Found the ring...now how to propose?

[1981]

Hello Everyone,

I was looking for a bit of advice. Finding the right ring has taken me a long time and I''m still not 100% sure on it, but i''m moving forward anyway. Now I need to come up with a proposal. Ladies, would you prefer an "over-the-top, secretly fly me to Paris" type of engagement or a "wake-up-one morning of our very normal life and unexpectedly receive a ring" type of proposal? I''ve know this girl since we were 15. We broke up and lived in different states for a few years but always remianed close. We ultimately came back together in our hometown and bought a house together 2 years ago. She is very special. I want to nail this, but I don''t want to over-think it either. What do you think?

 

[TooPatient]

I''ve always wanted something small and romantic. Maybe he cooks my favorite meal and then asks after dinner. Or out at the part we used to walk through -- sitting on the bench where he first kissed me.


But it is all personal. What does she like?

 

[1981]

See, that''s what i''m leaning towards too. Something simple, but romantic. I just want it to be ENOUGH, ya know? I was thinking of just having her roll over one morning and asking her

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/14/2009 5:31:35 PM
Author: 1981
See, that''s what i''m leaning towards too. Something simple, but romantic. I just want it to be ENOUGH, ya know? I was thinking of just having her roll over one morning and asking her

Wouldn''t be my favorite, but you know her best. I''m not really a morning person. Half awake for awhile. I never remember much of the details from early morning. Not until I''ve showered at least.


As long as you keep her in mind it will be enough. Think about her. What does she like? Where did you meet? Did you have an especially memorable date?

(look back through some of the threads in this section for ideas and women talking about what they would like)

I like some of the aspects of some recently. One guy wrote a letter and read it so that she could look back and read it forever. Others are having pictures taken (paid person or just a friend).

 

[1981]

Yeah, she really isn''t a morning person at all, either. We share the same days off though and usually wake-up to our dog jumping around on us, then finally getting up and taking him for a walk around the park right next to our house.

I met her in high school...but she really disliked that school, so there isn''t much significance there.

I will take a look at some of the other threads as you suggest. thanks for the help

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/14/2009 6:08:28 PM
Author: 1981
Yeah, she really isn''t a morning person at all, either. We share the same days off though and usually wake-up to our dog jumping around on us, then finally getting up and taking him for a walk around the park right next to our house.

I met her in high school...but she really disliked that school, so there isn''t much significance there.

I will take a look at some of the other threads as you suggest. thanks for the help

Is there a nice spot in the park where you walk your dog? That would certainly be personal. And she''d remember it every time you go out with the dog.

 

[1981]

Defintiely there is. She also loves the idea of "brunch" for some reason. Maybe I could have one of my sisters set up a table with a bunch of brunch stuff in the park pre-our arrival. But agian...i''ve been dating her for 9 years on and off. We have a ton of history. Would this be "enough," ya think?

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/14/2009 6:57:08 PM
Author: 1981
Defintiely there is. She also loves the idea of ''brunch'' for some reason. Maybe I could have one of my sisters set up a table with a bunch of brunch stuff in the park pre-our arrival. But agian...i''ve been dating her for 9 years on and off. We have a ton of history. Would this be ''enough,'' ya think?

A table set up nice. Flowers. Champagne (if she likes it -- I personally don''t and would be much happier with a moscato)

Maybe one of your sisters could take pictures too?

Add you and the ring.


Sounds great to me.

It isn''t the over-the-top that matters. It is the thought and love you put into it. Showing that you know her and care about her.

 

[crossmyfingers]

Honestly, I would absolutely love to wake up with a ring on my finger and BF smiling at me, then telling me all the sweet things that usually go with a proposal. I dreamed that he had put a ring on my finger a few weeks ago, and could feel it in the dream, and woke up all excited till I realized it was a dream and my hand was still naked, hahaha.

My ideal proposal would be if BF took us to this nice pub we went to the first time we hung out and asking me in the same seats we were in that first night. I''m sure to others that seems odd, but we really connected for the first time right there. See? It all depends on the girl. I don''t think you have to worry about it being "enough" as long as it is heartfelt and it makes both of you happy. BUT - if you are worried that it won''t make her happy, then maybe do something more. But I don''t believe most girls necessarily want or expect to be taken to Paris for the proposal.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 9/14/2009 7:06:09 PM
Author: TooPatient

Date: 9/14/2009 6:57:08 PM
Author: 1981
Defintiely there is. She also loves the idea of ''brunch'' for some reason. Maybe I could have one of my sisters set up a table with a bunch of brunch stuff in the park pre-our arrival. But agian...i''ve been dating her for 9 years on and off. We have a ton of history. Would this be ''enough,'' ya think?

A table set up nice. Flowers. Champagne (if she likes it -- I personally don''t and would be much happier with a moscato)

Maybe one of your sisters could take pictures too?

Add you and the ring.


Sounds great to me.

It isn''t the over-the-top that matters. It is the thought and love you put into it. Showing that you know her and care about her.

I certainly think that''s "enough". I don''t think you have to get more extravagent the longer you''ve been together!!! If she loves "brunch" I think either packing a picnic for the two of you to eat while walking the dog or having a sibling/friend set one up for you at your favorite spot in the park is the PERFECT way to do it. I know *I* would melt...

 

[mrjonesandme]

I love the "wake up with a ring on your finger" proposal idea and I think this is how I want to propose to my girlfriend. However, I see a possible issue...

That she would wake up before I had chance to put the ring on her finger or while I''m trying to put a ring on her finger.

The only other concern is that the movie "A Time Travelers Wife" just did this and since we saw it together, I really don''t want her to think I stole it (I had the idea a long time ago and was visibly clenching my teeth when I saw it in the movie).

Thoughts?

 

[princesss]

Date: 9/16/2009 4:04:02 PM
Author: mrjonesandme
I love the 'wake up with a ring on your finger' proposal idea and I think this is how I want to propose to my girlfriend. However, I see a possible issue...

That she would wake up before I had chance to put the ring on her finger or while I'm trying to put a ring on her finger.

The only other concern is that the movie 'A Time Travelers Wife' just did this and since we saw it together, I really don't want her to think I stole it (I had the idea a long time ago and was visibly clenching my teeth when I saw it in the movie).

Thoughts?

I think you're going to find a range of opinions on that one. Personally, I'd hate it. Not just because I'm not a morning person, but because I hate the implied assumption. The ring doesn't go on until I say yes, and while he wouldn't ask if he didn't know, he'd d*mn well better not put the words in my mouth or assume anything about my answer. It's a question asked between equals, not an assumption made by a person with all the power. (ETA: Not saying that's what you mean by doing it that way, and really not trying to rain on your parade, but I want to give you something to think about. If your GF isn't like me - and many women aren't - she could totally love it and think it's the most romantic thing ever. I just studied culture and focused on the manifestations of power in society for a while so it's a bit of a sensitive spot for me.)


I am a fan of the simple, sincere proposal, though. Take her on a walk someplace beautiful, get down on one knee and ask. Surprise her with brunch if she loves that (tell her you're taking her to a champagne brunch so she dresses up and then ask before you go - that way you celebrate with her favourite meal). Make a scrapbook. As long as it's genuine, the *how* doesn't matter.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/16/2009 4:37:34 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 9/16/2009 4:04:02 PM
Author: mrjonesandme
I love the ''wake up with a ring on your finger'' proposal idea and I think this is how I want to propose to my girlfriend. However, I see a possible issue...

That she would wake up before I had chance to put the ring on her finger or while I''m trying to put a ring on her finger.

The only other concern is that the movie ''A Time Travelers Wife'' just did this and since we saw it together, I really don''t want her to think I stole it (I had the idea a long time ago and was visibly clenching my teeth when I saw it in the movie).

Thoughts?

I think you''re going to find a range of opinions on that one. Personally, I''d hate it. Not just because I''m not a morning person, but because I hate the implied assumption. The ring doesn''t go on until I say yes, and while he wouldn''t ask if he didn''t know, he''d d*mn well better not put the words in my mouth or assume anything about my answer. It''s a question asked between equals, not an assumption made by a person with all the power. (ETA: Not saying that''s what you mean by doing it that way, and really not trying to rain on your parade, but I want to give you something to think about. If your GF isn''t like me - and many women aren''t - she could totally love it and think it''s the most romantic thing ever. I just studied culture and focused on the manifestations of power in society for a while so it''s a bit of a sensitive spot for me.)


I am a fan of the simple, sincere proposal, though. Take her on a walk someplace beautiful, get down on one knee and ask. Surprise her with brunch if she loves that (tell her you''re taking her to a champagne brunch so she dresses up and then ask before you go - that way you celebrate with her favourite meal). Make a scrapbook. As long as it''s genuine, the *how* doesn''t matter.

I agree with Princess.

I''m not a morning person and wouldn''t like it anyway.

Besides that, I may say yes but I get to say it. It shouldn''t just be assumed that since the guy is ready now, that is all there is to it.

And I''d be crushed to not to be asked. Those are words that every woman wants to hear.

 

[crossmyfingers]

Date: 9/16/2009 4:04:02 PM
Author: mrjonesandme
I love the ''wake up with a ring on your finger'' proposal idea and I think this is how I want to propose to my girlfriend. However, I see a possible issue...


That she would wake up before I had chance to put the ring on her finger or while I''m trying to put a ring on her finger.


The only other concern is that the movie ''A Time Travelers Wife'' just did this and since we saw it together, I really don''t want her to think I stole it (I had the idea a long time ago and was visibly clenching my teeth when I saw it in the movie).


Thoughts?

I knew a long time ago I would love to be proposed to like that, and when I saw Time Traveler''s Wife I was a little sad to see that was how he proposed, but I still would love that. It''s up to you, though. Like some of the other ladies said, she may want to hear "will you marry me?" and get to tell you yes before she has the ring on her finger. I personally would love to wake up as BF is putting the ring on my hand and see him smiling at me, asking "will you marry me?". He knows I''m ready for him to ask, so I wouldn''t be offended if he put it on my hand before asking, but I can understand where the others are coming from by saying they wouldn''t want that.

But you know your GF best.

 

[Nomsdeplume]

It''s up to you, because you know her, but I think a lot of girls want it to be memorable. This is the story she will be telling all your friends and family members, so she might want something simple and sincere, but romantic, a bit original and above all truly memorable.
I personally have never liked the idea of waking up to a ring, or going out to dinner and finding a ring in my dessert or champagne. It''s just... meh.

 

[MikeAth]

Most girls I know wouldn''t like to be asked first thing in the morning whe their hair is a mess etc... The park picnic idea sounds great!

Small touches make it special too... like making sure champagne (if that''s what you''ve gone for) is cold, having her favourite foods there and saying something that means a lot to you both.

Best of luck!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 9/21/2009 8:19:41 AM
Author: MikeAth
Most girls I know wouldn''t like to be asked first thing in the morning whe their hair is a mess etc... The park picnic idea sounds great!

Small touches make it special too... like making sure champagne (if that''s what you''ve gone for) is cold, having her favourite foods there and saying something that means a lot to you both.

Best of luck!

Ditto.

 

[bibiloves]

I''m a girl and I would love to wake up with a ring on my finger especially if it was done like this. You know your gf best so put some effort in it and I think she will love it. Good luck on finding a way to propose.

 

[1981]

I''m thinking I may go the park picninc, brunch route. The only thing is, the spot where we like to go in the park isn''t usually crowded, but if there is anyone around it is going to ruin it, b/c I am not a fan, nor do I think she would be, of the public proposal. I want to say what is on my mind and I don''t want an audience. That''s why I was humoring doing it in our room, in the morning

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/22/2009 1:10:30 PM
Author: 1981
I''m thinking I may go the park picninc, brunch route. The only thing is, the spot where we like to go in the park isn''t usually crowded, but if there is anyone around it is going to ruin it, b/c I am not a fan, nor do I think she would be, of the public proposal. I want to say what is on my mind and I don''t want an audience. That''s why I was humoring doing it in our room, in the morning

Maybe you could watch that spot and see when it is least crowded. People usually have some sort of routine they follow. A difference of 15 minutes in either direction could be the difference between a quiet brunch all alone or a site seeing stop for a jogging club.

I''d suggest looking in at certain times for a week or so to see what it is like and adjust your timing from that.

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Have you checked out national parks or hiking routes in the area? Can you go for a little hike/walk and then have a surprise picnic already waiting for her in a secluded but beautiful location like a waterfall or a great view?
Just a thought.

 

[larkgems]

I wouldn''t really have wanted a whole fly-me-to-paris thing... and I wouldn''t like the ball game thing either... I''d try to think of something special or unique you two like to do together and use that as a basis for ideas. Here''s my proposal story that was PERFECT for us, just to give you an idea of what kind of unique thing you could do:

My fiance works at a rifle/pistol outdoor range in our county, and I''ve actually become a fairly big gun enthusiast since learning from him. In fact, one of our first dates was him showing me how to shoot.

Anyway, I knew a proposal was coming because we''d been talking about it, but I didn''t know when or how. So one day, one of his best friends said he needed my help picking out something for a wedding present for one of his friends (no, not us, one of his friends was also getting married lol) and he suggested going to the range afterward. Sounded like a fun, rather typical weekend, so we went out that morning and on our way to the range I got a text message from that friend as we were driving. It said, "the eagle has left the nest" haha! So my suspicious were definitely aroused, but he played it off as a joke, so I wasn''t sure... When we got to the range, everything was normal, there were a bunch of the regulars there and no one was acting weird or anything.

We''d been there for about an hour and a half, and my guy was totally cool and calm, so I figured it wasn''t going to happen. Now, every 15-20 minutes at the range, a "relay" is over, meaning my guy takes the PA and tells everyone to cease fire, unload firearms, step behind the red line. So there I am, stepping back and putting my ear protection down. I could hear him hesitate for a second after saying "step behind the red line", so I looked questioningly at the range office to see if he''d forgotten to hang up. He made eye contact with me and I froze as I watched him say, "And miss _______, will you marry me?"

I was in utter shock... Everyone turned to me with bemused expressions and my hands flew over my mouth. I had turned away instinctively because I was so shocked, and as I spun back around to look at him, I saw that amazingly, he had made it out within seriously a SECOND of saying it and was on his knee with an incredible emerald ring. I started tearing up, and everyone around us was cheering and clapping and asking, "What''d she say??"

Of course I said yes, and we went into the range office together as I cried and hugged him. And as he told everyone over the PA that it was safe to go downrange to collect their targets, you could hear me laughing and crying and the emotional crack of his own voice.

It was a beautiful, perfect day, and the best proposal I could''ve imagined. How many girls get proposed to at the shooting range?

 

[AustenNut]

Personally, I like the brunch picnic idea at the park. It actually sounds pretty darn like my perfect proposal.

As far as the waking up to a ring on my finger proposal, it would not be my favorite way. For one thing, I do want to hear the words, "Will you marry me?" Also, this is the story that you''re going to be telling people (including any future children) and do you really want it to be we were sleeping in bed together and then I woke up and there was the ring? But whatever works for the two of you.

 

[BeachPrincess]

hi im new to this but i saw this subject and had to put out my idea.

i am a massive christmas fan and the time of year is always special to me. a lot of people say dont do it around this time because it is just a cop-out but if you can wait that long i think it can be so romantic!! but you have to make it so that she has a christmas as well and it doesnt just get forgotten about and lost in all the excitement-otherwise it is a cop out!!

you need to get one of these stand alone wooden advent calenders-most of them are in the shape of a christmas tree with little drawers where you put the chocolates in. if you can get one that goes up to christmas day thats great but christmas eve is good too.

im pretty sure you get the idea of where this is going...she opens the last drawer on the last day of advent and the ring is inside!! i think this is so brilliant but it depends if you can wait that long really!

you have bought the ring now so i guess you wanna do it sooner than later but i just thought i would share this with you!1

good luck

xx