Depressed

[jitterymo]

I just had an entire post and somehow my computer just ate it! making me more depressed...

Things on my mind that could be involved with this sudden urge of depression:

1) Baby Brother going to Afghanistan in a week or two

2) loosing weight, but the more weight I lose the hard it''s getting, and I still have a long way to go

3) with all the exercising I''m doing I have horrible acne!!! I can''t get rid of it, tried everything!!!

4) I''m giving my "ex" best friend a baby shower because she asked me to and I can''t say no, I LOVE PARTY PLANNING!!!, but no one would do it for her, not her mother or her maid of honor, who is her sister!

5) my mom is 50 in July, and we are having a surprise party for her, and I''ve become the "person" in charge, because if I don''t, it won''t get done, and my mom deserves it!

6) with all the County Budget mess I might have to take a pay cut or do a furlough

7) I really want to move, as our small apartment is becoming overwhelming to me... we have to much stuff, but I''m not ready to really get rid of things, as it''s not that we have to much stuff, just to much stuff for that place, but we decided not to move until we are ready to buy a house, we are going to start looking in about a year, I think we''ll be ready in a year

and of course, I STILL HAVE NO RING, but actually that''s the least of my worries, because I know that is out of my control and it will happen sooner or later, though it would be fantastic if it was sooner

man-o-man when I type it all out I feel like I''m falling apart! Thanks for listening to my garbage! tee-hee

 

[jitterymo]

9) my dad had surgery last week on his foot, as he can''t feel it, long story, and we won''t know for several weeks if the surgery worked or not...

I know all these things are small on when you look at a BIGGER picture, like the world and such, I''m just feeling a bit down and under because of it all...

so I''m sorry if these things are no biggie to you...

 

[sweetliloldme]

Aww spaniel,

im so sorry that your feeling like this. I know it all to well, as I get like that sometimes. I hate that feeling, and wouldn''t wish it on anyone. It seems to me (well at least with my own experience, and psychology background) that you''re the kind of person that always does everything for everyone else, nothing get''s done for you and you let everything build up without saying it to anyone. Then, it finially hits you all at once and it''s terrible and really tough to deal with. You feel like everything is just going wrong at the same time. Am I right? If I''m not let me know.

let''s go down the list with ways to make you feel better about them:

1) Your brother leaving is really hard, and it''s obviously bothering you since it''s number one. ( I know the feeling of trying to protect a younger sibling and having to let them go.) Obviously our situation is completly different, as your brother WILL come home safe. As terrible as being in Afghanistan is, that''s something that is out of your control. He made the choice to join the military, and now the only thing to do is support him and talk as much as possible and let him know that you can''t wait for him to come home.

2) Losing weight and being on a diet is really tough, but remember that your doing the right thing! Your losing the weight, and that is awsome. I know it''s not right away and that it takes a while, but your on the right path. Don''t get discouraged, and think how awsome you''ll feel when you reach your goal.

3) Acne sucks. No if and''s or buts about it. I have it too, and sometimes there''s nothing to be done about it. Have you tried wasing your face before and after excercising so that the sweat and dirt doesn''t have time to settle into your pores? That may help, but if not it doesn''t make you any less pretty because your skin isn''t cooaperating.

4) This one is tough. You want to help her because you feel bad for her, but in doing so your making your life more stressful. For whatever reason she''s no longer your best friend, so something had to happen for you both to feel that way. Either she did something or you did, and that means that you don''t have to do it. I know you feel bad, but sometimes recognizing that you can''t always help everyone is the best thing for you. (if only i could take my own advice.) Again I know what that''s like, and it wouldn''t be a problem if it wasn''t bothering you. What''s the worst that could happen, she would have to throw her own shower. As sucky as that might be for her, again it''s not your problem and you can''t help the fact that her family isn''t there for her. Not saying that you should or shouldn''t be doing it...

5) The stress of throwing a party for another person is just an add on. She''s your mom and that''s why your doing it, but that''s another thing thats making you feel overwhelmed. Maybe you should designate roles for people to help. I know it''s sometimes easier to do it yourself, but it''s not fair for you to have to do everything.

6) Financial strain is something that so many people are going through. It really sucks. If you were to have to take a budget cut, would it be a significant enough one to effect your bills? Would looking for another job be an option for you? Or you you re arrange your budget a little? I know how your feeling.. again it''s just one thing on top pf another.

7) I know you''ll be ready for a house in a year, but is getting a little bit bigger of an apartment an option? Or maybe storing some stuff that you don''t need right now in another place? That might buy you enough time until you do move, that way you don''t feel so closed in.

Not having a ring.- One of the things that keeps popping up on my list too. Like you said, it will happen sooner or later (it would just be nice like soon so you could have one thing to be happy about, right?) I really can''t offer too much insight on this one cause im in the same boat that you are sweetheart.

All that I can say is hang in there, were here for supoprt, and your doing the best thing for you--letting it all out. Talking about it is the best thing to do, especially when there seems that theres nothing else that you can do.

 

[sweetliloldme]

Date: 5/6/2009 11:21:37 AM
Author: ILoveSpinel
9) my dad had surgery last week on his foot, as he can''t feel it, long story, and we won''t know for several weeks if the surgery worked or not...

I know all these things are small on when you look at a BIGGER picture, like the world and such, I''m just feeling a bit down and under because of it all...

so I''m sorry if these things are no biggie to you...

If something is bothering you this muuch, then it''s not so small. And like I figured it''s everything all at once. you can sometimes feel like your siffocating when that happens. I feel like I''m in the middle of the room screaming and no one hears me because theyre too busy. It really is the worst. But, on the up side it''s just one of the bad days that everyone has and it passes. I know that''s not any help now, but it''s nice to know that you won''t always be feeling this way.

 

[MonkeyPants]

Hi Hon,

I get bouts of depression when my whole world feels like it''s falling apart and I feel overwhelmed with trying to keep it together. It really does help to vent in writing so I''m glad you did that.
Try not to worry about things you can''t control like your brother going Afghanistan and your dad''s surgery (I know, easier said than done).
As far as the weight thing, try changing up your workout using challenging weights. I also find that I sweat less when I lift weights (even heavy weights) vs. doing cardio. (But don''t stop exercising--endorphins are good!).
Clearly you are quite dependable if people are asking you to plan important events. I''m sure your mom and ex-bestie will be extremely grateful to you.
I''ve had to take a furlough day as well. Use it as a day to relax. I say Woot!Woot! to a four day work week!
The small apt. thing I totally get. Purging stuff always makes me feel better and your "cozy" place will seem bigger with less stuff.

I know advice given is always "easier said than done," but keep your chin up girly!

 

[Lilac]

That''s a lot to handle at once. I''m sorry you''re dealing with all of this!

Some of those things aren''t really anything you can prevent (such as your brother going to Afghanistan or it being hard to lose more weight), but have you gone to the dermatologist about the acne? Maybe he/she could help with that. As for all the planning you''re doing, is there anyone who can help you? Maybe you can still do a bunch of the planning, but delegate a couple things to others to take some of the load off of yourself? I know how hard it is to be in charge of planning things and it can get SO stressful if you don''t have help with it.

I think you need to take a little time for yourself, even if it''s just a few hours to recharge. Take a bubble bath or a long shower. It won''t help permanently because those are stressful things you''re dealing with and they won''t just go away, but at least if you take an hour or two to relax and focus on yourself it might help you clear your mind and be able to tackle some of the issues bothering you.

And we''re all here to listen if you just need to vent or talk!

 

[jitterymo]

Date: 5/6/2009 11:38:43 AM
Author: sweetliloldme
Aww spaniel,

im so sorry that your feeling like this. I know it all to well, as I get like that sometimes. I hate that feeling, and wouldn''t wish it on anyone. It seems to me (well at least with my own experience, and psychology background) that you''re the kind of person that always does everything for everyone else, nothing get''s done for you and you let everything build up without saying it to anyone. Then, it finially hits you all at once and it''s terrible and really tough to deal with. You feel like everything is just going wrong at the same time. Am I right? If I''m not let me know.

let''s go down the list with ways to make you feel better about them:

1) Your brother leaving is really hard, and it''s obviously bothering you since it''s number one. ( I know the feeling of trying to protect a younger sibling and having to let them go.) Obviously our situation is completly different, as your brother WILL come home safe. As terrible as being in Afghanistan is, that''s something that is out of your control. He made the choice to join the military, and now the only thing to do is support him and talk as much as possible and let him know that you can''t wait for him to come home.

2) Losing weight and being on a diet is really tough, but remember that your doing the right thing! Your losing the weight, and that is awsome. I know it''s not right away and that it takes a while, but your on the right path. Don''t get discouraged, and think how awsome you''ll feel when you reach your goal.

3) Acne sucks. No if and''s or buts about it. I have it too, and sometimes there''s nothing to be done about it. Have you tried wasing your face before and after excercising so that the sweat and dirt doesn''t have time to settle into your pores? That may help, but if not it doesn''t make you any less pretty because your skin isn''t cooaperating.

4) This one is tough. You want to help her because you feel bad for her, but in doing so your making your life more stressful. For whatever reason she''s no longer your best friend, so something had to happen for you both to feel that way. Either she did something or you did, and that means that you don''t have to do it. I know you feel bad, but sometimes recognizing that you can''t always help everyone is the best thing for you. (if only i could take my own advice.) Again I know what that''s like, and it wouldn''t be a problem if it wasn''t bothering you. What''s the worst that could happen, she would have to throw her own shower. As sucky as that might be for her, again it''s not your problem and you can''t help the fact that her family isn''t there for her. Not saying that you should or shouldn''t be doing it...

5) The stress of throwing a party for another person is just an add on. She''s your mom and that''s why your doing it, but that''s another thing thats making you feel overwhelmed. Maybe you should designate roles for people to help. I know it''s sometimes easier to do it yourself, but it''s not fair for you to have to do everything.

6) Financial strain is something that so many people are going through. It really sucks. If you were to have to take a budget cut, would it be a significant enough one to effect your bills? Would looking for another job be an option for you? Or you you re arrange your budget a little? I know how your feeling.. again it''s just one thing on top pf another.

7) I know you''ll be ready for a house in a year, but is getting a little bit bigger of an apartment an option? Or maybe storing some stuff that you don''t need right now in another place? That might buy you enough time until you do move, that way you don''t feel so closed in.

Not having a ring.- One of the things that keeps popping up on my list too. Like you said, it will happen sooner or later (it would just be nice like soon so you could have one thing to be happy about, right?) I really can''t offer too much insight on this one cause im in the same boat that you are sweetheart.

All that I can say is hang in there, were here for supoprt, and your doing the best thing for you--letting it all out. Talking about it is the best thing to do, especially when there seems that theres nothing else that you can do.

Thanks so much for all the kind words, really!!!

1) the military really is the best option for my brother, he''s really good at it, I''m sure he''ll be fine!!! as he is a trooper!!! and I think that it really just hit me hard with all the other stuff going on.
2)I love the way I feel in my clothes, my new clothes for that fact, i can''t wait to post my before and after pics
3) this is a toughy as you said, i''m going to start trying proactive this week i think, yes i do wash my face before and after a work out, and when i get up in the morning and before i go to bed
4)let''s just say we aren''t "best friends" because we lived together, and we saw the GOOD, BAD and UGLY!!! I still love her though and want the very best, I do have some people that said they are going to get with me this weekend to put together the invites... YEY...
5) although this stresses me out my sister will be finishing school in two weeks and will probably do a good majority of the planning for this, as it''s a 50''s theme, for her 50th, get it, tee-hee, and she is really into the 50''s!!! She doesn''t understand how every woman doesn''t want to be June Cleaver.
6) i''m sure I''ll be fine here, my BF makes almost 2x what I do, and our Rent is cheap, taking me to the next thing
7) we have really good rent!!! which helps out on paying those darn bills! and helps out with a large portion of debt, which we are trying to get out of.
not really stressed about this, just more excited about the thought of it might happening sometime this year!!!
9) yeah my dad was in a car accident about 13 years ago, it was bad and he has had lot of problems because of it... he on the road to recovery everyday though, and is in good spirits!!!

Thanks so much... it means alot that someone i don''t even know says such nice things to cheer someone up

 

[jitterymo]

Date: 5/6/2009 12:18:32 PM
Author: MonkeyPants

Hi Hon,

I get bouts of depression when my whole world feels like it''s falling apart and I feel overwhelmed with trying to keep it together. It really does help to vent in writing so I''m glad you did that.
Try not to worry about things you can''t control like your brother going Afghanistan and your dad''s surgery (I know, easier said than done).
As far as the weight thing, try changing up your workout using challenging weights. I also find that I sweat less when I lift weights (even heavy weights) vs. doing cardio. (But don''t stop exercising--endorphins are good!).
Clearly you are quite dependable if people are asking you to plan important events. I''m sure your mom and ex-bestie will be extremely grateful to you.
I''ve had to take a furlough day as well. Use it as a day to relax. I say Woot!Woot! to a four day work week!
The small apt. thing I totally get. Purging stuff always makes me feel better and your ''cozy'' place will seem bigger with less stuff.

I know advice given is always ''easier said than done,'' but keep your chin up girly!

I just want to say off topic, i love your screen name!!! when i was little i wanted to be a money trainer... i was adorable!!! tee-hee

Back on topic, I do think that I am dependable! and I''m a good party planner, have done many! and these will be no exception!!!

yeah it would be nice to have a 4 day work week... but i like my paycheck the way it is... though i''m sure i can afford a day off every other week, i just love shoes and shopping, so that would take a small chunk of my shoe/shopping budget, yeah i''m gready...

I will be doing a garage sale in September!!! I''m so very excited about it, maybe i''ll have someone help me with the purdging, that always helps!!!

I will keep the chin up...Thanks so very much, it''s so kind of you to be so nice!!!

oh and thanks for the advise about my workouts!!! i have been doing a lot of cardio, 5K on my elliptical every other day or so, plus my fit camp, plus running about 7 miles on the weekend.

 

[sweetliloldme]

No problem, I''m glad I could help even if just a little bit. I hate having those days (seem to have em more often lately) and I hate feeling that way, so I would never want anyone else to either. I''m new to PS, but I get the drift that that''s what the LIW forum is for-a support system. Hope you feel better!

 

[jitterymo]

Date: 5/6/2009 12:44:02 PM
Author: Lilac
That''s a lot to handle at once. I''m sorry you''re dealing with all of this!

Some of those things aren''t really anything you can prevent (such as your brother going to Afghanistan or it being hard to lose more weight), but have you gone to the dermatologist about the acne? Maybe he/she could help with that. As for all the planning you''re doing, is there anyone who can help you? Maybe you can still do a bunch of the planning, but delegate a couple things to others to take some of the load off of yourself? I know how hard it is to be in charge of planning things and it can get SO stressful if you don''t have help with it.

I think you need to take a little time for yourself, even if it''s just a few hours to recharge. Take a bubble bath or a long shower. It won''t help permanently because those are stressful things you''re dealing with and they won''t just go away, but at least if you take an hour or two to relax and focus on yourself it might help you clear your mind and be able to tackle some of the issues bothering you.

And we''re all here to listen if you just need to vent or talk!

I Do need some time to myself, Thanks, it''s hard for me to admit it for some reason!!! and I do plan on getting help, it''s funny because when i take time to myself guess what i do.... i party plan!!! or scrapbook, which i haven''t done in a long long time and would really like to do this weekend! I promise myself that I will spend at least 3 hours to myself in my scrapbook room - note, it''s at my parents house, but thats ok.

thanks i don''t vent very often, so it''s nice that people are here willing to listen, or i guess read.

 

[Squirrly]

hopefully you can take a day to yourself soon and just relax, and then hopefully everything will seem to sort itself out

ok attempt to respond in a semi-organized fashion:

1. my SO went to iraq shortly after we met, and a bunch of his/our friends left for afghanistan last week. something that helped me a lot, and i know that he and his friends enjoyed, was sending care packages. i''d go to dollar tree and raid the toy aisle (because it''s cheap, breakable stuff, and well they''ll probably break just about anything) and grab chips and baked cookies. i know internet connectivity isn''t as good in afghanistan as it was in iraq, but sending letters, even if it''s just silly things will make you feel better and will make him happy. i don''t know anyone who''s not excited to get mail

2. good news about the losing weight getting harder: that means you''re getting closer to your ideal weight. the heavier you are the easier it is to lose the weight, so just keep that in mind, you''re body''s telling you you''ve lost so much already that it''s going to fight you for this last little bit you have left. as it gets harder start trying different exercises. then you can surprise your body with these different exercises and it''ll be easier to get the weight off.

3. sounds like you''re working out hard to be sweating that much! if it''s on your body that you''re worried about it might be that your clothes are trapping sweat in those places, facial wise it might be that you''re touching your face a lot more to wipe off sweat. but if nothing works then you''ll just *have* to have a spa day for yourself and sit around the house wearing facial masks and relaxing.

4. sad that her family doesn''t seem to care, but it shows how wonderful you are just to do this for your ex-best friend.

5. yay 50! i hope you''re getting her that special over the hill stuff

6. boo. but as others have mentioned that extra day off just might come in handy with all this party planning you''re doing. also, with all this party planning maybe you could try doing some of this on the side for some extra money if you do end up getting cut back, you certainly seem to be getting your fair share of experience with it!

7. just think, by the time you have a house you''ll have enough for it to be fully furnished

it''s not too much stuff, it''s collecting for that house you''ll be getting.

8. i''ll hit your boy over the head if you''ll hit mine.

9. i''ll keep your dad in my prayers. and once he feels his foot again and stubs his toe just remind him how much he wanted to be able to feel his foot again.

 

[Lauren8211]

You''ve already gotten some great advice. Just wanted to chime and say I''m sorry that you''re having a rough time right now. Things will turn around. It will get better. Try to stay positive, and take care of yourself!

 

[Dreamgirl]

I know how you feel! So much has been happening (bad things) since March to me and my loved ones. It''s been stressing me out to the max. All I can really say is that I''m so sorry you are going through all of this right now. The only thing that is making me feel better about everything is one of my favorite sayings "This too shall pass."

**HUGS**

 

[jcarlylew]

*hugs*

 

[jitterymo]

Took my car to the shop today for a tune up... and the verdict...

NEW BRAKES!!!! Hope it doesn''t effect our (BF and I) trip to Vegas next month...

 

[tlh]

when it rains... it pours. Sometimes it is just the outlook, but it is hard not to see all the negative stuff, when stress is so high.

I''m wishing you the best. YOU DESERVE THAT VEGAS VACATION... so even if times are tight, I''d still go - and HAVE FUN!