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Have you felt this way?

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I Love Carats

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
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31
Here''s the situation: 3 months until I move in (eeeekkkk!!!)

I''m not going to lie-I''ve talked A LOT about rings/diamonds with my BF. I kind of feel bad now because he really is all about doing everything on his own (without my help). I understand, but at the same time I want to make sure he doesn''t blow a bunch of money that he doesn''t need to. I may or may not bring up larger stones then I think he''s thinking which puts him in a weird place. I know that he is going to get the best stone that he can (at a reasonable price for us) but I think he''s also going to be a little hestitant (i.e. it''s going to be too small for her). This is totally not the case-but it''s hard for me to get him to understand that. I would never say, "take it back, I want something bigger." Whatever he gets will be perfect. Does anyone else feel this way? Like-you are stuck if you talk about it because you are afraid you are overshooting what you might get?
 

bubbly1126

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
969
Well in my situation, I have always made it VERY clear that the ring is NOT a big deal to me. FF, on the other hand, has ALWAYS had it in his head that I have to have a really nice ring. He says I deserve one which is fine and dandy but in all honesty, I don''t really need one. I think I''ve told him enough times that he''s finally understood that whatever I do receive, I will LOVE. I''m 99.9% sure I am not getting a traditional ring or even a ring at all b/c it''s just not in the budget right now and I am 100% okay with that.

In the end, your BF will get you what he feels is the perfect ring for you. You can tell him til you''re blue in the face that size and all that doesn''t matter, he''s going to do what he sees fit. And that''s fine. You''ve told him how feel, now it''s time to have some faith in him.
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Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
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1,675
I understand. I work in diamonds, and my first engagement ring was a 1.52 carat radiant.

I had no say in my engagement ring this time, and it''s got a .61 carat OEC for a center stone...it was his mother''s ring, and even though it is smaller than what I would choose for myself, I love it. It''s very practical for my lifestyle, and we didn''t spend a fortune on it.
 

IloveAsschers13

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
896
If you are afraid he is going to blow a bunch of money on a ring, then direct him where to go. My BF knows I want an old cut and I have directed him to a couple websites that he can get the best quality ones. I am sure he won''t tell you not to help him with something that little- as long as he picks out the stone...

Why don''t you just say to him directly, "I will love ANY ring you get me because it''s from YOU!" and he will listen, or at least then you have said what you mean to say.

In my case, I tell him I want a certain size stone, but I do let him know that if it''s not in the budget, I will like whatever he gets me because it will be from him!
 

D&T

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
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12,502
at least direct him to Pricescope
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first...
 

b.anna

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 4, 2009
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205
Date: 5/25/2009 9:05:49 PM
Author: inhisarms17
Well in my situation, I have always made it VERY clear that the ring is NOT a big deal to me. FF, on the other hand, has ALWAYS had it in his head that I have to have a really nice ring. He says I deserve one which is fine and dandy but in all honesty, I don''t really need one. I think I''ve told him enough times that he''s finally understood that whatever I do receive, I will LOVE. I''m 99.9% sure I am not getting a traditional ring or even a ring at all b/c it''s just not in the budget right now and I am 100% okay with that.


In the end, your BF will get you what he feels is the perfect ring for you. You can tell him til you''re blue in the face that size and all that doesn''t matter, he''s going to do what he sees fit. And that''s fine. You''ve told him how feel, now it''s time to have some faith in him.
9.gif

this is like the entire opposite for me. i hold a high value on the ring, not because it''s a piece of jewelry, but because it''s a beauitful symbol of what our relationship and future will be. i''m not superficial or anything (it''d be unbelieveable easy for me to get a ring myself and tell him he got it for me). the thing is that FF is not into any sort of shopping whatsoever. he is very low maintenance and his parents didn''t get wedding rings and his mother didn''t wear an ER, so he didn''t grow up in the culture of engagement rings.

so when FF and i were talking about engagement rings, we were very clear that we should meet in the middle of what i liked and what he could afford (and what he was comfortable spending). it was a little hard because he''s not into diamonds and i was like 1ct or over! but after a long time it worked out great because we both know i am getting a beautiful ring and he is totally ok with the price, etc. i am getting a beautiful 0.91ct diamond that is just under a carat in diameter, so it worked out.

so what i''m saying is that, definitely don''t be afraid to help him out :) unless he likes to be in control of things, i don''t think it''d hurt to do some research yourself and offer him some suggestions. let him keep his options open, so that it''ll still be a surprise, but you''ll also be sure taht you''ll be getting something you love, and he won''t have to guess what your expectations are :) hope that helps! and congrats on the future engagement!
 
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