Bridesmaid TTC - what to do about dresses?

[LtlFirecracker]

So I am about 6 months away from my wedding and was about to push my bridesmaids for a decision on a dress in the next 2-3 weeks. One of my BM''s called and said "so you should know I am not pregnant but we are trying."

While I appreciate the heads up I am now trying to figure out what to do.

The dresses I was considering were from Priscilla of Boston, they have the color and types of styles I like. Does anyone know if they do maternity? It doesn''t look like it from there website. I really love these dresses and don''t want to change to a different company.

How far do you think I should push ordering the dresses to wait and see what happens?

Any other suggestions? Thanks.

 

[megumic]

I don''t think you should change the dresses you have chosen; I think there are other alternatives here.

I''d wait as long as you can to order the dresses, but in the same instance I wouldn''t risk them not arriving in time for tailoring and alterations. At the time of ordering, I''d encourage the BM to think about ordering up a size, or perhaps a dress that is forgiving in the baby belly region in the event she does become pregnant between now and then. I''d also ask the seamstress what she''d recommend in this situation as I''m sure she''ll have experience with this.

I''d be careful to be particularly sensitive, b/c if she does order up a size but in fact does not conceive prior to the wedding, it could be a tough let down. At the same token, if she does conceive there is also the chance she''ll be larger than she anticipates and she runs the risk of the dress not fitting at all!

Tough call, but a baby is a joyous life event. Reassure her that no matter the case, dress fits or not, you still want her in your wedding!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Thanks.

We are both well aware that what makes the difficult is we have no idea if she will be pregnant or not, and how far along she will be. She already has one 9 mo old child, so I would be surprised if she had difficulty.

This is my favorite dress. I love the color and style.

This is one my BM''s like (at least on photo), but the color (teaberry) is not quite the same.

However, this dress, comes in the same color as the one above. It might be an option for her.

 

[Deelight]

Could you maybe do different dresses but the same colour for your BM''s quite frankly the dresses you posted are all beautiful and the last empire line would be a safe bet for the possible preggers BM if she does concieve however if she doesn''t it is not a maternity dress.

Good luck .

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 3/15/2010 7:08:35 AM
Author: Deelight
Could you maybe do different dresses but the same colour for your BM''s quite frankly the dresses you posted are all beautiful and the last empire line would be a safe bet for the possible preggers BM if she does concieve however if she doesn''t it is not a maternity dress.

Good luck .

I think this is a great suggestion. It seems that more and more often brides are letting their BMs choose their favorite style from a handful of options. The last link you posted looks like it would be fine for someone who is pregnant or not.

 

[sunnyd]

Never mind, I answered before reading your second post.

 

[CurlySue]

I''m in a similar position. My sister/MOH will be less than two months post-pregnancy at our wedding, and my other bridesmaid is currently TTC. So we really have no idea what size either of them will be for the wedding!

I''ve asked the girls to agree upon one line of dresses, and then within that line, they''ll pick a dress that they feel would be best for them. So far, there are a bunch of empire-waisted dresses that have made the list of possibilities... so the third one you picked might be a really smart option, like a few other posters have noted.

I''m also just trying to be open-minded about the whole situation. If for some reason, the dresses that they pick end up not working, I''ll be OK with them just going to Macy''s or Nordstrom or wherever to find a suitable alternative. Their dresses are going to be navy blue, which should make it easy to find a back-up if their original picks don''t suit them.

So with all that said, if you think you can give your TTC-bridesmaid some flexibility, I would go ahead and order the dresses on your original timeline.

 

[violet3]

For BM dresses, can''t you wait until you are 3 months out? (maybe pricilla of boston is more strict than mori lee though). That''s when we ordered ours, and my sister was TTC also, and it worked! The seamstress added an inch to her size for every month she had to go from August to December and just ordered that size. It had to be taken in, but better than the alternative. Of course in our situation, we knew she was a couple weeks pregnant.

If at 3 months from now, she''s NOT pregnant yet, she could just order a size bigger or so and then have it taken in if it doesn''t happen that she gets pregnant. just brainstorming here....

 

[meresal]

I think this is something that you shouldn't be worried about.

Having another baby is your BM's decision, and she should order the dress in a size that she thinks she will need. If she thinks she'll be pregnant, then she should order larger. A dress can always be taken in if she doesn't end up preggo. I would plan on oredering on your original time line.

What if I was one of your BM's and said that I had an easting disorder, but was *trying* to stop... would you hold off ordering the dresses to *see* if I get bigger?

It's one thing to *be* pregnant and it's another to be *trying*. You can't put off your wedding decisions based on what she is *trying* to do.

Do you want all of the BM's in the same dress? Does it matter to you?

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Deelight and Clairtek, and sunnyd - I am thinking that would be the best solution, I just have to get a hold of a swatch to make sure the "teaberry" color is not too pink (I was going for more of a maroon-purple look). My first preference would be to put them in the same dress, but I have the extremes of hight in the wedding party, so I always figured that would not be do able.

CurlySue - I already put the empire waist dress out as an option to the girls, and no one really liked it, so I am thinking if I do it, I will let the BM who might need it get that one, and let the girls get one of the styles they liked. I have them about 4-5 options to choose from from that line. No one has gone to try them on yet which is why a decision has not been made.

violet3 - I think they told me 4-5 months out. Of course, I will find out from my sales rep how far I can push things without rush charges, which I know the rest of the girls would not be happy paying

mersal - of course it is her decision, I knew this might come up when I first asked her to be in the wedding party, as she told me she wants to have her kids pretty close together in age. But you are right, I think we can push the decision for another 4 weeks, and than she needs to decide how likely she thinks this is to happen. I was in her wedding, so I know she knows how BM''s dresses work with dye lots ect.

Thanks for all your help everyone!

 

[so cal girl]

It seems like you''ve already got some options, but i just thought I''d give my opinion anyway. i was in a similar situation to you, excpet that 3 of my bridesmaids told me they were TTC. We picked out dresses accordingly, and we even ordered them a whole year ahead of time, since they were having a yearly sale and we were able to get 15% off.

In the end, only one of my bridesmaids ended up being pregnant. But she was 9 month pregnant at my wedding. She ended up giving birth 5 days later! She ended up being too uncomfortable in the dresses we had, so she just went and got a similar looking dress at Kohls to wear. It worked out perfectly fine. I was just so happy she still wanted to be in the wedding at that point that I didn''t care what she wore!

It doesn''t look like any of the styles you posted were ridiculously tight on the belly. Worst case scenario, your BM would be about 5 months pregnant at the time, which wouldn''t make her exactly huge. She could probably just order one size up and rely on alterations. I was a bridesmaid at 3 months pregnant, and hadn''t even been TTC when we ordered the dresses (about 9 months prewedding), so I just had a dress that was a smidge tight. Never even bothered to have alterations.

 

[emeraldlover1]

My girls wore this dress: http://www.priscillaofboston.com/dress_detail.jsp?gid=2&sfid=51016 One of my bridesmaids was 4 months pregnant and she started to show really early and the dress was fine. I'm not suggesting choose this dress but rather go to the store and see how the samples fit. The sample of this dress and what my girls recieved was different than it is in the photo. The dress was actually really aline and depending on how pregnant your friend is, it might actually work. I do agree with whoever said that it isn't really your issue. If you give her an option in the same fabric and color it should work.

 

[ts44]

I have a bridesmaid who was TTC when we started looking at dresses (she is now pregnant, yay!). My only advice for buying non-maternity dresses is depending on how big she''ll be, she might need more length to the hem. My friend is due 3 days after my wedding and while all my bridesmaids are wearing knee-length dresses, she ordered a floor length version she''s going to have altered to the knee about a week before the wedding to make sure the hem won''t be too short in the front.

I told her if she has the baby AT my wedding, FI and I are automatically godparents, that''s the rule - and not to worry, there''s a surgeon, a nurse, and an EMT on the guest list.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:25:06 PM
Author: violet3
For BM dresses, can''t you wait until you are 3 months out? (maybe pricilla of boston is more strict than mori lee though). That''s when we ordered ours, and my sister was TTC also, and it worked! The seamstress added an inch to her size for every month she had to go from August to December and just ordered that size. It had to be taken in, but better than the alternative. Of course in our situation, we knew she was a couple weeks pregnant.


If at 3 months from now, she''s NOT pregnant yet, she could just order a size bigger or so and then have it taken in if it doesn''t happen that she gets pregnant. just brainstorming here....

This sounds like a good option that solves the problem with the least hassle