At what age did you walk to school alone?

[sunnyd]

I walked with my sister and 2 neighbor kids from 1st grade on. It was maybe a 1/2 mile away, but a few turns and down a busy road. I was never scared though. Meh.

 

[D&T]

back in the 80s I walked to school at age 5. When I was in second grade, I had my own house key and had to tend myself until my mom came home which was for about an hour. Now, I don't even want my nieces to walk to school and they are nine years old. It feels more nuts and people seem to be more violent and malicious now a days

I won't be letting my daughters walk to school... EVER!!!....lol I'll just drive them or walk with them.

 

[Pandora II]

I went to boarding school at 12, and then walked from my boarding house to the Main School for lessons on my own or with other kids.

DH and I have already had a disagreement on this - I''ve said over my dead body does Daisy walk to school alone until high school. First, we live in London, second the roads are dangerous, but mainly I''d never forgive myself.

 

[lulu]

About a mile and a half by the time I was 8. But that was in 1961. My husband and I were just talking about how different the world is now. It''s very sad, but I wouldn''t let an 8 year old do that now.

 

[lulu]

Incidentally,it''s not that we''re more paranoid. Child-stranger abductions have increased dramatically since the 80s.

 

[AdiS]

5th-6th grade maybe. My school was too far away, and we live in a capital city (too crowded, too noisy, horrible traffic) sooo, yeah, it''s wasn''t and still isn''t a very good idea to let a very young kid wander alone.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Never- and at one point I lived 7 houses down from my school (4th grade). We lived on a busy street, though.

I *was* allowed to walk to neighbor''s houses and to a girlfriend''s house that was four doors down, starting at a young age... maybe 4 or so. We were also allowed to play in the woods behind my house. That''s slightly different, but you never know what critters or people are lurking back there, nevermind what your kids are doing/climbing on/eating/swinging from/etc.

I nanny for three little girls, the oldest of whom is nearly 6, and I freak if they''re out of my line of vision for .00001 seconds (if we''re outside, that is). Part of that is because they aren''t *my* kids and I feel super-obligated to keep them safe.... but I foresee myself being just as paranoid with my own future brood.

 

[Jas12]

Tgal, i too was 4-5 years old (kinder) everyone walked to school and it wasn''t a short walk either.

Around here i think it is more like first or second grade, but many students are bused b/c in the winter the temps drop too low to risk having a kid wander off somewhere and literally freeze (it happened and now everyone is paranoid)
Not sure when i''ll let my kiddies walk alone--guess it''ll depend on the kid''s maturity, location of the school etc.

 

[Haven]

I walked to school starting in second grade, so I was age six at the beginning of the school year. Prior to that we had lived too far away from school for me to walk, but I imagine I would have been allowed to walk to school in kindergarten because I walked *with* all the kindergarteners in our neighborhood when I was in second grade.

It does sound young to me, now.

I loved it. In the winter we would slide down the icy driveways and throw snowballs at each other the whole way.

 

[hlmr]

I was also four (1971). My mother wanted to walk with me, even just for the first day or two, but apparently I said no, I want to go alone. Poor Mom, raising independent daughters. Anyway, it was about a 1/2 mile walk. I am the oldest, so when I was six, my four year old sister walked with me, and two years later my youngest sister joined us. I know a friend of my mothers would keep an eye out when I walked by her house.

 

[softly softly]

Here in Australia we have ''walking buses'' whereby a couple of parents volunteer to walk groups of kids to and from school. They have designated meeting points so that kids who don''t live within walking distance are able to be dropped off and still walk a couple of blocks to school. I think they are a great idea because they decrease the amount of traffic congestion around the school and also provide kids with daily exercise under adult supervision.

 

[TravelingGal]

After reading about the gang rape of a 15 year old girl today, I''ve decided that Amelia is never walking alone to school. Ever. That includes college. I hope she doesn''t mind me being her dormmate.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/27/california.gang.rape.investigation/index.html

 

[miraclesrule]

Hahaha T-gal. I told my daughter I was waiting to go to college until she went because I was never letting her go away.

It''s disturbing the level of violence in this country. I walked to school in kindergarten. However, I have to say that we did get duped by an old man pervert who lured us with ginormous candy bars. I was too young to think about it but he sure did like us to sit in his lap a lot and talk while we waited for candy.

I like the way the Aussies have a group of parents who join together. Perhaps we should start that here in the U.S.

I only made it thorough one or two years of my daughter being a latch key kid and then relied on her friends parents to pick her up. I consider myself blessed.

I think it''s different in rural vs. urban schools...maybe? I dunno...it''s all a little too depressing for me. I think I will retire now so I can be my granddaughters personal chauffer...or however it''s spelled. (Clearly, I didn''t go to college with my daughter)

 

[miraclesrule]

Part of me wonders if child abduction has actually increased or that we are just communicating about it more now.

Prior to cable t.v. and internet, we just didn''t hear about the cases, but I bet it happened just as much.

 

[packrat]

That article gives me the shivers Tgal, and makes me want to cry..that poor girl, I feel for her. I''m stunned that kids think it''s ok and watched and did nothing.

I look at my little girls face, and even just to think "what if" makes me light headed and want to vomit. It makes my brain feel like it''s twisting in my skull, trying to fathom how anyone could treat a child the way we read about on the internet and in the papers.

I want my kids to be independent, yes, but..*if* something happened, I could never forgive myself. She''s stuck with me. And her large dad. Sometimes I think people are lulled into a false sense of security..bad things happen to "other" people, it''s a small town, it''s a nice neighborhood etc. I don''t think kids need to be in a bubble or anything..but what can a little kid do against an adult, really?

 

[packrat]

Oh, and Miracles, I agree about parents doing something like the Aussies do, joining together!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/27/2009 10:56:14 PM
Author: packrat
That article gives me the shivers Tgal, and makes me want to cry..that poor girl, I feel for her. I''m stunned that kids think it''s ok and watched and did nothing.

I look at my little girls face, and even just to think ''what if'' makes me light headed and want to vomit. It makes my brain feel like it''s twisting in my skull, trying to fathom how anyone could treat a child the way we read about on the internet and in the papers.

I want my kids to be independent, yes, but..*if* something happened, I could never forgive myself. She''s stuck with me. And her large dad. Sometimes I think people are lulled into a false sense of security..bad things happen to ''other'' people, it''s a small town, it''s a nice neighborhood etc. I don''t think kids need to be in a bubble or anything..but what can a little kid do against an adult, really?

I did cry! I don''t usually read articles like that because they upset me now. My heart just breaks for the girl and her family. I would want to strangle all those kids myself. At least though, I believe in the concept of forgiveness. TGuy would be angry for the rest of his life, and it would eat him alive.

 

[miraclesrule]

When my nephew was 12 he was jumped by a gang of boys from 12-14 because they wanted to steal his bike. It was on the corner five houses down from my sister. He was at the door and my sister saw him and practically died from the sight.

He now has seizures as a result. I just don''t know and why these things happen. It''s one of the reasons I am on the board of a non-profit for kids and try to teach non-violence. It''s just not necessary. If I think of it too much, I too...cry.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/28/2009 12:29:38 AM
Author: miraclesrule
When my nephew was 12 he was jumped by a gang of boys from 12-14 because they wanted to steal his bike. It was on the corner five houses down from my sister. He was at the door and my sister saw him and practically died from the sight.

He now has seizures as a result. I just don''t know and why these things happen. It''s one of the reasons I am on the board of a non-profit for kids and try to teach non-violence. It''s just not necessary. If I think of it too much, I too...cry.

Is it too crazy to keep my kid at home for the rest of her life? I can also bring back the idea of an arranged marriage if she really has to find a partner.

 

[softly softly]

Date: 10/28/2009 12:40:53 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 10/28/2009 12:29:38 AM

Author: miraclesrule

When my nephew was 12 he was jumped by a gang of boys from 12-14 because they wanted to steal his bike. It was on the corner five houses down from my sister. He was at the door and my sister saw him and practically died from the sight.


He now has seizures as a result. I just don''t know and why these things happen. It''s one of the reasons I am on the board of a non-profit for kids and try to teach non-violence. It''s just not necessary. If I think of it too much, I too...cry.

Is it too crazy to keep my kid at home for the rest of her life? I can also bring back the idea of an arranged marriage if she really has to find a partner.

No not too crazy in light of stories like these. In theory I like to think I will be able to give my kids the freedom and independence they need to become well-adjusted adults, but in practice the thought of something happening to them when I am not around terrifies me. It''s easy now that they are still small and require constant supervision, but I know it''s going to be a challenge as they get older deciding what exactly I am comfortable letting them do.

I hate to think of myself as a paranoid, hovering parent, but one case here in Australia that has always haunted me is that of Daniel Morecombe who was 13 when he disappeared 6 years ago waiting for a bus.

 

[fieryred33143]

My MIL lives across the street from an elementary school. This morning there was a 4 year old girl walking down her street to go to school and I started watching her.

She first stopped by a house that had a barking dog. She was saying something to the dog but I couldn''t hear what.

Then she stops and picks up a stick.

She passes by me and says hello so I say hi. She asked "is that a baby?" I said yes. She asked "is he 0 years old?" I say yes but she''s a girl. She goes "oh" and thinks about it for a while before asking her name. I say Sophia. She says "she''s sleeping? Is she really tired?" I say yes. She says "me too but I have to go to school." I say well it''s 7:50, aren''t you going to be late? And she goes oh yeah, ok bye.

Then she stops at the house next door to look up into a tree. She glances over to me and says ''there''s a little bird in here'' and walked away giggling.

LOL I thought I would share that. Little kids are so funny. I dropped off DD and made my way down the street and she was still making her way to school. She was waving to all of the passing cars.

 

[Jas12]

I love the idea of a walking school bus--it''s great. I hope community minded stuff like that happens around here. I live in a very safe community. A single act of violent crime is *huge* news and very very rare and i don''t even lock my doors when i go out, but i am still very, very worried about my kid. Parenthood just does that. I now think of how often our parents had to take a leap of faith to let us go out on our own--at all stages of life. My mom claims it was hard to see me go away 5 hours to university (and i thought she was nuts for worrying--i was 19 after all) but now as a parent myself i am starting to understand. I think worry is part of the pkg deal of parenting....forever.

 

[softly softly]

Regarding the walking school bus I thought this was an interesting article in light of this discussion as it talks about finding safe ways to give children independent mobility through community participation:

http://www.lesstraffic.com/Articles/Traffic/wbstalled.htm

 

[MustangGal]

I never lived close enough, but I did walk to the bus stop on my own, I think from about 1st grade. In 3rd grade we moved a block away, and I would walk to the bus stop, having to cross a VERY busy street, by myself. This was late 80''s. By high school, I rode my bike the 2 miles to school.

I plan to let my son walk to the bus stop alone when we get to that point, but I think the age will depend a bit on his maturity level.

 

[sctsbride09]

TravelingGal- that article was absolutely horrifying. I hope every single one of them gets punished severely. Probably wont, though, hate to say it. My heart breaks for this girl. To answer the original question, I never walked to school, and knowing what I know, Id NEVER let my child either. If I had one, that is.

 

[Mara]

we lived about 3-4 long neighborhood blocks from school and all the kids walked in the late 70's. most of the time we would try to walk in groups. i was about 6 or 7 i think when i started walking. my mom was a teacher so i'd come home and hang out in the front yard for like an hour until she got home after school.

i was reading an article in the NYT a few weeks ago about walking to school nowadays. it referenced things like... parents who send their kids to walk to school on their own even a block or up the street from them are given the evil eye by other parents. one parent who is trying to teach her kid some independence let him walk up the street to another neighbor's house by himself to play. the parent drove the kid back home because she didn't want him walking back home 4 houses away. another example was a mom who let her 11 year old walk home from school one day...the kid wanted to and she was trying to kind of loosen the latch a bit on him. she was waiting in the driveway already a panic and he was late. well, a police officer saw the kid, picked him up and took him home and like blistered the mom with a lecture on how dangerous that was! and she was already freaked out. so doubt that kid is walking home by himself again!

the article was asking 'what is right?' it referenced one abduction recently, i don't remember who, but was walking to school or a friends house. they asked what is too much? what is not enough? what is just right?

it really makes you think because while i would love to be the type of parent to foster independence in my kid and be like 'sure walk up the street to your friend's house'...i would still not feel sure. we live right up the street from a school and i think i would still walk my kid there. but it goes against my grain MENTALLY to do that too. i think in a way all this extra parental involvement it makes the kids even less 'prepared' for the world today. sure you can say don't talk to strangers or try to TELL them how to behave, but in some essence at some point it has to be pratice to make them remember and let them really experience and learn for themselves. but on the flip side, at what expense? when's the 'right time'?

did anyone see Desperate Housewives this sunday? there was a storyline about Gaby and her kids and how she doesn't watch over them every second when they are playing or when friends are over and all the other Moms thought she was a bad mother for not being more involved with them.

does anyone think that there are still places in the US where your kids CAN walk to school and home or to a friend's house and you really wouldn't worry? if so please chime in because I WANT TO MOVE THERE.

 

[packrat]

They do it here all the time and nothing has ever happened, ever, as far as I know. But that doesn''t mean it won''t, and I don''t want to be the parent sobbing on tv that she was *only* walking 2 blocks and she *knows* not to talk to strangers and this is such a small community, things like this just *don''t* happen.

Not too far from here, a 3 year old girl was raped and strangled. In her house. In her bed. While her dad slept in the next room and her mom was up nursing the baby. The guy came in thru the child''s unlocked bedroom window. The guy who did it was someone they knew, and knew routines, etc. But they felt safe. This is in a larger city than ours, but still in a Midwestern area where things *don''t* happen. But they can, and they do, we just don''t like to think it.

Wasn''t that child who was abducted years ago who they just now found, abducted right in front of her step dad or something??

I realize there aren''t boogeymen hiding behind every bush waiting to snatch my children. But unfortunately, those boogeymen do exist, and I just prefer to err on the side of caution. Kids can certainly be independent and still be walked to school, or whatever the case may be. Kids don''t have adult defenses. Kids are trusting by nature, and there are people who will take advantage of that.

We have a "treatment" center for men who''ve taken advantage of childrens trusting nature right here in my town. It''s encircled by barbed wire and electric fences. And it''s so full we turn other wastes of the human species away b/c there are so many. And every single one of those men left behind parents saying "But it was only 2 blocks" or "But we live in such a small town" or "But my child knows not to talk to strangers" or "But that would never happen to my child".

 

[softly softly]

Date: 10/28/2009 8:32:10 PM
Author: packrat
They do it here all the time and nothing has ever happened, ever, as far as I know. But that doesn''t mean it won''t, and I don''t want to be the parent sobbing on tv that she was *only* walking 2 blocks and she *knows* not to talk to strangers and this is such a small community, things like this just *don''t* happen.


Not too far from here, a 3 year old girl was raped and strangled. In her house. In her bed. While her dad slept in the next room and her mom was up nursing the baby. The guy came in thru the child''s unlocked bedroom window. The guy who did it was someone they knew, and knew routines, etc. But they felt safe. This is in a larger city than ours, but still in a Midwestern area where things *don''t* happen. But they can, and they do, we just don''t like to think it.


Wasn''t that child who was abducted years ago who they just now found, abducted right in front of her step dad or something??


I realize there aren''t boogeymen hiding behind every bush waiting to snatch my children. But unfortunately, those boogeymen do exist, and I just prefer to err on the side of caution. Kids can certainly be independent and still be walked to school, or whatever the case may be. Kids don''t have adult defenses. Kids are trusting by nature, and there are people who will take advantage of that.


We have a ''treatment'' center for men who''ve taken advantage of childrens trusting nature right here in my town. It''s encircled by barbed wire and electric fences. And it''s so full we turn other wastes of the human species away b/c there are so many. And every single one of those men left behind parents saying ''But it was only 2 blocks'' or ''But we live in such a small town'' or ''But my child knows not to talk to strangers'' or ''But that would never happen to my child''.

While I certainly don''t disagree with your desire to protect your children, I think the example you quoted above proves that sometimes it''s just impossible to guard against potentially harmful situation. Short of having bars on their windows or sharing a bedroom, there is absolutely nothing further those parents could have done to protect their child. You are right, it can and does happen everywhere and it''s just too horrible to contemplate as a parent, but it''s worth remembering that in most instances children are far more at risk of being harmed by someone they know and trust, someone their parents know and trust.

This thread makes me think how interesting it is how we normalise certain risks, while attaching great significance to others. Most of us don''t think twice about driving our children to school in a car, risking a potentially fatal outcome, while the thought of sending our children out to walk to school fill us with dread. I''m not trying to make light of the potential risks of children walking unaccompanied, but I do wonder if they are greater than those posed by driving them around in a car.

And I do wonder if we are doing our children a disservice if we don''t allow them to experience some level of independence when growing up. What sort of world are we creating for them if we can''t let them walk a few doors down to visit a friend? At what age do we let go?

 

[Dancing Fire]

i walked home by myself when i was 7,but this was in the mid 60''s. we live in a different world nowadays.

 

[Mara]

softly your last few lines are exactly what i struggle with. i see a lot of kids nowadays that simply couldn''t exist if mom or dad or some friend''s mom wasn''t driving them somewhere to do something. and what age is the right age. the ironic thing is that people who don''t have kids think oh jeez i won''t be like that but then once you do have a kid, you really struggle with it. i don''t WANT to be like that, but as packrat said, you don''t want to be the parent crying on the news that it was only 4 houses or whatever.

i am hoping that there will be ways for me to foster some independence at a young age with our boy, and that mentally i can find a compromise that works. too bad the world just keeps getting seemingly worse.