Family issues influencing engagement plans

[teacup]

This may be too much like the "Parent Talk" thread, but I have some other questions I'd like to ask. Does anyone have parents (or other close loved ones) who are in the middle of a divorce/separation? How have you handled this situation in terms of your pending engagement? Does it at all determine your timeline? I ask because my parents' separation has definitely influenced my ideas about timing. I feel like it would be very hard on my mom if I got engaged right now. That being said, I have no idea when she might feel better about it. I'm trying so hard to be sensitive, but we don't talk about her situation AT ALL, so I have no idea how she is actually feeling. I don't think I will have any way of knowing how much the separation is affecting her, and if/when it becomes easier for her. I'd love to hear different perspectives on this situation, since I don't know anyone IRL who can relate.

 

[Roxy]

It's so sweet and thoughtful of you to be concerned, but in truth, you can't really worry about the timing of your engagement and if your mom is like most moms, she wouldn't WANT you to!!

What your mom's going through is not going to "get better". The separation will lead to divorce and then there are family events where they still have to be cordial, even though one of them has started dating someone else, etc etc etc. Unfortunately, it's not like a cold or the flu, this is truly a new state of being for your mom, so the "timing" will never be right if that's what you're waiting for.

But if your mom is like most mom's, I'd bet that she'd actually LOVE the diversion of having something wonderful to focus on with you! She can use your engagement and wedding planning sort of like a happy "escape" from all of the turmoil going on. I know this is reallly tough, so I just wanted to give you another perspective.

Good luck

 

[luckyerialc]

It's so sweet and thoughtful of you to be concerned, but in truth, you can't really worry about the timing of your engagement and if your mom is like most moms, she wouldn't WANT you to!!

What your mom's going through is not going to "get better". The separation will lead to divorce and then there are family events where they still have to be cordial, even though one of them has started dating someone else, etc etc etc. Unfortunately, it's not like a cold or the flu, this is truly a new state of being for your mom, so the "timing" will never be right if that's what you're waiting for.

But if your mom is like most mom's, I'd bet that she'd actually LOVE the diversion of having something wonderful to focus on with you! She can use your engagement and wedding planning sort of like a happy "escape" from all of the turmoil going on. I know this is reallly tough, so I just wanted to give you another perspective.

Good luck

That is really sweet of you to be concerned! You sound like such a great daughter. I agree that your mother would probably LOVE the diversion of your engagement and planning a wedding! It can turn into such a great bonding experience for the two of you. Even if the experience is surrounding your upcoming wedding, it will still be a great distraction. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now, it's tough... Hugs!!!

 

[teacup]

Thanks so much for your thoughts, ladies! It really helps to hear other people reiterate the positive things that I can so easily forget.