Elementary School age children and birthday parties

[Girlrocks]

Just curious of other parents with elementary school age kids...how much do you spend on a birthday gift for a classmate? I''m not talking about good friends or families that you hang out with...strictly a classmate of your child?

 

[Kaleigh]

This was long ago, but about $10?? If I found them on sale, would buy a boat load of them and always was at the ready...

I will say this is one thing I don''t miss. Gosh does it add up. Crazy.

 

[KimberlyH]

I would probably purchase a book for around $10-15 in that situation.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I have also heard $10-$15. For friends she has playdates with I spend $25-$35 depending on what I find.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 1/3/2010 11:30:20 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I have also heard $10-$15. For friends she has playdates with I spend $25-$35 depending on what I find.

Ditto.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

My mom used to stock up on gifts at sales when we were little. Then when my brothers or I were going to a friend''s party we''d get to go "shopping" in the gift box. I think this kept the cost per gift way lower, but we still could find something fun and appropriate for our friends.

 

[Girlrocks]

My oldest daughters (twins) had a birthday party this past Saturday, and I usually don''t buy gift cards at this age, but since it was just a few days past Christmas, I thought maybe the birthday child could save it and get something later that she wanted. We gave her a $25 gift card to a toy store, as well as a few other things thrown in the bag that totalled maybe $5 (socks, nail polish, lip gloss, etc.)...so $30 total from 2 children. I carpooled with another child there, and she gave a $25 gift card to a local store. I was starting to think that maybe I was cheap!

 

[Rachel9]

$20-25 close or not [trying to be fair & teach my kids that lol] since I know what a B-Day party costs

 

[steph72276]

I usually spend about $10-20 on a child from his class that I don't know well. I usually find great deals at Borders on books and little craft sets that are always a hit, so I stock up when I find something really cool.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

I set the limit at $10.

Each of my kids have been invited to an astounding number of birthday parties each year, so it adds up. I never have parties for my kids (only family ones) because it feels too much like a gift grab to me. It annoys me to no end that I spend more total on presents for kids that I don''t know than I do for my own kids'' birthdays!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Last year, combined, my kids were invited to over 20 parties!!! Yes, 20+. I spent between $15-20 per child. One year, though, my son was invited to a party and I asked the mom for gift ideas and everything was over $20, so I bought him a $25 gift. Later I learned that child and my son were not friends AT ALL. I had mistakenly thought they were aquantences.

This year, I'm giving out gift cards for $15 per child *and* I have my kids make the cards.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 1/4/2010 8:27:57 AM
Author: Girlrocks
My oldest daughters (twins) had a birthday party this past Saturday, and I usually don''t buy gift cards at this age, but since it was just a few days past Christmas, I thought maybe the birthday child could save it and get something later that she wanted. We gave her a $25 gift card to a toy store, as well as a few other things thrown in the bag that totalled maybe $5 (socks, nail polish, lip gloss, etc.)...so $30 total from 2 children. I carpooled with another child there, and she gave a $25 gift card to a local store. I was starting to think that maybe I was cheap!

Since you were basically giving gifts from two children, I think the amount you gave was perfect. One year, my sons had a combined party and we invited two kids from the same family and the mom spent about $50 total, giving one gift to each of my boys, and I felt really bad that she spent so much. Another friend who had two of her children go to that party, spent $30 total ($15 to each of my boys), which seemed more reasonable.

How old are your children? I found that there is a phase of between kindergarten and about 2nd grade where my boys were invited to TONS of parties, but now as my 3rd grader is growing older, he''s been invited to only parties hosted by close friends and I may loosen up on the $15 limit for those children.

 

[Girlrocks]

Date: 1/4/2010 1:07:55 PM
Author: MC

Date: 1/4/2010 8:27:57 AM
Author: Girlrocks
My oldest daughters (twins) had a birthday party this past Saturday, and I usually don''t buy gift cards at this age, but since it was just a few days past Christmas, I thought maybe the birthday child could save it and get something later that she wanted. We gave her a $25 gift card to a toy store, as well as a few other things thrown in the bag that totalled maybe $5 (socks, nail polish, lip gloss, etc.)...so $30 total from 2 children. I carpooled with another child there, and she gave a $25 gift card to a local store. I was starting to think that maybe I was cheap!

Since you were basically giving gifts from two children, I think the amount you gave was perfect. One year, my sons had a combined party and we invited two kids from the same family and the mom spent about $50 total, giving one gift to each of my boys, and I felt really bad that she spent so much. Another friend who had two of her children go to that party, spent $30 total ($15 to each of my boys), which seemed more reasonable.

How old are your children? I found that there is a phase of between kindergarten and about 2nd grade where my boys were invited to TONS of parties, but now as my 3rd grader is growing older, he''s been invited to only parties hosted by close friends and I may loosen up on the $15 limit for those children.

My daughters are in 4th grade, turning 10 this year.

The amount of birthday parties my kids get invited to is rediculous!!! My 3rd daughter started Kindergarten this year, so now it seems almost every weekend someone has a party invitation.

With my twins, even though they are in seperate classes, they are both still getting invited to the same parties. I have never had 1 instance where 1 girl was invited without her sister. I don''t know if the parents feel guilty or what, but they really shouldn''t because my daughters have seperate friends. This party was a classmate of one of them, but her sister was also invited. She really wasn''t even sure who the party was for!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 1/4/2010 2:02:31 PM
Author: Girlrocks
My daughters are in 4th grade, turning 10 this year.

The amount of birthday parties my kids get invited to is rediculous!!! My 3rd daughter started Kindergarten this year, so now it seems almost every weekend someone has a party invitation.

With my twins, even though they are in seperate classes, they are both still getting invited to the same parties. I have never had 1 instance where 1 girl was invited without her sister. I don't know if the parents feel guilty or what, but they really shouldn't because my daughters have seperate friends. This party was a classmate of one of them, but her sister was also invited. She really wasn't even sure who the party was for!

Kindergarten (as you probably know) is the year the parents attempt to establish roots for the children and also gives the parents a chance to see each other face-to-face which means TONS of invitations. My son invited all the boys in his class, plus a number of girls (only ones he's already friends with though) and we had more than 15 kids. Simply more than I could handle! Next year, I'll have him invite about 5 friends over.

For your twins, maybe establish a new routine where when both get invited to the same party, have only your daughter with the friend go and then tell the mom, you're other daughter has a prior commitment. It may actually relieve the parent by not having to keep both kids happy. I've been guilty of inviting the sibling only because I didn't want to hurt anyones feelings and as a result end up with too many kids to watch over.

ETA - Just a thought - I think by age 10, children have their good friends figured out and then it is appropriate to have them pick and choose which parties to attend. My son is 9 and didn't want to go to a party of a kid he didn't know very well and I shouldn't have made him.

 

[ericad]

My daughter is only 4 but she''s been in pre-school since age 2 1/2 and we have also been to many, many parties. We don''t accept all invitations - just the ones from kids she is close to if there are multiple parties in a given month, and I usually stick to under $20 for a gift.

We will be implementing a family rule that our daughter only gets a "friends" party every other year (and the in-between years will be family only parties).

For her 4th birthday, the first time we did a party with friends, she chose the zoo and said she didn''t want presents, so we rented out the carousel room and invited all the kids from her class (and siblings, grandparents, etc.) and asked that, in lieu of gifts, families pay their own admission to the zoo, join us for unlimited carousel rides, snacks and cake, then enjoy the afternoon at the zoo with their family. Instead of party bags we handed out $5 gift cards to each kid so they could choose something from the zoo store.

It turned out great and our daughter got to spend time with her friends at her favorite place on earth (plus we didn''t have to lug home gifts she doesn''t need, we supported the zoo and taught her lots of valuable lessons, not to mention parents didn''t have to run out for a gift.)

 

[vespergirl]

Usually around $15. Even for good friends, I won''t spend above $25.

 

[asscherisme]

I keep it under $20. I aim for closer to $15.

 

[Girlrocks]

MC-you''re right...sometimes I make my kids go to parties that they really don''t want to. Mostly because I feel bad for the child if I know not many people are going and then I feel bad responding with 2 more "no''s" or if the child really likes my child but the feeling isn''t mutual...I should let them decide now and stop feeling guilty.

Ericad-this past year, when I had a 3rd child entering public school, we also instituted the friend''s party every other year rule. And when we do have friends parties, I''m going to try to make it small and simple...I have spent over $500 for parties before and that''s outrageous...food, favors, moon bounce, face painter, clown, etc. This past year my oldest daughters got to each pick 2 friends for a sleepover and I took all 6 of them to an indoor pool (they were born in March) for a few hours. And then my 5 year old got to pick a few neighborhood friends to meet at our pool over the summer one afternoon for pizza and swimming, and since they all lived in our community I didn''t have to pay for them to get in!

 

[upgrade]

About $20- $25 Cdn. If I were in the US, I think I could do it for $15 but on average, things cost more here.