Did you know about "stealthing" before today?

[kenny]

Did you know what "stealthing" was, before reading the news today?
I didn't.

California is the 1st state to ban 'stealthing,' nonconsensual condom removal

Stealthing can result in pregnancy or the transmission of a sexually transmitted disease, but advocates say removal is itself a violation. Victims will be able to sue the perpetrators in civil court.

www.npr.org

I would imagine in the vast majority of cases it's the man who does it ... as in, she consents only if he wears the raincoat, but once the man gets started he 'stealthily' removes it.

Since I have no clue about the sexual experience of women, I'll ask this ...
How likely is it that a woman would remove it?

 

[AprilBaby]

I’ve never heard of it. Yes a woman might remove it if she wants to get pregnant for gain or guilt.

 

[Matata]

I've recently became aware of it but I don't remember how -- probably googled "expandable garden hoses" and fell into the rabbit hole of the internets.

 

[Calliecake]

I have heard about this but didn’t know there was a name for it. If 32% of women have had this happen to them it’s another strong reason why abortion needs to be kept legal across the country.

I haven’t heard of a woman removing the condom. i would thnk the man would know if the woman removed the condom.

 

[TooPatient]

Answered yes then changed to no. I know "stealthing" as it is used by those of us with a Stealth Board that has an app to make planking exercises fun. Had never heard of the stealthing mentioned in your post.

I don't know of anyone who has done that and said so to me, but I do know of a woman who quit taking her birth control to manipulate the man and said so after she got pregnant. I can easily imagine her doing such a thing with a condom also.

Question for men... Would you notice? I mean, it seems like the thing would be felt to be there and then gone. Could it be removed and the guy not know?

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I’ve heard of stealthing - imo it’s a crime, and one that terrifies me as a young woman who does not want to get pregnant. I mean, I trust my SO, but before we got together, it was something that would be at the back of my mind when I started seeing someone new. Luckily, it’s never happened to me, but it has happened to a few friends of mine. The impetus from what I’ve heard is not so much wanting to trap a woman with a baby, but rather selfish men who think that a condom doesn’t “feel as good” and have no trouble inflicting unwanted pregnancy and STDs on women for a few minutes of marginally better pleasure.

I can’t imagine that a woman could take a condom off a man and have him not notice. Lie about birth control? Yes.

 

[Calliecake]

I’ve heard of stealthing - imo it’s a crime, and one that terrifies me as a young woman who does not want to get pregnant. I mean, I trust my SO, but before we got together, it was something that would be at the back of my mind when I started seeing someone new. Luckily, it’s never happened to me, but it has happened to a few friends of mine. The impetus from what I’ve heard is not so much wanting to trap a woman with a baby, but rather selfish men who think that a condom doesn’t “feel as good” and have no trouble inflicting unwanted pregnancy and STDs on women for a few minutes of marginally better pleasure.

I can’t imagine that a woman could take a condom off a man and have him not notice. Lie about birth control? Yes.

The article I read about it sounded like it came down to a man not wanting to wear the condom.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

This makes me shudder... good that it's possible to sanction it in Cali now.
Strong signal that it's not only wrong, it's a crime (well if one needs a court to know this , it's already a huge societal problem, IMO)

It seems to me I've heard about it because there were lawsuits in Germany involving both gay and straight interactions, the first cases brought to court being interactions between two men. In Germany the courts have come to punish this as a crime within the last 3-4 years, while I think in France there haven't (sadly) been any convictions yet.

 

[missy]

I learn something new every day. Thank you Pricescope.

 

[missy]

In Texas, If it is illegal to have an abortion after six weeks even if one is raped I highly doubt the people who make the laws would give a fig about "stealthing". Why? Because those people really don't care about women or their rights. And they care only about their self righteous and hypocritical values.

 

[BrownGinger]

I was not aware of the term stealthing but I remember an old coworker telling me about that happening to her and she wasn’t sure if she should break up with him. I was appalled and thought it was a red flag that he was psycho but she didn’t break up with him and they are now married. I still can’t help but be grossed out when she posts pictures on Facebook with him in it.

 

[Calliecake]

I was not aware of the term stealthing but I remember an old coworker telling me about that happening to her and she wasn’t sure if she should break up with him. I was appalled and thought it was a red flag that he was psycho but she didn’t break up with him and they are now married. I still can’t help but be grossed out when she posts pictures on Facebook with him in it.

OMG. She married this man??? I’m sure this will turn out well.

 

[Ally T]

I have heard of it, as it has been a criminal offence in the UK for a little while now.

 

[GoldenTouch]

A man would know if a women removed his condom - so that is not stealthing. That is just stupidity. If he didn’t want to follow through with out one he would just say no… so NO excuse for her falling pregnant. I would class him as an idiot.
Stealthing is the person with the penis removes it during intercourse but the other person has NO idea.
It is now illegal in ACT in Australia from this Thursday jus gone. All other states need to make this law as well.
I have had someone attempt this with me, luckily it didn’t happen!
I read this statistic on the news yesterday and the figures shocked me.
“”A joint study by the Melbourne Sexual Health Centre and Monash University that found out of 2000 people, a “staggering” one in three woman, and nearly one in five men who have sex with other men, reported being victims of stealthing.”

 

[GliderPoss]

Yea I’d heard of it but thankfully never experienced it myself. It’s illegal here in ACT and I honestly think it’s a heinous crime.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Oh I've heard of it happening plenty (especially in college) but to have the term applied to it is new.

 

[Wink]

OMG.

I used to "stealth myself through the forrest" when I was hunting deer and elk with my bow. I was pretty sure that was not what you were talking about in the title of this thread. I am flabbergasted that anyone would do this to another.

I kind of wish I had not opened this thread, now I will overthink this prior to going to sleep...

Wink

 

[Ella]

Folks, this is not a place to create justifications for sexual assault. Some posts have been removed as a result.

 

[kenny]

My (now removed) posts in this thread have bent over backwards to make it clear I condemn stealthing, the opposite of justifying sexual assault.
I even confessed here (also removed) that have been the victim of stealthing and "I made a bit of a scene and immediately dumped the guy."

I don't recall all of exact terms I've used, but in this thread I have clearly called stealthing criminal and violence.

When asking what could be going on in the mind of someone who would stealth I even put the term "reason" in quote, and again repeated my condemnation of stealthing as a crime.

 

[Ella]

Kenny, there were multiple posts removed in this thread from multiple people. We don't need to speculate about why someone might stealth. That is not an appropriate intellectual exercise for PS.

Giving "reasons" for sexual assault is part of rape culture where sexual violence becomes normalized, and one way is by folks talking about reasons "why" someone might have been assaulted. It's similar to justifying rape by saying "but she was wearing a short skirt" or "was she drunk?" It doesn't matte why, it's an assault and a crime, and speculating about reasons for it only normalizes the behavior.