Have you ever suffered from buyers guilt?

[Made in London]

Ah yes.
Story I’ve mentioned before.
Decades ago now my bestest girlfriend and I had plans for a big overseas trip after graduating high school / before starting Uni.
I had been saving birthday money, Christmas money and money from my part time jobs for years to fund this holiday.
unfortunately at the beginning of our final school year we had a huge falling out (over a boy as teenage girls are apt to do) and the trip was cancelled. I wasn’t brave enough to go solo.
After graduation I went into the City to do some Christmas shopping and walking past a fancy Jewellers saw a sapphire ring in the window.
I went in and on a whim bought it. Virtually all my savings $3,300.
By the time I go home I felt ill, what have I done, and was too scared to tell or show my parents so I put it in my sock drawer and there it stayed for a few months.
Eventually I got up the courage to show my mother. She went ballistic to put it mildly. Even more so when she realised I’d had it for months and now it couldn’t be returned.
To this day, some 40 years later, my mother will still get agitated if the ring is seen or mentioned. Because of my guilt, I barely wore the ring. Many a dozen times in total over 40 years and not at all the past 20 years. It’s too small for me now.
Here she is....

I love that ring! Why don't you have it re-sized & wear it?

 

[Mrs_Strizzle]

I don't think I can say it's truly GUILT, but right after I got my OEC last year I felt weirdly embarrassed. I guess partly because it's the biggest diamond of everyone in my "real life" as well as it just kinda snowballed similar to what @Big Fat Facets said. But also similar is that Mr. Strizzle was very supportive and is quite proud of it. He did say he should be good now for a long while with having to buy gifts, which is absolutely true. I did wait a year to buy my new spinel ring, which was a lifetime to me after collecting for about 16 years.

I feel zero guilt and zero embarrassment after having worn it for a year now and realize DSS is true because it doesn't feel big anymore until someone flips out about it (usually a distant cousin or something).

 

[HollyJane]

I clearly overdid it this year. Not financially - I never spend more than I can afford. And at the end it’s my money I work for. But it was loads. And yes, I feel a little guilty because in retrospective I should not have bought it all. A defined bling budget sounds good. I‘ll do that in the future. For me it‘s mainly jewellery. At least I don’t have the same urge to purchase when it comes to handbags and such.

That's kind of me and where I'm coming from.

I've made some financial moves since my husband and father died a year ago. Some of the moves my late husband would have approved of, and some - like the jewelry and the new equine - he would not.

Sometimes I do think - wow, that's money I could have put towards my house build. But, in the end - it was part of me making moves to form a life for myself without my family. I'm just doing what I need to do to make a life.

That being said, I'm pretty much done with my purchases. I'm happy with my collection and my animal family. The focus is now on getting my house built, working on my health and fitness, that kind of thing.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I don’t feel guilt because I’ve been very disciplined with my buying process - I don’t make impulse purchases, and I save for my indulgences on the side, so the income that goes into that is truly discretionary. I feel like if my needs, my savings, my eventual retirement and my lifestyle are all on track; plus the extra that we save for entertainment/vacations/celebrations etc is also on track; and this money is just mine to play with as I like - I’ll play with it as I like! I’ve only ever broken the “impulse rule” if something is a really amazing screaming good “you’ll get back what you paid and/or more if you sell it” kind of deal (which are few and far between, and I’ve never sold any jewelry).

 

[GliderPoss]

I used to have it a lot! When we were younger and significantly poorer I've been known to return items out of guilt even though I needed or deserved them out of fear of "spending too much".
My (ex) DH felt no such regard and spent "our money" recklessly which only increased my anxiety. Now I'm single and controlling my own money I feel no guilt as I know exactly how much I can or cannot spend.

 

[missy]

I have to credit my DH for absolving me of any guilt I used to feel over purchases.

When he finished graduate school after was a poor student for many years he just wanted to get to a point where he could spend money and not even think about it or worry about spending it. He wanted to enjoy the fruits of his labor with joy. And his philosophy rubbed off on me though we sort of met halfway.

I was a big saver and he was a big spender when we met (I had already bought my first apartment and paid off the mortgage in my twenties and that really impressed him) and I think we each gave to the other our best qualities and merged them to where we are today if that makes sense. He made it OK for me to buy expensive things for myself without feeling guilty and I made him more into a saver and it just works.


As long as one is smart about making sure they have enough money for expenses and savings for retirement one should be able to spend and enjoy their purchases guilt free. You work hard for your money and you are smart about spending it so enjoy it without the guilt. Life is too short for that.

 

[bqueen2kt]

I have to credit my DH for absolving me of any guilt I used to feel over purchases.

When he finished graduate school after was a poor student for many years he just wanted to get to a point where he could spend money and not even think about it or worry about spending it. He wanted to enjoy the fruits of his labor with joy. And his philosophy rubbed off on me though we sort of met halfway.

I was a big saver and he was a big spender when we met (I had already bought my first apartment and paid off the mortgage in my twenties and that really impressed him) and I think we each gave to the other our best qualities and merged them to where we are today if that makes sense. He made it OK for me to buy expensive things for myself without feeling guilty and I made him more into a saver and it just works.


As long as one is smart about making sure they have enough money for expenses and savings for retirement one should be able to spend and enjoy their purchases guilt free. You work hard for your money and you are smart about spending it so enjoy it without the guilt. Life is too short for that.

 

[bqueen2kt]

Amen

 

[MamaBear]

Yes, but I don’t allow it to last long. My DH is wonderful at encouraging me to enjoy the larger purchases. We don’t have debt, we max out retirement savings, and have a mutual agreement on our financial goals. This puts us in a good position to splurge on occasion!