becky p

[janinegirly]

tell us what''s new with you..are you guys still living separate in NC? how on earth do you stay so patient? i vaguely remember a march deadline.

i hope he''s giving you more concrete answers/firm timeline! hawaii sounds great though..

 

[Becky P]

Hey Janine! The only way I stay so patient is because I KNOW deep down that he's the one for me and I'm the one for him. Yes, I go through my freak-out moments (had one last Friday), but for all the complaining and agonizing that I did, I just know it's going to work out.

Yes, we both ended up moving to NC and we're living in separate places (technically). I absolutely LOVE North Carolina, and don't know why I never visited/lived here before. So, even though I didn't stick with my ultimatum of not moving without a proposal, I know that no matter what, I'll be happy here.

I think the problem was that I would vent here or to my friends, but never really fully explain to him what was going on with me. Since I had that realization, I've really tried to keep our private life private and talk to him about anything that's going on rather than going outside our "circle of trust". I think that's made a big difference.

And, last Friday when I was freaking out, I almost posted here, but just decided to let it all out and let him see "crazy" Becky, and I think it really made a difference. I think he finally GOT what I've been feeling all these months and how important it is to me that we have a future together. I also finally GOT what he's been feeling, and basically since he was feeling forced, he was digging his heels into the mud.

So, I had ordered a few books (?'s to ask before you get married type things), and it's over at his house so he can browse through it as well because I had already looked through it quite a bit. Over the next few weeks and months, we're going to take some time and really go through it and discuss all the different topics, which range from finances to religion to children to household chores, etc. This should give him a little more time to feel like he's not being forced into marriage, yet will allow me to see that he's making progress towards being ready for marriage (because at this stage, the only other sign of progress would be a ring...)

Also, this weekend we went out for brunch and a few errands. Then, on the drive home he was like, let's turn into this neighborhood, they're building some new homes. So, we drove into this new development. Then, he wanted to drive around a few neighborhoods and check out what they were like and we looked around and talked about where we would want to buy a house, what we would need as far as a house goes (we both work from home and want children...), how much we want to spend on a house, what we would do with his salary vs. my salary, etc, etc.

So, technically, no progress in that there is no ring or any ring shopping going on yet. But, internally, there's a lot of progress being made and we're preparing for our lives together. I think it's inevitable that we will get engaged, it's just a matter of when - unfortunately no matter how many times or ways I ask that question, I haven't been able to get a timeline out of it...

Anyway, tell us about your wedding planning Janine!! How's it going? When's the wedding? What have you booked so far?? Hope you and your fiance are doing well!! You were my "list buddy", so it's good to hear from you!

ETA: The Hawaii trip is in November, and I CANNOT WAIT! I think it'd be so amazing to get engaged in Hawaii!! Although, if he wants to do it sooner, I surely wouldn't have a problem with that either!!!

 

[Mandarine]

Hi Becky!

I think those books are a good idea!!!

Regardless of everything, I am so happy you love NC!!!!! I have been dying to go there for vacation since I have never been there!!!. I know I''m going to love it, we are very "outdoorsy" so FI and I always talk about moving there one day

I think it is important to realize what things should remain private...I''m a veyr open person and sometimes talk too much! haha....and it comes back to bit me in the @ss. My FI in the other hand is very very private...I have learned that some privacy is important, so good for you!

Just wanted to say hi

M~

 

[KimberlyH]

Ditto Mandarine''s sentiment. Your post comes accross as quite content with where you are and at the end of the day that''s all that matters. I am a gut-spiller as well, and my DH is quite private...I have learned that life is much easier lived when you know it''s time to shut your mouth. Hang in there, and I hope there''s a proposal story soon!

 

[bee*]

hey Becky,
Glad things are going well. That''s all that matters in the long run, whether or not you have a ring on your finger. That would be great if he proposed in Hawaii!! Wow! Keeping my fingers crossed for that one for you!!

 

[NYCsparkle]

I''m glad all is working out for you...communication is the key to a relationship and i''m glad you found a way to do it...good luck in nc.