Brides I need your help

[radiantquest]

I am a MOH for my best friend. I love her and want to be the best I can be, but I have never been in a wedding, much less a MOH and I need some guidance as to what my resposibilities are and what to do, what kind of gift to get them, do I get her two? Bridal Shower and for the wedding? Please help! I want to do a good job.

 

[shertz1981]

That''s so fantastic! I''m sure your friend is really excited that you agreed.

Everyone''s expectations and responsibilities are different. This is how it''s falling out for my wedding.

My MOH is organizing my bachelorette party (so much for my previous post about not having one-- I was thrilled that she offered). She''s going to come with my mom and me to at least one of my dress fittings to learn how to do my bustle. She''s getting her hair done and she''ll deal with my dress train during the ceremony.

As for the gift, get your friend whatever you want to get her. She''ll love it because it''s from you.

MOHs and BMs host bridal showers, too, but my mom and my ketubah signer are taking care of mine.

 

[Haven]

Hey RQ!

I've been a MOH a couple times, and I really adjusted my "responsibilities" to each bride. You know your friend best, what do you think she expects of you? If you really don't know, you can always just ask. Say something like "Okay, tell me how I can be the best MOH for you." If she doesn't know yet, just be sure to ask "Hey, anything I can help you with for the wedding" every once in a while.

In my experience, my friends expected me to go dress shopping, and then accessory shopping, and then sometimes help them with stationery, but that's just because I'm a stationery nerd. They did a lot of whining to me about their planning woes, so I did a lot of sympathetic sighing and nodding. That sort of thing.

As for gifts, I always give gifts for each event I attend, but I do make a budget for them. I went to FOUR showers for one friend, so I gave her a toaster oven for the first one, which was expensive, and then a bagel slicer, a recipe book for homemade breads (ya know, to *toast* them later . . . ), and something else related to the oven for the fourth gift. I think it was The last three were all relatively inexpensive, and that was fine, IMO. We gave a wedding gift, as well.

The bottom line is that you should feel obligated to spend more than you can afford.

ETA: I didn't mention the big things she probably expects you to do.
- Host a bridal shower with the rest of the BP.
- Organize her bachelorette party.
- Rally up the other bridesmaids and make sure they're on task for getting their dresses and other attire for the big day. (I just sent out an email to the bridesmaids to remind them about the details, that sort of thing.)

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

Way to take the initiative and find out! I''m sure your friend will appreciate your efforts.

My MOH will be throwing my bridal shower and bachelorette party. She is going dress shopping with me because she is a fashion stylist and I want her opinion on gowns. She is also going to design my invites for the wedding and the bridal shower (she used to be a graphic designer and has awesome software and skills for this). As you can see, my MOH''s duties are based on her talents. I also anticipate she will assist me with decorating the reception location, but I haven''t really gotten that far in my planning yet to say for sure.

According to Ms. Manners, one nice gift for the shower and a small gift at the wedding itself is tradition.

You could, of course, mention to your BF what you did to us and offer up any of your own talents.