Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Thanks, K. I am feeling better!!! I had hubby move all those boxes and took a nice, warm, relaxing soak in the tub which really helped the achy hips and legs. We even went out last night with our cute little Peargirl and her BF, drank beer and played darts. Didn't get home until midnight!! I can't remember the last time I was actually out late partying?!

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

ATTN ALL OLD THREAD POSTERS:

There has been renewed discussion of creating a dedicated forum to post all of our Been There, Done That (BTDT) topics. I would like to hear, pro and con, what you think of such a forum?

 

[PinkTower]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

ATTN ALL OLD THREAD POSTERS:

There has been renewed discussion of creating a dedicated forum to post all of our Been There, Done That (BTDT) topics. I would like to hear, pro and con, what you think of such a forum?

I would support the idea by posting there. Many of us regular posters on this thread spend a considerable amount of money on jewelry every year. We are a highly targetable market; we don't just buy an engagement ring and move on to furniture. We deserve our own space here.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I've started a thread in the suggestion box asking admin to reconsider opening a new forum. If anyone is interested, or against the idea for that matter, please go over there and post. [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/dedicated-forum-for-been-there-done-that.152277/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/dedicated-forum-for-been-there-done-that.152277/[/URL]

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Ladies, I have found a cheaper solution for one of my issues

ROFLMAO. Seriously

 

[Steel]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I've started a thread in the suggestion box asking admin to reconsider opening a new forum. If anyone is interested, or against the idea for that matter, please go over there and post. [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/dedicated-forum-for-been-there-done-that.152277/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/dedicated-forum-for-been-there-done-that.152277/[/URL]

I supported that suggestion. I can't really relate on this thread but I recognise it is equally as important to have this area.
I lurk and am glad to be able to read more about your lives and always wish you well.

Well, except you Uppy - you are a meanie poo. Awh, no I can't stay mad at you, you are too darned cute...I wish you well too.
(edit)

 

[lyra]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Cons: all the preggos, new moms and TTC's will beat us up. I'd like them to have their own forum to be honest. Or take them off of PS altogether. Yeah, that's not a popular idea I know.

I don't think we'll ever get more than what we have. There are too many forums already, and admin hasn't responded before when we asked to get rid of Newlyweds which is dead. For that matter, why do LIW have their own forum? Oh right, it's because they *might* have the opportunity to make a big purchase from a vendor...

I'll be honest with you. There is only one vendor I would care to buy from at this point, and it is not a PS vendor. I do not like being associated with PS anymore, and that includes using it's pre-approved vendors.

I do support everyone in this thread, and would love to see you have your own forum.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Thanks Steal and Lyra. I'm afraid Lyra might be right though. Ella responded and prospects currently look dim. I'm not giving up on the fight though!!

Maybe if I start spamming FHH with threads about wiry hair growing around my nipples?

 

[colorluvr]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

ATTN ALL OLD THREAD POSTERS:

Ok, not meaning to sound dense (which apparently I am) is this all "OLD", as I am old so I qualify or is this "OLD THREAD POSTERS" as in you ladies who have been around PS for a long time, unlike newbies like me... Is this meant to be a "jewelry" forum as opposed to a "whatever is on our minds about getting older" forum like this one? Please clarify for me

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

OLD chronologically..... yep, it's you too Colorluvr

And it would be topics that relate in any way to those of us more "experienced" in life.

 

[Kaleigh]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I all for the BTDT new thread... Give it a go and see what the traffic is??

Had a great day with Hubby and the kids. So happy to have them home if for only one night. Went to a great party last night with old high school friends. Too much fun.

Spasms are frequent. The support group says welcome to the club you never wanted to be a part of. True that...

Will deal with Botox after the holidays, hoping that will help.

It's really a tough journey, but many have it worse than me.

Hoping everyone else is doing well..

Lisa

 

[colorluvr]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

OLD chronologically..... yep, it's you too Colorluvr

And it would be topics that relate in any way to those of us more "experienced" in life.

Thanks for the clarification. I just jumped over to that other thread and realized you are hoping for an actual forum, not just a thread - DUH, now I get it.

A Yes, yes, yes from me on a dedicated forum! I wanted to post something this morning, but it was kind of dreary, and I didn't want to drag down the mood of this thread, so I just skipped it, then I was tempted to talk about my DH being in DC right now preparing for a proposal presentation, that if his company is chosen, would completely change my life in about a year, but once again, it seems pretty minor next to everyone else's health issues, so I just kept mum. A forum with different subject threads would be wonderful.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I just wish Admin could see it that way. I really need to post something about my son, but like you, I don't want to detract from the really valid concerns here.

 

[packrat]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Since there is no separate forum now, what if you just start posting individual threads anyway? If there is a lot and starts to "overtake" everything, then that should mean there is a need for a BTDT forum, right? Regardless what forum it's in, I'd love to hear about your son Uppy!

 

[Matata]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Smack upside the head for colorlvr & uppy -- come on amigas, if it's an issue or concern to you, then that's reason enough to post. No one said this thread was confined to health issues and no issue, imho, is minor if it affects or concerns you/your life/your loved ones. I thought our intent here was to create a place where we felt comfortable posting about whatever so post away. In the spirit of our new "presence" we'll tell you (kindly) if you're being a whiny ninny.

Ok, that said, maybe I need to rethink this if Uppy wants to expand on her wirey nipple hair comment.

 

[PinkTower]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I just wish Admin could see it that way. I really need to post something about my son, but like you, I don't want to detract from the really valid concerns here.

Well, Uppy, I've got Crohn's and my husband had successful cancer surgery this year. But, let me tell you, nothing compares to the importance of my son and the related issues. So, post away. We want to hear it and help the best we can.

 

[Scorpioanne]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi everyone, I was wondering if those of you who are menopausal or perimenopausal have had this experience - I had my period last week (started on the 7th, finished on the 19th) and while I was bleeding I barely slept each night, I was about to fall apart when I finally finished my period and was able to sleep regularly again. Well, to my surprise it looks like my period is starting again today only one week later! Has this happened to any of you and should I be concerned? Last Monday I missed work dure to horrific cramps and am feeling crampy again .

 

[Matata]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I went through that too. I recommend first that you see your doctor for an exam to ensure you don't have something else (like polyps) affecting your periods. If it turns out you're dealing solely with peri or menopausal symptoms, it'll be easier for your doc to recommend ways of coping which will likely be a combo of diet, drugs, exercise.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

All right. I don't know how deep I really want to explore this issue because it really tears my heart apart.

Many of you know I have an amazing 18 year old son named Paul. Paul was born with Down syndrome. He is healty, happy, and one of the most amazing gifts I've ever been given. He has given me and my family the opportunity to really see life from a different perspective; to see the blessings in the littlest things. For example, when I get home with the groceries it is his job to unpack them and put them away. With each item he pulls out, it is like Christmas! "Ooooohhhhh...... butter!"

He is a junior in high school this year. That means one more year of school, and then I'm not sure what's going to happen. Although he is quite high functioning, his speech is very poor. It is difficult for him to get across whatever it is he is trying to say. I'm probably the best at understanding him but I only get about 50-60% of what he is saying. We've been working hard with the speech therapist in finding the best communication device possible to allow him to be able to effectively communicate with people in the community.

We've also always wanted him to be able to live somewhat independently of us, in a supervised living environment or something similar. However, there are still some significant life and self-help skills that he has not mastered. For example, he refuses to bathe or shower independently. He's always hated anything messing with his head or ears, so he absolutely HATES having his hair washed. Well, he's going to have to be able/willing to do that to live away from us.

But, am I really ready to let him go?? In a very selfish way, Paul is the ONE person on the earth who can sense my moods and feelings, and he knows when I need a hug or a good cuddle. He likes to crawl in bed with me and watch a movie when my fibro is bad. He makes me laugh and warms my heart like nothing/noone else can. However, we cannot leave him home alone for extended periods of time (more than 2-3 hours). That means that by the time his sister leaves for college (she's a junoir this year too), my husband and I will have no one able to stay with him that we know and trust. We cannot take vacations alone, visit museums, or participate in activities with lots of walking or waiting, because if Paul decides he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't do it!

This leaves me as his primary care giver. That means I can never go back to work full time, or take classes, or travel, or any of the other things that people look forward to when their children are grown. All of this has really been weighing heavily on me for the last six months or so. So much so that I am considering going back to my therapist to have someone to help me gain perspective.

Please, I'm not looking for sympathy or ideas. Believe me.... after 18 years, we know what social services are available and what options we have. It's just that I'm hoping it eases my mind and heart a bit to just get this out to where somone else can help me bear this. And I know with all the life experience shared here, who better to understand?

 

[colorluvr]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Smack upside the head for colorlvr & uppy -- come on amigas, if it's an issue or concern to you, then that's reason enough to post.

Ok, you asked for it... DH is part of a presentation tomorrow, that if his consulting group is chosen (it's down to the final three), we will be relocating to the Washington DC area (probably live in Virginia) in about a year. As I've mentioned before, we have moved about every two years due to his work, since we got together about 11 yrs. ago. In one way, this is just another move, BUT, it will be clear across the United States AND if things go according to plan, there will be more work there after this project. So what this means, is that this could be a semi-permanent move for us (say maybe 10 years).

My son, being single and planning on staying that way for the forseable future is very mobile, and a plane ticket (paid for by me of course) means he'd hop across the US for a visit whenever he got the urge, so I know I'd still see him occasionally, although up until now, I've never not been in the same state as him... as I said before, no grandkids and none likely in the future, and my mom's gone, so I'm not tied to the West Coast in that respect any more. I'd miss seeing my sister in person, but until my mom got really ill, my sis and I didn't "visit" all that much in person anyway, mostly just by phone.

I'm kind of excited in one way because it seems I reinvent myself and my life about every 10 years, so my time is due, BUT, in another way, I am scared to death. I just turned 59, so the next 10 or so years are probably going to be as good as it gets. We won't be entering a retirement lifestyle in my forseeable future because my DH is almost 15 years younger than me.

Now that is really good in all of the ways that a 44 year old man is really good -lol, but it also can be a big negative if you are 59. I'll be dust (or on my way to being dust) before he reaches retirement age and so I have to look at my future like a 45 yr old, but with the body of a 59 year old - EEK!

And I'm not just talking about the fact that I'm no hot babe anymore, (never was) but more the fact, that even though I'm in really good health for my age right now, who knows how long that will last??? AND, and I think this scares me more than any thing else, his company is talking (it's only hot air right now) about finding me a position on this new project. I don't even KNOW if I can do the kind of high energy/high stress work I was doing a few years ago.

SO.... I'm excited and I'm scared and if they don't get the job, then I'm back to square one, wondering where in the hell I'll be in a year....

Now aren't you sorry you ask.

 

[colorluvr]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Please, I'm not looking for sympathy or ideas. Believe me.... after 18 years, we know what social services are available and what options we have. It's just that I'm hoping it eases my mind and heart a bit to just get this out to where somone else can help me bear this. And I know with all the life experience shared here, who better to understand?

Good grief Uppy, you and I were posting at the same time and now my post seems so trivial...... THAT'S why I didn't post it earlier.

I don't know know a lot about what is available, but aren't there work/learn type programs that men and women can attend during the day as a first step toward independence? Is that a possible next step?

 

[Aoife]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi Uppy. It sounds like the classic thing that happens as special needs kids get into their teens. Many, many years ago I used to work with kids exactly like Paul, and several of my friends still do, in a few different states. From that I know the range of services that are available varies widely from state to state. I know you don't need ideas, but since your situation will be changing when your daughter heads off to college, is it possible that anywhere in your community there is a program that specifically targets skills that would be required for a successful transition to a group living situation? I know in some areas it is possible to have something like that included in an IEP. In the shorter term, is there any possibility for weekly short term respite care so that you and your husband could get out on your own?

Your son sounds like such a sweet blessing in your life, but there is no doubt that parents who have adolescents with special needs need a good support group. I hope you have one, or could find someone to advocate for additional services for you.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Please, I'm not looking for sympathy or ideas. Believe me.... after 18 years, we know what social services are available and what options we have. It's just that I'm hoping it eases my mind and heart a bit to just get this out to where somone else can help me bear this. And I know with all the life experience shared here, who better to understand?

Good grief Uppy, you and I were posting at the same time and now my post seems so trivial...... THAT'S why I didn't post it earlier.

I don't know know a lot about what is available, but aren't there work/learn type programs that men and women can attend during the day as a first step toward independence? Is that a possible next step?

Not at all!

But see? That's what I mean about really petitioning admin to open a forum for us!! Between your post, mine, and Scorpioanne's, there are three major situations that shouldn't have to be glommed all together. The difficulty focusing on even one conversation is hard enough without having to bypass other, just as significant posts.

 

[Matata]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

AND if things go according to plan, there will be more work there after this project. So what this means, is that this could be a semi-permanent move for us (say maybe 10 years).

I'm kind of excited in one way because it seems I reinvent myself and my life about every 10 years, so my time is due, BUT, in another way, I am scared to death. I just turned 59, so the next 10 or so years are probably going to be as good as it gets. We won't be entering a retirement lifestyle in my forseeable future because my DH is almost 15 years younger than me.

Carpe diem. You're going to be in an area what will offer unlimited professional, cultural, and social opportunities that will greatly enhance how you choose to spend the next decade.

I have to look at my future like a 45 yr old, but with the body of a 59 year old - EEK!

Nope. You can plan for your retirement and do it when you feel it's financially feasible regardless of his age or proximity to retirement. My hubby wants to work for another 10 years, he's 61 and in great health. Sixteen months ago I retired at age 55 with the body of a 90yr old. I'm having the time of my life. I travel with friends or alone when he can't come along; we make lots of "us" time; and I have mastered the art of doing nothing. Life is good and our relationship has become tighter because I no longer carry the baggage of a highly stressful job.

even though I'm in really good health for my age right now, who knows how long that will last??? AND, and I think this scares me more than any thing else, his company is talking (it's only hot air right now) about finding me a position on this new project. I don't even KNOW if I can do the kind of high energy/high stress work I was doing a few years ago. SO.... I'm excited and I'm scared and if they don't get the job, then I'm back to square one, wondering where in the hell I'll be in a year....

Carpe diem x 2. Do what you can while you can; don't sweat what you can't do; try the job and if it doesn't work quit; and by all means do factor health into whatever your plans are for the next 10yrs. My grouchy old lady mantra is that I've lived more life than I have left to live and I wasn't going to gamble that I'd be healthy enough to have a good time in retirement if I waited to do it another 10-15 yrs.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi Uppy. It sounds like the classic thing that happens as special needs kids get into their teens. Many, many years ago I used to work with kids exactly like Paul, and several of my friends still do, in a few different states. From that I know the range of services that are available varies widely from state to state. I know you don't need ideas, but since your situation will be changing when your daughter heads off to college, is it possible that anywhere in your community there is a program that specifically targets skills that would be required for a successful transition to a group living situation? I know in some areas it is possible to have something like that included in an IEP. In the shorter term, is there any possibility for weekly short term respite care so that you and your husband could get out on your own?

Your son sounds like such a sweet blessing in your life, but there is no doubt that parents who have adolescents with special needs need a good support group. I hope you have one, or could find someone to advocate for additional services for you.

He currently spends three hours of each day in a Transition class, and he's been learning all kinds of life and occupational skills that could be useful for him. Once he "passes" this round of goals, he goes into a supervised work training class that places him in occupational environments so we can see what type of work is most suited to his abilities.

Right now his teacher says he lacks some requisite skills (following instructions, if I had a whole thread I'd tell you tales of his independence and defiance) necessary to even attend and participate in a workshop setting, let alone a job.

 

[colorluvr]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Sixteen months ago I retired at age 55 with the body of a 90yr old. I'm having the time of my life. I travel with friends or alone when he can't come along; we make lots of "us" time; and I have mastered the art of doing nothing. Life is good and our relationship has become tighter because I no longer carry the baggage of a highly stressful job.

I think that's one of the reasons I'm scared. I "retired" 3 1/2 years ago, not because I wanted to, but because there was no work the last place we moved (or here for that matter) AND I have mastered the art of doing nothing also, out of necessity, but now I'm not sure if I can go back to a stressful job... HOWEVER, our financial situation could certainly use me working a few more years.

I guess there's nothing to be done but wait and see what happens, I just have a problem dealing with unknowns, as I tend to overthink them. I do much better when I'm sure what's happening so I can hit it head on! Thanks for your thoughtful response.

 

[colorluvr]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

And speakings of unknowns, it's time to feed my "currently" very happy and healthy seeming dogs.... You guys have a nice evening.

 

[Aoife]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Sixteen months ago I retired at age 55 with the body of a 90yr old. I'm having the time of my life. I travel with friends or alone when he can't come along; we make lots of "us" time; and I have mastered the art of doing nothing. Life is good and our relationship has become tighter because I no longer carry the baggage of a highly stressful job.

I think that's one of the reasons I'm scared. I "retired" 3 1/2 years ago, not because I wanted to, but because there was no work the last place we moved (or here for that matter) AND I have mastered the art of doing nothing also, out of necessity, but now I'm not sure if I can go back to a stressful job... HOWEVER, our financial situation could certainly use me working a few more years.

I guess there's nothing to be done but wait and see what happens, I just have a problem dealing with unknowns, as I tend to overthink them. I do much better when I'm sure what's happening so I can hit it head on! Thanks for your thoughtful response.

I am this way too, and sometimes thinking in advance of all the possible things that could happen just wears me out. But here's the thing, colorluvr: 59 just isn't very old. Really. So if the idea of working in high stress job puts you off, you are moving to an area that has lots of possibilities, and you might end up being able to find something that struck a balance between being interesting, and being something that made your blood pressure fly off the charts. I don't know where you live now, but the DC area is gorgeous, diverse, and kind of its own little reality. You might have...gasp...fun!

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy my dear, I have no advice (obviously) or suggestions, but I am so sorry for aspects of your situation. I have another friend with a 4 year old Downs child, and I have often wondered what she and her husband will do when he grows up. I wish I could offer something other than a hug, but I can't. But you WILL get the hug!

 

[Aoife]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi Uppy. It sounds like the classic thing that happens as special needs kids get into their teens. Many, many years ago I used to work with kids exactly like Paul, and several of my friends still do, in a few different states. From that I know the range of services that are available varies widely from state to state. I know you don't need ideas, but since your situation will be changing when your daughter heads off to college, is it possible that anywhere in your community there is a program that specifically targets skills that would be required for a successful transition to a group living situation? I know in some areas it is possible to have something like that included in an IEP. In the shorter term, is there any possibility for weekly short term respite care so that you and your husband could get out on your own?

Your son sounds like such a sweet blessing in your life, but there is no doubt that parents who have adolescents with special needs need a good support group. I hope you have one, or could find someone to advocate for additional services for you.

He currently spends three hours of each day in a Transition class, and he's been learning all kinds of life and occupational skills that could be useful for him. Once he "passes" this round of goals, he goes into a supervised work training class that places him in occupational environments so we can see what type of work is most suited to his abilities.

Right now his teacher says he lacks some requisite skills (following instructions, if I had a whole thread I'd tell you tales of his independence and defiance) necessary to even attend and participate in a workshop setting, let alone a job.

Challenges indeed. It certainly sounds as though he has the most important thing, though, which is parents who see him for the treasure he is, and want to do their best for him. It would be wonderful if our school and social service systems provided more support, but as usual, Spec. Ed is where the first cuts are usually made.