Dog Care Vent

[aprilcait]

Let me preface my post by saying that I am a big time dog lover. I grew up with dogs and can''t wait to get one of my own. The floppier and dopier the dog, the better.

My problem: SIL has two big, poorly behaved dogs who are a PITA to walk. Not only do they have poor leash training and are picky #1 and #2''ers, but they snarl and bark at bikers, other dogs, joggers... basically any passersby. They''re not violent, but it''s embarrassing and frustrating to walk them considering their poor training. We’ve tried encouraging her to take them to dog training classes, as there are a number of places that offer them nearby, but SIL takes great offense to such suggestions. You see, SIL regards the pups as her children… even more so than before, now that she and her husband are splitting up. She gets them doggie facials, takes them to doggie spas, gourmet doggie treats, they have a vast doggie wardrobe, etc.

Whenever SIL goes away she assumes that hubby and I will take care of the dogs. Meaning, she asks us to dog-sit for her expecting us to say "yes". Before hubby and I had our own place, this was fine; we''d stay at SIL''s house while she was away so that we could house-sit and dog-sit for her. Now, though, hubby and I have our own place and a busy schedule. We''ve dog-sat for her a few times since we''ve had our own place but it was frustrating to have to drive over to her house (15 minutes from us) numerous times a day to walk the pups.

Anyway, SIL just emailed hubby and me asking us to dog-sit for her next weekend. The way she asks is "will you be in town next weekend?" What I want to say is: "Yes, we will be in town, but do we want to walk your snarling picky-pooper pups? Not so much." Yeah, I know I can''t and won''t say that. How do we turn her down nicely? Hubby wants to agree to dog-sit just to appease SIL. What do you think? Suggestions?

 

[surfgirl]

It''s time to be honest with her now. By refusing to care for her poorly behaved dogs, you send a message that this isn''t a little nothing situation. Perhaps you can also let her know that because the dogs are so ill behaved, you are not willing to take the responsibility of them biting a passerby, etc. and until they are well trained doggie citizens, she''ll have to board them...

 

[wishful]

you can also say that although you will be in town, you have plans and will be very busy.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

As a dog-lover myself, I can say without feeling guilty that I don''t love other owners'' dogs as I love my own--namely because other owners typically don''t actively train their dogs--and I dislike dogsitting for other people. Love the dogs...just not the terrible behavior that is commonly reinforced by uneducated owners. So I do understand.

I would send her an email with local petsitters that might be able to help her out. I know many prefer a cageless boarding type of environment where the dog can interact with other dogs. When we travel, we have our dog stay with our doggy daycare sitter so that we know he''s enjoying a playgroup during the day and is with somebody we trust (someone who is certified and is great at training, not feeding him cookies all night which makes us relax when we are gone.

I would tell her that you think he could get more enjoyment out of an environment like this--you two are busy and don''t have the time to devote to making sure he gets enough daily exercise and mental stimulation that all dogs need. That way they know that your primary concern is about the dog.

A site I find to be very helpful is http://www.petsit.com/ which lists certified pet sitters in your area. Many even take the dogs into their own home so that they are not home alone--I think it''s a good idea for your SIL to start building a relationship with a sitter she trusts so that they always have a "go to" person (who isn''t you!) when they plan a vacation.

 

[LaraOnline]

Caring for other people''s dogs, particularly unruly or unpredictable ones, is a bit like caring for other people''s unpredictable children...quite fraught really.

If your SIL''s going away is a common event, tell her you''re concerned that you can''t care enough / be around often enough to meet her little ones'' needs properly...put her touch with a dog sitting / walking service...

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes I''d put her in touch with local pet sitters. I have used the same one for over 15 years. I can count on her to do a great job, would never ask a family memeber to do this... I want my dogs to get the best care possible, on a routine basis. I also have a bird, so that''s extra work. I think you''ve been very nice thus far, time to say, we just can''t do it anymore. We have such a busy schedule with work, and our own place now, I''m sure having a pet sitter that speicalizes in this is the better way for you to go.


Gosh good luck, I love how family just assumes you will do this at a minutes notice.

 

[Dee*Jay]

April, I have two big dogs, one of which (The Demon of course!) sounds a bit like your SIL's dogs. He goes CRAZY when he sees other dogs, even from a large distance--barking, lunging, spinning on his leash. Things with wheels (bicycles, roller bladers) run the risk of making him behave badly too. And there are a list of additional things that set him off… (Our other dog, thank god, is not like this at all. As a matter of fact, he's afraid of damn near everything, including his own shadow. And it's a good thing because I could not handle--literally, physically--two like The Demon.)

My husband and are INCREDIBLY vigilant when we walk them, always on the lookout for what might be coming our way. We know The Demon's signs very well now, and we are pretty good at controlling him, either through disciplined commands (e.g., if we make him sit and keep talking to him it distracts him if the other dog is far enough away) or sometimes we can cup a treat in our hand and hold it just in front of his nose to lead him away from whatever is setting him off.

These are things we have learned over time. They are not easy or fun. We would not ask another person who was not an animal professional to take care of our dogs for a couple of reasons. One is that is it unfair to put someone in that situation. Two is that it is dangerous, both from a liability standpoint and from a physical peril standpoint, to have just anyone taking our dogs out. If someone didn't control The Demon properly he could cause harm to another animal, or god forbid, a person. We could be sued, but much worse than that would be knowing someone or someone's pet was hurt.

We do have a dog walker who also stays in the house when with the dogs when we travel. She is licensed, insured and bonded. That helps from a liability standpoint, but more importantly she knows The Demon, the way he behaves, how to control him, and how keep him away from trigger situations.

There is a point to this post (I swear!): Not only are you being put in an unfair situation by being asked to care for these animals but there is potential liability associated with their behavior. I think it is unwise for you to assume this liability, and your SIL would be well served to have someone take care of the animals that will control them and have legal protection (insurance, bonding) in the event something does happen while the animals are our of your SIL's care.

So, long story short (or is it far too late for that?!), I would tell her "no" and be very honest about the whole thing. As a matter of fact you are more than welcome to show her my post. I am in what sounds like a similar situation with The Demon and I have very seriously thought things through in an effort to make me, them, and everyone around us as safe and happy as possible.

Just my 2 cents...

ETA: I forgot to mention that you say the dogs are not violent, but barking and snarling are aggressive behavior and could be the precursor to violence on the part of the dogs if given the opportunity.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Aprilcait, I just went back and read my post and I hope you aren't offended by it. I didn't mean for it to sound as "know it all" as it came out; I should have typed a draft first and come back to it but unfortuantely I just posted and went off to do something else and now it's too late to edit.

It also sounds in my post like I might be projecting The Demon's behavior onto your SIL's dogs and I am sorry about that too. My apologies iif I was over the top there!

 

[aprilcait]

DeeJay, I didn''t take offense AT ALL to your post. Are you kidding?! I appreciate that you know what it''s like to deal with a difficult pup (The Demon actually does sound quite a bit like SIL''s dogs). I think you defintiely made some valid points. I''ll show hubby your post and see if it might persuade him to decline SIL''s request.

Thank you, everyone, for your input, suggestions, and advice! I really do appreciate it.

 

[swingirl]

Pet ownership includes taking care of your pet when you go out of town. It''s her responsibility to solve that problem and you are not a free kennel service. You need to learn to say no. Tell her you cannot do it and she''ll need to find some one else. You shouldn''t have to give her a reason why. Suggest she leave the dog with her X.

 

[aprilcait]

I completely agree with you, Swingirl. I would like to tell her "no", but it is hubby''s sister. So, it''s his responsibility. She''s the "big sister" and he''s the youngest, so we''ll see what happens, I guess. Isn''t it funny how those roles tend to follow us even as adults?

Family dynamics, don''t you just love ''em?!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Aprilcait, just wanted to check back in and see how it went with your SIL.

 

[aprilcait]

DeeJay I talked to hubby and used the points you provided in your post... and hubby agreed. In the end, though, hubby caved partially to his big sis and agreed to "help" with the pups. So, we''re only looking at walking the nutty pooches once a day, instead of 4-5 walks per day. SIL asked her dog-walker (the dog-walker usually walks the pups for SIL during the work week at lunch time) to take care of the rest of the walks. So, it''s a definite improvement but it''s not 100% what I was hoping for. Maybe next time hubby will be able to give a big, strong "nuh-uh" to his sis.

Thanks so much for the advice and support, everyone!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Get a puppy, and say...

"We got a puppy, probably not a good time for guest dogs".

At another date,

"We''d love to watch them but Fido (whatever your pups name is) doesn''t get along well with other pets in the house." lol I''m bad aren''t I?



Just be honest!

 

[aprilcait]

Iwannnaprettyone you're too funny. Luckily SIL didn't ask for the dogs to stay with us. Woo boy would that be an issue... we've nicknamed her doggies "Piddles" and "Puddles" for a reason. Haha!

 

[purrfectpear]

Tell her you''ve been watching some dog show on TV and you''ve decided to do her a favor and train the pups while she''s out. You plan to use shock collars and a cattle prod.

 

[aprilcait]

Date: 7/29/2008 3:02:36 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Tell her you've been watching some dog show on TV and you've decided to do her a favor and train the pups while she's out. You plan to use shock collars and a cattle prod.

Bahahahahaha!!! You're an evil genius, my dear.