Financial responsibility for a fifteen year old?

[Upgradable]

I''d love to have input from my fellow PSers.

Our daughter is fifteen (at least until December) and we are picking up a car for her today. She''s a good kid with responsible friends. However, she''s pretty much a money sieve. She has regular chores and responsibilities around the house, but we''ve been pretty lax in structuring an allowance. We pretty much give her cash ($20 or $40 at a time) once or twice a week. Her "expenses" include lunches and hanging out with friends at the mall.

Since the car is arriving today, we''re planning on sitting down with her and enumerating the cost of owning a car including tags, insurance, gas, etc. Although we''re going to be covering the insurance costs while she''s in school, we feel strongly that she (and we) need to be more structured and disciplined in her finances.

We''re considering getting her an account with a debit card. After sitting with her and making a budget, we''ll load an appropriate amount of money ($100?) into the account. It is then her responsibility to monitor this amount to make it last until the end of the month. Any additional earned money from babysitting or dog walking will be handled as usual: she puts half into her savings and the rest is hers to use as she wishes.

Does this sound like a reasonable plan to help her develop good financial skills. Is there anything I''m missing, or a lapse in judgement here? I''d love to hear other parents'' strategies!

 

[Pandora II]

You can drive a car at 15???

I think a set allowance paid into an account with the stipulation that when it is gone that is it till the next month is a great idea. However that does mean holding firm when you get the whole ''I ran out but I need to go to this party and so I need to buy a gift/shoes/dress etc'' - trust me, I have a much younger sister and this is exactly what happened when my parents tried the fixed allowance. My dad held firm, but mother always caved in...

 

[Ara Ann]

Ummm...wow...a car at 16? That''s a lot of responsibility for such a young girl. My son is 19 and still doesn''t have his own car (he has one, but it needs repairs before it can be driven). He has been in school, but we won''t ''give'' him a car until he can pay for it. He hasn''t been able to land a job that pays enough to get his car repaired and on the road and he''s not been saving enough, so his car is in our garage. Nothing will drain a kids account faster than having a car. The real lesson in financial responsibility comes from making them earn the car in the first place, not by giving it to them and giving them money too and then expecting them to spend it wisely.

 

[Upgradable]

She currently has her permit and will be getting her license in December. The agreement for the car was that she'd pay half and we'd pay the other half. She/we have been putting money into her savings account since she was little. She came up with close to $2400 dollars.

We decided to get the car now while we would still be riding with her during her permit. That way she has supervised practice with the vehicle, we feel comfortable with her driving it, and she can take her test in this car.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

I got a car when I was 16. The deal was that I had to pay for the gas. ALL OF IT. No borrowing money from them. I also paid for the maintenance like oil changes and regular stuff like that. When I got to college I had to pay for the car every month.

Ara Ann- I agree that your son might not yet deserve a car, but sometimes it''s a lot easier on parents when their children do get a car- I had to pick my brother and sister up from school everyday junior/senior year of high school, and then I could also drive to my own sports practices, babysitting, other jobs, and school events etc. While you make a good point, the OP thinks her daughter IS responsible enough.

 

[Camille]

Oh Up you are going to hate my post

my DD is close in age but ours already knows I''m against teen driving, too much responsability.
''giving'' car/money sends confusing signals imho, teens DON''T really get it until they actually HAVE a job.

 

[Ara Ann]

Date: 10/31/2009 12:22:03 PM
Author: Upgradable
She currently has her permit and will be getting her license in December. The agreement for the car was that she''d pay half and we''d pay the other half. She/we have been putting money into her savings account since she was little. She came up with close to $2400 dollars.


We decided to get the car now while we would still be riding with her during her permit. That way she has supervised practice with the vehicle, we feel comfortable with her driving it, and she can take her test in this car.

Sorry, I didn''t seem to sound harsh in my first post, DH is ready to go out of the door and I am rushing around to get ready, but wanted to apologize for sounding cold.


Good to hear your DD has contributed to the purchase of the car! Another way to teach her about the ongoing responsibilities is having her earn money if she ''runs out.'' - Have her do extra things for you, or whatever, so she has a sense of working for it. Many teens have a difficult time with the concept of earning money...of working for it. Does she already have ''chores''?


With our son, he did have opportunities to save toward his having his car repaired, but chose not to use the money wisely. He''s learning that lesson now, but we feel we would not have done him any favors by getting his car on the road for him, which would incur more expenses.


And I do know sometimes having an extra driver is easier for the parents and can also teach the young drivers responsibility, but that wasn''t so in our case. And what is easier is not always better for the kids in the long run either....depends on the kids.


Uppy, I hope your daughter does really well with her new car...just be prepared for her to blow her money a few times before she gets the hang of budgeting.

 

[purrfectpear]

When I was a teen parents typically gave you a used car sometime between 16 to 18. They let you be on the family insurance plan, but you had to take care of gas and oil changes yourself. Almost all of us had an afterschool/weekend job and the money was ours to do with as we pleased. No allowance since we were working. If we budgeted poorly and ran out of gas money there was always a friend or two who didn''t have cars that would chip in so we could get where we wanted to go. That worked pretty well.

 

[drk]

Back in the late 80s/early 90s when I was in high school, I think I got $10 a week allowance. Nothing more than that. My Mom would shop for school clothes for the year with me in Sept, and I almost never got much, or brand name anything. I did a lot of babysitting, and saved all that money. I had a couple close friends who lived at opposite sides of the city to me, and none of us were into the party scene. I took lunch to school every day, and maybe bought fries once a semester. I graduated high school at 17. I was never given a car, though I was allowed to borrow one of my parent's cars occasionally, usually to pick my brother up from band practice or some party he'd been drinking at.
I never asked them for extra money, and had a reasonable amount saved from summer jobs (worked at a university engineering lab after grades 12 and 13) and the babysitting. Of course, I rarely spent my money on anything other than books (yep, I was/am a geek).

There was never any expectation that my parents would give me a car. I did get a little peeved when they gave my brother one 2 years later when he went off to university at 18.

Best thing my Dad ever did (besides take me comparison grocery shopping as a little kid, which made me frugal to this day) was to sit down and make a budget with me when I went away to university. We came up with the categories, and tried to come up with reasonable monthly/yearly numbers for each. I had won some scholarships, which I was expected to put towards my education. Since that paid for a significant portion of my yearly budget, my Dad would give me the money for the rest at the start of the year. What I earned from summer jobs was mine to keep (or did I contribute part of that too?) and what I didn't spend of my budgeted money for the year was also mine to keep. We reassessed the budget each year, but I was always able to come in under budget and increase my savings.

I agree that you should sit down with your daughter and come up with a budget. $40-$80 a week seems like a lot of money for lunches and clothes and social stuff, and I don't really think that you as parents should be paying that much for her. If she can always get more from you, she might end up one of those people with no ability to ration their money, who end up with horrid credit card debt because they're used to impulse buying, rather than saving up for something they want. (I've never had a credit card bill I couldn't pay off in full that month.) Put the cell phone, gas money, clothing, entertainment etc into the budget. Decide what you think is a reasonable amount for you to pay for her clothes for each school year, and if she "needs" those designer jeans, she'll have to come up with the cash herself.

If you think one meal at the school cafeteria a week is reasonable, budget for that, and then provide her with lunch stuff at home that she can take along. She'll probably end up eating healthier, and will learn to save a lot of money in the long run that way too. I made it through 3 years of med school and 5 of residency without ever buying a meal at the hospital cafeteria. The only time I bought food on call was on my internal medicine rotation where the whole team would order takeout together. Or occasionally my DH would buy takeout and come share a meal with me. I never bought a lunch, ever.

How you handle her and her money as a teenager will set the tone for the rest of her life. If anything, I'm too frugal, and my DH is more generous, so he's helping me get over that a little. I still like to see a nice big balance sitting in my bank account, and wouldn't go into debt for anything but our first house purchase. Even for that, we're able to put 1/3 down, and expect to pay the mortgage off within the next 5 years, if all goes according to plan. Making her life easier now by giving her lots of money won't help her in the long run.

Good luck!
ETA - account with debit card to hold the monthly allowance sounds like a good idea. I think in university my Dad gave me his contribution divided up into part at the start of the first semester, part at the start of the second. Monthly deposits should help her get started with sticking to a budget, because it can be harder to stretch things out over 6 months to a year.

 

[soocool]

My DD will be 17 in December and has been driving since June. She will be getting a car (definitely not new either) sometime early next year and knows that this is her birthday present. She doesn''t have a parking space at the highschool (she is a junior) so there is no rush for her own car at this point.

She has been getting an allowance since she was 6 and currently gets $100.00 per month. She gives beginner piano lessons and has 4 students and earns $15.00/half hour so she makes an additional $60.00 per week. She works during the summer only as she has enough on her plate this junior year. She has also saved every penny she earned this summer. She also volunteers during the school year and summer. She also tutors math and Spanish and earns $20/hr, but this fluctuates as per need of the student.

She gets a clothing allowance twice a year and it has to cover everything head to toe. Anything additional and she has to save up for it. I do not cave in.

DD also has household chores which is required and is not paid for doing them.

Out of everything she earns and gets in allowance she saves a quite bit more than she spends. She learns to buy things when they are on sale and has truly learned the value of a dollar. By using cash she has a better sense of what money she has and doesn''t have. I believe that is why today everyone accepts credit and debit cards, because stores know you will spend more than if you had the cash on you instead. When I applied for my first credit card when I was in my 20s and it was difficult to get one without proving your ability to pay. So I first got a Macy''s card and after paying it off faithfully, I applied and got a Visa card.

When your daughter doesn''t have the money she will have to learn patience and determine if the purchase is a necessity or a luxury. I myself do not use debit cards and
don''t know if using one will actually teach her about spending wisely

 

[Upgradable]

Great suggestions!! Thanks drk. Sounds like you developed strong skills. That''s what we''re looking for, and balance. I really appreciate everyone''s input.... whether you agree with our approach or not!

 

[packrat]

Hey Uppy!

Mom and dad bought me and my brother each our first car. One of my Uncles was a mechanic so he checked the car over. We got a full tank of gas, insurance paid for the 1st 6 months. I got an ''86 Colt (I was 16 1/2, it was the summer after my Sophomore year, so...''91 I think). They spent $1000. I''m not sure if that included the insurance etc..I''m almost positive it did. The conditions were: Get a job, pay your own gas and insurance and maintenance, keys taken away if any tickets were received, no drinking etc. Any money borrowed for gas up until I had a job was written down and expected to be paid back. If we didn''t have any tickets and got good grades (nothing less than a B) they would pay 1/2 the 6 months insurance premiums while we were in school.

We got an allowance for a little while-$3/week. It went to $5/week and then it was abandoned b/c we were just expected to help out and do our share around the house/yard. Before we got our cars/jobs, if we needed something, like a new pair of jeans or shoes etc, mom would allow us to shop somewhere more expensive than Kmart. That was what we got for doing extra chores etc.

I don''t spose we''ll be nearly so strict as my parents were. Even adults would stare at us with their jaws hanging open when we''d talk about what our chores were and how many hours a week we worked plus went to high school.

You could try it like you described it above, Uppy, and if it doesn''t work, there''s nothing wrong w/sitting down w/her and saying, "Look, we tried it this way, and it doesn''t seem to be working, so we need to come up w/a better solution" It could work out just fine!

I think it''s hard to find the right balance.

 

[drk]

Soocool - I sure hope my future daughter turns out like yours when she''s 17. She sounds wonderful, and you must have done a great job raising her.

 

[NakedFinger]

My HS parking lot was pretty much a BMW, Mercedes, and Audi parking lot. I'd say 75% of the kids got a brand new car (luxury cars) and the rest got pretty kickin cars passed down to them. I'd say about half kids (one who had a Mercedes sl500) got in accidents. Never understood giving a brand new luxury car to an inexperience driver...but thats just me.

On my 14th birthday, my dad took me to get my working papers and I started working a part time job. I saved up an bought my first car for $1,000, paid for my own insurance and my own gas. Did my parents have money to buy me a new car? Yes. Did I wish at the time they would buy me a new car? Yes. But buying that car, with my own money, that I saved up and worked hard for, meant so much to me, and really taught me the value of money and working hard. I had a full time job through HS and my "career" at 18 while going to school. I never rented, moved out and *bought* my first house just before turning 21, now have another home, and was pulling in six figures before I turned 25. All of my HS friends, the same ones that got stuff handed to them, still live at home with their parents at 25, mooching off mom and dad, dont have jobs, and cant fend for themselves in the real world.

I'm not knocking getting a new car for your DD, and think its very sweet. And if handled correctly wont make her "spoiled". But I am just saying in my experience, not having anything just handed to me and being taught the value of money at such a young age, was the best thing my parents could have done for me.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I think a debit card is a great idea. It will help YOU keep better taps on how much "spending money" you give to her, and it will force her to really consider how much money she''s spending & what her priorities are... Especially because it''s so easy to swipe a little plastic card! My suggestion would be that you MUST BE FIRM about not giving her any additional money. If she wants a bit more, make her work a bit more for it, yanno? Did she spend it all at the mall and now needs gas? Make her mow the lawn and scrub the bathrooms for a $20 bill. My other recommendation would be to ask her how much she really NEEDS- Is she getting coffee? Giver her $5 instead of $10. A mean out? $10 instead of $20? Shopping? Does she *really* need $40? It''s so great that you want to teach her financial responsibility before it gets a bit out of hand.

My non-wealthy parents made life a bit too easy for both my Sis & I. It wasn''t until this year, about 2 months ago, that finally ALL ties were cut, for both of their daughters (23, 25). No insurance, no car payment, no rent, no groceries, no cell phones, no health coverage, etc. Even so, they still gave me a lump sum for my first real car purchase, and they''re flying FI & I to their hometown for Thanksgiving. They enabled & we took advantage. Their help comes from a good place, but as their child, I came to expect and rely on little handouts and when all ties were cut it was a total slap in the face. HS and College were fabulous, but looking back I feel guilty about how much money I took from them. Of course, they say they wouldn''t change anything... but I can tell you with 100% certainty that they are LOOOOVING the extra $$ now that we''re fully independent. When I call and groan about my $90 dentist bill, my mom chuckles and talks about their snazzy new fridge and weekend getaways

 

[Upgradable]

Date: 10/31/2009 1:55:16 PM
Author: NakedFinger
My HS parking lot was pretty much a BMW, Mercedes, and Audi parking lot. I''d say 75% of the kids got a brand new car (luxury cars) and the rest got pretty kickin cars passed down to them. I''d say about half kids (one who had a Mercedes sl500) got in accidents. Never understood giving a brand new luxury car to an inexperience driver...but thats just me.

On my 14th birthday, my dad took me to get my working papers and I started working a part time job. I saved up an bought my first car for $1,000, paid for my own insurance and my own gas. Did my parents have money to buy me a new car? Yes. Did I wish at the time they would buy me a new car? Yes. But buying that car, with my own money, that I saved up and worked hard for, meant so much to me, and really taught me the value of money and working hard. I had a full time job through HS and my ''career'' at 18 while going to school. I never rented, moved out and *bought* my first house just before turning 21, now have another home, and was pulling in six figures before I turned 25. All of my HS friends, the same ones that got stuff handed to them, still live at home with their parents at 25, mooching off mom and dad, dont have jobs, and cant fend for themselves in the real world.

I''m not knocking getting a new car for your DD, and think its very sweet. And if handled correctly wont make her ''spoiled''. But I am just saying in my experience, not having anything just handed to me and being taught the value of money at such a young age, was the best thing my parents could have done for me.

That''s what we''re after! The car is a 2003 Kia Optima with 95,000 miles. For those who don''t know, I have a 17 yr old with Down syndrome, so sometimes my mobility and spontaneity are limited. I also don''t like to leave Erin "bumming" for rides to and from activities. I know how far to trust her. Not so with everyone.

You all are helping me looking at this from multiple sides. Thanks!

 

[drk]

Upgradable - Sure sounds like you and your DH have your hearts in the right place, and that, given what you deal with with her older brother, she might need one more than some other kids might, if only to give YOU more flexibility. I''m sure you''ll be able to get a good system set in place.

My parents put a very high value on academic success, and I doubt I''d have been allowed to have a part-time job. Babysitting Friday and Sat nights earned me enough of an income to cover my meagre expenses. I can''t say I had many chores around the house, beyond pick stuff up before the cleaning lady came, or loading and unloading the dishwasher. That ended up being embarassing for me, since my roommates had to teach me how to clean a toilet and mop a floor when we moved into a house together at 18. I think my Mom taught me how to do laundry before I went away to university. It would have been good for me to have a little more responsibility around the house, I''d say.

I took public transit a heck of a lot (ie the bus), and to this day (at nearly 35) have never owned a car. I''ve always lived in cities with a reasonably decent public transit system, and since leaving for university, have done a heck of a lot of bike riding. At least for me, a car wasn''t the only option.

 

[radiantquest]

I worked starting at 14. Bought all my cars myself and paid insurance, gas all of that on my own. Now that my hubby and I own my car together I take better care of it. I must be the opposite than everyone else. When I bought cars that were all mine I did what I want. Now that he is part owner I take better care of it and overpay and send the payments early. When they are mine I didn''t care as much. I felt that it was mine and I could treat it however I wanted. So I guess that when it is given to me or partly given to me I appreciate it more. To me, if I bought a car for $700 and I want to not get regular oil changes than I can. I wouldn''t think anything of a spill in a car that is all mine, but if it is in my current car I freak out because I don''t want hubby to know that I am not taking care of it. When it is mine I don''t have anyone to answer to or feel guilty about squandering.

 

[PinkTower]

I have a daughter the same age as yours, and I agree with everything you are doing.
I think it really depends on the maturity of the child. Our girl is a straight A student, in AP classes, plays sports, babysits,has her Red Cross lifeguard certification already, and gets her own self up in the morning. I feel she has demonstrated maturity.
Also, in order for me to be at work on time, I have to drop her off at school while it is still dark in the mornings. She sometimes has to wait for me after school until I am able to pick her up.

The car will be just for driving in the immediate area.

I would not allow a teenager to have a car who lacked initiative, or had less than excellent grades, or who would not get themselves up in the morning, etc.

Of course, should our daughter''s grades slip, or any other problems arise, she will lose the car.

I sense from your post that you feel the same way.

Hearty congratulatons to your daughter for hard work and accomplishment, and to you for bringing up a competent teenager.

 

[cara]

I guess I''ve got a different attitude than the rest of the people here. Depending on your daughter''s schedule and activities, a car may be a luxury or toy or it may be ''necessity'' in the sense that it saves you a bunch of chauffeuring and enables her to help the household or herself by getting to a summer job or an afterschool activity, etc, and helps her learn a needed skill. It is pretty funny that a Brit (pandora) is appalled by the young driving, which is in quite a contrast to our drinking rules - remember we Americans supposedly don''t let our ''kids'' have a pint until they''re 21! Just like drinking, I think there is a big advantage to teaching your kid to drive while they are still stationed at home and under your supervision. College, at least the kind you live at, is not a great place to learn to drive. Look at your daughter''s overall maturity and how a car would fit into her life, and if you think it is the right call for her and your family, buy a safe moderately priced car and teach her as responsibly as you can.

My mother had no interest in buying me a car and I had no expectation of receiving one for my sixteenth, until a few months before my birthday when she realized how much easier her life would be if I had a car and could drive myself around and occasionally run errands or pick up my younger siblings.... and that weekend, I had a car. They bought a beefy old gas-guzzler that was cheap to purchase but expensive to operate. I went to school pretty far away from home (22 mi) and shared driving duties most days with a friend, but even still my parents provided a fair bit of gas money since it cost about $3/day to drive in. The car let me do some afterschool activities that would have otherwise been impossible or required hours of my parent''s time. I also took some afterschool jobs or summer jobs that didn''t pay enough to make them terribly worthwhile if I was paying for gas but were still a good experience in themselves.

But even if you buy the car and cover insurance and subsidize some of the operating costs, there is still the opportunity to teach her some responsibility if she has to budget for her gas usage and oil changes and other maintenance, and she is responsible for budgeting the money. I think $100/mo is quite reasonable but you and your husband should decide on what that is supposed to cover and what unexpected things you will cover that she is not expected to pay for with her allowance or earnings. For example, I don''t think that $100/mo is appropriate to cover all her gas expenses, oil changes AND needed repairs if you buy her an old car, for example. A new set of tires could eat up half her annual allowance, and a major repair like a transmission or engine could be over $1000. Now if she is supposed to budget for needed major repairs using her babysitting money, etc., you and your husband and her should sit down and talk about how to go about that and make sure that you have reasonable expectations of her AND that she understands those expectations. Cars are expensive!

If you do give her a debit card, make sure you explain that people are known to spend more using plastic cards than cash - its a psychological effect - and that as her card is a debit card she will have to keep track of her checking account balance and make sure to not overdraw it. A bank with a good online system is a good idea so she can check her balance regularly. Make sure that she keeps her long term ''savings'' money in a different account and can''t readily drain that money! Other things you can do are to have her set up an IRA and deposit 10% of her earnings, leaving 40% for non-retirement savings and 50% for her to spend. This would help her both get in the habit and take advantage of her looooong time horizon. She may have to report her earnings and possibly pay taxes on them to legally get them into an IRA, which many people don''t follow the letter of the law on for babysitting or dogwalking earnings. But I know 30-somethings that haven''t started saving for retirement, and if making your daughter pay taxes on her babysitting money and saving for retirement as a 15 yro helps start her on the habit, it might be worth it.

 

[PinkTower]

Pandora,
Yes, in the US, the driving age is set by the state, not the federal government.
In fact, I beleive you can drive in some states (Arkansas comes immediately to mind?) at the age of fourteen.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Can she work a PT job to pay for her car insurance? Isn't that the typical way it's done? That shows responsibility.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 10/31/2009 4:17:51 PM
Author: Pink Tower
Pandora,
Yes, in the US, the driving age is set by the state, not the federal government.
In fact, I beleive you can drive in some states (Arkansas comes immediately to mind?) at the age of fourteen.

I'm really horrified I'm afraid. 14 is a child not an adult - what parent would let their young child loose in something as dangerous as a vehicle???

Here you can't even start driving lessons until 17 and in most of Europe it's 18. Our driving test is extremely difficult - I don't actually know anyone who passed first time. You cannot take a car to school - and the school I went to you couldn't get a lift with an under-21 without parental permission (and that was when I was 1.

I guess it's different rules, but I'd rather my 18 year old was drinking than my 16 year old driving. Mind you, at over $8 a gallon, most kids here couldn't afford to even if they or their parents wanted them to.

Here in London a fair number of my friends don't even have licences - no point as you can't get a parking permit in most areas anymore...

 

[packrat]

For clarification, kids can''t drive by themselves at 14. They have to have an adult w/them. When I was in school, you got a permit at 14 and were only allowed to drive w/an adult over 23 I think. At 15 you could get a school permit, and drive by yourself to school and back, and to sports functions and back. Not to work or out to scoop the loop. At 16 we got regular licenses and could drive alone. Now tho, here anyway, they have curfew according to ages, and now they don''t get a regular license at 16, it''s called a..heck I don''t remember what it''s called but it''s not a full blown license don''t think. They can''t get that until 18 and they have to log so many hours w/an adult in different driving conditions, night, day, city, out of town etc. I''m not sure all the specifics of it.

I didn''t even know about any of it..but when I did insurance, I had to call a couple people about kids in the household getting close to driving age and they said they weren''t getting their "intermediate" or whatever license, they wouldn''t be driving until they got their adult license at 18 and I was like Huh? what?

 

[princesss]

Date: 10/31/2009 5:00:58 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 10/31/2009 4:17:51 PM

Author: Pink Tower

Pandora,

Yes, in the US, the driving age is set by the state, not the federal government.

In fact, I beleive you can drive in some states (Arkansas comes immediately to mind?) at the age of fourteen.

I''m really horrified I''m afraid. 14 is a child not an adult - what parent would let their young child loose in something as dangerous as a vehicle???

Here you can''t even start driving lessons until 17 and in most of Europe it''s 18. Our driving test is extremely difficult - I don''t actually know anyone who passed first time. You cannot take a car to school - and the school I went to you couldn''t get a lift with an under-21 without parental permission (and that was when I was 1.


I guess it''s different rules, but I''d rather my 18 year old was drinking than my 16 year old driving. Mind you, at over $8 a gallon, most kids here couldn''t afford to even if they or their parents wanted them to.


Here in London a fair number of my friends don''t even have licences - no point as you can''t get a parking permit in most areas anymore...

Having had run-ins with 17-year-olds who are convinced they are immortal and are behind the wheel of $60k SUVs, I''m inclined to agree. However, the US is so spread out and has little to no reliable public transport outside of major cities, that in many cases it really is necessary - if mom and dad are both working, and the kid has to get from school, sports, and/or a job it''s not always possible to find rides or catch a bus. And when there are multiple kids, the complications increase. It''s definitely not something I like (especially having gone to HS in Singapore where the idea of driving at 16 was ludicrous and you didn''t *need* a car at all), but unfortunately without the infrastructure to back up a higher driving age it just won''t happen.

 

[JulieN]

$100/month hardly sounds like a money sieve to me.

I think your plan looks fine. The important part about teenager responsibility is about STICKING to the plan, rather than sweating the details of the plan.

 

[Haven]

I think she''ll only develop good money management skills when the money she is managing is her own. I would encourage her to take a very part-time job and to use that money for her gas. That way she has to work in order to use her car.

I wasn''t allowed to get my own car until I was 17, and by that time I had been working for several years. I bought an old Chevy Blazer for $1,000 cash, and I paid for all my own gas and insurance and such. I went to high school with a lot of spoiled and very privileged kids, many of whom had nicer cars than I will ever drive. Guess who took the best care of her car? I did. It was mine, I paid for it, and I was responsible for its maintenance and well being.

All that being said, the horrors I saw while teaching high school kids (horrors large and small) convinced me that *I* do not believe teenagers are mature enough to operate vehicles. When I have children of my own they are not going to be driving until at least the age of 18. Teens simply don''t have the ability to maturely weigh the consequences of their choices while behind the wheel, regardless of how mature they seem in other areas of their lives.

 

[swingirl]

I have a 19 and 22 year old. The one thing I learned is that even though they get their drivers licenses they still aren't very good drivers. So monitor the amount of driving and still drive with your DD to make sure she isn't picking up any bad habits like forgetting the turn signal, speeding, etc.

Also expect at least one good ding in the first few years.

I think $100 a month is good place to start. The debit card worked great for us. I wanted my kids to have enough available spending money for emergencies.

And regarding 14 year old drivers, they usually have some extenuating circumstance like they have to drive a family member to the doctor or their parent is blind. Or they need to run farm equipment on the family farm. It is pretty difficult to get a drivers license at 14 in an urban area and even then it is very restricted.

 

[Octavia]

The area where you live makes a huge difference, IMO. I grew up in the middle of nowhere (20+ mInute drive for milk and bread) and my parents got me a car when I was 16. I was close to 17 when I got my license, though. There was never any question that it was a necessity; my parents saved SO MUCH time and gas once they didn''t have to chauffer me anymore, it was unbelievable. They paid for the car and maintanence, and covered my insurance for as long as I was a student, but made it clear that if I ever got a ticket or they heard that I''d been operating the car unsafely, they''d drop me immediately and I''d be on my own for all car expenses. I paid for gas myself (in the days of $0.98/gallon...). This was the norm among my friends because it was pretty much necessary, except for a couple of them who lived in town.

DH, on the other hand, always lived in large cities and didn''t even get his license until this year, at 30.

Anyway, regarding your daughter''s finances, I think your plan is reasonable. But I''m curious about why her lunches (I''m assuming school lunches) are "expenses" -- aren''t they something you''d pay for anyway? And I don''t know how far I''d go with tracking her expenses, because if she gets a set amount each month and nothing more once it''s gone, she''ll learn to budget and prioritize on her own soon enough...

 

[April20]

Upgradable, here''s my two cents. I understand getting your daughter a car at 16 for many reasons, even though 16 year old drivers scare the snot out of me now that I''m older.

I think it''s great she''s saved up money to help pay for it. I think making her responsible for expenses related to the car and helping to teach her the value of money, especially as it relates to vehicle related expenses will serve her well in the long run. As she gets older, she will have more and more and more expenses and responsiblities and it''s never too early for her to be accustomed to this.

My parents bought my first car. I got it right when I turned 16. Looking back, I can''t believe they did it. Money was always very tight and I''m awed that they figured out a way for it to happen. I grew up in a rural area- it was 8 miles to "town". A car was a necessity if I was to have a job to pay for gas, insurance, etc. About three months after I got it, someone ran a red light, hitting me and totalling the car. I went nearly a year without a car, borrowing my Mom''s car when she picked us up from school to rush to my job. It wasn''t easy at all. My grandfather found me a car the following summer and while he bought it for me (cost all of $1000), I had to make payments to him every month. I think I appreciated that car more than I did my first car even though it was older and not nearly as nice as the first one. He went with me when I bought my next two cars, but I paid for those. He signed with me for the first one I bought myself and by the time the second one came around four years later, I had enough credit to do it on my own. As an adult, I am thankful for what things I had to pay for as a teenager as it''s made me a much more reasonable person when it comes to money realted matters as an adult.