Couples with chronic illness: how do you deal?

[Ara Ann]

She''s had the fungal problem for about 3 years I''d say and treating it naturally for about a year and a half now. She takes natural anti fungal supplements (orally) and changes those out about every 10 days...I know she uses oregano oil, grapefruit seed extract and a few others, can''t remember what they are, but I think there are 4 or so she uses in cycles...it may list some of the anti-fungal supplements to take on that site. And I am sure it also talks about pro-biotics as well, those are super important. Fungal problems start in the ''gut'' - so if you can treat the gut and get it healthy, it will help the outer symptoms a lot!

 

[TooPatient]

I''m looking into some of the stuff they suggested. Still so much to see on the website.

Is your sister still seeing a doctor? Does the doctor beleive in fungal infections?


Our guy is a rhumatologist (sp) and is skeptical about fungal anything. Since the medication is clearly doing something, he keeps prescribing it..... for now.

Been to internal medicine DRs, dermatologists, travel dr. (supposedly one of the best drs to see if you have anything out of the ordinary), general practice drs., and more.

 

[Ara Ann]

Nope, she doesn''t see a Dr. for this anymore. She told the one Dr. what she learned about fungus/yeast and what had helped her, but he poo-pooed it, as most do. She does she a nutrition based chiropractor though...and researches a lot herself....seems to be what is working for her.

 

[TooPatient]

I wish that doctors learned about this. I''m sure it is pretty common. People just don''t know about it.

Just got an e-mail from B. He is feeling "profoundly unwell" and needs to get home.


Anyone with chronic illness --

The people caring for you want to help and do all they can for you. Being specific about what is wrong or how you are feeling helps.
I never quite know what to do with a description like "profoundly unwell". Do I wrap up with the client or run out now? Call the doctor?
It causes much more stress than having more detail. I get to let my mind think of just how sick he might be and what could be going on.


Anyway, got to call B and see what is happening.

 

[Ara Ann]

Hope he''s feeling better soon.


Also, another tid bit...do you have any mold in your home? Any water leaks, etc.? Could there be mold in his office? Mold exposure can really aggravate symptoms as well. You mentioned you are re-modeling your kitchen, he could be having a reaction to environmental triggers as well. Even household plants can harbor mold in the soil. Do some sleuthing and see what you can come up with.

 

[Novel]

Hope he is feeling better, too. I can understand the frustration with vagueness, but I also understand where it comes from. For me, sometimes I just don''t feel right, even if its really, really not right. I can''t describe it always, though, and when I can "dizzy" and "in pain" aren''t really going to help. What I''ve found is that if I can tell bf how urgent it is, i.e. "I think I''m going to pass out", "I''m worried I''ll faint on the subway", or "I think I need to call the doctor, now" then he knows if he needs to come home or if I need him to meet me where I am, or if its ok for him to continue his day. Its that part of the explanation that is most helpful, how urgent it is for him. Sometimes thats hard to know, too.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 10/1/2009 9:45:44 AM
Author: Novel
Hope he is feeling better, too. I can understand the frustration with vagueness, but I also understand where it comes from. For me, sometimes I just don''t feel right, even if its really, really not right. I can''t describe it always, though, and when I can ''dizzy'' and ''in pain'' aren''t really going to help. What I''ve found is that if I can tell bf how urgent it is, i.e. ''I think I''m going to pass out'', ''I''m worried I''ll faint on the subway'', or ''I think I need to call the doctor, now'' then he knows if he needs to come home or if I need him to meet me where I am, or if its ok for him to continue his day. Its that part of the explanation that is most helpful, how urgent it is for him. Sometimes thats hard to know, too.

That sounds like useful information to share. That must help your bf be a little less stressed too. Makes it a little more clear when stuff is really bad or not instead of having to assume the worst.

 

[Novel]

It took me a long time to realize that when he said "how do you feel?" and "but what feels wrong?" he both wanted to know and was trying to gauge how bad things were. It helps when he is stressed and also helps me feel like I don''t need to explain or come up with reasons, just help him understand how bad it is. I suppose if we were really organized we''d come up with a number scale (1 - 10, with 4 being coming home from work, 6 being doctor tomorrow (if I thought that would help...) and 8 being hospital) but we''re just not that good! And the doctors don''t help, anyway.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 10/1/2009 12:36:26 PM
Author: Novel
It took me a long time to realize that when he said ''how do you feel?'' and ''but what feels wrong?'' he both wanted to know and was trying to gauge how bad things were. It helps when he is stressed and also helps me feel like I don''t need to explain or come up with reasons, just help him understand how bad it is. I suppose if we were really organized we''d come up with a number scale (1 - 10, with 4 being coming home from work, 6 being doctor tomorrow (if I thought that would help...) and 8 being hospital) but we''re just not that good! And the doctors don''t help, anyway.

I think what you do sounds great. The problem with a number scale is how stuff changes over time. You may still stay at work after a year or two or ten of dealing with an illness when it used to send you home.

When B is very sick I try to get him to talk a little. Listening to how he speaks is a pretty good indication of how bad he is feeling and how serious it is. So a few sentences, even simple ones like "I need to go home NOW" or "Please come get me" are good.

 

[Novel]

That sounds right to me. For me, the talking is a big indicator, because apparently the worse I feel, the higher my voice gets and the slower my talking gets. And I try to tell him, so if we''re out and I need to go home, I''ll usually just say that I need to go home.

Good luck...