hard decisions

[partgypsy]

Well I was going to be on a jewelry fast until we paid off our car, but lo and behold right afterwards my hubby and I put in new replacement windows in our house, which will take approximatly 2 years to pay off (home equity). I really wanted these windows and have no regrets. But again it puts into perspective where we should be putting our money. We have an "agreement" that I can spend around 1K on jewelry a year, and he spends about half that on his pursuits. However, as we have been discussing budget, and also ways to spend less on groceries the jewelry thing came up. Basically he says he is willing to forgoe even the little amount he spends (or drastically reduce it) if I agree to forgoe the jewelry thing for a year. I have been actually good for me, with my anticipation I could get something either after the car is paid off or around Christmas (probably .5tcw whiteflash earrings). But if he is willing to tighten the belt I should really take advantage of this offer and it would be unfair if only he sacrificed and I didn''t

So what would you do? The agreement is to forgo extra "me" purchases for 1 year.

 

[lumpkin]

Maybe you could get some nice colored gemstones like amethyst or something like that. I have some absolutely gorgeous colored gemstone earrings that I treasure, and they were very reasonably priced. If you feel that is too much of a compromise and would not really satisfy you, you can always squirrel away money here and there. Forgo the drink while you''re out and put that money away or maybe if you have $50 budgeted for a specific purchase, if you can get it for less put the amount you saved away. It really does add up, and then you could stay within your budget, although you might not get the earrings by Christmas.

If your hubby is sacrificing his persuits I would consider whether or not those are true passions for him or something he really is not that attached to. If he really is making a supreme saccrifice it really would not be fair for you to go ahead and get the earrings, unless you are comfortable letting him have something next year and saccrificing any jewelry purchase so he can "have a turn."

 

[partgypsy]

Thanks Lumpkin for replying. Yes he is genuinely offering a sacrifice. He spends very little on himself as it is, and this money would be from him not buying comic books or musical equipment (he plays in 2 bands). I am actually touched he would offer this, as the replacement windows was my obsession. What he means by jewelry is all jewelry and gemstone purchases. For me it actually might be easier just to go cold turkey for a year, rather than looking and cheating. One way I "cheat" is that I buy jewelry and gemstones as gifts for people, so we need to talk if that is included.
Right now I feel comfortable agreeing to this, but not sure how I''ll feel when the long boring nights of winter creep in, or Christmas time. We are allowing that we will still be able to buy things like, say clothes as we need for work.

 

[lumpkin]

Oh, well, there you have your answer. I wish it were the answer you wanted!

Before we had kids my husband and I could buy just about anything, within reason, we really wanted. I didn''t have to start scrimping until I stopped working and had kids. It was a shock to say the least. I did without a lot of things for a long time and then, whoa Nellie! I started spending and it was hard to stop. Now I''m trying to budget in those things like make up or clothing so that I do get what I need and am not deprived, but even so I tend to go overboard now and again. And my husband always sacrifices what he wants. I have to push him to do for himself sometimes, and he''s glad he does, but he''s very inclined to save save save, unless it''s for the kids. He''s always willing to get something they need/want, and I''m having to put the breaks on that because he needs to make sure he''s taken care of.

 

[partgypsy]

Well, a years not so long...

 

[TravelingGal]

Since you''re asking what *I* would do, I''d say I''d sacrifice for a year. Saving money is important and I really have no issue with giving up a luxury thing for one year. It''s not that long. I would think that if I couldn''t agree to something like that, I''d have a problem.

Fortunately there is PS and I can easily sit here and drool over things to ease any jewelry shopping pain. I admit I don''t love jewelry as much as many here do, but I do believe in priorities, and luxury purchases when I should be saving money isn''t one of them. However, if I were passionate about jewelry, I can understand that it would be a different story. I have always thought it''s important to have passions!

 

[partgypsy]

"I would think that if I couldn''t agree to something like that, I''d have a problem."

I was thinking the same thing, that if I can''t do that for a year that''s pretty lame

!

 

[Independent Gal]

Definitely make the pact! A year is not so long and given the other expenses, it makes sense to wait.

Why not make yourself concentrate on rediscovering the joy of the pieces you already have? Squeeze as much pleasure out of them every day as you can.

 

[omieluv]

You never know, he may surprise you with something jewelry related for Christmas - kinda as a reward for being so good! I mean, I do not think he meant not buying Christmas gifts for you, right?!

 

[Sha]

I don''t see why this is something you shouldn''t be able/willing to do.

As someone said, it''s all about priorities. Jewellery isn''t a priority, i''ts a luxury. Besides, if you have been buying jewellery every year, you probably don''t "need" another piece.

I like jewellery as much as the next person (definitely not as much as most people on pricescope though) but I would never get so hung up on it that I couldn''t do without it for a year. I don''t think anybody should. There''s so many more important things in this world that that money could be allocated to.

 

[KimberlyH]

I would absolutely sign on the dotted line; I can''t think of a single reason not to.

 

[Stone Hunter]

I think it might be hard not to get ANY jewelry not even as a gift from him. That said I''m sure you can do it to help the budget. And I like TG''s idea of drooling over everything from PS instead of buying new.

So yes, I feel your pain but understand the budget issue.

 

[surfgirl]

Yeah, I've gotta agree with the other replies on this one. If you cant forgo a luxury for 12 months, there's probably bigger issues to deal with. It seems like a no brainer!

While we're on this topic I have to say that although I am passionate about fine jewelery, I have realistic limits and expectations, but I think hanging around here can put a weird spin on one's perspective. Some folks seem to never be satisfied with anything. They can get a huge rock and the next day/week they're on to yet another purchase. I personally dont get it but I do think it has a weird effect on others in terms of skewing reality, you know what I mean? I think it's healthy to enjoy and appreciate all the luxuries one has - we're beyond lucky when you look at the rest of the world. Anyway, you already know what you should do...And I think it's sweet and very responsible of your other half to suggest this. Saving money can never hurt.

 

[partgypsy]

I guess I shouldn''t ask the question if I don''t want to hear the answer!

Where''s the enabling when you need it

?

To answer someone else''s question yes it would also include christmas, birthday, anniversary, etc presents. We buy each other modest gifts or go out to eat for those, so for those occasions if I want something more than that I save up and I pick something that comes out of my jewelry budget. I have been restricting myself in that area for the past year already because of the pact for the car, so it will essentially mean 2 years of "droughtl". But jewelry is the icing on the cake. I have the cake, just not the icing.

Actually I have been so busy this summer haven''t really missed jewelry stuff, it''s more the holiday, anniversary times that I''m worried about. But I have been thinking of getting either a digital camera or an ipod, and since those are not jewelry, this may be the year I get one of those.

 

[Skippy123]

Hey Part Gypsy!

I understand how you feel, but as I get older I get more excited to see us saving for our future. If you think about your future benefit it helps. Hubby and I always tell each other "can you believe I put $xxx into my 401k or Roth IRA this year." It makes me feel good that we are looking out for our future for US. I think it may be hard at first but years to come you will be really proud and happy later that you actually were disciplined.

Best wishes and I know you can do it!!!!