Do you have friends who exaggerate their wealth?

[nala]

I read the thread on the "Rich Friend" and it inspired me to start this thread. Do any of you have friends who constantly exaggerate their wealth? I will first clarify that I NEVER solicit this information, but I have a friend who loves to volunteer monetary details about everything...except these details never add up. For years, I actually believed her stories, but as time passed, these stories became more and more outrageous. When I actually engage in these conversations, by politely showing confusion or asking for clarification, she just changes the subject. I wonder why she does this and wonder if there are other people out there who know people like this. I mean, her stories are so exaggerated, that she claims that she paid $30 dollars for an egg MC Muffin that last time she visited Paris. Though these comments are harmless, I get the sense that she must think I'm an idiot to believe her. Even though I like her, lately it seems like she is just setting out to insult my intelligence because her exaggerations are becoming more outrageous.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I read the thread on the "Rich Friend" and it inspired me to start this thread. Do any of you have friends who constantly exaggerate their wealth? I will first clarify that I NEVER solicit this information, but I have a friend who loves to volunteer monetary details about everything...except these details never add up. For years, I actually believed her stories, but as time passed, these stories became more and more outrageous. When I actually engage in these conversations, by politely showing confusion or asking for clarification, she just changes the subject. I wonder why she does this and wonder if there are other people out there who know people like this. I mean, her stories are so exaggerated, that she claims that she paid $30 dollars for an egg MC Muffin that last time she visited Paris. Though these comments are harmless, I get the sense that she must think I'm an idiot to believe her. Even though I like her, lately it seems like she is just setting out to insult my intelligence because her exaggerations are becoming more outrageous.

The egg MC muffin was made from a golden egg..

 

[Ally T]

Yes, although not really friends more acquaintances. It usually something like when I turn up with something new, for example the mothers at school noticing the new 0.75ctw diamond pendant my husband bought me for my 40th last summer, that replaced the visually significantly smaller 0.40ctw I'd worn 24/7 for 8 years. Of course it's bigger, everyone can see that, then follows "it's lovely. Peter/Bob/Mark (whoever) has promised me a 1ct for my next birthday actually..."

Now I am not one to judge others because as I mentioned in the other thread, I have been horribly & unfairly judged all my life for various reasons, but I know this person is driving a really naff old car, has a very small house & low household income. They don't have any jewellery of note, and yet I am to believe their comment & their increased word pronunciation that is only ever adopted when talking to me? It makes me chuckle!

I also have a friend that I have known for many years, who always drops figures in casual conversation. Yawn....

 

[AGBF]

Actually, I have a friend who seems to try to hide her wealth. Not to be courteous and underplay what she has, but to to hide what she has from me. I should clarify that this is one of my closest friends whom I have now known for almost 50 years. I do not ask her for financial information, but when she volunteers it, the stories seem to change radically. I find it annoying, although it is none of my business, that she wants to mislead me. I'm sure that is a flaw in me. I mean, why should I care what she has?

Deb/AGBF

 

[missy]

We don't discuss finances with our friends.

Sure we have friends who travel all the time and live in expensive homes and have more than one home, and wear designer shoes and clothing and purses, are retired etc but we don't discuss the topic of money and finances with them.

Most if not all of our friends are like us in that they are down to earth and easy to talk to no matter their material wealth. There is no keeping up with the proverbial Joneses. I'm at a point in my life where I only maintain the relationships I want to maintain and that means keeping my true friends. People with whom I can be myself and vice versa and there is no pretense or showboating. We are who we are and no apologies and same from them.

I don't have the desire, energy or need to "show off" or the opposite "play down" and neither do my friends.

Nala and Deb, I can see how annoying that must be. Alex, I feel sorry for people who have to exaggerate or even "show off" what they have that way. I guess not everyone is as secure and confident in themselves and therefore might need to pretend that way. I don't get it and especially not with your real friends. People with whom you are comfortable being who you are.

 

[iluvshinythings]

I don't know if she's exaggerating or not, but I have a friend that constantly talks about her "stuff". Where she went on vacation. How heavy her rolex is. Why she's mad at the full-time maid. How she's stressed because she "has to get her fur coats into storage right away".... It just goes on and on. She phrases things in a way that she's not exactly bragging but she makes the point frequently that she has "stuff".

She used to be down to earth and a lot of fun. She married up and now she's making a fool of herself talking about material things all.the.time.

Most of the genuinely wealthy people I know never mention their wealth or their "stuff".

 

[Dancing Fire]

I have a friend who brags about how much he paid for his watch, but little does he know that the watch I was wearing cost 10X more than his.

 

[Calliecake]

Re: Do you have friends who exaggerate their wealth

I never discuss finances with my friends. I have friends who I'm sure are better off than my husband and I and friends who I know are not.
At the end of the day none of it matters and I have never really understood the need some people have to make others feel they are better off. I have also come to realize that many people have a lot of stuff and absolutely nothing to fall back on if they were ever put in a situation such as one of them losing a job. One of my friends constantly feels she needs to outshine her family and exaggerates her wealth often to them. I have never understood why she does it. Her sister's husband is very successful and I know it drives my friend crazy. Her sister is also extremely unhappy. My friend acts like the money is supposed to make her happy.

I have always felt if you are constantly worried that others have more than you and don't appreciate the good things in your own life you are setting yourself up to be miserable. Someone is always going to be wealthier.

 

[blackprophet]

I have a friend who exaggerates about everything. A lot of what he says about himself is a lie.
In high school it was being a boxer, and having a kid in florida.
In College, it was the amount of women he had.
Now it is the money he spends doing things.

He used to be one of my closest friends. Now if he said "My name is Bob", I would question that.

 

[Jambalaya]

Ah, the old competitive one-upmanship! Isn't it wonderful when you find yourself on the receiving end of that??

My two friends each have a child. One friend tells me that she cannot say anything about her child without the other friend chiming in with something about her own child. This friend can never just say, "Oh, your Little Jimmy worked very hard to get great grades last semester - he must be thrilled!" It has to be "Yes, we were really pleased with our Little Billy's grades, too."

Another friend has been married for about ten years and has been through a hell of a lot with her husband. Years of serious illness, many relocations, fertility problems, the works. Her husband is wonderful but she has devoted her life to the marriage and has given just as much as she has received. She has a friend who has been in a relationship with a man for 13 years, although they don't live together and actually live 100 miles apart. However, the non-married friend acts as if her distant relationship with her boyfriend is on a par with this very committed marriage. The married friend can't say a thing about her husband without the un-married friend jumping in with a comment about her own relationship - every.single.time. It drives her nuts.

Envy is everywhere, and not just about money - about so many things in life. Jealousy is a real problem in our competitive, materialistic society.

Regarding showing off about wealth, I've experienced the opposite - people who are really quite wealthy trying to make out how poor they are!!!

 

[dk168]

Friends, no, as they would not be my friends if they are not truthful to me.

Relatives, yes, and I do not hang out with them.

DK

 

[anne_h]

No, not that I know of.

There was a woman in a class I took who would regularly tell personal stories that in totality were extremely unlikely, even impossible. She would have been ~early thirties at the time. Examples include:

- Her house had burned down
- Her husband almost died of brain cancer
- She had been recruited by the CIA to be a spy (she's not American)
- She sold artwork worth millions of dollars
- Ditto for boats
- She had consulting engagements with multiple African governments
- She founded and sold multiple companies, including one that produced equipment for NASA
- She invented an oil pipeline measuring device that was used by GE
- She had founded a company whose intellectual property was stolen by a municipal government
- She had met various presidents and stars (and could introduce others of course)

And others that I cannot remember.

Anyways, initially we believed some things, but over time realized that she was embellishing/lying. And by the end, decided she probably had some type of real disorder.

I'm not sure what happened to her. According to her, she was not successful at finding or keeping a job. I can certainly see why.

Anne

 

[Sunstorm]

I think that staying away from finances with friends in general is a great idea. We normally do not discuss them either. If I have a friend who has been one of my best friends for a decade or more and they are in need I will be there to help but besides that in my opinion finances should be taboo. That is the way to go in order to avoid any problems.

Of course we compliment each other on things we got or sometimes shop together. My problem is that I have some acquaintances that I know make more money than me, yet they are always jealous and not just jealous but they will make comments that I always have such nice this and that and try to push me into giving them things for free.

Honestly one must be very careful with such people, so sucked into either bragging or complaining. A girl that visited me with my best friend is a doctor and she will only wear cheap things, yet she kept asking me for clothes, etc.??? Another girl that I met a few times expected me to keep inviting her because she has no money, yet obviously she did intend to go out somehow. I think best to draw the lines and not allow others to treat us like fools. I will invite someone when I want to and I will offer gifts when I want to but to be asked for such? No thank you.

Some will always complain. A rich girlfriend of mine will always comment on my diamonds and that she would want this and that for of course about one tenth of its value but no she has no money for them because she must buy her tenth apartment. Some people are truly ridiculous. Surely, she would expect me to just give her one.