Explanation of Patchy Participation

[Jambalaya]

Hi! Just want to explain/apologize for my VERY patchy participation on PS and my tendence to suddenly reply to a thread with no warning. For some time now, I've been experiencing an absolute perfect storm of midlife troubles - all the usual suspects: bereavement, menopause, relationship breakdown, relocation caused by that, terminal illness in those close, being overworked, depression caused by it all - and it's not going to be over for a while yet.

But! There are many mitigating factors and lots to be grateful for. Not looking for sympathy, just explaining why I disappear for months at a time and then reappear briefly. In case anyone minds.

Soldiering onward and looking forward to some peace after the midlife storm! (I'm assuming there will be peace at some point after the storms of middle age!)

 

[kenny]

Thanks for posting.
I wish nothing but the best for you.

Take good care.

 

[Piper70]

I get it! I hunker down when life is a LOT. I sometimes read posts but don’t respond.

 

[tyty333]

Sending hugs @Jambalaya . It doesn't take too much going on to put me in a minor tailspin where I just can't deal with anything or
anybody else.

Hope things calm down for you soon.

 

[VRBeauty]

Hugs to you, Jambalaya. I hope you reach calmer waters soon.

 

[Jambalaya]

Thank you!

Due to being in transition and various losses, I don't have any plans for Thanksgiving this year. I'm actually fine with spending it alone - I like my neighborhood so will probably go out for a bar dinner and bump into people, and will go for an invigorating walk - but I'm so embarrassed to tell people at work and far-away family members when they ask what I'm doing. There's a huge stigma to spending the holidays alone. And there shouldn't be! I recently spent my birthday alone and it was totally fine, but I had to lie about it, otherwise people have this strong urge to "fix" you and it makes them very uncomfortable! So they kindly invite you to be with them, but often they live quite a few miles away and have noisy kids, and I'd rather be in my own home! With everything that's going on, it feels like a respite. But I think people who are extroverts and have big families etc. don't get it, and they're not OK with you not being OK, even though you are OK!

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Sorry you are having a tough time. This is what I tell myself. It only one day. It will be over quickly. When they ask what are your plans, just say you are undecided what you're going to do. After all, choosing a pub-type bar for dinner is complicated. You are undecided as of now.

Annette

 

[Calliecake]

@Jambalaya, No need to apologize. It happens to everyone from time to time. Sometimes life just gets too busy or draining and we need to take a break and recharge. Always take care of yourself and know you will be welcomed back with open arms here.

 

[missy]

Hi @Jambalaya glad to see you here and I think most of us understand. Life can be messy and it is certainly complicated. I always say PS is a nice distraction and when one doesn't have the energy time or desire to read or post here do not worry because (hopefully) PS will be here when you want to come back. Hope things go more smoothly. And we also have no Thanksgiving plans. After many decades of hosting Thanksgiving we stopped around the pandemic and honestly while it was lovely to host the holiday it's even nicer to have a peaceful holiday. For us. Happy autumn and be well

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Hi! Just want to explain/apologize for my VERY patchy participation on PS and my tendence to suddenly reply to a thread with no warning. For some time now, I've been experiencing an absolute perfect storm of midlife troubles - all the usual suspects: bereavement, menopause, relationship breakdown, relocation caused by that, terminal illness in those close, being overworked, depression caused by it all - and it's not going to be over for a while yet.

But! There are many mitigating factors and lots to be grateful for. Not looking for sympathy, just explaining why I disappear for months at a time and then reappear briefly. In case anyone minds.

Soldiering onward and looking forward to some peace after the midlife storm! (I'm assuming there will be peace at some point after the storms of middle age!)

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Good to see you around again. Live Is hard and people (most) are just doing the best they can. Contribute as much or as little, in whatever capacity you can that makes you happy. We are here for it.

 

[Begonia]

Hi.
Bloody h*ll, when it rains, it pours. Hoping for smoother sailing ahead for you and yours! Nice to see you back.

 

[Rockdiamond]

Here’s hoping things move in a positive direction!!
Holidays can be fun. But I’ve always felt that we should celebrate every day. So if a Thanksgiving or Christmas isn’t some sort of movie perfect party…. Feh.
I’m grateful for this forum and for you Jambalaya!!
Having a healthy distraction/ discussion is more important than ever.

 

[Kim N]

It's great to see you back, Jambalaya. I enjoy reading your posts. I hope things calm down for you soon.

 

[jeaniefish]

I just “liked” every response on here..only because I couldn’t find a “love” button!
Jambalaya, your Thanksgiving plans for a pub dinner sound pretty fun to me. We are all supposed to have this (unrealistic) expectation that the holidays will be like a Hallmark commercial. The upcoming holiday season is going to be really tough for many people, for many different reasons.
The thing I tell myself when I’m going through a rough patch is that I have a roof over my head, nobody is trying to bomb my house, I know where my next meal is coming from and I can feed my pets and even help some other people feed theirs. Focusing on what you can do to help someone ( perhaps even a 4 legged someone?) might be a welcome distraction for you . Just a suggestion, sent with positive thoughts for brighter days ahead for you!

 

[Garnetgirl]

I’m sorry sorry to hear about all that you are going through right now @Jambalaya. When it rains, it pours, and often it’s just too much all at once. I hope things calm down and your life situation improves for you soon.

 

[lambskin]

We have several charities that host thanksgiving dinners and or lunches for veterans, homeless, disabled, military away from home etc. These places are always looking to help. If you don’t want to be alone for the holidays you may check to see if volunteers are needed. A nice way to meet folks too.