Gah! Wedding Ring Madness.

[Circe]

For the first time, I viscerally understand how rejected/frustrated men must feel if they don''t manage to find the *perfect* engagement ring.

About six months ago, I came on the board to look for wedding band suggestions - mobius bands, at the time. Problem is, FI and I couldn''t for the life of us agree on a design we both liked ... so, eventually, we decided we''d each go for what we like. I''m having mine custom-made by a jeweler I know and love who works for some of the big boys on 5th ... and as for FI ....

Well, I guess I kinda got myself into that one. See, *he* decided that he liked the simple silver braided engagement ring that I''d made for him myself, both in terms of craftsmanship and in terms of emotional content, more than any of the store-bought options we''d seen ... so he asked me to make his wedding band. Same as his e-ring, just on a slightly larger scale.

*Oy*.

You''d be startled at how tough it can be to make a perfect, larger-than-life replica of an existing design. The rails are too thick! he''d cry. Can''t you make the braid more pronounced? What will it look like if it''s recessed? Etc., etc., etc.

So, a week and eight models later, I finally crafted what I thought would be the ultimate version - a nice, even, 3mm braid, 1mm rails in white, even thickness, and ... still no good. Apparently, my darling engineer had been picturing something a bit more, well, machined.

(The first one, btw, was a grand total of a millimeter and a half, so you can see how any imperfections might have been a bit less noticeable.)

I admit, I was a little miffed at first - before a long shower, a short cry, a little retooling, and a rather delightful dinner-on-a-tray-with-a-bottle-of-wine brought up by FI - but, after a bit, I came to the conclusion that he should have what he wants, even if he''s indecisive. So, he''s going to have the best of all possible worlds: 9 rings total, 8 of them made by me with luv, I guess, and one red-and-white-gold ring made by the same guy who''s making mine, made with, um, skill.

Nevertheless, gah. Why couldn''t he have taken my word on this *before* I spent a week agonizing?!?

 

[monarch64]

Oh, sorry to hear this. What if you both got together on his ring and perfected it together? I know you probably wanted to come up with the perfect ring to please him, but look at it this way: so many men who come to this forum for the perfect e-ring for their proposals go through the same things you are going through now...i.e., it''s not quite right, needs some tweaking, etc. Would it be terrible if say, you have already taken over the majority and he comes in and tweaks the design to his liking to get it just right (in his opinion?) I know your original question is why did he let you agonize over it for a week and sort of let this disagreement happen (if I''m reading your post correctly), but it seems to me this could be worked out...I''m glad you came here to vent and flesh out your thoughts, that''s a good tactic for sure!

 

[crown1]

hi! i would love to see pictures of your craft. that is, if you do pictures and would be willing to share.

 

[scarleta]

Circe: you are very talented girl..Sorry you had to go through all of it, but there is a positive side to it.You have mastered your skills even more ..

 

[poshpepper]

Date: 9/6/2007 7:33:22 AM
Author: crown1
hi! i would love to see pictures of your craft. that is, if you do pictures and would be willing to share.

Yes, me too!!!!

 

[Circe]

Aw, thanks, ladies! A little sleep and reading your posts over breakfast, and I feel less doofy about all this.

Monarch, that''s exactly what we''ve been doing ... what I didn''t realize was just how much of a perfectionist my baby was. (Which, I should have ... I mean, when we painted the *garage*, he was carefully touching up the undersides of the grotty little shelves that will never, ever, ever be seen by anyone.) See, the thing is, I''m not a professional jeweler. I''m an enthusiastic hobbyist who''s mastered a few techniques and occasionally does presents or commissions, but Leon Mege I''m not: at this point, it''s not so much a matter of design as it is of technique. And with a guy who says things like, say, isn''t *this* twist of the braid a tad tighter/looser than *that* one ... frustration ensues. It ends up coming down to the debate we see on a lot of custom work, where a customer sees a little tiny variation on a bit of filigree or a piece of engraving or whatever, and we all start going back and forth on machine-made regularity vs. the human element of a fabricated piece.

I guess I''m just kicking myself for not having realized this sooner about him, and taking him at his word when he said that the emotional significance of having me make his wedding ring outweighed the possible artistry of any other jeweler''s work, no matter how skilled, just because, now we''ve lost three months worth of custom design time! We''re planning on getting married at the end of October, which, given that it''s now September ... yikes. But venting to y''all is a definite source of relief!

I''ll happily post pictures for you ladies, with the caveat that it *will* be Amateur Hour.

Scarleta, thanks! That''s a good point, and one that makes me feel much better: given the cross-country move, prior to this last week I''d had a jewelry-making hiatus of three months ... it''s definitely good to get back in the saddle, as it were. And, P.S. - did you ever find a jeweler for your custom project? I''m wildly curious!

 

[Circe]

Now, given that we''ve just moved, the camera cord is (of course) hiding. But here are a few old shots to tide y''all over ....

First up: green tourmaline ring, knotted sides, and a devout prayer that this doesn''t come out gigundo-huge.

 

[Circe]

#2 - Purple tourmaline on a braided band.

 

[Circe]

Apparently, "lavender tourmaline ring" is a taken tag.

 

[Circe]

And, finally, a rather mean-looking thing I made back when I was a punky college grrl - these are the only old shots I have of wire-work, I think.

 

[Circe]

Thanks for putting up with a nut like me!

(copper acorn pendant, and, in all likelihood, a "ba-dum-dum-dum" noise in my general direction for the bad pun)

 

[scarleta]

Scarleta, thanks! That''s a good point, and one that makes me feel much better: given the cross-country move, prior to this last week I''d had a jewelry-making hiatus of three months ... it''s definitely good to get back in the saddle, as it were. And, P.S. - did you ever find a jeweler for your custom project? I''m wildly curious!

Thanks for the pics.Nice work.As for my custom project; nothing yet we are slow moving here.Perhaps in the next 3 months I will get to it.

 

[crown1]

thanks for posting the pictures of your work. you seem to have talent. they are lovely.

 

[Fly Girl]

Welcome back, Circe! I think your work is lovely, and I'm looking forward to more pictures.

Don't worry if his new custom ring isn't ready by wedding day. You probably have enough other things to worry about. The ring can wait until it is just to his liking. And, it sounds like you have lots of stand-ins ready to go.

 

[poshpepper]

ooooo, they are so nice

I really like the amethyst ring... very pretty. Looking forward to the more recent pics as well

 

[Circe]

Y''all are balm to a slightly bruised ego.

Flygirl - thanks for that! I think I needed the reminder that this wasn''t quite as ... urgent ... as it was feeling in my head. (Though, having thought about it a bit more, now I''m having visions of his looking at the professional''s work and *still* being dissatisfied ....) The ring will be fine ... I guess I''m just having the girl-version of the typical board reaction from threads where, say, a guy''s struggling with his girlfriend''s desire for more than he can provide: a generalized worry, I guess, about not coming up to standard. Bah.

On the upside, I found the damned cord! Below, two shots, one of the (good god) 9 prototypes, and one of the last version, which is currently en route to my jeweler as a weird kind of a model-of-a-model.

 

[Circe]

Unt, the most recent ring atop its little sheet of explanatory directions:

 

[surfgirl]

It looks lovely Circe! Well done! I''ve made jewlery before and it''s damned difficult to make things totally precise. You done good.