Friend (or friend''s fiance?) lying about diamond size

[suchende]

So, a friend recently got engaged. I saw the stone, and it is a very pretty solitaire, from Blue Nile, showing some arrows, nice and white, no visible inclusions. It is a diamond any girl should be proud to wear.

When she showed me, she said, "it''s a little over a carat!" Well... it isn''t. I would guess .5-.66. There''s NOTHING wrong with that size, but it''s not a carat.

Now I feel very awkward. If he lied, and she finds out, will she wonder why I didn''t say anything? (She knows, or at least should know, that I know enough to estimate its size).

Anyone else have a story about lying friends/lying fiances and what happened?

 

[HopeDream]

Could you strongly encourage her to have it apraised for insurance purposes?

You're looking out for her interests by encouraging her to protect her fiance's investment, and she becomes informed of the diamond's beautiful attributes.

It's a win-win.

good luck!

HD

 

[jmtomaui]

Maybe she did not lie? If the diamond is poorly cut, cut so that the weight is on the bottom of the stone, it could truly weigh a carat but not look like one. If you read Rocky Talk at all, they will frequently talk about how a diamond "faces up" to be larger with a great cut than diamonds with a poor cut. I don''t know if it is enough to look like .40 less but I suppose anything is possible...

Hopefully someone with more knowledge will chime in and help make this concept easier to understand.

 

[misskitty]

Awkward!

I wouldn''t say anything, personally. I know that you think it''s "on you" a little bit if she finds out that he''s been misleading (if that is the case), but it''s his responsibility to be honest with her about this.

I do agree that she ought to get it insured, regardless of the size. I don''t know that I''d directly suggest getting the ring appraised for fear of sending the wrong message, but asking if she''ll be getting it insured seems harmless (and smart, if she hasn''t thought of doing that). If she happens to learn something that she doesn''t want to learn during the appraisal, that''s how it goes.

 

[suchende]

Date: 6/20/2009 7:07:54 PM
Author: jmtomaui
Maybe she did not lie? If the diamond is poorly cut, cut so that the weight is on the bottom of the stone, it could truly weigh a carat but not look like one. If you read Rocky Talk at all, they will frequently talk about how a diamond ''faces up'' to be larger with a great cut than diamonds with a poor cut. I don''t know if it is enough to look like .40 less but I suppose anything is possible...


Hopefully someone with more knowledge will chime in and help make this concept easier to understand.

I would write it off to depth if i wasn''t sure that it''s nicely cut. Ah well.

 

[blueroses]

Weird situation. Could be a deeply cut stone, that was my first thought--but if it''s facing up with nice arrows and such, would that still be the case? I''m no expert.

Otherwise, I think it''s really sad if her FI has lied to her about it--it''s about the promise the ring represents, not bragging rights. I wouldn''t bother saying anything....but the appraisal for insurance approach could work.

 

[mrscushion]

Don't say anything. And, it's possible that she's lying because she's not happy with the true size. Or that it's a badly cut stone, as others have pointed out. Either way, it's not worth getting involved.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 6/20/2009 7:35:59 PM
Author: mscushion
Don''t say anything. And, it''s possible that she''s lying because she''s not happy with the true size. Or that it''s a badly cut stone, as others have pointed out. Either way, it''s not worth getting involved.

Ditto.

 

[trillionaire]

Maybe she had large fingers and it just LOOKS small...

 

[radiantquest]

you said that you would think she would know that you know enough about diamonds that you would know size by looking at it. i think that if she knew it was about half carat she wouldnt tell you that it was knowing that you would know the difference.

i think that either she was led to believe that it really is a carat or it really is and is cut badly. i would take the advice of the other posters and suggest she get it insured and that we she will have to get it appraised

 

[decodelighted]

Are there any tiny diamonds on the band? Maybe her fiance told her TCW (Total Carat Weight) ... I hear a *LOT* of people describing the TCW of their rings as if it was the main stone''s weight. Ebay listings are like that also. Hmmmm.

If its a solid metal band then ??? *shrug*. Probably gonna be an embarrassing moment in the future but it isn''t up to you to force the issue now. Ooof. Awkward.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 6/20/2009 9:47:14 PM
Author: decodelighted
Are there any tiny diamonds on the band? Maybe her fiance told her TCW (Total Carat Weight) ... I hear a *LOT* of people describing the TCW of their rings as if it was the main stone''s weight. Ebay listings are like that also. Hmmmm.


If its a solid metal band then ??? *shrug*. Probably gonna be an embarrassing moment in the future but it isn''t up to you to force the issue now. Ooof. Awkward.

Ditto. A TON of people refer to their TCW instead of just the weight of the center stone.

I also wouldn''t force the issue but you could also encourage her to get it appraised and insured...that way you aren''t the bearer of bad news but if the FI really lied about it she will know.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I ditto everyone who says "keep quiet"...it''s her ring and for whatever the reason my be, she is saying it''s over a carat ... so let her.

 

[Dancing Fire]

look at it this way...it could of been worst, a FAKE,then what would you say?

 

[Nomsdeplume]

I don''t know if it''s really worth saying anything. She''s happy to be engaged, why ruin it by making her fight with her fiancee? If it was your own engagement ring, it would be a different story, and getting upset about it would be fine. But if you say something to your friend, she will just be angry because she will feel that you are trying to humiliate her. Not worth it.

 

[BlueSki231]

Date: 6/20/2009 8:30:35 PM
Author: trillionaire
Maybe she had large fingers and it just LOOKS small...

haha this is what i was gonna say...

and i also agree with deco. if there are diamonds in the setting then maybe she''s giving you the total weight..
otherwise...

 

[LilyKat]

I definitely wouldn''t say anything. She''s happy.

And ditto whoever said she might have big fingers (even if she is a slim girl). It can make SO much difference to how large a diamond appears that I find it virtually impossible to estimate diamond size on someone else!

 

[Jessie702]

Ditto...i woldnt say anything, its her ring, and if she is happy that is all the counts. Also its not really about the ring, so much as its about the engagement and comming marriage

 

[Rhea]

I wouldn''t say anything. There are many potential reasons it could look smaller, all mentioned here. She''s happy, let it go.

 

[lilmissrugger]

I agree with the other posters to just let it go...

unless she starts to get reallllly cocky about it...
(and then I would understand a little slip of the tongue

)

 

[suchende]

I saw her this weekend and I kept my lips zipped. If she ever finds out, and asks me if I knew, I can come back to this thread for all the reasons my estimate might have been off, lol.

For the curious, it''s a plain gold solitaire, no sidestones, and she wears a size 7.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 6/22/2009 1:46:28 AM
Author: lilmissrugger
I agree with the other posters to just let it go...

unless she starts to get reallllly cocky about it...
(and then I would understand a little slip of the tongue

)

Oh that's naughty

I have a friend who was super cocky when she got an engagement ring after 12 years with her partner, but unfortunately for her my then BF went and bought me a lovely 1 carat engagement ring and I'd only known him a year. I didn't rub her nose in it ....honest

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Wow, someone seems to be incredibly competitive in that relationship - I don''t understand why anyone would lie about it, but then, I don''t think I''ve ever had a single person ask, and I don''t volunteer.

 

[lilmissrugger]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:45:51 PM
Author: Londongirl1

Date: 6/22/2009 1:46:28 AM

Author: lilmissrugger

I agree with the other posters to just let it go...


unless she starts to get reallllly cocky about it...

(and then I would understand a little slip of the tongue

)

Oh that's naughty

I have a friend who was super cocky when she got an engagement ring after 12 years with her partner, but unfortunately for her my then BF went and bought me a lovely 1 carat engagement ring and I'd only known him a year. I didn't rub her nose in it ....honest

Hahahahah...

I think my answer to the problem comes from dealing with my roommate of this past year at college- any chance she gets, she throws remarks about her ring into nearly EVERY conversation- even if they're not related in the slightest!!! Also, when my other friend got engaged (on her birthday) and I went to take a picture of her ring for a "hooray, look a ring!" picture, and right as I'm about to snap the pic, my roommate puts her hand in and ON TOP of the girl who JUST GOT ENGAGED and says, "Oh, yes, we HAVE to have this picture!"

So you know, if they're genuinely excited and not being pushy or showy, I think its a good idea to let it go... Otherwise...

(And I'm glad you "didn't" rub it in her face!!!

)

 

[swingirl]

Don't say anything about it no matter what. First of all, she's not asking for your opinion. Secondly, how could it help? A jeweler once told me my new ering was a piece of junk and I should return it. It spoiled my excitement and made me feel cheated and taken. They were right, it was a poorly cut stone that was no where near what the NY Diamond District vendor said it was. But it was my engagement ring and had a lot of sentimentality attached to it. So what ever I thought it was, even if I was wrong, it would have been better for this person to have said, "Congratulations on your engagement", and nothing more. And if she is lying, who cares. It's her story and it's her problem that she feels she has to lie. Maybe she is rounding the number up to 1 ct.

 

[janinegirly]

do not say anything. what would be the point?

but it is kind of brash of her to say "it''s over a carat!!"--I don''t know, maybe it''s just me but I don''t typically discuss ring size. Even if someone asks, I''m coy about it or change the subject (except maybe family). So my guess is if she''s going around saying this to everyone, SOMEONE''s going to call her or the FI out on it, so let it be them and not you!

 

[AdiS]

Date: 6/23/2009 9:26:34 PM
Author: lilmissrugger


Hahahahah...

I think my answer to the problem comes from dealing with my roommate of this past year at college- any chance she gets, she throws remarks about her ring into nearly EVERY conversation- even if they''re not related in the slightest!!! Also, when my other friend got engaged (on her birthday) and I went to take a picture of her ring for a ''hooray, look a ring!'' picture, and right as I''m about to snap the pic, my roommate puts her hand in and ON TOP of the girl who JUST GOT ENGAGED and says, ''Oh, yes, we HAVE to have this picture!''

So you know, if they''re genuinely excited and not being pushy or showy, I think its a good idea to let it go... Otherwise...

(And I''m glad you ''didn''t'' rub it in her face!!!

)

lol, what a classy gal!

 

[House Cat]

I''m wondering what this girl will do/think when she is wearing her ring and she''s with another lady who IS wearing a diamond that is just over a carat?

BTW, I think her FI lied to her. I''m not sure a woman would lie so eagerly.

 

[lilmissrugger]

Date: 6/24/2009 9:05:10 AM
Author: AdiS

Date: 6/23/2009 9:26:34 PM

Author: lilmissrugger



Hahahahah...


I think my answer to the problem comes from dealing with my roommate of this past year at college- any chance she gets, she throws remarks about her ring into nearly EVERY conversation- even if they''re not related in the slightest!!! Also, when my other friend got engaged (on her birthday) and I went to take a picture of her ring for a ''hooray, look a ring!'' picture, and right as I''m about to snap the pic, my roommate puts her hand in and ON TOP of the girl who JUST GOT ENGAGED and says, ''Oh, yes, we HAVE to have this picture!''



So you know, if they''re genuinely excited and not being pushy or showy, I think its a good idea to let it go... Otherwise...

(And I''m glad you ''didn''t'' rub it in her face!!!

)

lol, what a classy gal!

Like you wouldn''t believe, AdiS, like you wouldn''t believe

 

[suchende]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:45:53 AM
Author: House Cat
I''m wondering what this girl will do/think when she is wearing her ring and she''s with another lady who IS wearing a diamond that is just over a carat?

BTW, I think her FI lied to her. I''m not sure a woman would lie so eagerly.

Since she is not a jewelry person really, I am not sure this would come up. At least I hope not.