a man who is ultimately going in a different direction.
Here''s our story:
BF and I have been together for three years, we do not live together, and we have discussed marriage and how important it is for both of us. Around the time we had been dating for two years, I told him that I was ready to move along, and we had one of those "are we both on the same page?" discussions. We discussed that we both wanted to be together, to get married, have kids, yadda yadda yadda. It seemed like we both wanted the same things.
Fast forward one year--we are STILL just dating, things are pretty much exactly the same as they were one year ago. While he is not averse to discussing our future, he generally responds with things like "of COURSE I want to be with you" and "of course we''re going to get married, honey, I love you" YET he is reluctant to discuss details such as when it is going to happen.
I''m pretty sure he has not done any ring shopping, so it seems that he has not made any concrete plans to propose any time soon. He knows exactly what kind of ring I want, as we''ve discussed this, and he also knows that it will take some time to have the ring made.
Here''s some other useful info:
- I''m 26, he''s 37 (never married, no kids)
- We are both financially stable, no money issues here at all.
- Our friends are all either married, newlyweds, or planning their weddings, so it isn''t like he''s surrounded by a bunch of bachelors anymore.
- I''m a teacher, so I have a very rigid schedule. He knows that if he does not propose this summer, we''ll likely have to wait for the summer of 2009 to get married so we can have at least a year-long engagement (in order to allow time for proper planning.)
- I love this man. I do not want to leave him, but I do not want to get "stuck" in a relationship that doesn''t work for me.
So, ladies, what do you think? How long is too long to spend in a relationship without getting a serious commitment? Is he just being a silly man, taking his sweet time? I know many of you have been with your men longer than me, so please--share some wisdom!
Thank you!
Haven