allycat0303
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2004
- Messages
- 3,450
Hi Everyone,
I haven't been posting much on the forum, but I'm falling apart and need help.
I've been with my husband since I was 16 years old. We were married in 2009, about the fifth year of marriage. A few months ago, in October, there was an incident that damaged our relationship (email correspondence with a woman). I found the emails, we generally have an open policy about emails. We used to have a linked account. It seemed to be a uniquely cyber thing, and he swore he stopped. I have been checking up on him. It was part of the agreement (I left the home for about 1 month). Things have been difficult, but no huge catastrophe.
About two weeks ago, he started asking me strange questions (out of character for him). I'm supposed to be leaving for fellowship in 1.5 years, previously, he wanted to go with me. Now he started saying, he didn't know (has a great job here), he didn't know where he saw himself in the future, etc. This is an equally confusing time for me.
Also a little background about the children situation. I'm 33 years old. I'm on the fence about children. There's a lot involved in that, I'm in residency and work about 120 hours a week, and he is not the most supportive husband (goes out 3 times a week to play hockey and goes to the gym everyday.). Two months ago, I went to get information on freezing on my eggs, and he refused to go through with it.
Last night, he found out he was seeing a psychologist, and didn't tell me...eventhough I've been and have asked him for counselling together. He refused, saying he didn't believe in. He says there are 2 paths, A) He leaves me and finds a girl to have children with B) He stays with me and has a luxurious lifestyle, but won't have children. When we got married, he said it would be ok that I didn't want children. That he would support me during all this residency. Then last year he was adamant that he did not want children. And now this.
I can't stop crying. I'm not functional. He went from being loving in the morning, writing sweet texts, and then came home at night, and said this. I'm at work, trying to see patients. I feel like I'm in a million pieces. I packed a suitcase, and left. But I don't know where to go and what to do.
Please please help, any advice would be appreciated.
I haven't been posting much on the forum, but I'm falling apart and need help.
I've been with my husband since I was 16 years old. We were married in 2009, about the fifth year of marriage. A few months ago, in October, there was an incident that damaged our relationship (email correspondence with a woman). I found the emails, we generally have an open policy about emails. We used to have a linked account. It seemed to be a uniquely cyber thing, and he swore he stopped. I have been checking up on him. It was part of the agreement (I left the home for about 1 month). Things have been difficult, but no huge catastrophe.
About two weeks ago, he started asking me strange questions (out of character for him). I'm supposed to be leaving for fellowship in 1.5 years, previously, he wanted to go with me. Now he started saying, he didn't know (has a great job here), he didn't know where he saw himself in the future, etc. This is an equally confusing time for me.
Also a little background about the children situation. I'm 33 years old. I'm on the fence about children. There's a lot involved in that, I'm in residency and work about 120 hours a week, and he is not the most supportive husband (goes out 3 times a week to play hockey and goes to the gym everyday.). Two months ago, I went to get information on freezing on my eggs, and he refused to go through with it.
Last night, he found out he was seeing a psychologist, and didn't tell me...eventhough I've been and have asked him for counselling together. He refused, saying he didn't believe in. He says there are 2 paths, A) He leaves me and finds a girl to have children with B) He stays with me and has a luxurious lifestyle, but won't have children. When we got married, he said it would be ok that I didn't want children. That he would support me during all this residency. Then last year he was adamant that he did not want children. And now this.
I can't stop crying. I'm not functional. He went from being loving in the morning, writing sweet texts, and then came home at night, and said this. I'm at work, trying to see patients. I feel like I'm in a million pieces. I packed a suitcase, and left. But I don't know where to go and what to do.
Please please help, any advice would be appreciated.