For the loved ones we have lost

[I Love My Sailor]

I''m not sure how many of you know... but, My sister was killed in a tragic car accident in May. She was 23 years old and just graduated from school. My family is torn apart by this and I cant fix anything. I am starting this thread for anyone who wants to share your story on a loved one you have lost. I know there are lot of people out there whom share my pain but I never talked about it until now. I have decided to but it out there.

 

[I Love My Sailor]

here she is

 

[lulu]

Very sorry for your loss.

 

[D&T]

so sorry for your loss.

 

[Loves2Laugh]

I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful young lady. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family.

 

[Kaleigh]

ILMS,
I am so very sorry for your loss. So tragic and sad. A life snubbed out wayyy too early. Sending prayers of healing and comfort to you and your family.

 

[Camille]

Oh dear, so sorry for your family loss, she was truly beautiful....sending prayers your way

 

[purrfectpear]

How awful for your parents, I just can''t imagine how they must be hurting. You must feel like your best friend has been ripped from you life too. I''m very sorry that she was taken from your family

 

[ladypirate]

I'm so sorry, ILMS. That is tragic. Sending prayers to you and your family. *hugs*

 

[Mandarine]

I''m so sorry for your loss. Your sister was beautiful...sending prayers your way.

 

[KristyDarling]

This is beyond heartbreaking. She was a beautiful girl. I can''t even imagine the depth of your grief. I am so very sorry.

 

[HollyS]

I don''t know what I would do if either of my sisters died. Four years ago, Dad and I drove all night, across country, to get to my sister''s hospital bedside, just in the hope we could get there before her surgery. We weren''t sure we would ever get to see her again, as the surgery itself was life-threatening. I cannot even describe the anxiety I felt that I would not get there in time. We had already lost Mom; how could I bear a sister''s death, too? Thankfully, I did not have to find out where I would get the strength to do that.

I''m so sorry that you have lost your sister. I don''t want to sound like a cliche, but time will allow you to feel less ''engulfed'' in sorrow. There are stages of grief, and we really do go through them - - sometimes in slow agony, but through them, nevertheless. For weeks after my mother died, maybe months, the first thought I had in my head every morning was "My mother is dead." It colored everything. And then, slowly, but surely, it did not.

What has brought me comfort is this: there is not a day that she is not ''with'' me. Literally, I feel her presence - - not memories of her, for those are fuzzy and getting fuzzier. However your heart helps you deal and heal, know that it will happen.

Prayers for you and your family.

 

[bee*]

I''m so sorry to hear about your sister. She was such a beautiful girl. Take care of yourself.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I''m sorry about your loss.

 

[Maisie]

I''m very sorry for your loss.

 

[lyra]

I''m so sorry for your loss.

When I was 23 my dad (51) died very suddenly in a traumatic way at home. I lived far away, and it took me about 10 years to be okay with it, and even to actually believe it happened. I had dream after dream of him being alive, but living somewhere else. I guess the denial stage lasted a long time. It''s still hard to think about, but I''m okay with it now. It''s just hard to explain to people who have not experienced this, and of course, we would never wish this kind of thing on anyone else.

Your sister looks so vivacious and happy in that picture. It must be so hard for you. Take care, be kind to yourself.

 

[I Love My Sailor]

thank you all so much for your stories and support. My family is very broken right now. My father does not want to live anymore, he drinks way too much and talks openly about not wanting to live any longer. Its very painful but I have to deal with the fact that this did happen and as upside down as this turned my family, I as forced to deal with it.

 

[Kaleigh]

I know how you feel, I lost my brother when I was 31. It was very hard on my family as well. I don''t know if this would help, but maybe see a grief counselor?? I didn''t do that when I lost my brother. But did when my Nanny died. I had been her care giver for 16 years, she was like a Mom to me and died on Mother''s day. The grief counselor really helped me process the pain I was feeling. You sound so strong, and so much is on your shoulders....

Big hugs to you!!!

 

[CJ2008]

Oh, I''m so sorry to hear this...

yet I am so glad you posted about it, and her picture...we all get to see a little bit of her.

You''re dealing not just with her loss but the breakdown of everything else that was once stable...I second Kaleigh''s recommendation that you see a grief counselor or a therapist - someone who can help you deal with all the emotions and what''s going on around you.

 

[nycbkgirl]

im so sorry for your loss and it is impt to let feelings out and talk during the grieving process. your story gave me chills. today sept 7 marks the 4yr anniversary of my SIL''s tragic death (husband''s sister) she was 20 yrs old and died in the same fashion as your sis did and it is very hard. i remember the events of that day like it was ystdy..every word, every moment. it was difficult to get his mom and his younger sis thru this but we made it..it never gets easier, never goes away but life moves on and the other joys are prominent so there is smthg to live for. we mark this day every year and always get together. be there for eachother and just remember all the good. i find myself holding my babies a little tighter today and giving them extra kisses.

will try to post a photo (taken from tombstone)

 

[dragonfly411]

ILMS - I am very sorry for your family''s loss. I do agree with the grief councilor idea, but also recommend just sharing thoughts and memories with anyone you can. I recently lost a very very good friend of mine, and I have spent a lot of time with his family since then, just talking, reminiscing, and having new fun times. We all use him as an inspiration, and I''m helping his mom get ready for a half marathon (which will be both of our first ones). Sometimes I imagine that it''s not real, and that he''ll show up and that it''s all a big mistake, but I know better. I spend a lot of time just remembering, remembering fun times, remembering not so fun times, trying to capture his facial expressions and voice in my mind. ((hugs)) I hope you find peace with your family eventually.

 

[Patchee]

I Love My Sailor - you are at the right place now and able to talk about it, TALK is what you need to do, you cannot keep it in, you should of course worry about your family but you need to do you right now as well. You cannot change anything nor fix anything - we all would love to snap our fingers and make our loved ones come back and our family back to what it was. So sad that we cannot do this.

Keep pics of your sister present, talk about her, think about her, talk to her, do the things you and she would do even if she is not present with you, she is still with you. I am a believer in God and many are not but I want to say what I want to say anyway. (No offense to anyone not believing) but I feel God takes people to him because he has other things for them to do. He is not age basis or situation of one person bais. He just feels when he needs your help, to help him following out something special he will grab a special person from us to help him with the "job" he''s got to do. He feels like your sister fulfilled what she had to do here on earth (that is being a sister, having a good family, friends, pet''s, things in general) and she is onto other phonomial things. I feel this way about my Mom who passed away in her 20''s.. I was a kid. I needed her but she was needed elsewhere.

You be strong, and please smile because she loves you as you do.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I love my sailor - I am very sorry that your sister died so young and such a tragic manner. It sounds like your family is really taking this hard, which is understandable being how sudden this is and a counselor might be very helpful for all of you.

I lost my mother 5 years ago Sept 4th, the day after her Birthday to breast cancer. She was 56. I still think about her everyday and miss her.

 

[Deelight]

I am so sorry for your loss you sister looked so happy and full of life.

ILMS I lost my mum when I was 13 and it is still hard, time won''t heal your wounds but it will give your more mechinisms to cope and function with loss - I promise you there will come a time when you will be able to think about her and smile and giggle and be happy and not cry. Like Kaleigh said grief is a process and seeing a professional to talk about it helps immensley with healing.

My thoughts and prayers are with your family.