Cost of e-ring inversely related to success of marriage?

[TC1987]

Now Cosmo has picked up the story: https://www.yahoo.com/style/expensive-engagement-rings-lead-to-divorce-99578482012.html

I still say they are drawing erroneous conclusions. Other studies ages ago found that couples who essentially grew up together in the same town and married relatively young had the most lasting marriages. And that couples who grew up in different geographical areas and different cultures, married later, and/or had children from previous marriages or relationships are much more likely to divorce. To me, it's not the cost of the ring. It's the fact that older and more established persons buy bigger and more expensive rings as a rule. And being "set in your ways" (I HATE that cliche, hahahaha!) and/or liking yourself and your lifestyle as-is makes it harder or possibly even less rewarding for a person to change enough to make a marriage succeed. There are such things as amicable divorces, where both partners agree that they don't want to be married to each other anymore.

And I'll be the first to say that receiving a fantastic diamond e-ring from a guy who treats me poorly would never be compensation enough to remain in a bad or toxic relationship.

 

[iLander]

If there's any validity to this I think it has nothing to do with ering budget itself.

IMO and experience, the more money people have the less happy they are.

Happier people = happier marriage.

Then you must be freakin' miserable, Kenny!

 

[Circe]

Okay, I've been seeing mention of this frikkin' everywhere, and I finally got curious enough to just look up the paper to see for myself, as a lot of the things you guys are wondering about here seemed feasible, yet nobody was addressing any of the details in the popular press articles. So, okay:

A) I honestly wondered if it was an undergrad paper as I was reading it, due to the typos. It is not: first author is an assistant prof with two papers under his belt (this being the second), second author is an associate professor with 30 publications under his belt. So ... reputable (if in need of proofing - sorry, it's the editor in me, I just. cannot. turn. it. off).

B) They're working with a sample size of three thousand people, and almost all of their findings supported the idea that the risk of divorce went down as the price of the ring went up. There's a discrepancy that pushes the numbers up on men who spent between 2k and 4k from 1 to 1.3. That ... sounds kind of like a statistical anomaly to me. In a sample size of three thousand, it seems insignificant.

c) So given that, fascinating how in this economy, every popular publication has felt the need to emphasize the aspects that make virtue out of necessity! Admittedly, I'm way more interested in the sociological side of things than the numbers side, but I just find it intriguing how all of this is being spun in the articles as another way to shore up the gold-digger/Bridezilla imagery, making a little morality play out of the idea that blessed are the penurious.

Link to the full article, for those as are interested .... http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/cf_dev/AbsByAuth.cfm?per_id=389408

 

[Polished]

One of the study's goals seems to be; is to pursuade people out of the "promoting and commodifying of love and romance". In the case of the engagement ring it's the advertising link between "a diamond is forever" sales pitch with people then believing their marriage will last forever, they wish to dispel. But do people actually buy into this link, their "forever diamond" holds that amount of power. Clearly not if they're bailing on their marriages in droves once the engagement ring hits $2 to $4 grand. Don't worry authors. It's not so much the $2 grand engagement ring she modestly settled on, out of a joint respect for their future; it's more the top of the range Range Rover he promptly bought for himself soon afterwards that caused her to revise her decision and leave.

There's been some useful books and articles on consumerism but they're not free from the values and tastes of whoever is writing them. I remember one telling me (and yes they tell you!) to spend on an experience over a lounge suite. that would make me triste as I've enjoyed reading, conversing, watching good TV (the TV would have to be traded for a bungee jump), cuddles etc on our comfortable lounge.

 

[TC1987]

... Clearly not if they're bailing on their marriages in droves once the engagement ring hits $2 to $4 grand. Don't worry authors. It's not so much the $2 grand engagement ring she modestly settled on, out of a joint respect for their future; it's more the top of the range Range Rover he promptly bought for himself soon afterwards that caused her to revise her decision and leave.

...

^ LMAO! So true! There are a lot of men out there who resent having to spend money on an e-ring for her. And they act like it's a SIN for a woman to ever want something nice for herself.

 

[SB621]

1990 my ring was $1400 with a .33ct center and some side stones. I loved it then and if it had been hardier would still have it now. It was all he could afford and we found it together. He is still terrible at picking jewelry so I am envious of all the ladies who have SO's that take the time to find the right piece. But this does not mean I love him any less. He just has no sparkly gene but makes up for that with how much he loves me. My upgrade for our 25th (which is not until 2016 but I got it early) is something he wanted to do for me but he had a panic attack about doing it himself. I was more than happy to help him out...

REd your post made my Smile My husband is the kindest, warmest, considerate, etc person I know. His MAJOR flaw is he has terrible...i mean truly AWFUL taste in jewelry. I cringe....oh my g-d just the thought- of him picking out something for me.

 

[GliderPoss]

He proposed without one so guess we'll be together FOREVER!!!!!!!!

 

[partgypsy]

Well I guess the first time we did it we almost did it right (modest ring, short but nice honeymoon) but as we eloped definitely didn't have a large wedding!
I think the more or less expensive ring, really so much depends on the finances or age of the couple, which probably has more of an effect than the price of a single ring.

Though I can imagine, if the guy is well off, and doesn't want to spend more than a couple hundred dollars while he himself is buying himself expensive stuff, that does not bode well. I have a friend who married her college sweetheart. She was a grad student, he after school got a lucrative job. Once while in grad school we were shopping in a thrift store, and she mulled and eventually didn't get a 5 dollar sweater she liked, because she felt that (so and so) would feel that was too money. Her wedding set was very modest (naturally because they married relatively young). She wistfully wished for a nicer ring after their finances improved, but knew so and so wouldn't go for it (he continued to buy himself expensive cars and top of the line electronics). He ended up being a massive jerk to her. None of us were surprised by his behavior (he could do no wrong) except for her.