Have you ever been the object of inappropriate comments by a man?

[Harriet]

How did you respond?

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Yes. It was a client and I think he was looking for a date or something. I politely declined and then told my boss after the creep left. I think the boss had a talk with him about what was appropriate and what''s not. Once I had a client try to sneak cell-phone pictures of me while I was working. I told him to delete them immediately or he would be fired.

Jess

 

[Harriet]

Good for you!

 

[Skippy123]

Did it happen to you? I am sorry if it did.

I have had that happen; I change the subject and they usually get the hint.

 

[Harriet]

Yeah. A number of innuendoes from someone I''d just met.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:14:44 PM
Author: Harriet
Yeah. A number of innuendoes from someone I'd just met.

What did you do? I hope he stops. Gosh, that is awful!

 

[musey]

I always just ignore it. Boys will be boys, I''m afraid

 

[Harriet]

I ignored his insinuations. I took what he said literally and answered accordingly.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:21:10 PM
Author: musey
I always just ignore it. Boys will be boys, I''m afraid

''Fraid so.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:22:38 PM
Author: Harriet
I ignored his insinuations. I took what he said literally and answered accordingly.

Good, hopefully he gets the hint. If he doesn''t tell him he is being inappropriate.

 

[Harleigh]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:22:38 PM
Author: Harriet
I ignored his insinuations. I took what he said literally and answered accordingly.

I like to just play dumb and redirect the conversation, pretending that they really DID NOT just go there!

I have had a dad at my school that has barking up my tree for the past three years...he is sweet as can be, but I wasn''t interested, even when I was single. I finally had to mention that I didn''t think my FI (BF at the time) would appreciate his overtures...he hasn''t been back since! I felt bad as he was always so nice, but I only ever discussed his children with him, neither of which had ever been in my class! I''m hoping he gets a good look at my new rock when school lets back in...

 

[monarch64]

Yep...actually it used to happen to me pretty frequently when I was working in retail. I always hit ''em with the boredom/baroque response, meaning I would just steer the conversation back to the merchandise and ignore the comments while maintaining a professional demeanor. Nothing was ever said to me that offended me enough to get an attitude and lose my job over it, usually they were random male customers looking for a little thrill or just trying to work their (sad and pathetic) magic manly charms. LOL! Oh, one time I did have a male customer really invade my personal space (he pretty much situated his body against mine, completely inappropriate and made me obviously very uncomfortable), and I just moved away and told him not to do that again or I would have to call for security. He laughed it off and followed me around a bit more before he finally got the hint that I wasn''t going to play his game.

Once I had a loss prevention guy catch me trying on a pendant when I worked in a jewelry dept. of a well known department store. I happened to be by myself while the other gal was on her break and he came up to me and asked me "are you going to wear that in your cleavage?" Blech. I think I was about 19 then and I was flabbergasted that a man would say that to me, I turned red and I couldn''t think of anything to say. It was a summer job and I knew I was headed back to school in a couple months so I never did report him, but I later found out he had gotten fired for sexually harrassing another woman. He was looking up her skirt when she was on a ladder changing some signing in her department. Thankfully she was smart enough to report him and he was let go.

 

[KimberlyH]

More times than I care to count (I was a bartender for a stint, which contributed to the tally). I have thick skin so it has never bothered me. Typically, I would come back with some flip remark and that would be the end of it.

The worst instance when I wasn''t tending bar, just hanging out at a bar with some people. Two men, who were friends, attemped to convince me to go get a hotel room with them. They were quite explicit and I was quite shocked. I left quickly so as to ensure that nothing bad happened.

It''s been some time since I''ve had anyone say anything inappropriate to me.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:28:36 PM
Author: Harleigh

Date: 7/23/2007 10:22:38 PM
Author: Harriet
I ignored his insinuations. I took what he said literally and answered accordingly.

I like to just play dumb and redirect the conversation, pretending that they really DID NOT just go there!

I have had a dad at my school that has barking up my tree for the past three years...he is sweet as can be, but I wasn''t interested, even when I was single. I finally had to mention that I didn''t think my FI (BF at the time) would appreciate his overtures...he hasn''t been back since! I felt bad as he was always so nice, but I only ever discussed his children with him, neither of which had ever been in my class! I''m hoping he gets a good look at my new rock when school lets back in...

Oh, he noticed my ring.

 

[Skippy123]

I don't think erings stop remarks. I received lots of inappropriate remarks w/my ering. You just need to be firm and let them know you do not like their remarks.

 

[diamondfan]

There have been many times, and it really depends on my mood. I have been silent and gotten out of there, I have acted dumb like I did not get his point, I have just deflected...as in, a man once said to me, "Oh, here is my number, call me when you are in the area, I would love to take you out to do X." I say, "Oh, great, my husband and I love to do that!" End of conversation. But really, it depends on my mood, since I am not typically confrontational but still will open my mouth when need be. If I really feel uncomfortable and it is someone I might keep seeing, I would set things straight for sure.

 

[oshinbreez]

Quite a few times. I usually look them head to toe then back up and tell them they don''t have anything I''d be interested in.

 

[Regular Guy]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:41:28 PM
Author: oshinbreez
Quite a few times. I usually look them head to toe then back up and tell them they don't have anything I'd be interested in.

At a girl. How'd that work?

While selling textbooks, I had a make professor interested in me.

Now I'm a guy.

But, I get the idea of how it goes. We kept things professional, but I never got in his face. Also, I got the order.

it was odd, and made for stories.

Sorry, this is only maybe slightly relevant.

You can return to your places.

 

[oshinbreez]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:48:57 PM
Author: Regular Guy

Date: 7/23/2007 10:41:28 PM

Author: oshinbreez

Quite a few times. I usually look them head to toe then back up and tell them they don''t have anything I''d be interested in.

At a girl. How''d that work?


While selling textbooks, I had a make professor interested in me.


Now I''m a guy.


But, I get the idea of how it goes. We kept things professional, but I never got in his face. Also, I got the order.


it was odd, and made for stories.


Sorry, this is only maybe slightly relevant.


You can return to your places.

Usually works great. Especially when I have a little laugh and give them the "look" that I''m not impressed.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:39:54 PM
Author: Skippy123
I don''t think erings stop remarks. I received lots of inappropriate remarks w/my ering. You just need to be firm and let them know you do not like their remarks.

That''s because you are Pretty Skippy!

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:41:03 PM
Author: diamondfan
There have been many times, and it really depends on my mood. I have been silent and gotten out of there, I have acted dumb like I did not get his point, I have just deflected...as in, a man once said to me, ''Oh, here is my number, call me when you are in the area, I would love to take you out to do X.'' I say, ''Oh, great, my husband and I love to do that!'' End of conversation. But really, it depends on my mood, since I am not typically confrontational but still will open my mouth when need be. If I really feel uncomfortable and it is someone I might keep seeing, I would set things straight for sure.

Will do.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/23/2007 10:41:28 PM
Author: oshinbreez
Quite a few times. I usually look them head to toe then back up and tell them they don''t have anything I''d be interested in.

Good one!

 

[Linda W]

Yes, more than once this has happened to me, while married too. I have a neighbor, who has been making advances to me for a few years now. I always tell him I am not interested and I will tell his wife if he does not stop pestering me. I also told my DH about his comments.

 

[Harriet]

To digress a little:
I was looking at coloured stones. The dealer showed me a number and I said "No, I like them big!" Oops! Foot-in-mouth.

 

[Linda W]

EWWWWWWWWww is right Harriet, he is a sleez bag

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes I have. Usually I ignore it. Or give them my death glare. That seems to work best!! When they make inappropriate comments, they are really messing with the wrong person in my case.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/23/2007 11:09:20 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Yes I have. Usually I ignore it. Or give them my death glare. That seems to work best!! When they make inappropriate comments, they are really messing with the wrong person in my case.

Good idea! I have a mean one myself.

 

[diamondfan]

I also do not think that a ring stops anyone if they are intent upon making a comment. Not sure it is a cluelessness or lack of respect. I just know if I would never see the person again, ignoring might be fine, but if it were someone in my sphere, I would nicely but firmly explain that I am not comfortable and it needs to stop immediately. Especially in a work situation, it is not tolerable at all.

 

[Miranda]

Oh yes! My reaction just depends on the situation. Sometimes I ignore it. Sometimes I give ''em a look up and down and then make a yucked out face. At a restaurant with some friends a strange man told me I was the most beautiful woman he''d ever seen. I guess that''s not a terribly inappropriate thing to say, but, as he was standing above me sitting in a chair he looked down my shirt. I just covered the exposed portion of my chest (which wasn''t much - really) and said, "Thank you. My husband and three children think so, too." If I''m getting hit on that is enough to shock them. I''m 32, but, could pass for 22 most days so the thought of me having 3 kids puzzles them for enough time for me to get away.

I haven''t ever really felt threatened, though. What happened Harriet? If you feel like sharing the story, that is.

 

[AmberWaves]

oh yeah. When I was in high school, I was leaning against a pole waiting for a friend to get out of her class. While i was waiting, a male teacher came by and asked if I work here often. Then asked if he gave me five dollars would I give him change. Not only am I a hooker, but apparently a cheap one? I was so flabbergasted by his statement I couldn''t say anything, I told a fellow teacher later, and I believe it was a strike against him. Another teacher, upon hearing I was a great teacher''s assistant for another teacher, said, "I heard you''re a good t&a, Amber! Feel like doing it for another class?" I told him that what he said was disgusting and uncalled for. He kept a wide berth for a while after that. Then again, my nickname amongst classmates and a few teachers was "knobs". Yeah, I hated high school.