Going to a May wedding that's "cocktail attire" -- what to wear?

[Beagles]

My husband's niece is getting married in May at an indoor/outdoor venue in her hometown that looks very nice (not a "destination" wedding locale). It will be a 4 p.m. ceremony with a cocktail hour and reception following.

We haven't been to a wedding or dressy party in 10 years and I truly have nothing to wear -- I don't even own a dress. I just want to fit in and not draw attention as overdressed or under dressed, IYKWIM.

Are nice slacks/pants/trousers and a nice silk blouse appropriate? I do have those. Or should I start looking online for a dress and if so, what style? I'm 60+ so slinky minis are not in the picture! Oh, and we have to drive 3.5 hours straight to the ceremony so whatever I wear needs to be comfortable.

Thanks!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

My sister had a cocktail wedding about 15 years ago
it was all very nice
we just wore regular formal attite
Have a wonderful time
Oh and be warm
My sister's wedding also in May but of course Autumn here, spring for you

Just go buy a petty top and wear long pants if that's what you would be comfortable in
i wore that to my sister's
and no one complained

Anything goes now
Lots of bling of course
and just have a great time

 

[seaurchin]

This thread made me wonder what it meant too. Below is a link I found. It sounds like it's between formal and casual, like "semi formal." A jacket and tie for men. For women, maybe what you'd wear for a fancy dinner out.

I'd probably spring for a (mid-length) dress if you can swing it, just for the extra confidence of feeling "correct" for sure. As they say, better overdressed than underdressed, when in doubt. That said, I also doubt it would raise any eyebrows if you showed up in dress shoes, nice slacks, a silk blouse and accessories/jewelry.

I was a bit surprised because the term "cocktail attire" sounds more casual than that to me.

A Guide to Cocktail Attire for Men and Women

We're breaking down the basics of cocktail wedding attire with tips and etiquette advice from industry experts. Here, we share exactly what to wear if you're invited to a wedding with a cocktail attire dress code.

www.brides.com

 

[telephone89]

I think nice slacks and a blouse or a nice jumpsuit would be perfectly appropriate. You don't have to wear a dress just because you have a vagina.

I'll also add, that in my experience people put "cocktail" so as to evoke a slightly more formal vibe than jeans. Like telling people "its not black tie, but dont wear jeans" lol.

 

[nala]

I would suggest stopping at a rest stop to change into your cocktail attire—rather than making the 3 hour commute in it. Can’t go wrong with a little black dress. Accessorize with jewelry and you’ll fit right in.

 

[MamaBear]

My daughter is getting married in May. Indoor/outdoor estate, it’s beautiful. We requested cocktail attire on the invites, more or less to discourage jeans! Life is so casual anymore, I think people have forgotten how to dress. I think a midi length dress would be perfect for a guest of the wedding.

 

[dk168]

This thread made me wonder what it meant too. Below is a link I found. It sounds like it's between formal and casual, like "semi formal." A jacket and tie for men. For women, maybe what you'd wear for a fancy dinner out.

I'd probably spring for a (mid-length) dress if you can swing it, just for the extra confidence of feeling "correct" for sure. As they say, better overdressed than underdressed, when in doubt. That said, I also doubt it would raise any eyebrows if you showed up in dress shoes, nice slacks, a silk blouse and accessories/jewelry.

I was a bit surprised because the term "cocktail attire" sounds more casual than that to me.

A Guide to Cocktail Attire for Men and Women

We're breaking down the basics of cocktail wedding attire with tips and etiquette advice from industry experts. Here, we share exactly what to wear if you're invited to a wedding with a cocktail attire dress code.

www.brides.com

That's my understanding too, gent in smart suites/jackets with or without a tie, ladies in cocktail dresses as in short dresses, not long ones.

In this day and age, black trousers or skirt with some heels and a nice floaty top would do for ladies. That's what I have worn to weddings in the last few years.

DK

 

[Beagles]

My sister had a cocktail wedding about 15 years ago
it was all very nice
we just wore regular formal attite
Have a wonderful time
Oh and be warm
My sister's wedding also in May but of course Autumn here, spring for you

Just go buy a petty top and wear long pants if that's what you would be comfortable in
i wore that to my sister's
and no one complained

Anything goes now
Lots of bling of course
and just have a great time

Definitely some bling! It will be nice to have an occasion to wear some!

 

[Beagles]

This thread made me wonder what it meant too. Below is a link I found. It sounds like it's between formal and casual, like "semi formal." A jacket and tie for men. For women, maybe what you'd wear for a fancy dinner out.

I'd probably spring for a (mid-length) dress if you can swing it, just for the extra confidence of feeling "correct" for sure. As they say, better overdressed than underdressed, when in doubt. That said, I also doubt it would raise any eyebrows if you showed up in dress shoes, nice slacks, a silk blouse and accessories/jewelry.

I was a bit surprised because the term "cocktail attire" sounds more casual than that to me.

A Guide to Cocktail Attire for Men and Women

We're breaking down the basics of cocktail wedding attire with tips and etiquette advice from industry experts. Here, we share exactly what to wear if you're invited to a wedding with a cocktail attire dress code.

www.brides.com

I'm starting to think a dress might be more comfortable, particularly if it's a warm day. Maybe a midi that's kind of floaty?

 

[Beagles]

My daughter is getting married in May. Indoor/outdoor estate, it’s beautiful. We requested cocktail attire on the invites, more or less to discourage jeans! Life is so casual anymore, I think people have forgotten how to dress. I think a midi length dress would be perfect for a guest of the wedding.

Thank you! That's what I'm starting to think too. I am sure your daughter's wedding will be beautiful!

 

[Beagles]

I would suggest stopping at a rest stop to change into your cocktail attire—rather than making the 3 hour commute in it. Can’t go wrong with a little black dress. Accessorize with jewelry and you’ll fit right in.

Great idea about the rest stop!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Definitely some bling! It will be nice to have an occasion to wear some!

This event has been added to the PS diary and we do expect neck, ear and hand (including wrist) shots
if you could pull out a brooch I'd faint with happiness

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I can't get over people wearing jeans to a wedding

 

[Beagles]

This event has been added to the PS diary and we do expect neck, ear and hand (including wrist) shots
if you could pull out a brooch I'd faint with happiness

I will try my best to represent the best traditions of PS!!

 

[CMN]

Think evening attire, but less formal than black tie. I do think you are on the right track. Also, if your clothes are erring a bit on the causal side, bling it up and that will do the trick to elevate your outfit. I do suggest heels, even if only low ones, rather than flats for such an event.

 

[dk168]

I can't get over people wearing jeans to a wedding

Personally, I believe it is down to the happy couple to decide how they wish to celebrate. If they decide to go casual then so be it.

Nice jeans (not the slasher ones) looks good and smart with a shirt and tie, nice pair of shoes, and a blazer, IMHO, as seen on Tommy Lee Jones in the films the Fugitive and U.S. Marshals.

DK

 

[dk168]

I will try my best to represent the best traditions of PS!!

Definitely an occasion to bring out the blings!

DK

 

[Lookinagain]

I'd go for a mid length dress or a black skirt and a nice top. Personally, I wouldn't normally wear slacks to a wedding that rolls into the evening. That decision may be impacted by where you live as I think certain places and climates dictate either more casual or less. But when I think of "cocktail" I do think of a dress/skirt and not pants.
I'm in your age group and I'd probably wear something simple like this (just a quick internet search)

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/lauren-ralph-lauren-stretch-cotton-midi-dress?ID=12953487&CategoryID=83480

 

[jaysonsmom]

If you are set on pants, I would suggest a solid color jumpsuit that is not too fitted, in a rich jewel tone. I love jumpsuits, I think they flatter a lot of people, and they don’t feel too dressy (to me). I’m not a dress person, would wear jersey material stuff for comfort

 

[marymm]

If you're not up for buying a whole new outfit, personally I think you could go with dressy pants paired with silky top and lace shrug/cardigan -- the first two pics show black lace cardi with sheath dresses but the ivory lace open cardi is monochrome look with ivory pants and top -- maybe something like that (though not suggesting ivory or white monochrome)?

Regardless, I echo other posters' suggestion to drive in comfortable clothes and then switch to wedding outfit ... 3-1/2 hours is a long drive and the quick change right before you get to venue will allow you to arrive feeling and looking fresh and ready for a celebration.

 

[Gloria27]

Dress Code Guide: Black Tie, Cocktail, Smart Casual Explained

Your guide to getting the dress code right every time. From white tie to lounge suit, we explain the most common dress codes and show you what to wear.

www.marieclaire.com.au

 

[Beagles]

I'd go for a mid length dress or a black skirt and a nice top. Personally, I wouldn't normally wear slacks to a wedding that rolls into the evening. That decision may be impacted by where you live as I think certain places and climates dictate either more casual or less. But when I think of "cocktail" I do think of a dress/skirt and not pants.
I'm in your age group and I'd probably wear something simple like this (just a quick internet search)

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/lauren-ralph-lauren-stretch-cotton-midi-dress?ID=12953487&CategoryID=83480

That's a great looking dress -- wish it was available! I'm checking out Macy's online now for ideas. Thanks!

 

[Beagles]

If you're not up for buying a whole new outfit, personally I think you could go with dressy pants paired with silky top and lace shrug/cardigan -- the first two pics show black lace cardi with sheath dresses but the ivory lace open cardi is monochrome look with ivory pants and top -- maybe something like that (though not suggesting ivory or white monochrome)?

Regardless, I echo other posters' suggestion to drive in comfortable clothes and then switch to wedding outfit ... 3-1/2 hours is a long drive and the quick change right before you get to venue will allow you to arrive feeling and looking fresh and ready for a celebration.

I do like the lacy shrug/cardigan idea, either with pants and blouse or a dress! Thanks for the suggestion!

I am hoping our hotel will let us check in early or at least use their restrooms to change before we go to the venue.

 

[DAF]

LOVE that second jump

If you are set on pants, I would suggest a solid color jumpsuit that is not too fitted, in a rich jewel tone. I love jumpsuits, I think they flatter a lot of people, and they don’t feel too dressy (to me). I’m not a dress person, would wear jersey material stuff for comfort

suit.

 

[Lookinagain]

That's a great looking dress -- wish it was available! I'm checking out Macy's online now for ideas. Thanks!

I was recommending a style like that but I'm guessing other companies make similar styles so good luck!

 

[pinklemonadegurl]

May can be pretty "squishy" (here in Michigan, for sure!) so my suggestion is to NOT wear spiked heels as you may sink into the ground if it's moist/soft.

I have a wedding to attend in August in a barn Looking forward to it, but already wondering what to wear as well....

 

[Austina]

I personally wouldn’t wear trousers to any kind of dressy event, but that’s me, and I like to wear dresses.

Our best friend’s daughter got married a little while ago, and I wore a silk mid length dress, which had a matching wrap.

 

[MamaBee]

I personally wouldn’t wear trousers to any kind of dressy event, but that’s me, and I like to wear dresses.

Our best friend’s daughter got married a little while ago, and I wore a silk mid length dress, which had a matching wrap.

Very pretty dress @Austina!

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I like all the options given here!

It depends on social circle, I'd say. Here in old Europe it's pretty stuffy, so 95% of the people who've invited us go by the traditional wording (mark male attire and then ladies know what to wear... It's slightly sexist imho, just saying). Anyway, cocktail dress means a very specific thing here: shorter than full length dress OR pantsuit (but not too stiff/business like) OR jumpsuit. Appropriate for church if service in church : knees covered, shoulders covered, no low neckline. In case dress is to revealing: shrug/cardi/blazer Bolero.

Hat /fascinator /headpiece of any sort optional UNLESS the gent's attire is "morning suit" /cutaway.
For the may wedding I'll attend I bought this


Will accessorize with pointy nude heels

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I do like the lacy shrug/cardigan idea, either with pants and blouse or a dress! Thanks for the suggestion!

I am hoping our hotel will let us check in early or at least use their restrooms to change before we go to the venue.

How was the wedding ?