At what point does it get stressful?

[laughwithme]

I need to find some major wood to knock on before I start this thread but....when does wedding planning get stressful?! I have found my planning experience to be fun, exhilarating, and I''ve been taking the time to sit back and enjoy this stage.

I am about 8 months out. Lots of big stuff is done. The stuff that isn''t, well, it will get done. I''ve got a master timeline with everything I need to do - and I have been meeting my own deadlines as if it were a work project! Family/friends have been wonderful. I''ve been sure not to sweat the small stuff. It sucks we''re dropping 15k of our own cash (a huge stress for many...) but such is life - we want the wedding we want. We aren''t worrying about it.

My sister''s friend had hives beginning 6 months from her wedding, due to stress. A girl on Facebook getting married two months after me is saying things like, "I hate this, I just want to be married already."

I am thinking the last month may be stressful with last-minute details like programs, etc. But, I am not one who is afraid to ask for help, so if its too much for me, I will ask for assistance. I am just wondering....

...when did it get stressful for everyone here? What sort of things caused the stress? How far away from the wedding did your stress begin? Is anyone here in the same boat as me, and having the time of your life with almost zero wedding stress?

 

[sunnyd]

Everything has been fantastic until a couple of weeks ago I started to feel stressed. Money, timelines, vendors not communicating, my mom, and little things are starting to pile up. (We''re also moving the week before, so add that too!)

I''m extremely glad I got almost everything done early so hopefully I won''t feel rushed as the next 24 days tick away.

 

[emeraldlover1]

The last month was the most stressful for me. So many things come up that you would never expect. Not to mention that stress dosen''t always mean negative stress. For example, for at least two weeks leading up to the wedding I was getting addrenaline rushes of excitement. That is still stressful on the body however not mentally negative, if that makes sense. Dealing with dress issues, vendor issues, last minute guest changes, and too many bridesmaids added to the negative side. Oh, and I stressed about the weather which you really can''t do anything about.

Up until that point I didn''t feel very stressed at all. Overall, I loved planning my wedding and would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

[parrot tulips]

I planned our wedding in 7 months. My super wonderful friend very graciously offered to act as our Day of Coordinator, so I didn''t need to worry about set-up, clean-up, or dealing with vendors the day of. The things she handled, would have been my only source of stress, but since it was taken care of by someone I trusted, my only source of aggravation/worry was an irritating FIL (not demanding, just annoying).

I had the same outlook as you - I remained organized, and didn''t sweat the small stuff. And all remained well from beginning to end. If it makes a difference, we only had an 80-85 person guest list, so it was probably easier than planning for 150+ guests.

 

[ladypirate]

LOL--I''m at 9 months out and I''m already stressed about stuff. I guess my stress is stemming from the fact that everyone has these super original ideas and I feel like I just don''t care enough to have all these tiny little details planned out. Oh. And we don''t have a photographer yet. That is kind of freaking me out.

 

[KatyWI]

I was totally unstressed and didn''t give a rip aboout anything until... oh, the last month.

And let''s not even talk about the last week!

Hopefully, you''ll be luckier than me!

 

[MagsyMay]

I''ve had isolated bouts of stress so far. (I''m still 11 months away, btw). I was SUPER stressed about picking the venue because that was most important to me. The mounting cost also is something that stresses me. I think every time there is a major decision (already have venue/caterer and photog, but florist, DJ, invites, etc.) I will probably get a bit stressed out. But so far I don''t feel it on a day to day basis and don''t expect that I will down the road.

I think a lot of it depends on your personality. I know some friends that ALWAYS have to be stressed/complaining/worrying about something, no matter what, and they were exactly that way throughout the wedding planning process. Other more care-free friends thought it was a blast. I''m somewhere in between, but major decisions in life always stress me out, so I think that is why I will get stressed about each vendor decision along the way. Once the decisions are made though, I''m pretty relaxed!

I''m glad you''re having such a great stress-free experience so far!

 

[marlie]

I''m about 9.5 months out and have had a few bouts of stress. The only thing that lingers for me for some reason is the dress stress. Everything else is really quickly resolved. I think the fun parts are outweighing the stressful stuff though!

 

[Octavia]

I didn''t start to get really stressed until a little over a week before the wedding. The week before was pretty awful (though not entirely from wedding-related causes) and once people started to arrive...forget it. I was a wreck. I think the worst part is trying to be everything to all of the guests who have come in from far away, to see them all and make sure they''re happy, and to not go crazy doing it.

 

[elrohwen]

I thought the last month was by far the most stressful. I took an easy planning route and really had a lot of down time during the process. However, that last month stuff is really unavoidable and there's no way to do most of it earlier no matter how good of a planner you are. I found I was always calling my vendors, making sure about times, payments, etc. They're doing a lot of weddings, so they don't want to talk to you 7 weeks out and forget everything. They want to go over it all 2 weeks before.

Also, really nailing down last minute details was kind of hard. Like, I finally had to pick songs for the ceremony. I had to pick first dance songs. That type of stuff. The big stuff was fun and easy, but the little details just got pushed off to the end and had to eventually be dealt with. Plus, you're dealing with getting invites back, making sure everybody RSVPed, etc.

Though by the time it was at all stressful, I was so close to the day that I just sucked it up and knew it would all soon be over

If it had been stressful 5 months out, I think I would've cancelled and eloped! Haha

ETA: Printing stuff in the last month is a pain. We didn't do programs or menus (actually the venue did menus for us), but the placecards were stressful enough. Our printer crapped out halfway through and printed the table numbers crooked on maybe 10 out of 50 cards (names were straight, with a crooked "Table __" under it). We would run test cards through (that had already been printed on) and it would do fine. Then we would put the nice card in and it would screw up. Ahhh!! Haha. It wasn't so bad that we couldn't use the messed up ones, but it's just a PITA when stuff like that happens and you just want it to be all over with.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 10/14/2009 1:55:37 PM
Author: ladypirate
LOL--I''m at 9 months out and I''m already stressed about stuff. I guess my stress is stemming from the fact that everyone has these super original ideas and I feel like I just don''t care enough to have all these tiny little details planned out. Oh. And we don''t have a photographer yet. That is kind of freaking me out.

Haha, that''s how I felt. I just couldn''t get myself to care about the little details! We actually ended up coming up with some very cool things that were original to us, but they just kind of came to us one day ... they couldn''t be forced. I''m sure you''ll come up with one or two things that are unique to you, and even if you don''t you''ll have a total blast at the wedding anyway. Heck, I spent time picking out wines that I loved, and I honestly didn''t even taste them as I was drinking them because I was so into talking to people and having fun.

 

[bee*]

I didn''t have any stress at all during the whole thing-even the day before and the morning of went fine. Bear in mind that I loved planning our wedding and we had a 19 month engagement so we had plenty of time to do everything. Just enjoy it all-I kind of miss it now.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I was cool as a cucumber up until the period I am in now - about two and a half weeks away from my day. There are so many projects that had to wait until we had all of our RSVP''s in that I am feeling a tad stressed over everything that has to get done. I know it will all get done and I have had a wonderful support network behind me all the way but I am certainly feeling some heat right now!

I think more than anything I feel almost in a state of disbelief. I can''t believe I will be getting married in 2.5 weeks after months and months and months of planning and counting down to the day. I feel almost a bit detached from my entire wedding right now which is a bittersweet feeling. I am absolutely excited to marry the man I love most in the world but right now I have a case of only being able to see what is right in front of me - and right now that''s seating arrangements, a few straggler items for the tables and organizing my final payments!

 

[Diva0413]

For me, the last couple of weeks leading up to the wedding were stressful. I kept finding things that I wanted to do (DIY stuff), staying up late stuffing favors, wrapping up outstanding RSVPs, not eating properly, and losing weight. Before that, I was relatively stress-free.

 

[anchor31]

The planning wouldn''t have been stressful if it hadn''t been for all the family drama. I loved planning the wedding itself. I''m laid back and not so detail oriented, and I trusted my vendors to do what we asked. But between my sister/MOH who was freaking out because she thought I was ruining my life (thankfully she had a change of attitude and was amazing on the day of) and my MIL who was freaking out because she felt I was stealing her son away from her, it was a total NIGHTMARE.

I''m glad to hear it''s a positive experience for you!

 

[Amanda.Rx]

I''m going to be out of town for the entire month of November doing a rotation out of state, so I can''t get anything done around town that month. When I get back, I''ll have 4 months left. 4 months left to finish everything stresses me out.

 

[zipzapgirl]

Honestly, I think most people get stressed about family/friend issues and money issues. The guest list also seems to universally cause issues, especially since it directly affects the costs and can be such a sensitive subject. If you''ve got those things under control, I''d say you''re way ahead of the game!

I''d say also that 6-8 weeks out and 2 weeks out, a LOT of last minute things have to be done which you did not anticipate or couldn''t do until then.

 

[noelwr]

I got stressed only twice:

1. bringing the dress on the plane (we flew about 5 days before the wedding). they couldn''t guarantee there would be space in the business class coat rack, and I was not willing to put my dress in the cargo hold for it only to get lost somewhere in the airport. luckily space wasn''t a problem.

2. before walking down the aisle. I was actually ready before the ceremony was supposed to start but we had late guests still arriving. then when we were waiting for everyone to stand, I suddenly got nervous, but a minute later I was down the aisle holding my husband''s hand and the rest was wonderful.

otherwise everything else went really well with the planning (even though we had a destination wedding). we were engaged for 18 months so that was easy enough to do, and we actually got bored waiting for the wedding day (which is why we wanted it to hurry up to happen) so we went on a pre-honeymoon to Vegas.

 

[miraclesrule]

You''ll find out!!

And we''ll know when it gets stressful for you because you will start a thread with a really obvious stressful topic.

Enjoy this stress-free time while you can. We''ll be here when you have a mini-meltdown.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I didn''t really stress until... well... now. I''m two months out. Printing/Sending invites was a pain in the rear... And what else? Hmmm... just the little things that you forget about until the big day is around the corner- finding a hairstyle, making song lists for DJs, officiant gifts, card box, blahblahblahblahblah.

If you''re a super-level-headed bride who doesn''t mind the silly details

you may not stress at all! If you are the type of person who does get caught up on minor things, it definitely helps to do as much NOW as you possibly can.

 

[TooPatient]

I''m not even officially engaged yet. I have started on wedding planning. (and he knows it)

I''m a very list oriented person. When the time comes I NEED to have my list and timelines and stick to them.

Details matter to me.

I think with my list in hand I''ll be pretty okay but for now, I am hugely stessed about the wedding. Do I still love the dress I bought? Where is the best location? Who do we invite? Who can we get away with not inviting?
How do we pay for it?


So, to answer your question about when stress starts:
I want to have at least a 12 month engagement (need enough time to plan and enjoy being engaged). Still don''t have my ring or proposal (within the next year it will happen). And I''m stressed already.

 

[luvbug]

I''ve was stressed out like crazy for over a year! I''m so jealous!
Now less than a week away and I''ve been stress free for about 2 weeks. I just worked like crazy to get every last thing done, now I''m smooth sailing (finally!)
If you''re having a great time planning you''re probably in good shape. I kept a running to do list (listing literally everything) on my computer for months and crossed of things as I went so you can see done vs to do. It also helped me not forget anything...I would have totally forgotten to get a garter if I didn''t have it written down! There''s lots of little things to do at the end for sure.
Good luck & hopefully you stay stree-free!

 

[KimberlyH]

It doesn't have to get stressful. I think it depends a lot on personality/ies, as a previous poster stated. I tend to look for the bright side in situations, find solutions when I can, and let the rest go so I found planning (8 months from engagement to wedding) to be lots of fun and it was a great experience for both me and my husband. We also have extremely loving and supportive family and friends which I'm sure makes a difference.

The only thing that was truly stressful for me was that my then 87 year old MIL, who died of complications from Alzheimer's 6 months after our wedding, broke some bones in her back and was hospitalized and operated on 3 weeks before the wedding. We weren't sure if she was going to make it or not, but we were able to hire a nurse who escorted her to the wedding/reception. She managed to stay through the ceremony, cocktail hour, and the first hour of dinner and then had to return to the hospital. I was sad that she was having a rough day and didn't recognize me but she really seemed to enjoy herself and nothing I could have done would have made the day any better for her, so I had to be pleased that she was simply present.