Dealing with disappointment, any advice?

[SarahLovesJS]

So my FI doesn''t ask for a lot..he''s one of those guys that just goes with the flow and occasionally sees a book or video game or something he wants. He drives the older car..wears clothes until they fall apart, etc. He''s been waiting for this video game for years *literally years* and it finally came out..and it won''t work on his computer. He has a nice computer his parents bought while he was in college and a decent (albeit becoming dated) graphics card. Looks like he''s gone through every option out there according to Alienware and to the game tech support. I just feel so horrible for him..it installed seamlessly on my computer since it''s only months old..but apparently won''t work on his for some random reason (the only reason he could get out of them was that it might be because it''s a notebook chipset and they didn''t test that). He insists I play this game..and I want to..but I feel like I took something from him or something. It''s like getting someone else''s Christmas present. And now..he''s not happy with his computer anymore and desperately trying to figure out how to afford another one since his computer must be old and crappy if it won''t run this. *sigh* And there''s no way we can afford that unless he gets a promotion (not sure if he''s been there long enough) or put off the honeymoon (he refuses to do that for a new computer..thank God). And of course all of his friends can play just fine. Sorry if this seems insignificant to some of you..it is in all reality..I just hate seeming him sad even if it is about something little in the big scheme of things. Not to mention we have to figure out a way to get our money back since we don''t have any money to waste. I have a surprise b-day party planned for him in a few weeks, but I need some way to make him feel better now, any advice?

How do you deal and cope with disappointment?

What cheers you up?

 

[iheartscience]

Why don''t you switch computers with him for the time being so he can play the game?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Yeah I''ve offered that...and even offered to give him mine next year (less than a year really..like August of 2009) when I start law school because I can get a loan for a new one for myself. But he says no to the first and maybe to the second. I was able to get him to play it a bit last night..but he says it''s just not the same.

I know it''s so silly and fickle, I just feel so bad for him!

 

[lovegem]

my DH (we just got married,YAY!) is the same as your guy. He doesn''t have anything that cost more than my diamond ring. He has many interests and one of them is playing computer games. He has a very good computer (Just bought this year). If there is anything we have excessive, it will be computers and laptops. Anyhow, even with the best computer sometimes you still have incompatibility issues with the games. What my DH does if something like that happens is to look up helps on the internet. If your FI had been waiting for this game for this long, there are must be lots of people out there doing the same thing. The chance that they have an old computer would be very high. Trust me, if you look up help on the internet, you will find your solution without buying a new computer (that''s what my DH says). Those geeks out there will find solutions (make game patches, little upgrades etc to make the game work).

What kind of computer upgrade your FI is thinking that is too expensive to do? If you don''t mind I ask, how much can you afford to get a new computer? There are a number of companies out there that have good deals on computers (especially in August and early sept).

 

[mimzy]

i would get to the bottom of why it isn''t running on his computer before you do anything else. most things, even in a notebook, are replaceable, assuming it''s not a specially sized one (and especially if it is a special gaming one). i mean, there are only so many parts - surely someone can help you narrow it down!


what kind of notebook does he have? stefan is a computer engineer who''s really big into computer games so he''s constantly upgrading his and his friends computers - maybe we can help?!?

 

[radiantquest]

oh, i know exactly how you feel. i hate for him to be unhappy. he was so excited for the lost game to come out. he bought the ps3 and everything for it and it turned out to suck. he was sick when the ps3 arrived and the whole day he was bummed so i can relate a little. you have done all that you could do, you offered up yours to him. is there any way that he can finance one through dell since you dont have the cash now?

 

[MonkeyPie]

My husband is the exact same way. We couldn''t afford a new computer all at once, so we compromised - he bought a piece at a time until he could build it himself, and it only took about a month even though everything he bought was fairly high-end. It might be worth it for your FI to look into that. Waiting a couple more months is better than a year.

 

[asscherisme]

What about bringing the computer and game to a local repair shop, could it be something simple that you could buy to update memory or something (keep in mind I know nothing about compuers)

 

[Sabine]

That stinks Sarah! I know this probably isn''t what you want to do, but are you sure you couldn''t afford a new computer for him? My computer died right before the wedding when we were totally strapped for cash, and I couldn''t go without one, so I bought a new laptop (brand new, from Best Buy) for $400. It was one of their cheapest ones, and probably not as nice as one I would have gotten if I could have waited a little longer, but it works fine (much better than my old one actually), so maybe buying a cheap laptop or even a desktop could be an option?

 

[purrfectpear]

Pick up a second or weekend job for a month. You should be able to surprise him with a newer computer then.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hi everyone! I am going to try to respond individually, sorry if I miss someone.

lovegem: Congrats on getting married, btw! He''s been scouring the internet (and so have I..I''m actually the one that found a mod to get his drivers to work yaaay me!) and he has found some people in the UK with his problem. So hopefully someone will create some kind of patch or something since the company seems to refuse to do so. Don''t know if I mentioned this..but they did offer to help us return it which is nice I guess since we wasted like $40. As for a computer..honestly..nothing. Everything he makes and the bit I make (working a bit while in school) is going toward the wedding next June.

But if he does get a promotion..or if we cut back on the honeymoon..or something..maybe we can afford it I guess. The thing is..his computer is not bad, so to upgrade it he''d need to spend enough to get a newer decent one or otherwise it''s pointless. Is it worth that for one game? Everything else he has and wants will run. I kind of wonder about that..

mimzy: Yeah..that''s true. I think I am going to wait a bit longer before we return the game, too. Unfortunately..haha..it is specially sized..it''s actually a "mobile desktop" which is keyword for MASSIVE! It''s got like a 17inch screen..the thing is huge. Guess he should have went with the desktop afterall. sigh. It''s an Alienware from I think 3 years ago..so the graphics card is good, but not as good anymore. Annnnd of course the warranty just ran out last month..and he can''t extend it they said (I assume because it already ran out). If you want to tell Stefan what goes on...when he opens the game the whole screen goes green.

So it''s clearly not rendering the game correctly. The pointer still comes up and you can hear the music, but no images and you have to ctrl alt delete to get out of it. He''s updated his drivers, XP service pack, .net, etc. Everything. So they just keep saying.."Well do you have the latest drivers." He''s done everything he''s supposed to do..and even passed the requirements test that came with the game..yeeeet it won''t work. *sigh* Thank you for offering help!

radiantquest: Oh man that is not cool you do know how I feel!!

That''s always really horrible. And the PS3 is so expensive, too..ahhh! Yeah I was thinking about offering that to him. I guess we should see how much it is. I get a student discount through dell..so that''s nice. I have a Dell XPS and it''s been good so far other than a graphics issue which they''re going to fix when I get around to actually sending it in.

monkeypie: I''ll tell FI to look into that, too..thank you!

asscherisme: Well you are on to something..I offered getting a new graphics card since the rest of the computer is fine. He claims they don''t make a lot of graphics cards in notebook version and if they did he''d rather install it himself. Wow I am making him sound difficult, haha. Anyway, I''ve been doing some online searches at bestbuy and places like that and haven''t really found one that works so far. I assumed the PCI slot ones were for notebooks..but apparently I am wrong? So confusing.

Sabine: Hi Sabine!! How have you been? He went and added up the cheapest laptop he could find with the bare minimum he needed and is now trying to figure out how to afford it.

Maybe we can? I''ll look at the budget again tonight. Things have been seriously tight lately, so I am hesititant to do this. Especially when he owes me money and I need it back by the end of this month to pay for my textbooks!

Haha.

purrfectpear: Hello! I offered him my job money..he said no..but maybe I can still work something out, that''s a good idea!

Sorry for any typos, it was a lot to respond to. Thanks again everyone! I think he''s feeling a bit better today, so that''s the good news.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Just wanted to tell everyone FI is doing much better..but I also think he may be able to afford his new computer after-all. He found out yesterday that he got a raise!

I am really proud of him!

 

[strmrdr]

Is it in 32 bit color mode?
Sometimes its just the simple things...

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I will ask him!

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 9/12/2008 6:05:59 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
I will ask him!

It is really complicated but some features aren't available in all color modes.
usually but not always they are all available in the top mode which should be 32bit but if it is in 32bit try 24 just in case because that happens also.
I have ran into this a million times.
Actually ran into it today with a client that called me for help because a cad application wasn't rendering.
One of the features the program needed was not available in 24 bit mode but was in 32.
It passed the tests but the actual program didn't work properly in 24 bit mode.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 9/12/2008 5:09:42 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Just wanted to tell everyone FI is doing much better..but I also think he may be able to afford his new computer after-all. He found out yesterday that he got a raise!

I am really proud of him!

That is GREAT news, Sarah!! Sorry I didn''t see this earlier, but I know exactly how your honey feels because my J is the same way--he''s really looking forward to Fallout 3 and it isn''t going to work on his computer either. How WONDERFUL that your FI got a raise!! Congrats to him!!!

Also, I think the thing strm was talking about might be that games usually are set by default on the highest graphics setting--your FI might be able to make it run better if he turns the graphics down a bit, until he gets a new machine, that is.

 

[girlie-girl]

What game is it? I''m a gamer and can possibly offer some suggestions for him. I will say right off the bat though that most of today''s games will not run with ''onboard'' graphics. What this means, for those who don''t already know, is the graphic functions are taken care of by the motherboard and not a graphics card. This setup simply isn''t powerful enough for today''s games. All the driver updates in the world will not rectify a situation like that. Some laptops don''t have the connections available to add a graphics card to them, which is why it''s a possibility that nothing can be done to his current rig to make this game work.

Do you know the details of the game and machine he''s trying to play on? Does his laptop have a graphics card? If so, which one?