Covenant vs. Traditional Marriage

[ArtistJess]

Any other Louisiana residents trying to decide between a ''covenant'' and a ''traditional'' marriage? I just happened upon this explanation article while researching marriage license information:

Linky

I''m not sure which one we''ll go for yet.

 

[HopeDream]

Hi,

I''m not a Louisiana resident, but the option just floored me.

Wow! Covenant marriage is like going back in time 75 years!

(no thanks)

 

[HollyS]

While I believe in marriage, and in the covenant of marriage as defined by the Anglican and Catholic churches, and I would never enter a marriage that I thought had any possibility of failing . . . I do not believe in allowing the state to determine whether or not I remain legally bound to someone.

Never toss aside any civil rights you''ve been granted. Whether you remain married or not is not for anyone else to determine -- not the state, not the feds, not your church, not your family.

 

[lilyfoot]

I''ve never heard of this before!

Artist, is one the "default", or do you have to choose when when you get your license?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

The state has no business telling me when/if I''m allowed to divorce my husband.

 

[trillionaire]

I think if anything, they should make more requirements for getting married, not divorced. People get married so quickly and casually... but you can''t legislate backwards. Making divorce more difficult isn''t necessarily going to deter people from making bad decisions about getting married.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/8/2010 3:12:57 PM
Author: trillionaire
I think if anything, they should make more requirements for getting married, not divorced. People get married so quickly and casually... but you can''t legislate backwards. Making divorce more difficult isn''t necessarily going to deter people from making bad decisions about getting married.

This was definitely my thought process also when I read the article.

 

[princesss]

Date: 3/8/2010 2:46:56 PM
Author: HollyS
While I believe in marriage, and in the covenant of marriage as defined by the Anglican and Catholic churches, and I would never enter a marriage that I thought had any possibility of failing . . . I do not believe in allowing the state to determine whether or not I remain legally bound to someone.


Never toss aside any civil rights you''ve been granted. Whether you remain married or not is not for anyone else to determine -- not the state, not the feds, not your church, not your family.

100% agreed.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 3/8/2010 2:46:56 PM
Author: HollyS
While I believe in marriage, and in the covenant of marriage as defined by the Anglican and Catholic churches, and I would never enter a marriage that I thought had any possibility of failing . . . I do not believe in allowing the state to determine whether or not I remain legally bound to someone.

Never toss aside any civil rights you''ve been granted. Whether you remain married or not is not for anyone else to determine -- not the state, not the feds, not your church, not your family.

Extremely well said and very good advice to follow.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I''ve never heard of this before either - but I would never willingly enter into an agreement like that!

 

[ArtistJess]

Yeah, I definitely didn''t do enough research before posting this. I had heard about it as an option, and thought I would ask here to see if anyone had heard of it.

I absolutely will not be giving up any hard-earned rights. In my opinion, there is a clear-cut front runner here, at least for my marriage.

 

[ArtistJess]

Lily, I''m pretty sure the ''traditional'' is the default.

 

[yssie]

Big ditto to trill and Holly!

 

[princessplease]

Wow. That really is all I had to say when reading. Wow!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/8/2010 2:46:56 PM
Author: HollyS
While I believe in marriage, and in the covenant of marriage as defined by the Anglican and Catholic churches, and I would never enter a marriage that I thought had any possibility of failing . . . I do not believe in allowing the state to determine whether or not I remain legally bound to someone.

Never toss aside any civil rights you''ve been granted. Whether you remain married or not is not for anyone else to determine -- not the state, not the feds, not your church, not your family.

DITTO.

 

[ArtistJess]

Date: 3/9/2010 7:48:46 AM
Author: princessplease
Wow. That really is all I had to say when reading. Wow!

Yeah, I have to admit I feel a little silly after posting this. The crazy thing is that more and more people are turning towards the covenant marriage here. I can''t figure out whether that''s a good or bad thing. I guess the idea of not needing divorce rights is alluring to some.

 

[ksinger]

Oh heck, they''ve been trying hard for a long time to get that passed in Oklahoma. It rears its head every now and then. (I''m pretty sure it got shot down again, somewhat recently. But our paternalistic legislators always have something better in mind, like very recently trying to pass a law that would force women seeking a legal (hard to remember that they really ARE still legal these days) abortion to have a nice invasive intravaginal wand ultrasound first, and then if they get past THAT, publish enough personal information on them on the web, so any crazy can find physically FIND them. Is this a great state or what??)

"Mike Jestes, executive director of the Oklahoma Family Policy Council, said "Covenant marriage in Oklahoma will be a choice to strengthen commitment between couples, and give you a chance to say, prior to marriage, ''Let''s get some solid counseling, and if for any reason during this marriage we decide we have some problems, let''s don''t get out of it without really counseling.'' "

Like all the others here, I completely fail to see how giving up the hard-won right to get away from a crappy marriage, "strengthens commitment". Several things strengthen commitment, but none of them are punitive or require me to give up my rights, and none of them came from the outside IN. No, it just makes it harder for idealistic nitwits to get out of a mistake, if mistake it is.

I know around here, as I can recall, the only "benefit" you would have received from the state for graciously giving up your rights, was not having to pay the fee for the marriage license. Now THAT would be one way to screen if someone should marry or not: if you''re so strapped that you can''t pay for that, your finances - and likely, YOU - are clearly not ready for marriage yet, yes?

 

[annadragon]

I saw that when DH and I were trying to get down the legalities of our weddings. However, it was easier to get married in Arkansas where we did than in Louisiana. In Ark, we walked into the Courthouse, presented our DL''s, paid some money and got a marriage lisc. In La, you have to present certified copies of birth certificates, there is a waiting period, I think they make you do the hokey pokey and turn yourself about too

To echo Hudson_Hawk and take it a step further I think the State shouldn''t be in the business of marriage period and certainly not divorce. There was an article in the Gambit with Bobby Jindal talking about the Covenant Marriage option a couple years ago. There is some idiotic idea that this type of marriage would prevent divorce

In fact Ark, where we got married I think has this option too.

 

[ArtistJess]

anna- we are having trouble getting our license. apparently there are two kinds of birth certificates, one that you get in the hospital when you''re born, and another "official" birth certificate. in la you have to have the official one, and my df only has the hospital one. also, he was born in oklahoma, so we are having to send off for one and go through a waiting period.

i kind of wish they would have just asked us to do the hokey pokey instead. it probably would have been less trouble.

 

[annadragon]

Jess, just in case I think this is the website for obtaining a LA birth certificate
Vital Records

I hope your getting hitched has no more hitches