Do you want/have only ONE child? Or are you an only child? Or do you hate your sibling? :)

[Haven]

Congratulations on the new baby! I must have missed that thread!

Anyway . . . I lived with three only children my senior year of college. They were all good friends of mine, and they were all wonderful people. If you only want to have one child, then stick with your decision and don''t let others sway you.

That being said, my three sisters are my best friends and I can''t imagine life without them. I hope to have at least three children myself, but I''m told that this might change after going through the first pregnancy.

 

[sera]

Date: 5/6/2008 9:57:17 PM
Author: Haven
Congratulations on the new baby! I must have missed that thread!

Anyway . . . I lived with three only children my senior year of college. They were all good friends of mine, and they were all wonderful people. If you only want to have one child, then stick with your decision and don''t let others sway you.

That being said, my three sisters are my best friends and I can''t imagine life without them. I hope to have at least three children myself, but I''m told that this might change after going through the first pregnancy.

It just dawned on me when I read Haven''s post that you already had your baby... CONGRATS! I now notice your avatar is not pregnant anymore... nothin'' gets past me.

I would like to add, there is a difference between being "spoiled" in the sense that there''s not other kids for family to buy for so they are able to "spoil" and being "spoiled rotten" as in kids expecting things and having a ''tude until they get something. I was certainly not the latter, nor was I a brat.

 

[iheartscience]

I am the youngest of 5 and my fiance is an only child. I have a twin sister (thing 1!), 1 brother is 5 years older than us, 1 brother is 7 years older, and 1 sister is 10 years older. (The oldest three like to call themselves the Original Family

). I LOVE having so many siblings, and I am close to all of them, especially my twin sister (obviously!) and my older sister. Me and my twin always played together, but because of the age gap with the other kids, we didn''t hang with them as much when we were kids, especially my oldest sister. We did still play with my brothers some. However, the Original Family played with each other a lot.

My fiance is an only child, and he definitely had a very different childhood than I did growing up for several reasons. His parents got divorced when he was very young (mine are still happily married), so he was raised primarily by his mother, although he did see his father regularly. Neither of his parents had any other kids, although he did have step brothers from one of his mom''s marriages. I should also point out that I was a LOT more spoiled as a kid than my fiance, the only child!

He is kind of an old soul, and I think that''s because he was an only and was around adults a lot. I do think he is under a lot more pressure than someone with siblings would be as far as visiting his mom, kids (uh-oh-I don''t know if we''re having any!), etc. However, he is not selfish, although at first when we started dating he definitely wasn''t used to having someone around a lot, and he definitely needs more alone time than me. He will also do more stuff alone than I will, like go to the movies or whatever. I don''t *need* to be with people all the time, but I definitely like to!

I don''t think you should have another for the "sake" of Amelia (love the name, by the way!), but I do think that raising and socializing an only child is probably more challenging than if they had siblings. Just from your posts here on PS, it''s doubtful that you''ll be the crazy over-protective/over-bearing mom who puts all her hopes and dreams on one kid, but I do think that happens a lot. I know several only children (adults now) who were just so pressured by their parents to do well in school that they basically had no lives! I also know some kids (that are kids still) who are just completely rotten and self-centered, but I think that''s more the parents'' fault than just the kid being an only child.

Phew, sorry for the rambling-I''m trying to avoid my paper!

 

[diamondfan]

You only know what you know...I know only children who were so lonely and longed for a sibling. I have one blood sister who treated me like crap and we do not speak. I despise her for what she has done to me my whole life but I am sad too as I did not want to cut her off . Really had no choice in the matter. Of course they are also only children who are totally happy with it and siblings who are close their whole lives. There are NO guarantees about how you will relate to a sibling if you have one.

Do not think about another so soon. You are in the postpartum period. I have three, and trust me immediately after the first I did NOT want to deal. I was so sleep deprived I was hallucinating. Even with a baby nurse, I could not shut off and sleep. Still can't. Had my second, relived some of the stuff again, was a bit more prepared but still...tough. Waited til my kids were six and nine before having the third at 36. Sleep issues much harder at that age, but 100% no regrets.

Enjoy her, and do not worry about expanding your family at this point. If you want to, I think it will occur naturally later on...

 

[softly softly]

Tgal I can totally understand why you feel that you never want to go through pregnancy and caring for an infant again. Why anyone feels the need to ask the mother of a tiny baby when they are planning to have their next is beyond me.

I grew up as the youngest of two. I''m not particularly close to my older brother, but I am glad I have one, if only for the fact that he is the only other person in the world who knows what it was like to grow up in my family (and I mean this in a good way - I have no complaints about my childhood). I''ve always placed great value in shared experience and shared memories which is why I always planned to have more than one child. I''d never really given much thought to how far apart in age I wanted them to be, but I found once I got over the shock of caring for a baby and started to enjoy my son I couldn''t wait to do it again, which is why I now find myself with two toddlers 18 months apart, and honestly, having kids that close together is not something I''d recommend. I found the jump from one to two kids harder than I expected, and two years after my daughter was born I''m still waiting for it to get easier.

Having said that, I don''t regret for one second having either of my children and I love how close they are. I love watching them play together and listening to the funny little conversations they have. I know that when they get older they will probably go through stages where all they do is fight, but for now at least they absolutely adore one another. Oh and I can''t wait to tell my son when he is older and hating the fact he has a little sister that he used to run into her room in the mornings exclaiming "hello my princess!"

 

[Deelight]

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a sibling for a child or being an only one it is really up to the parents. My situation is a little complex throughout my life I have felt like the baby, only and the middle child, I have one sister who is 15 years older then me and a niece who is 11 years younger then me.

Growing up due to the age difference between me and my older sis while I had lots of friends to play with unlike a sibling they are not there 24/7 to play with like on rainy days or when friends are not home so times like that are bad but I love having a much older sister and I would not trade her for the world, my niece was to young to be a playmate (when she came along I was no longer the baby of the family) but we are really good friends and she is like a little sister (she is an only child and has been spoiled by the lot of us but she is still a good kid very grounded), I don't think she missed out on anything not having any siblings she has always had heaps of love and support from all of us.

As long as the child is loved thats all that matters

ETA: I would love four kids but we will see if that happens

 

[oobiecoo]

I am *sorta* an only child. My half-brothers were 15 and 17 when I was born, didn''t live at home, and haven''t been around much. I find that I am much more shy than my friends who had brothers and sisters to grow up with. I also am very comfortable being alone.... i.e. going to lunch by myself. FI finds it odd and doesn''t know why I don''t like going out more or actively pursue making new friendships. It''s because I was always alone as a kid and found ways to entertain myself. I wasn''t used to having others around. FI, on the other hand, grew up with 8 other siblings and is much more social than I am. I think it has definitely hindered me in some ways... one being that I find it more difficult to make new friends. It is also hard to be an only child because I am the only one my parents rely on to come visit and do things for them. They live 4 hours away and its is not always possible to visit as much as they would like.

 

[pennquaker09]

I was an only child until my junior year of high school. My dad had remarried a few years earlier and they waited before they started having children. My mom went through the change before 40 so, no more kids for her, lol. Anyway, I have two brothers Logan and Will. They''re both young, Logan is 5 and Will is 7. My stepmom is currently pregnant with her third, and I hope it will be a girl. I can''t really hate my siblings, they''re so young and I don''t get to see them as much as I would like. That is especially true in the case of Logan, he was born in January of my senior year (2003). After I graduated high school, I packed up and went to college early for the summer semester and I''ve never actually lived in the house with him for an extended period of time. They came up last summer and stayed with us for about 2 weeks while my parents went on vacation. I kind of promised them that they could come back this summer and stay with us, but with the twins and Nate starting a new job, I''m not sure if that''s going to be possible.

My little brothers probably like me so much because I buy them stuff, lol. I waited in line for a Playstation 3 for them. And, in the words of Will, "Nate is soooo cool." Last summer, Nate taught them to swim. We''ve lived in this house since we moved here, and that pool received its sole use the two weeks that Logan and Will were here. And Nate plays football with them and all that great little boy stuff. My parents live in the football capital of Alabama, and the fact that Nate played in college makes him their idol or something. It''s kind of cute.

I don''t think there is anything wrong with having one child. With the nature of IVF, multiples pretty much go along with the territory so we were told to pretty much expect it. We''re planning on one or two more. I think a lot of it is going to be dependent on how long we stay in the New York/New Jersey area. Nate''s kind of ambitious so I have no idea where he will take us.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have more kids. You have the benefit of being able to pour all of your energy and love into that one. It''s just a completely personal decision and none one has the standing to tell you any different. You can raise one child and it''s not a given that she will end up being a spoiled princess.

 

[Maisie]

I have two sisters. One is awful and I had to cut her out of my life. The other one is my lifeline when I am feeling panicky or upset. I know I can ring her anytime, day or night, and she is there for me. She lives a good 7 hour drive from me but I know she would come here if I needed her. I would do the same for her. We have an incredible bond. We laugh at the same things and can talk for hours about anything and everything. She is two years younger than me.

She was there for the births of 3 of my children and was invaluable to me. I couldn''t imagine being without her.

However, I wouldn''t miss what I never had. If you don''t have siblings you wouldn''t know what its like, and would therefore be ok as you are

After I had my first child (I had pre-eclampsia), I said NEVER AGAIN! Two years later I was pregnant. I have five now!!

 

[xapora]

I''m an only child. I always loved it growing up, especially when I used to see my friends fighting with their siblings all the time. I had all the attention from my parents, and as a result, I am super, super close with my family. I never missed having a "playmate" because if I wasn''t hanging out with my friends I was doing something with my mom or doing something by myself (I was an introverted child and could be fine just reading or drawing). But now that I''m older, I sometimes find myself wishing I had siblings. Those same friends who used to fight with their siblings now have strong, loving bonds, and I find myself wishing I had that also. The few family members I do have are going through kind of a tragic situation right now and I have nobody around for support, so it''s all on me right now to take care of them all. It definitely would help if you had some extended family or very close family friends who could be there for support if your daughter should need it in difficult times in the future.

 

[LittleRock]

I have three kids and I love them to death. But, I think one can be plenty! IMHO

My DH and I had kids one after the other. I have regret that when I had my first baby whom was only 6 mo. old at the time I found out I was prego again with #2. I feel like I jilted my first and didn''t get to spend that initial quality time with him. These are obviously my regrets.....venting.

Do what you want and are capable to handle/afford. It is your life. I''d be irritated if I had a baby at 5 weeks and people are telling me to have another.....Tell em to zip-it!!

Congrats on your new little one, enjoy her!

 

[LittleRock]

TG- I was laughing at your avatar cuz I do that on a daily basis with three young ones! LOL! No, it''s not that bad, but close.....

 

[anchor31]

I agree with those who say it''s too early to think about it yet! Don''t let people guilt you into a decision like this!

But to answer your question, I have an older brother (18 months) and a twin sister. We''re a tight knit family, but things weren''t really pink between the three of us when we were kids (or even now, for that matter). My sister E and I were very close, but being a twin isn''t as glamorous as a lot of people seem to believe it is. We are two totally distinct individuals, and being treated like a phenomenon gets tiring after a few years...

We didn''t have such a good relationship with our brother T. He was probably jealous of the fact that E and I were so close and feeling left out, and he was a PEST. He''s always had quite the temper, and he''s never been an easy person to live with.

Now, it''s kind of hard to say for the moment. We''re in a sort of transitional period, with my sister in Australia (and after all the drama before she left), my marriage coming soon, and now my brother is getting married too not long after me (there''s been some rivalry around that too because he was always a very competitive person, but it''s more or less under control now). I don''t think I''ll ever be close to my brother, but we manage to have a fairly friendly relationship. As for my sister, she''s been doing a lot of growing up in the last 10 months and things have been getting better, but things have definitely changed, and were not as close as we used to be. She still tells me everything, but I don''t anymore. It''s not a bad thing, mind you, I just don''t know how it''s going to be when she comes back in a little less than 2 months.

Personally, J and I have always wanted more than one child, but it''s simply because we''re very family-oriented people and would like a bigger family. There''s nothing wrong with only one child IMO!

Congrats again on a beautiful baby, and all the best to you and your family!

 

[jcrow]

i didn't read all the responses completely (skimmed) so i apologize if any of this has been covered.

i'm an only. and if/when we have kids i want one. just one. or twins. all at once would be fine.

hubby is the youngest of 3 boys.


i never once wished i had a siblings. never.
and i honestly don't think i grew up spoiled. i guess how wealthy your family is (or not) plays a part of that. i actually hate when ppl ask that. it's the first comment out of their mouth when they find out i'm an only. "oh i bet you were spoiled!" blech.

oh and i guess i should add that i'm an only grandchild as well. i have distant cousins all younger than me that i'd see a couple times a year... so yeah, i always got along well with adults. and i don't think that's a bad thing. i was always the mature (not acting stupid) one of my friends.

so yeh, i don't see anything wrong with having an only. if that's what you want so be it.

 

[icekid]

I don''t think there is anything wrong with having an only child. I know only kids who ARE spoiled rotten, and I know those who are not. Most likely, it has everything to do with the parents and less to do with the lack of siblings.

For you TGal, I think you''re unlikely to be an obsessed/crazy type mom. Being an only child can put a lot of pressure on a child, but I think that is less likely to be the case for you.

For me, I absolutely adore my siblings. YES YES YES we fought like cats and dogs growing up and drove my parents NUTS (something to take into account

). I am the oldest, brother #1 is 4 years younger than me, brother #2 is 8 years younger, and sister is 10 years younger. Despite our age difference, I am very close with my sister; she was my maid-of-honor! And my brothers were um, bride''s boys! Ha. One of them continues to drive me nuts, but overall I would say that I am quite close with all of them. I value my relationships with my siblings above all others, except my hubby. I don''t think they have precluded me from having a close relationship with my parents either.

Because of my sibs, I don''t think I would ever have an only child. most likely, that means my kids will hate each other! I am not excited about the prospect of being pregnant either though. My husband really wishes for one biological child first and then will submit to my desire to adopt after that. Or we might only adopt. So that might be something else to consider. You get a cute kiddo, without the pregnancy (and probably without the sleepless early months too).

 

[diamondsrock]

Date: 5/7/2008 5:53:54 PM
Author: icekid
I don''t think there is anything wrong with having an only child. I know only kids who ARE spoiled rotten, and I know those who are not. Most likely, it has everything to do with the parents and less to do with the lack of siblings.

For you TGal, I think you''re unlikely to be an obsessed/crazy type mom. Being an only child can put a lot of pressure on a child, but I think that is less likely to be the case for you.

For me, I absolutely adore my siblings. YES YES YES we fought like cats and dogs growing up and drove my parents NUTS (something to take into account

). I am the oldest, brother #1 is 4 years younger than me, brother #2 is 8 years younger, and sister is 10 years younger. Despite our age difference, I am very close with my sister; she was my maid-of-honor! And my brothers were um, bride''s boys! Ha. One of them continues to drive me nuts, but overall I would say that I am quite close with all of them. I value my relationships with my siblings above all others, except my hubby. I don''t think they have precluded me from having a close relationship with my parents either.

Because of my sibs, I don''t think I would ever have an only child. most likely, that means my kids will hate each other! I am not excited about the prospect of being pregnant either though. My husband really wishes for one biological child first and then will submit to my desire to adopt after that. Or we might only adopt. So that might be something else to consider. You get a cute kiddo, without the pregnancy (and probably without the sleepless early months too).

this is absolutely true. The spoiled rotten theory has everything to do with the parents!
I am an only child, only grandchild, too. And I have an only child. He''s a teenager and he''s been fine with being an only. I''ve asked him on occassion if he would like a sibling and the answer has been no, except for years ago when he wanted a brother the same exact age as him for a playmate. So he would have liked to be a twin! When he was born I had a tough delivery, many, many sleepless nights, exhaustion, you know, the usual! Except he woke up during the night regularly until he was around 2 years old. We never taught him how to go to sleep on his own so this was our own fault. I should have read more parenting books! My mother in law asked me shortly after he was born when I would have another and I said in 6 years and she laughed. I said, no, really, that''s when. Welll when he was 4 or 5 I wanted another one so badly, but situations in our life were preventing me from having another, which is a long story, so he is an only. He is not spoiled! I had an acquaintance comment once on the "typical only child" of a friend she knew and I said what would that be? She said, you know, spoiled. I said well my son is an only and he''s not spoiled. This was quite amusing as her children are spoiled, so it really has nothing to do with the lack of siblings. It''s all about the parenting and teaching values.
I did long for a sibling growing up, unlike my son who truly is content with being an only. However, I wasn''t as close to my parents as he is to us, and I think that is maybe why I felt that way. I wanted someone to connect with, and someone to turn to when dealing with my parents, whom I often did not get along with.
By the way, I know people with siblings and some of them rarely even speak, so it''s no guarantee of a friendship and support system. You''ve gotten a lot of advice on this board, but for now, just enjoy Amelia and take lots of pictures! They change so fast! I''m sure you and your husband will come to the right decision for your family.

 

[Angel7]

I am so thankful I have a brother, we are so close and he is my family. We lost our mom at a young age and not too long ago, our father.

I don''t know how we would have gotten through these horrific times without each other. We are there for each other for every little thing in life. I couldn''t imagine going through these things without a sibling to lean on or grieve with or just stroll down memory lane with.

Maybe if we were dealt a different hand in life we wouldn''t be as close as we are but I''m so glad we have each other...

Best of luck in your decision Traveling Gal and congrats on your new little baby girl!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 5/7/2008 3:47:57 PM
Author: jcrow
i didn''t read all the responses completely (skimmed) so i apologize if any of this has been covered.

i''m an only. and if/when we have kids i want one. just one. or twins. all at once would be fine.

hubby is the youngest of 3 boys.


i never once wished i had a siblings. never.
and i honestly don''t think i grew up spoiled. i guess how wealthy your family is (or not) plays a part of that. i actually hate when ppl ask that. it''s the first comment out of their mouth when they find out i''m an only. ''oh i bet you were spoiled!'' blech.

oh and i guess i should add that i''m an only grandchild as well. i have distant cousins all younger than me that i''d see a couple times a year... so yeah, i always got along well with adults. and i don''t think that''s a bad thing. i was always the mature (not acting stupid) one of my friends.

so yeh, i don''t see anything wrong with having an only. if that''s what you want so be it.

My too! Maybe for this reason I think I have always been an "old soul", and now that I am 30 I finally feel like my chronilogical age matches my personality and mental age...

Though I''d still rather be 25

 

[TravelingGal]

I agree that it's the parents, not the lack of another sibling that causes a spoiled child. I wonder though...do parents with spoiled children think their kids are spoiled? How come no one ever thinks their kid is spoiled, or that they were spoiled? Just a random silly thought.

Yeah, I'm not thinking of having another kid right now...just posted this topic because I was interested in PSers situations and thought it would make for interesting reading. I appreciate everyone who took the time to post and also appreciate the congrats. Just trying to get through this period of fog. The other day, I crossed a street (I was by myself, kid was at home with dad) without looking in either direction. I have to snap out of it or else I am going to get myself killed and no one is going to have a sibling (at least not by me!)

ETA , edited to correct comment from ""think their parents are spoiled" to "their kids are spoiled" since that makes more sense!

 

[diamondfan]

Tgal, no one wants to look inward and shoulder blame for doing something to their kid that was totally avoidable.

I think simply giving kids material things does not spoil them. I know many kids, mine included, who have lots of material things, but respect those things, know money is earned by their dad''s hard work, and they also have nice manners and appreciate all they have. I know kids with much less in the way of material stuff and they are NOT nice kids at all. I think it is the values you instill, the lessons you teach, by your words and by example as well. I am not saying my kids are perfection personified, but they are nice kids who behave well and have a decent sense of thankfulness for their manifold blessings.

 

[diamondsrock]

Date: 5/8/2008 5:33:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I agree that it''s the parents, not the lack of another sibling that causes a spoiled child. I wonder though...do parents with spoiled children think their kids are spoiled? How come no one ever thinks their kid is spoiled, or that they were spoiled? Just a random silly thought.

Yeah, I''m not thinking of having another kid right now...just posted this topic because I was interested in PSers situations and thought it would make for interesting reading. I appreciate everyone who took the time to post and also appreciate the congrats. Just trying to get through this period of fog. The other day, I crossed a street (I was by myself, kid was at home with dad) without looking in either direction. I have to snap out of it or else I am going to get myself killed and no one is going to have a sibling (at least not by me!)

ETA , edited to correct comment from ''''think their parents are spoiled'' to ''their kids are spoiled'' since that makes more sense!

In regards to the woman I discussed, no she absolutely did not think her children were spoiled and did not realize her older one''s lack of manners. That''s why her comment was so amusing to me!

She would have been horrified if someone told her that her children were spoiled! Plus, I''m sure she would have seen it as an insult. I guess people who live in glass houses shouldn''t throw rocks!
I''ve seen children act up in stores and the parents are absolutely clueless. I saw a toddler once demand a piece of cheese at the deli, which the mom gladly obliged. Then the child threw it on the floor in a fit, then cried he wanted it back. The mom just picked it up to throw it away, and asked him if he wanted another one without reprimanding the behavior. It was so obvious to everyone around her what she was doing (or not doing) but she was so clueless. That kid probably gets away with a lot!!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

My brother and I are 7 years apart. We didn''t do a lot together as children. At all. By the time I was 11, he''d moved out and was doing his own thing. We only got close around the time he got married and had his first baby. Now, I consider him one of my closest friends. I think that with an age gap like ours, that is common. Now that we are 28 and 35, there is not as much a difference as when we were 6 and 13.

I wouldn''t mind having an only child. I think the "stigma" that goes with being an only involves the children who are over-induldged and who aren''t put in situations where they learn the social skills siblings are *forced* to learn during childhood.

My best friend is an only child and she does miss having the siblings to call on and talk to as an adult, but freely states that being a kid and having 100% attention from her parents and never having to share a toy was great.

I guess you have give and take in just about every situation.

By the way, I''ve heard it''s common for a *new* mother such as yourself to be completely over the whole pregnancy thing and say they don''t want any more babies, only to get the maternal yearning again a couple years down the road.

I highly doubt Amelia (who I still think of as T-tot!!) will be detrimentally ruined either way you go. It''s more about parenting and interaction than it is the number of kiddos in a family, I firmly believe.

 

[TravelingGal]

I was really glad to have a brother last night.

Since Amelia was born, my father has gone into more critical condition. It has been wonderful to have a brother take care of some things, go support and help my dad while I deal with the fog of having a newborn. Last night we all (brother, SIL, and mom) went to visit my dad. My mother had made the decision to take out his feeding (and other) tubes as my father has been miserable (they would not give him water for 21 days). He has just wanted to die and the doc told my mom that if guilt isn''t a factor and we don''t want to prolong his life just for the sake of it (because my father will never get better, only worse), then it would be most comfortable for my dad to just have the tubes out and live out the rest of his (short) life in peace.

Of course, knowing about the imminent death of a parent isn''t easy, but my brother told me this news and I felt so comforted to have him to share this heartache with. And if you know anything about my sense of humor, his is twice as twisted, so he was cracking jokes and I was sitting there in tears and laughing at the same time.

If I could know for sure Amelia would have such a good relationship with her sibling, I would get pregnant again today, I really would. Last night just really hit home for me.

 

[Pandora II]

It''s difficult one.

FI and I are both one of 4. I''m the eldest of my family and he''s no. 2 in his.

I always wanted to be an only child, but I was always quite a loner and my next down sister (20 months) and I have never got on.

However, I don''t get any pressure from my parents to see them etc and I got to make my own choices. I moved abroad for 8 years and they were cool with that. If FI and I decided to move to the States or something our parents wouldn''t enter into the equation.

I would hate my child to feel that their parents depended on them being there.

My mother has also said that she would always want 2 just in case. That being that if something awful was to happen, there would be another one. Not that it takes away from the pain of losing a child, but if you only have one it does wipe out a lot of milestones that your peer group is going through like the first bf/gf, the graduations, the weddings, the grandchildren.

I thought I definitely only wanted one - but FI is very keen to have 2. I''m coming round to the idea, but I want to have at least a 4 year gap between them. I didn''t play with my sister, but I did with my brother who is 6 years younger. No. 4 is 14 years younger - that''s why I''m 35 and have no kids yet!

 

[Dancing Fire]

i''m the youngest of three sibling. okay,okay i''m the problem child.

i got two expensive daughters (ages 21 and 20)

 

[Rhea]

I''m one of two. My sister and I speak about once every couple of months but have never been exactly close. I like her well enough but personality wise and what we want in life is very different.

My DH is an only child and has no complaints. His mother was mostly a stay at home and he says that he got plenty of interaction that way. His family has a business that is run out of the house so his mother and father were close at hand. He does have a female cousin who is a few months older than him who he played with when he was really young. If you look at photos there are very few of him and his cousin together so I''m not sure how much they actually played and they did go to different schools starting at age 4. DH says that he''d only like one child.