Do you like being a mom?

[Tacori E-ring]

Princesss not having children because you can''t and not having them because you don''t want them is COMPLETELY different. First off I know a few women who were told the *same* thing from their doctors...guess what? They got pregnant. Secondly many PSers have adopted and I am sure would be happy to tell you their stories. There are ways to be a mom.

 

[princesss]

Tgal, I think if anything, that''s how I''d be. So it''s great to see your posts about Amelia in the Mommies thread (yeah, I''m lurking there). It''s totally understandable to me.

I told BF about this thread, and he kind of laughed and said, "You know you''re not going to have an answer immediately, right? This is big, it''ll take a while." And he''s right, but it''s important and I like having a lot to mull over.

So, again, thank you all for sharing. This is definitely helping me start to think about a lot of things that could be affected by having a kid (and how they''re not exactly a disaster...just different).

 

[princesss]

Date: 8/29/2008 7:29:54 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Princesss not having children because you can''t and not having them because you don''t want them is COMPLETELY different. First off I know a few women who were told the *same* thing from their doctors...guess what? They got pregnant. Secondly many PSers have adopted and I am sure would be happy to tell you their stories. There are ways to be a mom.

They''re definitely different, and that''s part of what I''m trying to figure out. Am I saying this because I can''t and don''t want to face the thought of trying and failing, or am I saying I don''t want kids because I really, truly don''t?

Tough question.

 

[Kaleigh]

I always wanted to be a Mom, even though I didn''t have a great role model. I adore my kids. They are my heart. They are older, 20 and 18. I just smile looking at who they are now, they are great kids. Yes we hard hard times, health issues and such. But we got through all of that thank goodness. I feel so blessed to have them. I just wish it didn''t go by as quickly. Thank goodness we are very close and talk all the time.

 

[Miranda]

I''ve tried to post here a few times, but, every time I''ve started I''ve been reduced to tears.

With my oldest starting high school and my youngest starting kindergarten I''m feeling a little raw and overwhelmed by the fact that they are growing up. Just tonight my hubby, knowing how upset I am, said, "Well, you didn''t want any more kids." It''s not MORE babies I want I explained. It''s just that I never expected mine to grow up, lol! I know it sounds silly, but, there is so much emphasis on babies and pregnancy and early childhood that sometimes when you think of parenthood you don''t think of having an older child or teenager.

Motherhood is the single greatest accomplishment of my entire life. My kids are outstanding people that make my very proud every single day...So far - we are entering the deep teen years! *biting nails* So to answer your question, yes, I LOVE being a mom. I don''t just like it. For the most part, it is my identity. And I''m OK with that. I have lots of time after they''re all grown up to explore whatever else my heart fancies.

Like Tacori, I''ve always wanted children. It has never felt like a sacrifice or empty work to me. Do they require a lot of time and effort? Yep, but, all good things do. As in in everything, you get out what you put in. Every day is not easy, but, again, like with everything in life attitude is everything.

OK, OK...Enough platitudes already!

You should never feel any pressure to be a parent. It''s hard to even grasp the level of commitment it will take to raise a child into a decent human being. It really should be something you really really want to do. I do know that I have a very skewed view of being a parent because I love it so much. I have a friend (if you can call her that) that got very angry with me after she had her own daughter because she says I didn''t give her a fair view of how hard parenting really is because I make it look easy.

Methinks it is just an excuse for her to be a rotten parent and blame it on somebody else!

Good luck with your decision! I just thought I''d offer my viewpoint.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Miranda, that was so touching!

I also have to disagree with radiantquest. I was so worried (still am!). When I was pregnant I was always thinking, is this cramp normal? Is the baby moving enough? Oh, no it is moving too much is the cord wrapped around its neck? Will my L&D be okay? Will I be okay? Will be adjust? Will we have enough money to support this person for the next 18+ years? Will I ever be thin again? Haha. The list goes on. I still worry about her. Her health, her environment, her plastic sippy cups

, the world she was born into, etc...It is never ending which I think is 100% NORMAL! I don''t think most people are *ready* to be parents. Kind of a leap of faith.

 

[LaraOnline]

Author: trillionaire

I have met parents who have not a.) liked their kids, b.) liked being a parent, and a combination of those two. NO ONE ever says it. It's like it's not socially allowed.

I totally agree with you. I guess society focuses on the frilly dresses and coochy coo because there are soooo many hidden expectations of parents. Parenting is incredibly hard work, and I'm surprised so many do such a great job! Also, the focus on parenting seems to drop off as the child reaches adolescence. No doubt because not only are they 'not as cute' anymore (like a puppy), many parents seem to find they are shockingly ungrateful for the years of work you have invested in them thus far! But I have met very lovely teenagers who are very close with their parents, as well.

Parenthood is like joining the army

bootcamp, particularly in parts. Then there's a lay-off, a sweet spot, when everything goes swimmingly and you just feel blessed being a mum. Couple of weeks later.... !

One of the best aspects of becoming a parent is that you gain a lot more respect for your own parents (particularly your mum), and for the parents of the world, generally. It's like the world is built on love, because it takes so much of the darn concentrated effort just to get a two-year-old fed in the morning!

Parenting is like volunteering to become some-one's man-servant! But it's an innocent subservience, because the children have no idea that your mission in life is not about fetching them milk in bed. Children really do bring love into your life, and it's lovely to watch them grow and learn. They are interesting people, from a very early age!

For me, having children was a biological desire, as natural as the need to eat a meal. I couldn't NOT have kids. Everything else I had to pick up as I went along. And now I'm going deeper: number three on the way!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Princess, I am quite obviously not a parent, but I thought I would weigh in as someone who has and is going through what you''re going though right now. Plus, as your intellectual lover I thought it would be appropriate to again see how similar we are.

Oddly enough, this whole mother thing is so relevant to why we''re intellectually "involved" to begin with. I always grew up thinking I''d be a mother, even expected to be by my own mother who has always been excited to be a grandmother. I am pretty sure most girls grow up thinking that they will be mothers. It''s pretty ingrained in us from childhood, and a really fundamental part of the whole gender performance thing. I bought into it hook, line, and sinker, but then again I bought compulsory heterosexuality until I was mid-teens, so I think of myself as pretty regularly susceptible to these ideologies.

I relate to you because as soon as I realized I obviously wasn''t going to be able to naturally conceive with my life partner I started to question how much I wanted to be a mother. Thinking about how much time and money it would take to obtain a child no matter the route we took made me consider all of the OTHER expenses and considerations that go into it in a way that I admittedly might not have considered in such depth if we had been able to achieve pregnancy on our own. What about the costs of having a child, we thought. What about the world we live in? What could we give to a child to make its life happy and healthy? Were we willing to put in the astronomical time and money that a child needs to have that life? Were we willing to give up a certain level of personal and financial freedom that comes from having to first and foremost worry about ourselves, our relationship, and our adult lives? Obviously there can be a balance between these things, but I believe it takes work. If someone wants children, these things are totally worth it. If someone doesn''t, they may become sacrifices that build resentment, or at the very least become something you might not have done if you could do it all over again. Personally I would feel so guilty if I felt that way that I don''t know if I could handle it.

You are an intelligent, capable person, and I have no doubt that you will make the right decision for you. That you even want to learn more about it and weigh all of your options says volumes about your ability to make that decision in a reasoned way, and I think that''s the best way to approach the question of whether to have children; after all, it''s so hard to approach it without extreme emotions once there is a pregnancy or a child involved. Now is definitely the right way to talk about it.

Also keep in mind that while your doctor has advised you that you might have trouble getting pregnant, that is by no means a guarantee. There are also a lot of different paths to motherhood other than un-aided conception, so keep that in mind if you do decide that you really want a child.

 

[princesss]

Oh, Wishful, we really are a lot alike! I don''t really have time to respond to all of that, but I promise it resonated and I''m processing it.

(On a side note, I thought of you and your FI last night. My grandma out in Napa called me and we were talking, and she mentioned that her friends Jack and Nick are getting married at her house today. She was so funny, she said, "You know, it''s not like they haven''t done this before. They''ve been together for 25 years. But now it''s legal, and legal makes a difference!")

 

[LuckyTexan]

I am in 100% agreement with you! Parenthood is not something that should be taken lightly. These are PEOPLE you are making. They will be the future of this world. My sister LOVES my kids... but like you, doesn''t want any of her own, and likes to ''give them back'' when they break (aka poop/cry/whine/etc.)...

As hard as it would be to swallow... if you aren''t going to give your BF the child he wants... you should break up so that he can find a woman who will. The kids/no kids issue, is a deal breaker in my opinion.

I LOVE being a mother. I have always wanted children. I have always dreamed of raising kids... not just having babies... but actually raising kids! Being the ''soccer mom'' who bakes cupcakes and chairs the PTA!

I give you props for being honest with yourself about this issue, and actually taking it into consideration before doing it!

 

[sna77]

My wife and I had dinner at some friend''s house the other night... They just had a baby 3 months ago (they are both in early 30''s), and we were catching up, as they were unable to come to the wedding with a newborn.... Anyhow, the first thing out of her mouth when I asked the obligatory "so what''s it like being parents?" question, was:

"I can''t believe how many people lie to you about parenhood. Yeah, I get that you have no life, and you are a slave to this kid, but its more than that. The pregnancy was horrible, as I was sick and my husband didn''t want to have sex with me because he was freaked out thinking that he was hitting the kid. Then once the kid came I was in pain for 2 weeks. My b00bs are sore and swollen from him sucking and they look like ape''s ti%$. I definitely need work done on them as I''m sure he''s ruined any shape they had and my nipples are disgusting now. Worst off, something ripped when i was delivering--do you know they cut you from your v to your butt? You have any idea how gross that is? It was so bad that and I''ve been wearing adult diapers since he was born and may have to be operated on soon. Oh, and my husband still won''t have sex with me because now he''s grossed out my the mess down below and the diaper thing."


UGH. I almost threw up in my mouth hearing this... Granted my friends are probably an extreme case (although they were pretty normal before baby), but just wanted to share an experience I recently observed...

 

[dani13]

Date: 8/30/2008 5:40:42 PM
Author: sna77
My wife and I had dinner at some friend's house the other night... They just had a baby 3 months ago (they are both in early 30's), and we were catching up, as they were unable to come to the wedding with a newborn.... Anyhow, the first thing out of her mouth when I asked the obligatory 'so what's it like being parents?' question, was:


'I can't believe how many people lie to you about parenhood. Yeah, I get that you have no life, and you are a slave to this kid, but its more than that. The pregnancy was horrible, as I was sick and my husband didn't want to have sex with me because he was freaked out thinking that he was hitting the kid. Then once the kid came I was in pain for 2 weeks. My b00bs are sore and swollen from him sucking and they look like ape's ti%$. I definitely need work done on them as I'm sure he's ruined any shape they had and my nipples are disgusting now. Worst off, something ripped when i was delivering--do you know they cut you from your v to your butt? You have any idea how gross that is? It was so bad that and I've been wearing adult diapers since he was born and may have to be operated on soon. Oh, and my husband still won't have sex with me because now he's grossed out my the mess down below and the diaper thing.'




UGH. I almost threw up in my mouth hearing this... Granted my friends are probably an extreme case (although they were pretty normal before baby), but just wanted to share an experience I recently observed...

Yeah, Sna, you should come to work with me one day....he he .... Like I said, its great birth control!!! ha!

WOW, these must have been REALLY close friends that she told you this..OMG....Everyone's experiences are different, and its all subjective, but that's terrible that she feels that way!!! I hope things get better for her real soon! I hate to say it, but I am so traumatized from working in labor & delivery for almost 10 yrs now, that when/if the time comes for MH and I to have children, I am having a elective c-section. That is just my own personal feeling on the issue, which I am sure many would not agree with, but I would tell those people to come do my job everyday and then come to their own opinion afterwards.

 

[sna77]

Date: 8/30/2008 5:46:16 PM
Author: Dani


Yeah, Sna, you should come to work with me one day....he he .... Like I said, its great birth control!!! ha!

WOW, these must have been REALLY close friends that she told you this..OMG....Everyone''s experiences are different, and its all subjective, but that''s terrible that she feels that way!!! I hope things get better for her real soon! I hate to say it, but I am so traumatized from working in labor & delivery for almost 10 yrs now!! And when/if the time comes for MH and I to have children, I am having a elective c-section. That is just my own personal feeling on the issue, which I am sure many would not agree with, but I would tell those people to come do my job everyday and then come to their own opinion afterwards.

They definitely are... The 3 bottles of wine probably helped too.. haha... I think they first thing they asked us when we walked in was "How many days did you do it on your honeymoon?" haaa

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Sna, all your friends seem to share a lot of info with you...interesting. It is true L&D is not pretty. It is painful and takes time to heal. She is LUCKY if it only took her 2 weeks until she was pain free. I think the first 4 months are very difficult. I walked around in a fog the entire time. But what''s 4 months out of a lifetime?

 

[icekid]

Date: 8/30/2008 5:46:16 PM
Author: Dani


Yeah, Sna, you should come to work with me one day....he he .... Like I said, its great birth control!!! ha!

WOW, these must have been REALLY close friends that she told you this..OMG....Everyone''s experiences are different, and its all subjective, but that''s terrible that she feels that way!!! I hope things get better for her real soon! I hate to say it, but I am so traumatized from working in labor & delivery for almost 10 yrs now, that when/if the time comes for MH and I to have children, I am having a elective c-section. That is just my own personal feeling on the issue, which I am sure many would not agree with, but I would tell those people to come do my job everyday and then come to their own opinion afterwards.

Dani.... 6 weeks on Ob/Gyn was enough to convince me (and many of my classmates) that we''re also heading to elective section if I ever get pregnant. Glad to hear you don''t think I am crazy

 

[dani13]

Date: 8/30/2008 6:12:29 PM
Author: icekid

Date: 8/30/2008 5:46:16 PM

Author: Dani



Yeah, Sna, you should come to work with me one day....he he .... Like I said, its great birth control!!! ha!


WOW, these must have been REALLY close friends that she told you this..OMG....Everyone's experiences are different, and its all subjective, but that's terrible that she feels that way!!! I hope things get better for her real soon! I hate to say it, but I am so traumatized from working in labor & delivery for almost 10 yrs now, that when/if the time comes for MH and I to have children, I am having a elective c-section. That is just my own personal feeling on the issue, which I am sure many would not agree with, but I would tell those people to come do my job everyday and then come to their own opinion afterwards.

Dani.... 6 weeks on Ob/Gyn was enough to convince me (and many of my classmates) that we're also heading to elective section if I ever get pregnant. Glad to hear you don't think I am crazy

I know Icekid, its crazy isnt it? When I mention my "preference," some of the people I work with get on me about it. They say things like, "Why would you ELECT to have major abd sx?" "Morbidity/mortality assoc with c/s is higher than with a vag del", etc. And, its not like I dont know the facts....I have been and L&D nurse for a long time now. But for me, personally, I just think I will do better with a c/s, plain and simple. If I labored I would be completely paranoid about the baby, probably watching the strip for my whole labor, putting on my own oxygen mask, you name it, I'd probably do it!!! ha ha!! I am just too type A personality to go through it I think.

And, as you know, ignorance is bliss!!!

eta: The same people that bug me about my choice will then turn around and tell me their birth stories, and how they pushed for 4 hrs and had a 4th deg laceration, and couldnt walk/sit/have a bm and were in pain for mths and mths following the delivery.....Hell no, Im not going through that!!!!

 

[sna77]

Date: 8/30/2008 6:10:06 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Sna, all your friends seem to share a lot of info with you...interesting.

haa, why do you say that? Guy friends always talk about stuff like this... I''ve known most of my friends since my pre-teen days, so we''re very close and have been for a long time... Although I will say his wife is one of the exceptions where they as a couple are very open... i have a few friends who are, a bit more reserved around their wives... Thankfully though, not many... Thats actually one of the things I love most about my wife--I''ve never had to act differently around her than I am with my guy friends. I''m free to be myself. You have no idea how many guess change or tone it down or don''t act like themselves when around their SO...

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/30/2008 5:40:42 PM
Author: sna77
My wife and I had dinner at some friend''s house the other night... They just had a baby 3 months ago (they are both in early 30''s), and we were catching up, as they were unable to come to the wedding with a newborn.... Anyhow, the first thing out of her mouth when I asked the obligatory ''so what''s it like being parents?'' question, was:

''I can''t believe how many people lie to you about parenhood. Yeah, I get that you have no life, and you are a slave to this kid, but its more than that. The pregnancy was horrible, as I was sick and my husband didn''t want to have sex with me because he was freaked out thinking that he was hitting the kid. Then once the kid came I was in pain for 2 weeks. My b00bs are sore and swollen from him sucking and they look like ape''s ti%$. I definitely need work done on them as I''m sure he''s ruined any shape they had and my nipples are disgusting now. Worst off, something ripped when i was delivering--do you know they cut you from your v to your butt? You have any idea how gross that is? It was so bad that and I''ve been wearing adult diapers since he was born and may have to be operated on soon. Oh, and my husband still won''t have sex with me because now he''s grossed out my the mess down below and the diaper thing.''


UGH. I almost threw up in my mouth hearing this... Granted my friends are probably an extreme case (although they were pretty normal before baby), but just wanted to share an experience I recently observed...

LOL, this was DINNER conversation?

Lots of hubbies don''t want to have sex with their partners because of the whole "hitting the kid" thing (we can thank the movie "knocked up" for bringing this into the forefront of men''s minds.) I had a c-section and I think my husband is still scared to see what it might be like down there. Honestly, it doesn''t fuss me, as I am kind of busy these days! We have more intimate cuddly type moments. That isn''t to say that we won''t ease back into the sex, but marriage evolves and it isn''t the grabby rip your clothes off business that happens early on. (Sorry to tell you this, but for 9.5 out of 10 couples, I''d say it''s true).

What your friend is saying is the truth and I think more and more women are aware of it as they go into pregnancy. What she didn''t mention is that the kid just gets cooler and cooler (and tougher and tougher, I think!). 3 months is about average for the beginning of the

period. Ask your friend in another few months and see what she thinks...she''ll say everything you reported to us, plus the very well used "but it''s so worth it!" Although she may still want to get a few things fixed (totally normal!)

 

[sna77]

Date: 8/30/2008 6:30:21 PM
Author: TravelingGal

LOL, this was DINNER conversation?

Lots of hubbies don''t want to have sex with their partners because of the whole ''hitting the kid'' thing (we can thank the movie ''knocked up'' for bringing this into the forefront of men''s minds.) I had a c-section and I think my husband is still scared to see what it might be like down there. Honestly, it doesn''t fuss me, as I am kind of busy these days! We have more intimate cuddly type moments. That isn''t to say that we won''t ease back into the sex, but marriage evolves and it isn''t the grabby rip your clothes off business that happens early on. (Sorry to tell you this, but for 9.5 out of 10 couples, I''d say it''s true).

What your friend is saying is the truth and I think more and more women are aware of it as they go into pregnancy. What she didn''t mention is that the kid just gets cooler and cooler (and tougher and tougher, I think!). 3 months is about average for the beginning of the

period. Ask your friend in another few months and see what she thinks...she''ll say everything you reported to us, plus the very well used ''but it''s so worth it!'' Although she may still want to get a few things fixed (totally normal!)

The "lI''m leaking" comment caused me to stop eating my steak and focus entirely on the wine. haha

 

[Miranda]

Date: 8/30/2008 5:40:42 PM
Author: sna77
My wife and I had dinner at some friend's house the other night... They just had a baby 3 months ago (they are both in early 30's), and we were catching up, as they were unable to come to the wedding with a newborn.... Anyhow, the first thing out of her mouth when I asked the obligatory 'so what's it like being parents?' question, was:

'I can't believe how many people lie to you about parenhood. Yeah, I get that you have no life, and you are a slave to this kid, but its more than that. The pregnancy was horrible, as I was sick and my husband didn't want to have sex with me because he was freaked out thinking that he was hitting the kid. Then once the kid came I was in pain for 2 weeks. My b00bs are sore and swollen from him sucking and they look like ape's ti%$. I definitely need work done on them as I'm sure he's ruined any shape they had and my nipples are disgusting now. Worst off, something ripped when i was delivering--do you know they cut you from your v to your butt? You have any idea how gross that is? It was so bad that and I've been wearing adult diapers since he was born and may have to be operated on soon. Oh, and my husband still won't have sex with me because now he's grossed out my the mess down below and the diaper thing.'


UGH. I almost threw up in my mouth hearing this... Granted my friends are probably an extreme case (although they were pretty normal before baby), but just wanted to share an experience I recently observed...

Whoa...She had a rough time with the whole bringing a baby into the world thing, didn't she! Poor thing! I've had three kids and none of my experiences have been anything like hers. I just don't want anyone to be scared Sh!@less here!

Sometimes it's just not that bad. Sometimes it is! All I can say is thank goodness I don't have ape ti!@, LOL!!!! That line cracked me up!

ETA: O just saw your post. OK, well you DO leak!

 

[ahappygirl]

I love being a mom more than I could ever express. I am blessed, humbled, honored, enriched, challenged, grateful and filled with joy every moment my child draws breath.

 

[sna77]

Date: 8/30/2008 7:03:43 PM
Author: Miranda
Whoa...She had a rough time with the whole bringing a baby into the world thing, didn''t she! Poor thing! I''ve had three kids and none of my experiences have been anything like hers. I just don''t want anyone to be scared Sh!@less here!

Sometimes it''s just not that bad. Sometimes it is! All I can say is thank goodness I don''t have ape ti!@, LOL!!!! That line cracked me up!

ETA: O just saw your post. OK, well you DO leak!

This was her exact point--haha... She said she''d wished people had been more honest with her about things. Well she certainly was with us.

 

[Miranda]

Date: 8/30/2008 7:16:37 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 8/30/2008 7:03:43 PM
Author: Miranda
Whoa...She had a rough time with the whole bringing a baby into the world thing, didn''t she! Poor thing! I''ve had three kids and none of my experiences have been anything like hers. I just don''t want anyone to be scared Sh!@less here!

Sometimes it''s just not that bad. Sometimes it is! All I can say is thank goodness I don''t have ape ti!@, LOL!!!! That line cracked me up!

ETA: O just saw your post. OK, well you DO leak!

This was her exact point--haha... She said she''d wished people had been more honest with her about things. Well she certainly was with us.

It could be that nobody she knows has had an experience quite as miserable as hers.

 

[sna77]

Date: 8/30/2008 7:30:55 PM
Author: Miranda
It could be that nobody she knows has had an experience quite as miserable as hers.

True... How rare is what she expereinced? As a guy, we tend to tread very lightly around these areas, and not ask too many questions... haha

 

[Miranda]

Date: 8/30/2008 7:35:11 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 8/30/2008 7:30:55 PM
Author: Miranda
It could be that nobody she knows has had an experience quite as miserable as hers.

True... How rare is what she expereinced? As a guy, we tend to tread very lightly around these areas, and not ask too many questions... haha

Gosh, I don''t know. Maybe you should start a poll

? I can only speak for myself. I have had three kids and none of my deliveries were anything like hers. I was feeling great and in my pre preggo clothes after about a week. My body looked a bit different, but, it was far from bad ape boobs! OMG, I''m loving that comment. I am laughing so hard right now! OK, I''m reading her comments as I post...I didn''t have any bedroom troubles during pregnancy or after. I was tired in the beginning of pregnancy and had nausea and frequent headaches. Nothing terrible. Nipples didn''t change - that one perplexes me. I never had to wear diapers. I mean, it''s not an easy or pain free experience, but, there''s a lot you can do to improve things. You are growing a person after all!

I don''t know anyone - and most of my friends/family have had kids - that has had an experience quite like your friend''s. Like I said, the poor thing. Are they going to have MORE kids after that? I wouldn''t, lol!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 8/30/2008 6:23:43 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 8/30/2008 6:10:06 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Sna, all your friends seem to share a lot of info with you...interesting.

haa, why do you say that? Guy friends always talk about stuff like this... I''ve known most of my friends since my pre-teen days, so we''re very close and have been for a long time... Although I will say his wife is one of the exceptions where they as a couple are very open... i have a few friends who are, a bit more reserved around their wives... Thankfully though, not many... Thats actually one of the things I love most about my wife--I''ve never had to act differently around her than I am with my guy friends. I''m free to be myself. You have no idea how many guess change or tone it down or don''t act like themselves when around their SO...

I think I am far from reserved but yet I don''t think I have ever graphically described my childbirth, body hair or my boobs to any of my guy friends. My comment steamed from more than just *this* thread. I *know* my husband acts the same around me as his friends. I also know my DH would not wanting me to share such details with his friends.

As for childbirth a woman has to be an IDIOT to think bring a human into this world (and caring for one) is going to be a cake walk. V-birth, C-sec...it all sucks. I agree there are things that no one talks about but I don''t think they are bad enough to stop someone who *wants* to be a mother from having children. If it does than she shouldn''t have kids.

 

[sna77]

Date: 8/30/2008 8:52:09 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring


I think I am far from reserved but yet I don''t think I have ever graphically described my childbirth, body hair or my boobs to any of my guy friends. My comment steamed from more than just *this* thread. I *know* my husband acts the same around me as his friends. I also know my DH would not wanting me to share such details with his friends.

As for childbirth a woman has to be an IDIOT to think bring a human into this world (and caring for one) is going to be a cake walk. V-birth, C-sec...it all sucks. I agree there are things that no one talks about but I don''t think they are bad enough to stop someone who *wants* to be a mother from having children. If it does than she shouldn''t have kids.

uh-oh, I think I''ve developed a rep on PS... haha

as for the highlighted part... very much agreed...

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 8/30/2008 7:35:11 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 8/30/2008 7:30:55 PM
Author: Miranda
It could be that nobody she knows has had an experience quite as miserable as hers.

True... How rare is what she expereinced? As a guy, we tend to tread very lightly around these areas, and not ask too many questions... haha

Well - my experience was similar. Hemorraged while trying to deliver the placenta and required 2 blood transfusions. Fractured my tailbone while giving birth and still can''t sit normally more than 8 weeks later, bled for 7 weeks following delivery and also had a 4th degree episiotomy requiring lots of ouchie stiches and lots of pain. Still hurts down there. My body is not what is was before and I will probably never wear a bathing suit in public again.

Labor and delivery is not pretty but that''s life. You get over it and move on with your life.

I love my son more than words can say. He''s the light of my life; the apple of my eye. Watching him grow and change is the most amazing experience. I am so blessed to have him.

Diva

 

[sna77]

A few people mentioned that they''d always dreamed of having kids... I wonder if this is a female / male thing, but it makes me wonder.., because I''ve always wanted kids, I don''t know if it was something that I ever "dreamed" about--I guess I just figured it was inevitable? For instance, at what point in your life did you realize that you wanted kids and wanted to dedicate your lives to them (like being a SAHM, etc)? Personally, I love kids, and look forward to the day when my wife and I have them--its just that both my wife and I have worked so hard all our lives, with college, grad schools, and then business, thats its hard to iamgine giving all that up to be home all day... Do you ever feel like "why did i bother with college if I''m home all day?" Its always made me wonder... My mother had Master''s and was an editior at a major newspaper when she had me way back when... and just walked away when I was born (1st born)...

thanks for some insight on this... I like hearing opionons of people not in my inner circle of friends (who all seem to have the same opion)...

 

[zoebartlett]

Okay, wait, you have to deliver the uh, pla-------???? I can''t even type that word! Apparently, I have a LOT to learn. I just assumed that once the baby was out, you''re done. Oh my...