dragonfly411
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2007
- Messages
- 7,378
First and foremost, to let you all know SO and I are doing much much better than last year. That''s for darn sure. We run together now, and have been fishing a lot, and he''s learning to sit down through an entire movie, and I''ve magically fallen in love with football to the point that I watch MORE than just our home team (which is fun for him, b/c he likes to watch football). We take at least two nights out a week to either go do something one or the other wants, or to just sit and relax, no chores, no friends, no family, just us. We''ve done lots of talking about how we both have felt about things, where we see things going, and what we were feeling before, and things are back to being easy, just relaxed. We''re back to care free, easy going. SO is still recovering from his father''s death, and we talk about his dad regularly, and reminisce. Sometimes he''ll just stop.. and I know he''s remembering something and feeling sad, and I''m just there for him. I think it is helping him a lot.
This past week we had some serious talks about time lines, what we want to plan and when. I told him that I really and truly have not ever wanted him to spend a lifetime saving up for some big extravagant ring. We found a set that I am in love with and have set it aside, and it was very reasonable, so now he is going to save for a stone. The ring and "proposal" (I say that b/c we have always said we''re marrying and to our family we are FDIL/FSIL) will happen later this year. We also discussed and decided on a tentative date for a wedding
which we are planning for 2013. I felt like this would be a good timeline to a) plan, but b) let us both be at a comfortable age. SO is slightly younger and has a deep rooted phobia of marrying young, and marriages not working out. His mom married his father young and they divorced, she remarried, divorced again and has been through several boyfriends since. His father never re married, he has an uncle that divorced. The only lasting marriage he''s seen is his father''s parents... otherwise he has never intimately experienced a lasting marriage, and I think that has scared him since he was very young. So we both decided that 26/27 would be a good age range for us, we''d be financially secure, we can build on savings between now and then, and it will give us time to grow and mature a bit more together before we actually have the ceremony. I want lots of planning time anyways. So spring 2013 is the tentative. It also leaves us time to enjoy marriage for a few years before .... that big step of kids lol.
He seems very excited about it, and has talked about the where, and who, and what. So that is good to know. He did express his concern over taking that step at such a young age when I first started asking, but when I clarified time he seemed much more at ease, which I think is good.
So.
There we have it lol. I think too that both of us had some frustration over things just standing still, falling into a daily routine, living in a house, and not really living like a couple in love. We were just doing the day to day, and then doing our own things. I think everyone has to remember not to slip into a rut at times, and to bring the spark and romance into things. I''ve been cooking a lot in my spare time too and SO has loved tasting the new things I have come up with. We jog at our local duck pond a lot, and are also doing dinner with my grandparents a few times a month. Like I said, we''re taking a few nights a week to just be us, without doing chores, or talking about bills, or what needs to be done to what. Just us. This seems to have helped us to really enjoy our time together more, and still be ok with doing our own thing too.
So.
YAY lol
Now I just have to make myself not go try on dresses, with a tentative "date" frame.
This past week we had some serious talks about time lines, what we want to plan and when. I told him that I really and truly have not ever wanted him to spend a lifetime saving up for some big extravagant ring. We found a set that I am in love with and have set it aside, and it was very reasonable, so now he is going to save for a stone. The ring and "proposal" (I say that b/c we have always said we''re marrying and to our family we are FDIL/FSIL) will happen later this year. We also discussed and decided on a tentative date for a wedding
He seems very excited about it, and has talked about the where, and who, and what. So that is good to know. He did express his concern over taking that step at such a young age when I first started asking, but when I clarified time he seemed much more at ease, which I think is good.
So.
There we have it lol. I think too that both of us had some frustration over things just standing still, falling into a daily routine, living in a house, and not really living like a couple in love. We were just doing the day to day, and then doing our own things. I think everyone has to remember not to slip into a rut at times, and to bring the spark and romance into things. I''ve been cooking a lot in my spare time too and SO has loved tasting the new things I have come up with. We jog at our local duck pond a lot, and are also doing dinner with my grandparents a few times a month. Like I said, we''re taking a few nights a week to just be us, without doing chores, or talking about bills, or what needs to be done to what. Just us. This seems to have helped us to really enjoy our time together more, and still be ok with doing our own thing too.
So.
YAY lol
Now I just have to make myself not go try on dresses, with a tentative "date" frame.
300x240.png)