But where do we post our problems??

[blue_chica]

DG - I strongly agree with GG. She has told you what she wants, and you don''t really have a choice other than to respect it, anything you do other than respect it will most likely just push her away further. I feel for you so much though, since I know how hard it can be to sit back and let things take their course. You need to take care of yourself right now. I wouldn''t recommend sending anything other than the final email, and if she were to contact you wanting to start a relationship again, I would think very carefully before doing so. She has not been honest, forthcoming, or consistent with you, and that should change before you give her your heart again. You are way too young, kind, loving and selfless to give up on love. There are many other options out there for you, just give them time and don''t hold your heart closed for someone who''s unavailable.

*HUGS*

 

[i_like_tiffany_please_dont_hate_me]

hi, update-

that toothache I had? turns out it is an abscess, so my face is very swollen. and dentist is going to do a root canal on friday

but great news, my gf is back

I sent her a message about my abscess, and she responded immediately, and everything is right again. thank you for the advice ladies but I am glad that I didn''t send "one last email" because I think that she would have thought I had moved on

she loves me, and I think that in her own misguided way, she thought that ending it would be good for me

I know you are all worried, but you need not be, everything will turn out ok, she has been badly let down in the past and has ''issues'' and I am not going to demand that the relationship is on my terms. she is just so precious, I love her and she needs me, I am not going to do anything to push her away. I am certainly not going to give her any ultimatums.

thank you all for being so nice and concerned about me - it really meant a lot to me. but there really is no need to worry, I can understand the way you are looking at it, but I do not doubt for a second that she loves me or that she wants to be with me. it is difficult to explain, but I won''t ever let her down.

thank you for your kind words and your prayers, I am just so glad everything worked out

dg

 

[Erin]

You are such a sweet guy with so much love to give - you are in my thoughts.

 

[icekid]

dg-

i was literally just going to post checking to see how you''re doing! well, i''m definitely glad you''re feeling happier again... but do please be careful. this is starting to become a pattern and that''s not what you want for your sanity. good luck!

p.s. are you still planning to visit her in march??

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Hi all,

Any of you eat instead of not eat when you are stressed?? LOL! I''ve been in the candy again! YUCK! My husband''s deployment starts on Sunday night. One whole year (less a day -- like that somehow makes it easier)

I am trying so hard to be strong and put up a brave front for everyone around me...especially my DH but it feels like I am crumbling like a cracker inside. I''ve always believed myself to be a strong and independent woman...but gosh, right now my little heart feels like it is going to burst out of my chest and he hasn''t even left yet...what will I do when he leaves on Sunday? What do I say to all those who don''t understand..how do I keep from crying myself to sleep and worrying....

I must stay strong..but it is a little difficult right this minute...

Thanks for letting me share...

 

[icekid]

FTLOD- i cannot even imagine how you are feeling!! i am sure i would be a complete wreck... is he going to iraq??

... i don''t know what to say other than my thoughts are with you, and i hope this year flies by until you your hubby is back safe and at home with you

 

[AndyRosse]

Gosh, and I feel alone when my fiance leaves for a week!!

But just remember, you have everyone here to lean on

And I will definitely keep him in my prayers...

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Thanks Icekid and Stretch, your support and prayers mean so much!

 

[Blue824]

FTLOD -- I really don''t know what to say, except that I wish I could give you a big hug! I hope that you have some support around you, and I''m sure you realize how amazing your husband is for going off to protect our country and how amazing you are in supporting him. You both will be in my thoughts & prayers.

 

[jenwill]

FTLOD-

He (and you) will definitely be in my thoughts. I dated a Navy man for awhile- he had to do a 6 month sea tour, but it was in peace time. It was hard enough then- I will send you as much positive energy as I can, and know that everyone supports the two of you.

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Blue and Jenwill:

Thank you so much for the positive energy, hugs, thoughts, and prayers. I do have a support system back home. I have moved home for the year to make it a little easier on both him and I. I want to thank you all for the good vibes... It will be a long year but I am thankful for LIW like you to help see me through!! Your men sure are lucky to have you in their lives.

Brightest Blessings

 

[goldengirl]

FTLOD--I am so glad you will have a support system available to you. I hope this year flies by and you have him back at your side soon.

DG... I just don''t know what to say. You''re in my prayers.

 

[appletini]

FTLOD: I hope this year goes by very fast for you! I know you miss him like crazy.

DG: I know you care for her, but do be careful, b/c she has already broken your heart twice. I wish you the best.

 

[Erin]

FTLD - my bf is leaving this Sunday and won''t be back for 9 or 10 days. I can''t relate to your situation in the same way because mine will be back in no time - but I know what you mean about being sad before they''re even gone. Plan something specific for both of you to share for each night before he leaves. That way instead of dreading the day - you have something positive to look forward to each night when you lay in bed.

I''m sure there will be times when you miss him terribly. Just remember that it is him with his strong character that was chosen for this position in life and because of his actions and choices the nation is in his gratitude for things we won''t even know.

We will be here for you at your hardest times.

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

GG, Apple, and Erin:

Thanks for the kind words, they do mean a lot!

 

[blue_chica]

FTLOD - I can''t imagine what you must be feeling, I know it would crush me. My ex was in the navy and I couldn''t handle his deployments.

I''m so, so sorry you''re going through it. I love Erin''s suggestion of planning something special to look forward to every day, and it might not be a bad idea to do that for after he leaves too. You are a very strong woman and you''ll make it through this.

DG - My thoughts are with you, try to use your head and not just your heart when evaluating this situation.

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Chica: Thank you for the kind words! Yes. Military life is not for everyone.. I have been with my DH since 1996 and this is his 3rd major deployment. We''ve been together for 8 years now and he has deployed to Bosnia (8 mos), Korea ( 1 year ) and now this 1 year deployment. I feel very blessed to be married to such a wonderful man. I am so proud of his service to his country and his integrity as a man.

Thank you all for your prayers!

 

[allycat0303]

ForLoveofDiamonds:

I can''t imagine what you must be going through! Both of you are making such a tremendous sacrifice. It is so good that you have family to take care and support you during this. I always thought that people in the military were incredibly brave, but I think it takes an equally brave woman to love a man in the military. We are all here for you if you need to vent, rant etc. Hugs!

 

[blueroses]

FTLOD, Amen to what Alley said--it takes an EQUALLY brave and selfless woman, and that is you, my dear. We are all here for you, and I can''t even imagine how hard this is going to be. I''ve done long distance a lot, but nothing at all compared to the sacrifice of you and your DH. I agree with Erin--find something SO fun and special to do each day and night until he leaves so that you have all of these fresh memories of the time together. Lean on us, we are here for you, and you are in my thoughts and prayers! Now go give that man a big hug!!

DG, I am so glad you sound better, I just worry--with the others--about this being a pattern. Are you moving forward with the plans for the trip now? (And good luck with the root canal!)

 

[kanne]

FTLOD
Your strength is such an inspiration. You and your DH are in my thoughts. We all appreciate the great service and sacrifices of military families. ((hugs))

Love, like a river, will cut a new path
whenever it meets an obstacle.

I was gathering ideas for wedding invites the other day and found this quote that pretty much says it all...
-lovey

 

[blueroses]

Lovey, that is a beautiful quote--very Zen sounding. There''s a great book called "Into the Garden, A Wedding Anthology" that has a lot of great wedding poetry, essays, service suggestions, etc.

 

[kanne]

thanks blueroses

, I''ll check that out! I''ve also been reading through Rumi love poems lately. I''d really like to find some lovely readings so that we can include more people in our ceremony. (sigh) there I go faux-planning again

lol.

 

[blueroses]

There are some Rumi ones in there!! (I''m the same way w/ the faux-planning....I also always obsess over who will do readings, b/c you want to include as many people as you can!!)

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Ally: Thank you so much!!! Hey.. since now I am in Ottawa, i''ll let you know when I am in Montreal! We''ll have to meet!

Lovey and Blueroses: Thank you so much for the very kind words. I appreciate them so much! I am lucky to be in the midst of such supportive women!

 

[SJS1234]

FTLOD -- I''ve been only skimming the threads this week because I''ve been busy at work, and I JUST read your post about your hubby! I know you must be just reeling, and I am SO sorry! I can''t imagine how scared and heartbroken you must be........ a whole year just seems like so long -- but we all know how fast time passes. It really really does, and I would tell you to seek out all sorts of new hobbies to keep yourself busy, but I''m sure you know all the tricks since he''s had 2 previous long deployments. Pricescope will definitely keep you busy and we girls (and guys) will try to keep your spirits up anyway we can! My heart is with you!

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Thanks Sally! You are too kind!

 

[allycat0303]

FLOD: If you are ever in Montreal, I will attack you to see your ring in person. You have been warned

. I NEED to see some REAL BLING! Seriously though, we are all here for you. If you need to rant, vent, etc. You are just a different kind of LIW (since you already snared your honey). Hugs!

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

Date: 1/28/2005 10

0:49 PM
Author: allycat0303
FLOD: If you are ever in Montreal, I will attack you to see your ring in person. You have been warned

. I NEED to see some REAL BLING! Seriously though, we are all here for you. If you need to rant, vent, etc. You are just a different kind of LIW (since you already snared your honey). Hugs!

Ally: Don''t worry, I love to show it off. Thanks for the kind words again!

 

[heartsonfire]

Fortheloveofdiamonds: Sorry I was not able to see this thread any sooner. Just want to let you know that you and your DH are in my prayers. Don't forget that we are here for you. Good vibes sending your way.
In a month I will be flying home to my family. I might be away from bf for about four months. But I will make it. I will have my family around me and of course you lovely ladies. (((hugs)))

Diamondgeezer: Take care of your precious heart. You are so good to her. Be good to yourself too. We will always be here for you. I'm happy to hear that you made up. Wishing you all the best.

 

[blueroses]

FTLOD, how are you doing this week? You''re on our minds!!!

(((HUGS)))