Crushed

[justginger]

Thank you again, everyone. Today has been such a challenge. I've been sick the past couple of days and was staying home from work today anyway -- but that means I have been home alone all day, sick and sad. It's hard to be sad by yourself, so thank you for sharing in the pain with me. I am proud of what we do as foster carers, and I know we made a genuine difference in Trifecta's short life. He was in poor condition when we got him and wouldn't have lasted more than a few more days on the streets. At least he got another month with us, and was genuinely happy while he was here. I just wish we could have done more, I wish I had found him in the night when he was perhaps saveable.

I have visited him in his little box, where he rests until DH gets home from work to bury him. It may be morbid, but it feels right to stroke him and talk to him, and have a bit of a cry. What is left is a shell, the essence of him is gone. It makes me more comfortable with the thought of burying him because it's not really HIM. I've saved a tuft of his fur, which will go in the frame of a painting I am having made of him. He can sit on my bedside table now, close to the shoulder he always perched on.

I do treasure the thought of seeing him again at the Rainbow Bridge, along with all of the other furbabies that have played an important role in my life.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Thank you again, everyone. Today has been such a challenge. I've been sick the past couple of days and was staying home from work today anyway -- but that means I have been home alone all day, sick and sad. It's hard to be sad by yourself, so thank you for sharing in the pain with me. I am proud of what we do as foster carers, and I know we made a genuine difference in Trifecta's short life. He was in poor condition when we got him and wouldn't have lasted more than a few more days on the streets. At least he got another month with us, and was genuinely happy while he was here. I just wish we could have done more, I wish I had found him in the night when he was perhaps saveable.

I have visited him in his little box, where he rests until DH gets home from work to bury him. It may be morbid, but it feels right to stroke him and talk to him, and have a bit of a cry. What is left is a shell, the essence of him is gone. It makes me more comfortable with the thought of burying him because it's not really HIM. I've saved a tuft of his fur, which will go in the frame of a painting I am having made of him. He can sit on my bedside table now, close to the shoulder he always perched on.

I do treasure the thought of seeing him again at the Rainbow Bridge, along with all of the other furbabies that have played an important role in my life.

Oh Ginger, I can't help but sob for Trifecta... I didn't even realize I had tears flowing down my face while reading this post. He was such a good boy and he loved you so much... I really wish our furbabies could speak to us and tell us where it hurts... I will be thinking of you and Trifecta and praying that he is a better place. I've always wanted to believe that dogs and cats go to a heaven also.

 

[rainwood]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It can be so painful, but only because these creatures bring such great joy to our lives. Trifecta will always have a special place in your heart even if right now it feels like a hole. He was lucky to have you fostering him, and you made his life much, much better.

 

[Laila619]

Aww, I'm SO sorry.

 

[LaraOnline]

Oh! I'm so sorry.

 

[rosetta]

I'm very sorry to hear this!

 

[JewelFreak]

Making me all misty, JG. It's so tough to lose one you've put your whole heart into. As you said, you did give him more time & comfort and the knowledge of what it feels like to be loved -- he took that with him to the Bridge. Maybe, rather than a hole in your heart, he left a little fluffy warm place. You'll find it in time. Big dust for the others & hugs for such a great girl as you!

--- Laurie

 

[Puppmom]

Ginger, I'm so sorry. Fostering is such a selfless thing to do and Trifecta was lucky to be with you for his short life.

 

[chrono]

Trifecta had a bit of light in his short life and it was because of you. I am very sure wherever his spirit is, he will remember you.

 

[ame]

I can hardly think of the words to write this post.

I usually get up in the night to go to the bathroom, and check on the kittens as they are kept in the laundry at night. I did not last night. I was sick and slept all the way through.

DH got up this morning and found our runt, Trifecta, unresponsive on the floor. We scooped him up and raced to the local vet. I had him under my shirt, skin to skin, head tucked under my chin while I whispered encouragement at every breath he took. I could tell it was very, very bad.

The vet did what he could, but he passed within 30 minutes of arriving. We were told he had been leaking fluids and blood into his abdominal cavity for some time. Having taken him to another vet twice with abdominal concerns, it infuriates me. What a loss of precious life.

I took him home with me, telling him how very sorry I was. He will be buried under our frangipani tree with Doxy, our other kitten who passed after surgery 3 years ago - she is the one who made us start fostering.

There is a little kitten-parrot shaped hole in my heart.

Oh no!!! Big hugs!

 

[missy]

Oh Ginger, I am devastated for you and little Trifecta. You and your dh did all you could. I am so sorry. Sending hugs and keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I'm so sorry Trifecta didn't survive. You did all you could have done, and he knew he was loved throughout his all too short life.

 

[yennyfire]

Oh, I'm so very sorry. You and Trifecta will be in my thoughts and prayers. Many hugs to you....

 

[NOYFB]

Oh Ginger, my heart is just breaking for you! I'm so so sorry that little Trifecta had to leave you so soon. He was so lucky to have you for the short time he was here. Please take comfort in the fact that he knows how much you loved him. I have tears in my eyes because this hits way too close to home for me. Take care, sweetie.

 

[tyty333]

I am so sorry Ginger. If words could only heal the heart...

 

[JuneRose]

Oh I'm so so sorry JustGinger... Just remember, you did everything you could for Trifecta and I'm sure he had the most wonderful time with you in his short life.

 

[tammy77]

Oh no!!! I'm so, so sorry to hear this.

 

[maccers]

I'm so sorry JG. This breaks my heart. It's not your fault whatsoever. Trifecta was given a ton of love by you which he wouldn't have experienced otherwise.

 

[Kaleigh]

I am so sorry Ginger. Big big hugs.

 

[Cluless]

Ginger so sorry, my heart aches for you, Trifecta was a lucky boy being loved and cared for by you xo

 

[justginger]

I don't think I've ever requested PS dust and prayer before, but please keep our little Filly (the black stink eyed monster) in your hearts. I've been syringe feeding her all evening and night, checking on her hourly. Around 1:15, I found her laying in diarrhea, becoming less responsive. Another emergency vet visit. The vet has done a faec screen and saw motile bugs of some sort, but they were too fast to ID. She has been given subcutaneous fluids, been put on a heating pad, fed some supplements, and is spending what is left of the night in the hospital. We were there from 130 to 430.

The vet is afraid it may be underlying parvovirus, which is untreatable. They either get better or die. Alternatively, it could be fading kitten syndrome, which is the same. Her red blood cell count is less than half what it should be, at 22%. Trifecta's was 18% when he passed this morning.

So she is alive, and comfortable, and calm, but really needs PS dust. I am desperate for a real illness to be determined so I can ensure the others do not slip down this same path. In the meantime, I have exact guidelines to follow regarding their food, liquids, warmth, supplements, and medications. Praying these guys pull through.

 

[iheartscience]

So much dust to you and all of your kittens, especially little Filly. I'm pulling for you all.

 

[Tuckins1]

Oh, so sorry to hear this sad news!

(((HUGS)))

 

[Cluless]

Dust, Prayers and Positive thoughts coming your way hon with lots of hugs xo

 

[Alistra]

Justginger, I have tried several times to type something out, but I keep getting really choked up and have to stop. I am so sorry for the loss of Trifecta. I hope Filly is ok. We lost a kitten, Mary Russell, to parvo about 10 years ago. I still cry every time I think of her. If it is parvo, there is still some hope. Although our kitty died, we found out that the rest of her litter made it (we had just adopted her a few days before from a rescue organization). Much dust and good wishes coming your way...

 

[missy]

I am sending bucketloads of dust to you and your kitties-especially Filly and praying she pulls through. I am keeping you and all the kitties in my heart and thoughts and prayers Ginger. Hugs across the miles to all of you.

 

[rainwood]

I'm sending a ton of dust across the oceans to you. Our hearts go as well.

 

[susimoo]

Ginger

I am so sorry to hear about your wee one.

You did an amazing thing with all of them, but especially so with the little one, Trifecta.

I am sending you dust by the bucket load. I hope that the new day brings you better news and Filly gets better.

Hugs, sweetie!!

 

[kefira]

Sending healing vibes to little Filly, her litter-mates, and you. You are so strong to take this on! I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts.

 

[lulu]

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I used to take fragile kittens home to nurse them and this exact thing happened more than once. You did everything you could.