can the canapes? just get past passing them?

[Independent Gal]

Here''s another question for all you wedding and event ATTENDERS (instead of us current wedding PLANNERS over on BWW!)

If you arrive for a cocktail reception, which will shortly be followed by a large meal, are you bummed if there are no canapes being handed around? The ones our chef makes sound delumptious but they run the equivalent of about $3 each. I figure, 4 per person x $3 x 80 people = a chunk of change = could have invited another few friends....

What do you think? Can the canapes? Or are they your favourite part of the evening (ok, I confess, I LOVE CANAPES myself

)

 

[jcrow]

i actually don''t think i''ve ever eaten them. i usually do just the main food.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

It''s sometimes nice to have something to munch on while you drink. However I''m the type who will gorge myself on the canapes and then be full for dinner. I think a crue de te, cheese/cracker, antipasto platter and a fruit platter type stations are plenty for people. If you''re having longer than an hour between the ceremony and reception, you might want to consider passed canapes.

 

[Stone Hunter]

As long as I''m not stuck at the reception while you spend hours before getting there taking photos I can make it till dinner just fine! If I expect to eat hours before it''ll happen I ''d appreciate the snacks. I guess it will just depend on how you expect your timeline to go.

HTH

 

[dtnyc]

I actually only had passed canapes (hubby LOVES pigs in a blanket- so it wasn''t all fancy stuff) because our cocktail hour was on an open air but covered portico type area and stations of food outside equals bugs.

Also I kind of find buffets of food grody- they get destroyed and appear so unsanitary so quickly.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/14/2007 4:29:40 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
It''s sometimes nice to have something to munch on while you drink. However I''m the type who will gorge myself on the canapes and then be full for dinner. I think a crue de te, cheese/cracker, antipasto platter and a fruit platter type stations are plenty for people. If you''re having longer than an hour between the ceremony and reception, you might want to consider passed canapes.

exactly.my.problem.

 

[Independent Gal]

Ah! there''s a good rationalization for me! I''m not ''saving a thousand dollars''! I''m ''saving my guests from themselves''! It''s a good deed!

OK Ok.

 

[asscherisme]

LOL, I think your justification is funny. If you are on the fence, I would skip it, but only if you are not keeping your guests waiting a long time.

I think it may be a gender thing too. My husband would be dissapointed if there was none, I would not care.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Independent Gal, for your tally, I LOVE the passed hors d''oeuvres. They''re actually what I remember most about food from weddings! I''ve found if you make a good impact there, you can just slide on the other food items. I still hear people talk about the sushi chefs at the sushi bar in the cocktail room at a friend''s wedding (in 2002!) and "the shrimp the size of your fist!" from relatives who attended my parents wedding decades ago.

It''s so sad-- my college roommate had an amazing wedding that had a $300/head catering cost, and all I remember was that they had the best stuffed mushroom amuse bouche I''ve had in my life!

Can you cut back in some other area? I''d rather have fewer seated courses if it means there will be divine cocktail nibblies...

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I agree with asscher, it seems to be a gender thing. It could also be an old-school etiquette thing like serving tea in the afternoon and wearing a particular kind of suit/tux depending on the time of day. I think if you have something, stationed or passed, it will be fine.

 

[risingsun]

I do think it depends on the length of time between the ceremony and reception. We had a late morning ceremony with a multi-course, formal luncheon at around 12:00 or 12: 30. Not much time between the two. The guests were served fruit, cheese, crudite' and wine before the luncheon...it all seemed to go quite well. Of course, the time of day may have had something to do with it

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 8/14/2007 5:23:06 PM
Author: fleur-de-lis
Independent Gal, for your tally, I LOVE the passed hors d'oeuvres. They're actually what I remember most about food from weddings! I've found if you make a good impact there, you can just slide on the other food items. I still hear people talk about the sushi chefs at the sushi bar in the cocktail room at a friend's wedding (in 2002!) and 'the shrimp the size of your fist!' from relatives who attended my parents wedding decades ago.

It's so sad-- my college roommate had an amazing wedding that had a $300/head catering cost, and all I remember was that they had the best stuffed mushroom amuse bouche I've had in my life!

Totally the same for me. And honestly, I never would have thought this was true..... except we've been to almost 20 weddings in the past few years, and while the ceremonies/receptions all run together by now, I still remember exactly which had the best cocktail hours!! Maybe because I'm always starving by that time? One of them had EVERYTHING... carving stations, a caviar table, martini ice luge, full raw bar.... mmmmm. I could probably tell you the color of the carpet in that room, it is so engraved in my memory.

We were at a wedding recently that cut back on the cocktail hour food and I heard some grumbling from guests (many had been to previous weddings at the same venue, so were expecting the same spread). But it probably depends a LOT on what your guests are used to/expect... all our friends have been on the wedding circuit for a few years now, so they're getting a bit demanding.

 

[Pandora II]

I''ve been to a few that just had bowls of nuts and crisps (I think you call them chips?) on the tables.

I only like canapes if they are good - nothing worse than overly oily bits of something in filo pastry IMHO.

When I think back, I never really judge peoples weddings at all unless they are really awful. I tend to notice things like if the speeches are terrible and the brides dress.

For food, I just reckon people are on a budget and don''t anticipate michelin starred cuisine.

 

[asscherisme]

The thing I most remember being tacky about a wedding was one where the coctail hour snacks were in large coscto type containers- pretzels, m &ms,that type of thing. And there was a cash bar. I was pregnant so I got a sprite and I had to pay even for a soda!

Cash bar = tacky

 

[Cind11]

I just went to a wedding over the weekend. The wedding was at 6:00 and the reception was immediately following. I was hungry and so appreciated having them. I can''t remember all of them, but there were pot stickers, blue cheese stuffed cherry tomatoes, shrimp and melon wrapped in proscuitto. I could get by without having canapes, but I think they add a nice touch, especially to an evening wedding reception.

 

[strmrdr]

I would much rather have a fruit and veggie platter to get something too nibble on from.
lots of baby carrots and melon balls would make me happy :}

 

[zoebartlett]

I''ve been to several weddings where there were passed h''ors doeurves, and I''ve also been to other weddings where there was just crudite, fruit, and cheese. I think the weather and location has a lot to do with what''s served. For outdoor cocktail hours on hot, humid days, it was nice to have just a little something to munch on before our meal. For indoor cocktail hours where it might be air conditioned, I love when I see hot h''ors doeurves being passed. I don''t know if that makes sense but that''s what I''ve noticed. People seem to eat less if they''re hot.

 

[basil]

Oh, I love canapes or hors d''oeurves or whatever you want to call them! I think I would be disappointed if there were none whatsoever. I''ve always loved cocktail parties more than dinner parties - you can mingle more and have a bigger variety of tastes and pick and choose what you want. For me, I''d put more into the hors d''oeurves and less into the main meal courses. Could you cut out an appetizer course or a salad course instead?

 

[FireGoddess]

I wuvvvvvvvvvv them, personally.

I wouldn't look down on a wedding that didn't have 'em though. But I look very kindly on the ones that do. LOL.

 

[Kaleigh]

I love them too. It''s something I always look forward to at weddings. I think you have to offer something during the cocktail reception, doesn''t have to be over the top. It sets the mood for the rest of the evening, IMHO. Or scale back somehow on the dinner?? Hard I know, good luck!!!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 8/14/2007 5:01:48 PM
Author: jcrow

Date: 8/14/2007 4:29:40 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
It''s sometimes nice to have something to munch on while you drink. However I''m the type who will gorge myself on the canapes and then be full for dinner. I think a crue de te, cheese/cracker, antipasto platter and a fruit platter type stations are plenty for people. If you''re having longer than an hour between the ceremony and reception, you might want to consider passed canapes.

exactly.my.problem.

Wellllll, I don''t MIND them at all, and I''m with HH and JC, I will end up with a drink in one hand and 5 canapes in the other, lol! So, in my figure''s best interests, PLEASE lay off the canapes! ROFLMAO!

Isn''t cake enough to do in a wedding guest''s diet?

Seriously, though...I think people expect that "something" edible will pass their way during cocktail hour, or at least mixed nuts, etc. will be available at the bar. Personally, I''d rather the extras like canapes, nuts, whatever weren''t there to tempt me, but DH is a big guy, and most guys we know are also always wondering where the nearest feedbag is...so, I think I would try to offer some sort of munchie option.

 

[partgypsy]

normally I''m all for budget but I also LOVE "horsedevorses."

Seriously I usually enjoy those more than the meal.
Also to me it doesn''t seem quite right to serve alchoholic drinks and not have something to munch on ala meze.

 

[Independent Gal]

We've decided: we can't can the canapes. They are just too damn delicious. I mean, truffled cod brandade on crostini? I'm drooling here people!!!

 

[Gypsy]

I love the canapes. But in my wedding research found the best compromise to be a nice fruit and cheese display during cocktails. It gives people something to munch on, saves you the service costs of passed canapes, has broad appeal, and looks elegant.

It can be refreshed and re-introduced with dessert too, if you want.

ETA: A wedding planning mistake, IMO, is to add extra costs with respect to food because the 'over the top' items appeal to YOU as the bride or groom. You won't get any, or if you do, you won't notice. Or you can just get some for yourself-- many venue will do special canapes for the bride and groom to enjoy since the B&G don't attend the cocktail hour normally. Don't spend money you really don't need to because of a craving you have. JMO, sorry if it offends.

 

[Nicrez]

Date: 8/24/2007 4:49:41 PM
Author: Gypsy
I love the canapes. But in my wedding research found the best compromise to be a nice fruit and cheese display during cocktails. It gives people something to munch on, saves you the service costs of passed canapes, has broad appeal, and looks elegant.

It can be refreshed and re-introduced with dessert too, if you want.

ETA: A wedding planning mistake, IMO, is to add extra costs with respect to food because the ''over the top'' items appeal to YOU as the bride or groom. You won''t get any, or if you do, you won''t notice. Or you can just get some for yourself-- many venue will do special canapes for the bride and groom to enjoy since the B&G don''t attend the cocktail hour normally. Don''t spend money you really don''t need to because of a craving you have. JMO, sorry if it offends.

Oops, Gypsie, I disagree on this one...

Having been to too many weddings, cocktail hours are the best parts of many weddings I have gone to. I like how they are best for mingling BEFORE you get to your table and buckle down. As such, people generally drink a bit and the hearty canapes can help with reducing the drunkness before it''s time (when they have to dance)...also, they set the tone for the wedding. I guess because I am not an "eater", I would rather the canapes instead of the dinner sometimes!

About 5 years ago I was at a wedding where only cocktails were served with canapes all night. It was from appetizer from Brie on Jamaican starfruit bases to dinner variety canapes, like mini Kobe strips on some Japanese cracker to passed mini-desserts like melon gelato on a desert crust shell with creme fraiche and roasted almond crust to chocolate covered mini icecream cones! It was the best food served and so excellently done! Some people danced in the grand room, and others who would rather talk went into the cocktail salon, just gathering for the main parts. Bride and groom mingled and ate because they had taken all the pictures BEFORE the wedding during the day. Also their cake was not a traditional wedding cake. They simply had individual desserts of a larger sized petit fours in white fondant which people where asked to raise in salute to the couple after the photographed them feeding each other.


That said, the wedding WAS the cocktail and canapes... which I rather enjoyed! It was refreshing to go to a wedding that felt like a great cocktail party with a wedding before hand, instead of the usual meet, greet, eat and chicken dance.

And I do think the bride & groom should be encouraged to do as they like. It adds flavor to the wedding and shows their personality. To me spending on a wedding is kind of a waste to begin with, but I would rather have the food and drink be better than waste money on favors or expensive monogrammed "stuff" that doesn''t add to the experience of a good night. But that''s because when I go out dining I like the food, the feel and the atmosphere, that weddings to me should evoke a feeling, and ambiance. Canapes would do it for me.

YAY "Horsedevorses"!!! (Part Gypsy, you had me rolling on the floor with that one!)

 

[Independent Gal]

Hey Nicrez: "It was refreshing to go to a wedding that felt like a great cocktail party with a wedding before hand,"

That is EXACTLY what we're hoping for! That's the reason we went with a slick, modern restaurant where the 'jet set' in my hometown (to the extent there is one!) go to lounge and drink cocktails and the foodies go to enjoy the truffled cod brandade. I really hope we manage to pull it off.

"I would rather have the food and drink be better than waste money on favors or expensive monogrammed "stuff" that doesn't add to the experience of a good night."

Agreed. We're spending exactly ZIP on monogramed stuff, and about 70% of our budget on serving our guests some of the best food in town in one of the funkiest spaces in town for this very reason.

Now if we can just get the music right (I'm trying to coax a DJ to do it who's all ambient jazz/mambo/funky... but she doesn't really do weddings! Exactly! That's what we want! Someone who doesn't do weddings for our wedding!)... and the layout of the tables. But luckily this restaurant does weddings semi-regularly so the event coordinator should be able to handle it for us!

 

[Gypsy]

I''ve been to all horsedourves (LOL) weddings too, and loved it.

My post was in response to what seemed to be a concern (incorrect, I assume) regarding high the cost of canapes, and the desire to avoid that cost, while still providing munchies for a quick cocktail hour before a big deal.

As for my ETA: From personal experience... (I''ve been "day of" coordinator a few times for friends and family) the B &G just don''t enjoy the premium chocolate fountain/caviar bar/steamed lobster station they splurged on... and when on a budget, and in retrospect, would have preferred to have spent the money on something else... like a better photographer or more photography hours, or a photographer''s assistant, or videographer.

That was where I was coming from.

Indy your wedding sounds like a blast!

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, we may have to can the canapes after all (WAAAAH no truffled cod brandade) because as I mentioned over on BWW, I just got stuck with a $12,000 (yes! TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!) special assessment on my condo. There goes half our wedding budget!

But we''ll manage somehow. And it''s times like this I''m so FRAKKING glad I''m a saver, hurray for my emergency fund! Won''t cover all of it, but it''s a start.

And if I can live with cutting back to a plain gold band from my planned platinum and 7 diamond band, I can live with canning the canapes.