Best Man Etiquette

[Bass12]

I am getting married next July. I would like my brother to be my best man, however, he leaves on a tour of duty with the Marine Corps back to Iraq in June. I am still going to keep him as best man in the program, and hopefully have him record a video for a speech.

My fiancee demands that I also have someone do the traditional speech in person at the reception. Two of my groomsmen are my best friends from highschool and I don''t want to choose between them. So does it make sense to have them titled as "Acting Best Men", and have them give a joint speech/toast?

Please help!
Thanx!

 

[Alice in DiamondLand]

I have absolutely no idea. sounds complicated.

There is an "Emily Post on weddings" that might shed light on the issue. fyi.
With that said, there is no "right" way to do a wedding, it''s yours to plan and do how you want.

I think it''s neat that you want to include your brother. do you have a younger child you could include? it might be sweet and deflect from it all if you had like a younger brother or nephew or something, introduce your brother saying that "he can''t be with us and wanted me to pass you this message"

good luck

 

[qtiekiki]

If your fiance really wants a toast/speech from someone present at the wedding, it would be ok to have your two groomsmen to make a joint toast or two individual toast. You can have as many toasts/speeches as you wish. However it is a good idea to have them keep the toast short, so your guests are not overwhelmed with too many long speeches. I think traditionally there is only one toast from the best man if that''s what you are concerned with.

 

[blueroses]

It is MORE than fine to have your two best friends do it together as de facto best men while your real brother is best man in name and overseas.

My brother-in-law''s brother was his best man--more out of propriety than anything. He gave an ok speech, but the really moving speech came right after when his two best friends gave a second speech together. So it was nice to have tributes from all of them--and in my view as long as everyone keeps it brief, it''s fine!

Good luck and a big thank you to your brother....no matter how we feel about the war or politics, I think we can all agree on support and prayers for the selflessness and heroism of our armed forces.

 

[Bass12]

Thank you for your responses, they help. I really do like the idea of that nice introduction to my brother''s video, followed by a shorter speech from the combo of my two "replacement" best men. I''m 24, and he is my younger brother at only 19. He was promoted to corporal in the marine corps after his duties in Iraq. At Christmas I hope he can be in his dress blues and he can do the video then. We''ll see.