Guess what BF got me for my Bday

[Erin]

A check.

I''m going on a weekend boat trip with nine other girls next Friday through Sunday. He said this would help offset my expenses.

I wasn''t expecting an engagement ring, but I wasn''t expecting a check either.

 

[PrincessLily2009]

It does seem rather impersonal. What has he done for past birthdays?

 

[janinegirly]

Ouch...is there anything else planned for your b''day or is that it? Well in a way he has been consistent throughout your relationship, and you''ve been ok with that. He seems like a caring guy, but his actions have made clear he will not be changing his style anytime soon.


happy b''day btw!

 

[Erin]

Uhm let''s see. Golf clubs, golf clothes, golf balls, 18 holes at a highly rated golf course, golf shoes, golf visor....

You know come to think of it, I do need a new bag

 

[purselover]

I can sort of see his logic it''s sweet he wants to help you pay for your trip, but I have to agree it''s a bit impersonal.

 

[Erin]

Well two Fridays ago he and I played at the UofI golf course in Urbana - that was fun. Last Friday he took me out for sushi - which he doesn''t care for, so that was sweet of him.

Don''t get me wrong. He gave me a lot of money and it''s nice to know I can go on this boat trip guilt free without worrying I should have spent that money on something else. It''s just... Okay I shouldn''t expect him to be like me. He''s not a shopper. He''s clueless about gifts. People have already asked me what he got me and I''ve been answering A Boat Trip because I don''t wanna say CASH.

 

[Indylady]

It may seem ''easy'' but I think its perfectly thoughtful and considerate. Its not like he just handed Starset princess a load of cash; he knew she were going on a trip and wanted her to have a good time on it without having to worry about money. I think that is really very kind and just as thoughtful as a physically wrapped box with a bow.

 

[janinegirly]

Well I think you''re right to feel sad about it..cash is kind of insulting, like something you give to a child or a mistress. I''m SURE this isn''t what he meant, but the whole point of presents is to show effort and thought.

This kind of reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where Jerry doesn''t want to lead Elaine on (since they''d just hooked up) so gives cash for her b''day (and of course she is mad). But a check isn''t really appropriate for a relationship of several years,etc.

I hope he pulls through and gives you something else! But then again, I hope he doesn''t say a big surprise is coming later and then come up empty handed!

PS If it makes you feel better my DH is also bad with presents--thinks I should just tell him what I want so he can get it, but that defeats the purpose!

 

[princesss]

How...ummm...practical?

I mean, it is sweet that you don''t have to worry now about the trip. That''s awesome. And there''s no real way to give you that ability to relax about it without a check. It''s just...a different way of doing the whole birthday gift thing.

 

[jcarlylew]

i with the camp that is was actually sweet, even *if* it seem impersonal. E gave me cash last year for my bday, which was perfect becuase he knew i wanted to get my hair done, and go shopping afterwards.

 

[NakedFinger]

I think we put to much emphasis on what a spouse/BF is supposed to give as presents for anniversaries, b-days, valentines day, etc. Roses for V-day, Jewelry for Anniversary, etc etc. It's what society places on us that makes us "disappointed" with things that stray from the "normal" expectations.

Truth is, he did put thought behind it. He had a reason for giving you a check. He didnt just hand you cash and say "get yourself something nice". Buying you some random materialistic present just because he is "supposed to" doesnt really make sense, especially when you could use the money for the trip. My dad takes my mom shopping all day for her b-day. Its essentially like handing her money, but he knows she loves it because she never spends money on herself, always the kids, so spending the day with him while spending cash is fun! And he isnt someone who isnt romantic (see my post in Newlywed Forum about celebrating dating anniversaries), its just something he knows my mom likes for her b-day.

I say enjoy your gift, there are plenty of men out there that dont give anything.

 

[Jessie702]

I agree with Naked Finger, BUT it does seem sort of impersonal to me. But thats just me, i dont expect C to spend a lot of money on me, but i do want a GIFT. NOT a check. I say take it and enjoy your weekend, but i dont think i would like it if it were me

 

[Erin]

The longer I look at this check the more I think about I won't have to worry about buying a new pair of sunglasses, fresh fruit, peach margarita mix, beer and ice, garbage bags, hand sanitizer, that cute swimsuit cover I saw, bloody mary mix, chips...

I like what Princess said, there's really no way to help me have a great time on my girls' trip without a check. Given his shopping skills, the

side of me is fading fast. It really is a thoughtful gift.

Wonder what he'd get me if I made a lot of money lol

 

[Mannequin]

It''s an unusual gift, but at least he remembered, right?

I think it''s a sweet gesture, really. He wants you to go and have a great time with the girls! Guys aren''t the best gift givers in general, but I think he was trying to help you go on this trip free of any financial worry.

 

[vip0802]

Date: 7/29/2009 1:13:14 PM
Author: equestrienne
It''s an unusual gift, but at least he remembered, right?

I think it''s a sweet gesture, really. He wants you to go and have a great time with the girls! Guys aren''t the best gift givers in general, but I think he was trying to help you go on this trip free of any financial worry.

agreed! hearing someone getting a check from their SO as a gift at first is like

, but in your case, i think it was sweet of him. to me, it''s like my BF taking me out on a mini-shopping spree for my b-day. the only difference is that your BF can''t physically be there with you to get you all the stuff you want.

btw, i hope you have a great trip and happy birthday!

 

[Nomsdeplume]

My boyfriend is also useless with gifts. It was nice of him to offset your expenses though.

 

[gwendolyn]

I think it was thoughtful and sweet, in an unorthodox sort of way. And useful! Much more useful than if he''d had considered giving you moolah only to say, "Nah, she''s my girlfriend, I have to buy her flowers and chocolate." I mean, those would''ve been lovely too, but not nearly as useful (and possibly not as pleasant) as the feeling of going on vacation guilt and worry-free.

 

[ProseCuter]

Date: 7/29/2009 11:36:40 AM
Author: NakedFinger
I think we put to much emphasis on what a spouse/BF is supposed to give as presents for anniversaries, b-days, valentines day, etc. Roses for V-day, Jewelry for Anniversary, etc etc. It''s what society places on us that makes us ''disappointed'' with things that stray from the ''normal'' expectations.

I agree! I have an ex who gave me all those expected gifts and more. I had a TON of jewelry he gave me over the years, yet he was manipulative, controlling and abusive. Things mean very little to me now.

My fiance isn''t a big gift-giver, and doesn''t have much right now (both of us have huge student loans from law school), so when my birthday was approaching I told him that all I really wanted from him was a card with something sweet written in it. He hasn''t had much relationship experience other than me, and had not given me anything written before, so he gave me a card (with romantic stuff written inside) which I will treasure forever.

Last Christmas, what I really wanted (and needed) was a teapot. I have a house full of stuff, and didn''t need more random things. My fiance went out and spent a lot of time trying to find the best teapot for me. I LOVE the one he picked out. Now, I''m sure a lot of people thought, "Something for the kitchen?!? That is not what you give your girlfriend." But it is what I needed and he found the best one for me.

If he knew that you were worried about the expense and that you really wanted to do the boating trip, I think it was thoughtful that he made that possible. Who cares what anything else thinks? As long as you appreciate the gift, that is what matters.

 

[swingirl]

I didn't read everyone's reply but I think it was thoughtful of him to give you something you want--money to spend on your trip, especially if he is not a shopper.

 

[katomm]

Um well, it depends on your situation I guess. Personally I''d find it odd and impersonal but maybe he doesn''t have any other clues as to what to get you.


I really, really hope you know these other girls!