Do you think a DIL should be just like a daughter?

[partgypsy]

I didn't answer the poll because it seemed very biased wording "DIL just like a daughter or MIL just like a mom." One can aspire to a closeness and warmth that is akin to a mother daughter relationship, but its not "just like". Nor should necessarily expect or demand that level of closeness (as someone says, "people vary". At the same time the MIL needs to respect the new relationship and yes, support it. Simply because she is Mom, it does not follow that the MIL should come out and side with the son over the daughter, meddle in their relationship, or even tell the DIL to their face she does not like her. When was that ever acceptable? The MIL needs to understand even if she loves her own blood more, that the marriage bond comes before the mother/son bond, and if she can't support the people, at least support the marriage.

I like my MIL (well actually I love her). I plan and do things with my MIL either just myself or with my SIL. She is a very can-do positive cheerful person, I truly enjoy her company, and my children lucked out she is their grandmother. Am I in some kind of delusion I am her second daughter seperated at birth? Not at all. But it is it's own relationship and it enriches both of us.